Title: Teh Empire Strikes Back
GoldenSama - February 2, 2008 03:50 AM (GMT)
One month ago, in another thread on this board . . .
It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.
Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Kimi Cakeeater has established a new secret base on the ice world of Hoth.
The evil lord Darth CHoW, obsessed with finding the young Cakeeater, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space . . .
In the deepest depths of space, a Star Destroyer moves across the stars, releasing Imperial probe robots from its underside. One of these probes zooms through the galaxy and heads towards a ice—covered planet called Hoth.
On the surface of Hoth, a weird mechanical sound rises above the whining of the wind. The strange probe robot, with several extended sensors, emerges from a smoke-shrouded crater. The ominous mechanical probe floats across the snow plain and disappears into the distance.
On a small, windswept ice slope nearby there is a figure. A bundled rider is mounted on a large gray snow lizard, known as a Tauntaun. Plumes of snow rise from beneath the speeding paws of the two-legged beast. Finally it comes to a stop as the rider pulls it's reins. Pulling off her protective goggles, Kimi Cakeeater notices something in the sky. She takes a pair of binoculars from her utility belt and through them sees smoke rising from where the probe robot crashed.
She pulls out a comlink and speaks into it. “Echo Three to Echo Seven. Han, old buddy, do you read me?”
After a brief pause, a static-blurred voice is heard. “Loud and clear, kid. What's up?”
“Well, I finished my run. I don't pick up at life reading.” Kimi sighed into her comlink.
“There isn't enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruise. I'm going back to base.” Sama replied.
“Alright. I'll see you later. There's a meteorite that hit the ground near here, I want to check it out.” Kimi replied, then she clicked off her comlink. She pulled the reins back on the tauntaun, but it seemed too worried to move.
“Whoa! Steady girl. What's the matter? You smell something?” Kimi asked as she pets the lizard on the head. She reaches for her belt to get a tauntaun biscuit for the gray lizard, but suddenly a shadow falls over her from behind. She hears a growl and turns to see a eleven-foot-tall monster standing over her.
“Hello, I'm John Zoidberg.” The giant red lobster said.
Kimi blinked. “Um... hi. I'm Kimi Cakeeater.”
Zoidberg nodded. “Excellent! I'm meeting new people. But I'm very hungry, so I'm going to eat you.” The giant lobster lifted a claw and then struck Kimi in the head hard enough to knock her unconscious.
On another part of the remote Ice World, a small rebel base is situated. Rebel troops rush about, uploading supplies and otherwise securing their new base. As they do, a man riding on a tauntaun comes rushing into the base. He arrives inside and jumps off the tauntaun, taking off his goggles.
Han Sama, the rider, heads down a long Hangar, eventually coming to a large, beat-up looking spaceship called the Aluminum Potato. Despite looking like something made from old tin cans and spare car parts, it is actually one of the finest ships in the galaxy. On the ledge around the ship, a furry individual works with a welding torch and a protective face mask.
Han stops at the side of the ship and looks up at his co-pilot, Chewvenger.
“Hey, Venger!” Sama calls up.
A grumpy growl was his only response. After a moment, Chewvenger took his mask off and turned his head to Sama.
“You remember what you said? 'Get started on the welding and I'll be there to help in five minutes'... That was four hours ago, you lazy son of --”
Han cut him off. “All right, don't lose your temper. I'll come right back and give you a Hand.” With that, Sama quickly took off down a side corridor.
Chewvenger muttered something and put his mask on, resuming his work. He knew full well that Sama wouldn't be back until the work was done.
A makeshift command center has been set up in a blasted area of thick ice. The low-ceilinged room is a bustle of activity. Controllers, troops and droids move about setting up various equipment and monitoring computers. In the middle of the room is the recently-promoted General Vidit. He was working on a machine, but he straightens up as Sama approaches.
“Sama?” He asks.
“No sign of life out there, General. The sensors are in place, you'll know if anything comes around.” Han replied casually.
“Commander Cakeeater reported in yet?” Vidit asked.
“Naw. She's checking out a meteorite that hit near here.” Sama responded.
Commander Vidit turned to a radar screen behind him. “All the meteor activity in this system, it'll be hard to spot approaching ships.”
Taking a deep breath, Han blurts out his real reason for coming to see the General. “Look, I've got to leave. I can't stay anymore.”
Unknown to Han, on the other side of a display console nearby, is Princess Rose. She had been working on the machine, but stops after overhearing the conversation.
Vidit, meanwhile, turns to Sama and sighs. “I'm sorry to hear that.”
Sama scratches his head. “Well, there's a price on my head. And believe me, owing a debt to the Hutt family is not good... I hear they once boiled a guy in tomato sauce.”
General Vidit nodded in understanding. “A death mark's not an easy thing to live with... You're a good fighter, Sama. I hate to lose you.”
Han shrugged. “THanks, General.” He turned to leave, only to find the Princess standing in front of him. He paused suddenly as if he was very uncomfortable, and then said in a emotional voice: “Well, Your Highness, I guess this is it.”
Rose paused. “That's right.” She said simply.
The Princess is angry. Han sees she has no warmth to offer him. He shakes his head and his voice develops a sarcastic tone.
“Don't get all mushy on me. So long, Princess.” He turns and walks down the corridor. Rose clenches her fists and stews a moment; then she hurries after him.
As Sama stormed off into the hallway, behaving childishly, he was quickly followed by Princess Rose.
“Han!” She yelled, causing him to stop and turn to face her.
“Yes, Your Highnessness?” Han replied with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
Princess Rose crossed her arms. “I thought you decided to stay.”
Han shrugged. “Well, the bounty hunter we ran into on Ord Mantell cHanged my mind.” The smuggler shook his head and turned to walk away again.
“Han, we need you!” The Princess called back, making him stop once again. He had a odd look on his face.
“We?” Han replied.
“Yes.” Princess Rose responded.
The smuggler got a peculiar glint in his eyes. “Oh, what about you need?”
The Princess was mystified. “I need? I don't know what you're talking about.”
Han shook his head, clearly fed up. “You probably don't.”
Princess Rose was getting annoyed herself. “And what precisely am I supposed to know?”
Han was even more upset now. “Come on! You want me to stay because of the way you feel about me.”
She completely missed what he was implying. “Yes, you're a great help to us. You're a natural leader...”
Sama quickly cut her off. “No! That's not it. Come on. Aahh! Come on.”
Princess Rose stared at him for a minute, then she understood; then she started to laugh. “You're imagining things.”
That seemed to ruffle his feathers. The smuggler scoffed. “Am I? Then why are you following me? Afraid I was going to leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?”
His feathers weren't the only ones ruffled anymore. She crossed her arms. “I'd just as soon kiss a wookie.”
As Han started to speak, Chewvenger jumped down from the scaffolding around the Potato. “Yo!” He said, with a grin on his face.
Han smacked him on the back of the head, then the Princess followed suit. They both stormed off in opposite directions, leaving Chewvenger to laugh to himself before heading back to work.
In another part of the base a familiar stream of beeps and whistles herald the approach of Taz2-Z2 and Bender. The two are walking down the corridor, Bender going through a purse as they walk.
“Aw, man. No money. Stupid humans, never keeping money in their purses...” Bender complained.
Taz2's hood lifted up, revealing the face of a girl, who glared at Bender. “Bender! There's more important things to worry about!”
Bender crossed his arms. “Hey, don't blame me! I didn't tell you to turn on the thermal heater. I just said it was freezing in the Princess's chamber. Don't know how we'll dry out all her clothes... eh, hopefully there's nothing already putting her in a bad mood.”
The two robots continue on a bit until they come to the sight of the Aluminum Potato. Chewvenger is once again working on the side of the ship, while Han Sama stands at the ground, complaining. He is holding up a large metal device.
“Why did you take this apart now? I'm trying to get out of here and you take both of these apart!” Han grumbled.
Chewvenger muttered something in response, but the welding mask muffled his words... which was probably a good thing, considering Han was getting on his nerves.
“Excuse me, meatbag.” Bender prodded the starship captain in the back of the head.
“Put them back together; NOW!” Han yelled up at Chewvenger.
“Could we talk to you for a minute, Captain Sama?” Taz2 asked, proving once again she was the more polite of the two droids.
The smuggler, still fuming, turned around. “What do you want?”
Taz2 pushed the lid off the body of the robot and leaned out the side. “It's Princess Rose. She's been trying to reach you on the communicator.”
Sama crossed his arms. “I turned it off. I don't want to talk to her.”
Bender shrugged. “Me either. Geez, you flood somebody's bedroom and ruin all their stuff and suddenly all they want to do is yell at you.”
Taz2 shook her head and decided to ignore the bending unit. “Yes, well... The Princess is wondering about Master Kimi. She hasn't come back yet. Princess Rose doesn't know where she is.”
Han shrugged. “I don't know where she is.”
“Nobody knows where she is.” Taz2 replied.
Sama paused and raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean, 'nobody knows'?” Han glanced at the entrance to the Hangar, noticing the fading light.
“Well, you see...” Taz2 began, but Han ignored her as he started to walk away. The droids followed him.
“Deck Officer. Deck Officer!” Han yelled to the guard standing at the gate.
“Yes, sir?” The deck officer replied.
“Do you know where Commander Cakeeater is?” Sama asked.
The deck officer shook his head. “I haven't seen her. It's possible she came in the south entrance.”
Still annoyed, Sama narrowed his eyes. “Possible? Why don't you go find out. It's getting dark out there.”
The Deck Officer saluted and ran off. Han started to walk away, prompting the droids to follow him once more.
“Captain! Can I ask what's going on?” She pleaded.
“Why not?” Han replied sarcastically before he hurried off, leaving the droids alone.
Bender slurped down some more whiskey. “Eh, humans. I don't understand them. That's why I like to hit 'em with my shovel.”
Taz2 sighed, wishing that, just for once, she wasn't surrounded by idiots. “Let's go tell the Princess about this... I'm worried about Master Kimi, she could be in danger.”
Eventually, Han made it to the southern gate. There he came face to face with the Deck Officer from before.
“Sir, Commander Cakeeater hasn't come in through this entrance. She may have just forgotten to check in.” The deck officer said.
“Not likely. Are the speeders ready yet?” Han asked, his voice growing more worried by the minute.
The deck officer shook his head. “Not yet. We're having trouble getting them adapted to the cold.”
Han paused. “... I was asking about the snowspeeders.”
The deck officer nodded. “Yes, sir. They're not able to operate in the cold. We're working on it.”
Sama blinked twice. “Are you telling me that this friggin' ice cube is so cold the SNOWspeeders won't work?”
“Yes, sir. That's correct, sir.” The deck officer replied, completely oblivious.
Han muttered a few choice words that made the Deck Officer shift uncomfortably. “Fine, give me a Tauntaun, I'll go out on that.”
“Oh, no sir. The temperature's dropping too rapidly.” The deck officer replied.
“That's right.” Han's voice took on a considerably sarcastic tone. “And my friend's out in it!” His voice suddenly became serious again at the end of his statement, his eyes narrowing. He pushed the deck officer out of the way and climbed aboard a nearby tauntaun.
“Your tauntaun will freeze before you reach the first checkpoint!”
“Then I'll see you in hell!” Han snapped back as he pulled on the reigns, making the giant snow lizard run right out the door.
The jagged face of a huge ice wall sat gloomily in the dim twilight of the waning Hoth day. Kimi was Hanging upside down, ankles frozen into icy stalactites, her arms extended to within a foot of the snow floor. One side of her face is covered in dried, frozen blood. She opened her eyes at the sound of a moan as chilling as the snow.
Kimi pulls herself up and grabs a hold of her ankles, trying in vain to break the icy hold on them. She quickly exhausted herself and dropped back into a Hanging position. As she Hangs there for a few minutes, she looks down to spot her lightsaber lying in the snow about three feet out of her reach.
Kimi extended her Hand as far as it would go and focused on the saber. She remembered her former mentor, Obi-Wan Spoonobi, telling her that Force could move objects. She was having a hard time breaking the saber loose from the snow.
All at once, another icy howl lit up the chamber. “Burr... I don't like this ice planet, I don't!” The freakish lobster monster complained as he came into the cave. He spotted Kimi moving and made a angry screeching noise. “Ho, oh! So you're awake... that's good, because I'm very hungry!”
As Zoidberg loomed in for the kill, Kimi finally found the concentration to pull her saber to her Hands. She swings the blue blade and cuts her feet loose from the roof, falling to the snow below. The bright flash causes the lobster monster to back up, covering his eyes with his claws.
“Ah, turn out the lights already!”
Kimi staggers to her feet and slashes her saber viciously; severing the arm of the monster lobster. With a great sob, Zoidberg picks up his discarded arm and scuttles off into the darkness, complaining.
Kimi pants, she is tired, wounded and frostbitten. She hurries out of the snowy cavern and stumbles into a snow bank. She crawls onward, dragging herself across the mounds of snow.
“... You know, I'm from a DESERT planet... why the heck would I hide out on a snow world?” She wondered to herself.
Outside the Rebel Base, just as dusk was settling in, Taz2-Z2 was standing outside. The robotic shell she usually rode around in was folded up and placed on her belt; instead she was wearing a very thick jacket with a fluffy hood. Bender stood beside her, yawning.
“Hey, let's go back inside. Master Cakeeater is dead, so let's just go drink.” Bender suggested. She kicked him in the leg.
Bender shrugged and headed back inside, while Taz2 remained vigil as she watched the horizon for any sign of the Jedi-in-training or the smuggler.
Back in the snowy hills of Hoth, Kimi is having a hard time staying upright. She continuously falls over as the cold wind billows from all directions. Finally she collapses one last time, tries to get up; and fails.
Princess Rose stands inside the dark entrance to the Rebel base, waiting for any sign of the two missing Rebel heroes. She shivers in the cold wind as, nearby, Chewvenger sits with his head in his Hands. A moment later the door opens and Taz2-Z2, Bender and Commander Vidit walk out to join them.
“Princess, all the patrols are in. There's no contact with Cakeeater or Sama.” Vidit explained solemnly.
“I can't find anything on my scanners, either...” Taz2 admitted quietly. Seeing the horrified look in the Princess's eyes, she quickly added: “But my range is way too limited to lose hope.”
Rose nodded in acknowledgment, but was too lost in thought to answer.
“They're dead.” Bender added to the conversation; resulting in Chewvenger throwing a rock at him.
Commander Vidit stood for a moment and crossed his arms. “... I'm sorry, Your Highness, we can't keep the doors open any longer. We'll send out another scout squadron first thing in the morning.”
He shifted uncomfortably before turning and leaving. It was no easy task to call off the search for two of the Rebellion's greatest heroes, but the doors could not remain open all night, lest the rest of them should freeze.
“T-The chances of survival are... seven hundred and seventy-five... to one.” Taz2 sighed.
Rose stands alone, crying softly to herself as the huge metal doors slam across the entrance to the ice cave. The clang echoes throughout the entire cavern, joins by an angry shout from Chewvenger.
“... But, you know, I'm a droid, not a calculator, so what do I know?” Taz2 added, trying to comfort the Princess. “You shouldn't worry... Master Kimi's really smart, she'll be okay... and Captain Sama... umm... well, Master Kimi's really smart, she'll be okay.”
Out in the darkness of the wild, Kimi is lying face down in snow, nearly unconscious. Slowly she finds the strength to look up, seeing a vision. It is Obi-Wan Spoonobi, barely visible through the blowing snow. It is hard to tell if Spoonobi is real or not since she can see right through him.
“Kimi... Kimi.” Spoonobi's voice carries on the wind.
“Meh... Spoon?” Kimi blinks her eyes weakly.
Spoonobi steps forward. “You will go to the Dagobah system.”
Kimi rubs her eyes. “Yeah, I'd love to, but I'm busy dying.”
Spoonobi shakes his head. “Sarcastic to the end... but this isn't the end. Go to Dagobah, and you'll find the Jedi Master Sporka who instructed me.”
Kimi opened her mouth to speak, but Spoonobi vanished. She shook her head and then fell flat on her face in the snow. That could have been the end of the story, but a few minutes later someone came riding by in the snow.
“Stupid tauntaun... Move it! We have to find Kimi...” Sama was muttering to his lizard, trying to keep warm. Suddenly the tauntaun tripped on something in the snow and threw it's rider, causing him to fall flat on his face.
“Bah!” He sat up and looked down to see a half-frozen body in the snow. “Hey, buddy, if you're going to freeze to death, do it somewhere where I won't trip on... Kimi!” Sama realized who he had tripped over and quickly jumped up, crawling over to her.
“Kimi! Kimi! Don't do this, kid. Come on, give me a sign!” Han began to frantically rub and slap Kimi's face, trying desperately to wake her up. Just as he got started, though, he heard a rasping sound behind him. He turn to see a the tauntaun fall and die in the snow.
“... Seems odd that a wounded girl from the desert would survive for hours in the snow, while a animal that LIVES on the snowy planet would freeze to death so much easier.” Sama blinked. He looked back to Kimi and noticed the moonlight shining from the Handle of her lightsaber.
“Not much time.” Han muttered to himself as he pulled the semi-conscious Kimi towards the body of the big, gray lizard.
“Spoon... Spoon...” Kimi was moaning, though still out of it.
“Hang on, kid.” Sama muttered as he took the lightsaber from her belt. He activated the bright blue blade and paused. “Isn't it ironic this is the only time I'll get to use one of these?” With the fourth wall in now ripped, he leaned down and slashed open the tauntaun from head to tail.
Han reels from the smell that pours from the belly of the beast. Reluctantly he reaches in and pulls out the tauntaun's innards, throwing them into the snow. Then he lifts Kimi and stuffs her inside the carcass.
“Whew...” Han breathed.
“Dagobah...” Kimi muttered.
“This may smell bad, kid...” Sama began as he pushed her inside the depths of the beast.
“Sporka...” Kimi moaned, still only half-awake and thinking of Spoonobi's words.
“But it'll keep you warm till I get the shelter built.” Han muttered as he struggled with the carcass. “Ooh... I thought they smelled bad on the outside.”
With Kimi safely nestled inside the dead lizard, Han grabs a pack from the back of the beast and then sits in the snow, beginning to put together a makeshift shelter. Looking at it as he works, he knows it will be only a pitiful protection against the bitter night.
Dawn. As the sun rises and offers a small warmth for the weary rebels, four snub-nosed snowspeeders fly over the white hills. In the leading speeder is General Vidit, scanning the hills for any break in the snow that could be life.
As his speeder glides over the snow below, a monitor beeps in front of him. He picks up his transmitted. “Echo Base... I've got something! Not much, but it could be a life form.”
His speeder makes a slow arc, then races off in a new direction. Once again the Commander goes for his transmitter.
“This is Rouge Two. This is Rouge Two. Captain Sama, do you copy? Commander Cakeeater, do you copy? This is Rouge Two.” Vidit called out on his transmitter.
There is a sharp crackle of static, followed immediately by a faint voice.
“Good morning. Nice of you to drop by. Forgive me if I sound irritated, you would be two if you spent the night sleeping in snow, next to a unconscious Jedi-wannabe and the dead, rotting carcass of a big furry lizard.”
General Vidit shook his head. “I only know one guy who can complain that much... Echo Base, this is Rouge Two. I've found them! Repeat, I found them! Also, can someone explain why I, the acting leader of the Rebellion, am the one doing this?”
A few hours later, Kimi is sitting upright in a recovery-room bed, weak but smiling. Thanks to a healing tank. Her wounds are healed and she's leaning back in the pillows. The door opens, letting Taz2 and Bender into the room.
“Aww, you survived. I owe the Potato's computer sixty dollars.” Bender complained, crossing his arms.
“Master Kimi! Ignore the idiot, I'm really glad you're alive!” Taz2 grinned, rolling up next to the bed and smiling.
“Hey you two.” Kimi smiled to Taz2 and taking her advice, ignored Bender.
Just as the bending unit started to mutter to himself, the door opened and in came Chewvenger and Han Sama.
“Welcome back!” Chewvenger grinned. “Glad to see you looking healthy, although thanks to you surviving the cold I can't complain about the temperature in here anymore.”
Han leaned his elbow on one of the bedpost and smiled to her. “That's two you owe me, kid.”
Kimi shook her head. “I guess so.”
The door opens once more, causing heads to turn. A big, devilish grin crosses Han's face as Princess Rose walks in. “Well your Worship, looks like you managed to keep me around a little while longer.”
Rose shot him a irritated look. “I had nothing to do with it. General Vidit thinks it's dangerous for any ships to leave the system until we've activated the energy shield.”
Han crossed his arms. “That's a good story. I think you just can't bare to be separated from me.”
The Princess narrowed her eyes. “I don't know where you get your delusions.”
Chewvenger grins and laughs it up. Han, good-humoredly, looks back to him. “Laugh it up fuzzy, but you didn't see us alone in the passage yesterday.
Kimi raised an eyebrow, Taz2 shook her head and the Princess crossed her arms.
“She expressed her true feelings for me.” Sama said, leaning against the bedpost.
“My...! Why, you stuck up... half-witted... scruffy-looking...” Princess Rose was livid.
“Scruffy-looking?” Han took offense to that. “I must have hit pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh?”
The Princess paused, obviously thinking over her next option. She leaned down and picked up a small metallic food-tray from next to one of the beds. She pauses. “Kimi, I'm glad you're feeling better.” Then she throws the tray at Han's head, hitting him in the face and knocking him to the floor before she turns on a dime and leaves the room.
Chewvenger waited a few seconds, and then he fell onto the bed beside Kimi's and started laughing until he could hardly breath.
“I fink dy nobe is bwokem.” Han muttered as he got off the floor.
Suddenly the sound of the General's voice fills the room as he takes to the PA system. “All HQ Personnel, report to the command center.” Vidit's voice repeated the order once again, and quickly Han, Chewvenger and the droids headed for the door.
“Take it easy.” Han called to Kimi over his shoulder.
“I'll come check on you later!” Taz2 added as she rolled through the door.
“I won't.” Bender admitted.
Chewvenger offered a wave and followed the others.
It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.
Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Kimi Cakeeater has established a new secret base on the ice world of Hoth.
The evil lord Darth CHoW, obsessed with finding the young Cakeeater, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space . . .
In the deepest depths of space, a Star Destroyer moves across the stars, releasing Imperial probe robots from its underside. One of these probes zooms through the galaxy and heads towards a ice—covered planet called Hoth.
On the surface of Hoth, a weird mechanical sound rises above the whining of the wind. The strange probe robot, with several extended sensors, emerges from a smoke-shrouded crater. The ominous mechanical probe floats across the snow plain and disappears into the distance.
On a small, windswept ice slope nearby there is a figure. A bundled rider is mounted on a large gray snow lizard, known as a Tauntaun. Plumes of snow rise from beneath the speeding paws of the two-legged beast. Finally it comes to a stop as the rider pulls it's reins. Pulling off her protective goggles, Kimi Cakeeater notices something in the sky. She takes a pair of binoculars from her utility belt and through them sees smoke rising from where the probe robot crashed.
She pulls out a comlink and speaks into it. “Echo Three to Echo Seven. Han, old buddy, do you read me?”
After a brief pause, a static-blurred voice is heard. “Loud and clear, kid. What's up?”
“Well, I finished my run. I don't pick up at life reading.” Kimi sighed into her comlink.
“There isn't enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruise. I'm going back to base.” Sama replied.
“Alright. I'll see you later. There's a meteorite that hit the ground near here, I want to check it out.” Kimi replied, then she clicked off her comlink. She pulled the reins back on the tauntaun, but it seemed too worried to move.
“Whoa! Steady girl. What's the matter? You smell something?” Kimi asked as she pets the lizard on the head. She reaches for her belt to get a tauntaun biscuit for the gray lizard, but suddenly a shadow falls over her from behind. She hears a growl and turns to see a eleven-foot-tall monster standing over her.
“Hello, I'm John Zoidberg.” The giant red lobster said.
Kimi blinked. “Um... hi. I'm Kimi Cakeeater.”
Zoidberg nodded. “Excellent! I'm meeting new people. But I'm very hungry, so I'm going to eat you.” The giant lobster lifted a claw and then struck Kimi in the head hard enough to knock her unconscious.
On another part of the remote Ice World, a small rebel base is situated. Rebel troops rush about, uploading supplies and otherwise securing their new base. As they do, a man riding on a tauntaun comes rushing into the base. He arrives inside and jumps off the tauntaun, taking off his goggles.
Han Sama, the rider, heads down a long Hangar, eventually coming to a large, beat-up looking spaceship called the Aluminum Potato. Despite looking like something made from old tin cans and spare car parts, it is actually one of the finest ships in the galaxy. On the ledge around the ship, a furry individual works with a welding torch and a protective face mask.
Han stops at the side of the ship and looks up at his co-pilot, Chewvenger.
“Hey, Venger!” Sama calls up.
A grumpy growl was his only response. After a moment, Chewvenger took his mask off and turned his head to Sama.
“You remember what you said? 'Get started on the welding and I'll be there to help in five minutes'... That was four hours ago, you lazy son of --”
Han cut him off. “All right, don't lose your temper. I'll come right back and give you a Hand.” With that, Sama quickly took off down a side corridor.
Chewvenger muttered something and put his mask on, resuming his work. He knew full well that Sama wouldn't be back until the work was done.
A makeshift command center has been set up in a blasted area of thick ice. The low-ceilinged room is a bustle of activity. Controllers, troops and droids move about setting up various equipment and monitoring computers. In the middle of the room is the recently-promoted General Vidit. He was working on a machine, but he straightens up as Sama approaches.
“Sama?” He asks.
“No sign of life out there, General. The sensors are in place, you'll know if anything comes around.” Han replied casually.
“Commander Cakeeater reported in yet?” Vidit asked.
“Naw. She's checking out a meteorite that hit near here.” Sama responded.
Commander Vidit turned to a radar screen behind him. “All the meteor activity in this system, it'll be hard to spot approaching ships.”
Taking a deep breath, Han blurts out his real reason for coming to see the General. “Look, I've got to leave. I can't stay anymore.”
Unknown to Han, on the other side of a display console nearby, is Princess Rose. She had been working on the machine, but stops after overhearing the conversation.
Vidit, meanwhile, turns to Sama and sighs. “I'm sorry to hear that.”
Sama scratches his head. “Well, there's a price on my head. And believe me, owing a debt to the Hutt family is not good... I hear they once boiled a guy in tomato sauce.”
General Vidit nodded in understanding. “A death mark's not an easy thing to live with... You're a good fighter, Sama. I hate to lose you.”
Han shrugged. “THanks, General.” He turned to leave, only to find the Princess standing in front of him. He paused suddenly as if he was very uncomfortable, and then said in a emotional voice: “Well, Your Highness, I guess this is it.”
Rose paused. “That's right.” She said simply.
The Princess is angry. Han sees she has no warmth to offer him. He shakes his head and his voice develops a sarcastic tone.
“Don't get all mushy on me. So long, Princess.” He turns and walks down the corridor. Rose clenches her fists and stews a moment; then she hurries after him.
As Sama stormed off into the hallway, behaving childishly, he was quickly followed by Princess Rose.
“Han!” She yelled, causing him to stop and turn to face her.
“Yes, Your Highnessness?” Han replied with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
Princess Rose crossed her arms. “I thought you decided to stay.”
Han shrugged. “Well, the bounty hunter we ran into on Ord Mantell cHanged my mind.” The smuggler shook his head and turned to walk away again.
“Han, we need you!” The Princess called back, making him stop once again. He had a odd look on his face.
“We?” Han replied.
“Yes.” Princess Rose responded.
The smuggler got a peculiar glint in his eyes. “Oh, what about you need?”
The Princess was mystified. “I need? I don't know what you're talking about.”
Han shook his head, clearly fed up. “You probably don't.”
Princess Rose was getting annoyed herself. “And what precisely am I supposed to know?”
Han was even more upset now. “Come on! You want me to stay because of the way you feel about me.”
She completely missed what he was implying. “Yes, you're a great help to us. You're a natural leader...”
Sama quickly cut her off. “No! That's not it. Come on. Aahh! Come on.”
Princess Rose stared at him for a minute, then she understood; then she started to laugh. “You're imagining things.”
That seemed to ruffle his feathers. The smuggler scoffed. “Am I? Then why are you following me? Afraid I was going to leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?”
His feathers weren't the only ones ruffled anymore. She crossed her arms. “I'd just as soon kiss a wookie.”
As Han started to speak, Chewvenger jumped down from the scaffolding around the Potato. “Yo!” He said, with a grin on his face.
Han smacked him on the back of the head, then the Princess followed suit. They both stormed off in opposite directions, leaving Chewvenger to laugh to himself before heading back to work.
In another part of the base a familiar stream of beeps and whistles herald the approach of Taz2-Z2 and Bender. The two are walking down the corridor, Bender going through a purse as they walk.
“Aw, man. No money. Stupid humans, never keeping money in their purses...” Bender complained.
Taz2's hood lifted up, revealing the face of a girl, who glared at Bender. “Bender! There's more important things to worry about!”
Bender crossed his arms. “Hey, don't blame me! I didn't tell you to turn on the thermal heater. I just said it was freezing in the Princess's chamber. Don't know how we'll dry out all her clothes... eh, hopefully there's nothing already putting her in a bad mood.”
The two robots continue on a bit until they come to the sight of the Aluminum Potato. Chewvenger is once again working on the side of the ship, while Han Sama stands at the ground, complaining. He is holding up a large metal device.
“Why did you take this apart now? I'm trying to get out of here and you take both of these apart!” Han grumbled.
Chewvenger muttered something in response, but the welding mask muffled his words... which was probably a good thing, considering Han was getting on his nerves.
“Excuse me, meatbag.” Bender prodded the starship captain in the back of the head.
“Put them back together; NOW!” Han yelled up at Chewvenger.
“Could we talk to you for a minute, Captain Sama?” Taz2 asked, proving once again she was the more polite of the two droids.
The smuggler, still fuming, turned around. “What do you want?”
Taz2 pushed the lid off the body of the robot and leaned out the side. “It's Princess Rose. She's been trying to reach you on the communicator.”
Sama crossed his arms. “I turned it off. I don't want to talk to her.”
Bender shrugged. “Me either. Geez, you flood somebody's bedroom and ruin all their stuff and suddenly all they want to do is yell at you.”
Taz2 shook her head and decided to ignore the bending unit. “Yes, well... The Princess is wondering about Master Kimi. She hasn't come back yet. Princess Rose doesn't know where she is.”
Han shrugged. “I don't know where she is.”
“Nobody knows where she is.” Taz2 replied.
Sama paused and raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean, 'nobody knows'?” Han glanced at the entrance to the Hangar, noticing the fading light.
“Well, you see...” Taz2 began, but Han ignored her as he started to walk away. The droids followed him.
“Deck Officer. Deck Officer!” Han yelled to the guard standing at the gate.
“Yes, sir?” The deck officer replied.
“Do you know where Commander Cakeeater is?” Sama asked.
The deck officer shook his head. “I haven't seen her. It's possible she came in the south entrance.”
Still annoyed, Sama narrowed his eyes. “Possible? Why don't you go find out. It's getting dark out there.”
The Deck Officer saluted and ran off. Han started to walk away, prompting the droids to follow him once more.
“Captain! Can I ask what's going on?” She pleaded.
“Why not?” Han replied sarcastically before he hurried off, leaving the droids alone.
Bender slurped down some more whiskey. “Eh, humans. I don't understand them. That's why I like to hit 'em with my shovel.”
Taz2 sighed, wishing that, just for once, she wasn't surrounded by idiots. “Let's go tell the Princess about this... I'm worried about Master Kimi, she could be in danger.”
Eventually, Han made it to the southern gate. There he came face to face with the Deck Officer from before.
“Sir, Commander Cakeeater hasn't come in through this entrance. She may have just forgotten to check in.” The deck officer said.
“Not likely. Are the speeders ready yet?” Han asked, his voice growing more worried by the minute.
The deck officer shook his head. “Not yet. We're having trouble getting them adapted to the cold.”
Han paused. “... I was asking about the snowspeeders.”
The deck officer nodded. “Yes, sir. They're not able to operate in the cold. We're working on it.”
Sama blinked twice. “Are you telling me that this friggin' ice cube is so cold the SNOWspeeders won't work?”
“Yes, sir. That's correct, sir.” The deck officer replied, completely oblivious.
Han muttered a few choice words that made the Deck Officer shift uncomfortably. “Fine, give me a Tauntaun, I'll go out on that.”
“Oh, no sir. The temperature's dropping too rapidly.” The deck officer replied.
“That's right.” Han's voice took on a considerably sarcastic tone. “And my friend's out in it!” His voice suddenly became serious again at the end of his statement, his eyes narrowing. He pushed the deck officer out of the way and climbed aboard a nearby tauntaun.
“Your tauntaun will freeze before you reach the first checkpoint!”
“Then I'll see you in hell!” Han snapped back as he pulled on the reigns, making the giant snow lizard run right out the door.
The jagged face of a huge ice wall sat gloomily in the dim twilight of the waning Hoth day. Kimi was Hanging upside down, ankles frozen into icy stalactites, her arms extended to within a foot of the snow floor. One side of her face is covered in dried, frozen blood. She opened her eyes at the sound of a moan as chilling as the snow.
Kimi pulls herself up and grabs a hold of her ankles, trying in vain to break the icy hold on them. She quickly exhausted herself and dropped back into a Hanging position. As she Hangs there for a few minutes, she looks down to spot her lightsaber lying in the snow about three feet out of her reach.
Kimi extended her Hand as far as it would go and focused on the saber. She remembered her former mentor, Obi-Wan Spoonobi, telling her that Force could move objects. She was having a hard time breaking the saber loose from the snow.
All at once, another icy howl lit up the chamber. “Burr... I don't like this ice planet, I don't!” The freakish lobster monster complained as he came into the cave. He spotted Kimi moving and made a angry screeching noise. “Ho, oh! So you're awake... that's good, because I'm very hungry!”
As Zoidberg loomed in for the kill, Kimi finally found the concentration to pull her saber to her Hands. She swings the blue blade and cuts her feet loose from the roof, falling to the snow below. The bright flash causes the lobster monster to back up, covering his eyes with his claws.
“Ah, turn out the lights already!”
Kimi staggers to her feet and slashes her saber viciously; severing the arm of the monster lobster. With a great sob, Zoidberg picks up his discarded arm and scuttles off into the darkness, complaining.
Kimi pants, she is tired, wounded and frostbitten. She hurries out of the snowy cavern and stumbles into a snow bank. She crawls onward, dragging herself across the mounds of snow.
“... You know, I'm from a DESERT planet... why the heck would I hide out on a snow world?” She wondered to herself.
Outside the Rebel Base, just as dusk was settling in, Taz2-Z2 was standing outside. The robotic shell she usually rode around in was folded up and placed on her belt; instead she was wearing a very thick jacket with a fluffy hood. Bender stood beside her, yawning.
“Hey, let's go back inside. Master Cakeeater is dead, so let's just go drink.” Bender suggested. She kicked him in the leg.
Bender shrugged and headed back inside, while Taz2 remained vigil as she watched the horizon for any sign of the Jedi-in-training or the smuggler.
Back in the snowy hills of Hoth, Kimi is having a hard time staying upright. She continuously falls over as the cold wind billows from all directions. Finally she collapses one last time, tries to get up; and fails.
Princess Rose stands inside the dark entrance to the Rebel base, waiting for any sign of the two missing Rebel heroes. She shivers in the cold wind as, nearby, Chewvenger sits with his head in his Hands. A moment later the door opens and Taz2-Z2, Bender and Commander Vidit walk out to join them.
“Princess, all the patrols are in. There's no contact with Cakeeater or Sama.” Vidit explained solemnly.
“I can't find anything on my scanners, either...” Taz2 admitted quietly. Seeing the horrified look in the Princess's eyes, she quickly added: “But my range is way too limited to lose hope.”
Rose nodded in acknowledgment, but was too lost in thought to answer.
“They're dead.” Bender added to the conversation; resulting in Chewvenger throwing a rock at him.
Commander Vidit stood for a moment and crossed his arms. “... I'm sorry, Your Highness, we can't keep the doors open any longer. We'll send out another scout squadron first thing in the morning.”
He shifted uncomfortably before turning and leaving. It was no easy task to call off the search for two of the Rebellion's greatest heroes, but the doors could not remain open all night, lest the rest of them should freeze.
“T-The chances of survival are... seven hundred and seventy-five... to one.” Taz2 sighed.
Rose stands alone, crying softly to herself as the huge metal doors slam across the entrance to the ice cave. The clang echoes throughout the entire cavern, joins by an angry shout from Chewvenger.
“... But, you know, I'm a droid, not a calculator, so what do I know?” Taz2 added, trying to comfort the Princess. “You shouldn't worry... Master Kimi's really smart, she'll be okay... and Captain Sama... umm... well, Master Kimi's really smart, she'll be okay.”
Out in the darkness of the wild, Kimi is lying face down in snow, nearly unconscious. Slowly she finds the strength to look up, seeing a vision. It is Obi-Wan Spoonobi, barely visible through the blowing snow. It is hard to tell if Spoonobi is real or not since she can see right through him.
“Kimi... Kimi.” Spoonobi's voice carries on the wind.
“Meh... Spoon?” Kimi blinks her eyes weakly.
Spoonobi steps forward. “You will go to the Dagobah system.”
Kimi rubs her eyes. “Yeah, I'd love to, but I'm busy dying.”
Spoonobi shakes his head. “Sarcastic to the end... but this isn't the end. Go to Dagobah, and you'll find the Jedi Master Sporka who instructed me.”
Kimi opened her mouth to speak, but Spoonobi vanished. She shook her head and then fell flat on her face in the snow. That could have been the end of the story, but a few minutes later someone came riding by in the snow.
“Stupid tauntaun... Move it! We have to find Kimi...” Sama was muttering to his lizard, trying to keep warm. Suddenly the tauntaun tripped on something in the snow and threw it's rider, causing him to fall flat on his face.
“Bah!” He sat up and looked down to see a half-frozen body in the snow. “Hey, buddy, if you're going to freeze to death, do it somewhere where I won't trip on... Kimi!” Sama realized who he had tripped over and quickly jumped up, crawling over to her.
“Kimi! Kimi! Don't do this, kid. Come on, give me a sign!” Han began to frantically rub and slap Kimi's face, trying desperately to wake her up. Just as he got started, though, he heard a rasping sound behind him. He turn to see a the tauntaun fall and die in the snow.
“... Seems odd that a wounded girl from the desert would survive for hours in the snow, while a animal that LIVES on the snowy planet would freeze to death so much easier.” Sama blinked. He looked back to Kimi and noticed the moonlight shining from the Handle of her lightsaber.
“Not much time.” Han muttered to himself as he pulled the semi-conscious Kimi towards the body of the big, gray lizard.
“Spoon... Spoon...” Kimi was moaning, though still out of it.
“Hang on, kid.” Sama muttered as he took the lightsaber from her belt. He activated the bright blue blade and paused. “Isn't it ironic this is the only time I'll get to use one of these?” With the fourth wall in now ripped, he leaned down and slashed open the tauntaun from head to tail.
Han reels from the smell that pours from the belly of the beast. Reluctantly he reaches in and pulls out the tauntaun's innards, throwing them into the snow. Then he lifts Kimi and stuffs her inside the carcass.
“Whew...” Han breathed.
“Dagobah...” Kimi muttered.
“This may smell bad, kid...” Sama began as he pushed her inside the depths of the beast.
“Sporka...” Kimi moaned, still only half-awake and thinking of Spoonobi's words.
“But it'll keep you warm till I get the shelter built.” Han muttered as he struggled with the carcass. “Ooh... I thought they smelled bad on the outside.”
With Kimi safely nestled inside the dead lizard, Han grabs a pack from the back of the beast and then sits in the snow, beginning to put together a makeshift shelter. Looking at it as he works, he knows it will be only a pitiful protection against the bitter night.
Dawn. As the sun rises and offers a small warmth for the weary rebels, four snub-nosed snowspeeders fly over the white hills. In the leading speeder is General Vidit, scanning the hills for any break in the snow that could be life.
As his speeder glides over the snow below, a monitor beeps in front of him. He picks up his transmitted. “Echo Base... I've got something! Not much, but it could be a life form.”
His speeder makes a slow arc, then races off in a new direction. Once again the Commander goes for his transmitter.
“This is Rouge Two. This is Rouge Two. Captain Sama, do you copy? Commander Cakeeater, do you copy? This is Rouge Two.” Vidit called out on his transmitter.
There is a sharp crackle of static, followed immediately by a faint voice.
“Good morning. Nice of you to drop by. Forgive me if I sound irritated, you would be two if you spent the night sleeping in snow, next to a unconscious Jedi-wannabe and the dead, rotting carcass of a big furry lizard.”
General Vidit shook his head. “I only know one guy who can complain that much... Echo Base, this is Rouge Two. I've found them! Repeat, I found them! Also, can someone explain why I, the acting leader of the Rebellion, am the one doing this?”
A few hours later, Kimi is sitting upright in a recovery-room bed, weak but smiling. Thanks to a healing tank. Her wounds are healed and she's leaning back in the pillows. The door opens, letting Taz2 and Bender into the room.
“Aww, you survived. I owe the Potato's computer sixty dollars.” Bender complained, crossing his arms.
“Master Kimi! Ignore the idiot, I'm really glad you're alive!” Taz2 grinned, rolling up next to the bed and smiling.
“Hey you two.” Kimi smiled to Taz2 and taking her advice, ignored Bender.
Just as the bending unit started to mutter to himself, the door opened and in came Chewvenger and Han Sama.
“Welcome back!” Chewvenger grinned. “Glad to see you looking healthy, although thanks to you surviving the cold I can't complain about the temperature in here anymore.”
Han leaned his elbow on one of the bedpost and smiled to her. “That's two you owe me, kid.”
Kimi shook her head. “I guess so.”
The door opens once more, causing heads to turn. A big, devilish grin crosses Han's face as Princess Rose walks in. “Well your Worship, looks like you managed to keep me around a little while longer.”
Rose shot him a irritated look. “I had nothing to do with it. General Vidit thinks it's dangerous for any ships to leave the system until we've activated the energy shield.”
Han crossed his arms. “That's a good story. I think you just can't bare to be separated from me.”
The Princess narrowed her eyes. “I don't know where you get your delusions.”
Chewvenger grins and laughs it up. Han, good-humoredly, looks back to him. “Laugh it up fuzzy, but you didn't see us alone in the passage yesterday.
Kimi raised an eyebrow, Taz2 shook her head and the Princess crossed her arms.
“She expressed her true feelings for me.” Sama said, leaning against the bedpost.
“My...! Why, you stuck up... half-witted... scruffy-looking...” Princess Rose was livid.
“Scruffy-looking?” Han took offense to that. “I must have hit pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh?”
The Princess paused, obviously thinking over her next option. She leaned down and picked up a small metallic food-tray from next to one of the beds. She pauses. “Kimi, I'm glad you're feeling better.” Then she throws the tray at Han's head, hitting him in the face and knocking him to the floor before she turns on a dime and leaves the room.
Chewvenger waited a few seconds, and then he fell onto the bed beside Kimi's and started laughing until he could hardly breath.
“I fink dy nobe is bwokem.” Han muttered as he got off the floor.
Suddenly the sound of the General's voice fills the room as he takes to the PA system. “All HQ Personnel, report to the command center.” Vidit's voice repeated the order once again, and quickly Han, Chewvenger and the droids headed for the door.
“Take it easy.” Han called to Kimi over his shoulder.
“I'll come check on you later!” Taz2 added as she rolled through the door.
“I won't.” Bender admitted.
Chewvenger offered a wave and followed the others.
GoldenSama - February 2, 2008 03:51 AM (GMT)
In the Command Center, General Vidit is sitting at a tall table. He looks up grimly from the console screen on that table as the room fills with the other command personnel. The Princess arrives on his right, Han on his left. The two exchange a quick glance before the General began to speak.
“We have a visitor.” Vidit explained. “Scanners picked up something outside the base zone, moving east. It's metal, whatever it is.”
“Then it couldn't be one of those creatures that attacked.” Rose said, her voice becoming very serious.
“It could be a speeder, one of ours.” Han suggested.
Vidit shook his head. “No, can't be.... wait, there's something coming through on the speaker!”
A static-filled conversation began to play from the console they were all staring at. Two voices, both heavily muffled by the bad signal, filled the room.
“You remember what to do, right? As soon as you see the Rebel Base, give the signal and we'll start the mass invasion.” That voice was a familiar one that caused both the smuggler and the princess to excHange looks.
“That sounds like...” Han started.
“Darth CHoW! I'll never forget that tyrants voice!” Rose replied, angrily remembering her long captivity on the Death Star.
“... Relax. I'm a Professional.” The second voice was one they did not know.
“Sounds like they know we're here.” Rose said quietly. She then turned to the General. “You'd better start the evacuation.”
Pilots, gunners and R2 unites scurry about the base. Kimi, released from the hospital wing, pulls on a heavy winter jacket and heads for a row of armored speeders. She stops near the Aluminum Potato. She notices Chewvenger and Han working on the ship.
“Chewie, take care of yourself, okay?” She calls.
“Yeah, same to you.” Chewvenger called back as he welded something to the side of the Potato.
“Hey kid. You all right?” Han asked.
“Yeah.” Kimi replied.
“Be careful.”
“You too.” Kimi smiles and then waves to her friends before she walks on. She pauses and turns over her shoulder, spotting the two smugglers one last time. The three of them excHange glances, silently communicating that they wish each other safety and happiness.
Outside the base, several rebel troops set up in snow trenches in front of and beside the main Hangar. Many of them hold large, bazooka-like weapons. Others are positioned on mounted laser cannons. Everyone is sitting and waiting for the invasion they know to be beginning.
In the command center, the Rebel controllers are tense. Princess Rose and General Vidit are at the table, the General busy reading over battle co-ordinates while the Princess is trying her hardest not to look worried.
“Their primary target will be the power generators.” The General explained to everyone. “We'll send the pilots out to escort the transport ships. Make sure the Ion Cannon fires into space first to clear their path.”
Outside the main Hangar, a thin horizontal line cuts across the bleak landscape. Small dot-sized objects begin to appear on the horizon, moving in the direction of the Rebel base.
In one of the trenches, a Rebel officer lifts a pair of electrobinoculars to his eyes. Through the lens he sees a very close view of a giant imperial snow walker. He adjusts the view which then pans back to reveal three more of the ominous battle machines.
The officer then spots small yellow flashes near the head of the snow walker. A moment later, laser blasts pound the ground all around the trench he's stationed in. He picks up his comlink. “Echo Base, come in! Imperial Snow Walkers are coming towards us!”
The Rebel troops aim their weapons at the horizon as the explosions continue to erupt all around them. They let loose with their own lasers, sending them flying across the snowy ground and through the cold air towards the gigantic targets.
Behind the troops, a dozen snow speeders race through the sky. Rouge Leader, the speeder piloted by Kimi Cakeeater, leads the charge. Behind Kimi sits her ship's gunner, Dexter. A redheaded kid with big glasses.
“All right everyone, stay on approach.” Kimi ordered through her comlink.
“You fool! We don't even have a vector pattern yet!” Dexter complained.
“I don't even know what that means!” Kimi replied.
The cannons mounted on the walker head fire at the speeders as they come flying by. Kimi maneuvers beneath the head and then between the four legs of the massive snow walker. She fired lasers at the legs and underbelly of the mechanical behemoth, but they had limited effect.
“That armor's too strong for blasters!” Kimi called to Dexter, and then turned to the comlink. “Rouge Group, use your harpoons and tow cables; aim for the legs! It might be our only chance of stopping them!”
Kimi moves her speeder in close to the giant snow walker's legs, zooming from side to side. As she flies, Dexter flips a switch and sends a tow cable blasting into the side of the gargantuan robot's foot cup. Kimi flies around and around, moving along the outside of it's legs. Finally, after three passes around the machine, it can no longer walk and falls into the snow.
“Alright!” Kimi grinned. As she zooms away, a bright yellow laser sails right in through her window. She feels it coming through the force and moves her head away in time; but it keeps going and strikes Dexter, killing the boy genius instantly.
Kimi continues to fly, switching the firing mechanisms to her controls. She continues forward and begins blasting away at a second walker; but suddenly her ship is hit again and it spins out of control, slamming into the ground.
She groans and shakes her head. A look out her broken window reveals that the snow walker is heading her way, and her entire speeder will soon be crushed! She grabs her lightsaber and a small box and jumps out of the speeder just before the massive machine crushes it.
Kimi shakes herself off and looks up at the machine. She knows she must disable it somehow; but she's running out of time. Reaching for the box she grabbed from the speeder, Kimi extracts a grappling wire-gun, which she aims at the robot and fires.
Quickly she is pulled up the wire and with a flick of her lightsaber, a hole is cut in the underbelly of the machine. She tosses a round, metal sphere inside and then lets loose of the wire, falling to the snow below and quickly rolling out from under the machine.
Just as the bomb she tossed inside explodes, the snow walker lets loose another volley of laser blasts. The walker is destroyed from the inside out by the small-but-powerful thermal detonator; but it is too late! The lasers it fired in it's last seconds of operations strike the shield generator and cause it to explode – making the rebel base vulnerable.
“... Oops.” Kimi rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. She looks up to see something in the sky – a black ship with curved wings is landing near the rebel base. She recognizes it as a TIE Fighter.
General Vidit sighs as he turned to the others in the command center. “We have big problems! The shields are down, and the enemy ground troops are advancing! Everyone, hurry to your transports! Get out of here! Evacuate!”
Muffles explosions create widening cracks in the ice roof of the Hangar. Trying to ignore the noise and the falling bits of snow, Han works on the Aluminum Potato's lifters while Chewvenger is busy working on the wings.
“We need to hurry!” Chewvenger yelles down.
“Yeah, tell me about it!” Sama shouts back up.
Nearby, a X-Wing is being prepared for Kimi. Taz2-Z2, fully encased in her robot suit, is stationed just behind the control chamber. Bender is on the ground.
“Well, you'll probably die, so I better say this now...” Bender began. “... Are you human or a droid? Been bugging the heck out of me trying to figure that out.”
Taz2 started to speak, but just as she did there was a loud explosion from outside, masking the sound of her answer.
“Oooh.” Bender replied, having heard the answer anyway.
Han looks up after hearing the loud explosion, his face growing worried. “... That sounded like it came from the command center... 'Venger, keep working on the ship!”
As Han dashes off, Chewvenger growls in frustration. “His chasing that girl is going to get us both killed.”
Apart from the distant thunder of laser blasts, the commander center corridor is strangely quiet and empty. Running footsteps echo through the ice-cold hallway (which is made of ice) as Han runs towards the hall's end. Cracks have appeared in some of the walls and some pipes have broken, sending heated jets of steam billowing into the underground hallways.
Sama hurries into the command center. It is in shambles, but some people are still at their posts. As he enters, the walls shake and a large portion of the ice roof caves in, crushing most of the room. He dashes to what is left of the room and finds Princess Rose and Bender near one of the control boards.
“You all right?” Han asked concerned.
Rose nods; she is shocked to see him. “Where are you still here?”
“I heard the command center had been hit.” He replied.
The Princess shook her head. “You got your clearance to leave.”
“Don't worry, I'll leave. First I'm going to get you to your ship.” The smuggler was, for once, in a no-nonsense mood.
Bender finished the last sip of his beer and tossed the can behind him. “Eh, he's right, we should leave. I need to go to Seven-Eleven and get some more booze.”
Rose turned to the controller. “Send all troops in sector twelve to the south slope to protect the fighters.
There is another explosion, rocking the chamber. Bender falls backwards into Sama's arms. He blinks, then he drops the robot. The Princess continues to shout orders to the controller.
“Give the evacuation code signal; and then get to your transport!” She was in a panic, trying to make sure she did not forget anything.
“That's it; come on!”
Rose looks exhausted. Han gras her arm and starts to lead her out. As the smuggler, the princess and the bending droid run out of the command center, there is another massive explosion and the path they were taking caves in.
Han looks up as the snow blocks the path and he grabs his comlink. “Transport? This is Sama. Better take off – I can't get to you. I'll get the princess out on the Potato.”
Han and Rose run down another corridor, racing towards the Aluminum Potato. As they do, Bender struggles to follow, but he doesn't make it in time; the door closes behind the two as they run through, leaving Bender stuck in the corridor.
“If you're going to lock me out, fine! You can all bite my shiny metal ass!” Bender yells at the door. A second later it opens and Han grabs the droid, pulling him through.
In another part of the base, Imperial Troops have already invaded. As the white-clothed snowtroopers move into the room, blasting any rebels that they find, a their leader appears behind them. Standing in stark contrast to all the snow is Darth CHoW.
“Tear this Hangar apart if you have to, but find Cakeeater!” CHoW roared. He was usually more of a laid-back villain, but since the destruction of the Death Star, he had learned the identity of the young pilot who caused the destruction. The second he knew her to be Kimi Cakeeater, he had become consumed with finding her.
Beneath the Aluminum Potato's landing gear, Chewvenger paces worriedly. He mutters to himself for a moment before he hears a door open and spots Han, Rose and Bender run through.
“About time you showed up!” He yelled to them as they run by. He turns and runs up the ramp to get the ship started, quickly followed by the three escaping rebels.
A matter of seconds later, and Chewvenger is sitting in the co-pilot seat, hitting levers and switches. Han jumps into his captain's chair and starts pouring over the controls. Chewvenger spots a blinking light.
“Crap! It's not working!” He yelled to Han.
“Would if help if I get out and push?” Rose asked sarcastically.
“It might.” Han replies as he continues to push buttons.
“Could I suggest...” Bender begins. Sama gives him a dangerous glare and the robot turns and sits down, opening his chest and taking out a head in a jar.
“What the hell am I doing here?” The head – Harrison Ford – asked.
“I figured you could help.” Bender shrugged.
Han is getting annoyed fast. “Would you all just shut up!?”
“This bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade!” Rose, too, was getting impatient.
“This baby's got a few surprises left in her, sweetheart.”
There is a sudden explosion as a laser bombards the side of the Potato. Rose and Chewvenger glance out the window to see a squad of Snowtroopers, preparing to fire large, bazooka-like cannons at the Potato.
Han jumps into his pilot's seat and straps himself in. Rose buckles into the seat behind him and watches nervously as the Captain throws a switch on the dashboard. All at once the ship's engine roars to life and the Potato lifts off the ground and flies out of the open Hangar.
Han grins and looks over to the Princess. “See?”
“Someday you're going to be wrong, and I hope I'm there to see it.” She replied cooly.
The inner doors of the Hangar open as Darth CHoW steps into the room. He looks up just in time to see the Aluminum Potato fly off into the skies. He pauses and shakes his head.
“... You know, next time I see the Emperor, I need to ask him to get me some troops who KNOW HOW TO SHOOT!” He yelled the last part loud enough that the snowtroopers could hear him. He sighs and rubs his helmet with his Hand.
“...” He paused. “Wait... wait a minute... I DO know one guy who knows how to shoot... yeah, yeah! I'll call him! He'll find me the Potato!”
On a icy slope just outside the base, Kimi reaches her X-Wing. She finds Taz2 already inside, waiting for her, and she smiles. She looks up to see the Aluminum Potato speed off into the air and her grin becomes even bigger.
“Good, they got away.” She turned back to her own ship. “Taz2, get ready for takeoff!”
She climbs aboard her ship and she too takes off, leaving Hoth behind. Soon the ice planet is far behind as Kimi sails through the sky in her ship.
“Hey, Master Kimi... what's wrong?” Taz2 asked over the comlink.
“Nothing's wrong. I'm just setting a new course.” Kimi replied.
Taz2 blinked. “We're not going to regroup with the others?”
Kimi thought for a moment. “... No. We're going to the Dagobah system.”
In another part of space, the Potato was also making haste to get away from the ice world. Unfortunately, a red light started blinking and both Han and Chewvenger groaned.
A look out the window informed Rose what the problem was. Two gigantic Star Destroyers were moving in their direction.
“No problem...” Han grinned. “'Venger, make the jump to hyperdrive!”
“Yo, meatbag...” Bender started.
“Shut him up or shut him down!” Han replied quickly. Although he said 'no problem' only seconds ago, one very important change had taken place in those seconds – the Star Destroyers had begun to fire their emerald lasers at them.
“They're getting closer.” Rose commented as the ships moved in towards them.
“Oh yeah? Watch this!” Sama grinned as he flipped the light-speed switch.
The Potato just sat there.
“... Watch what?” Rose asked, raising an eyebrow.
“That's what I tried to tell ya.” Bender chimed in. “The hyper drive isn't working; we're all dead! Ahahahahahahaha!” Bender started laughing. Chewvenger grabbed his head, popped it off, and tossed it down the hallway. His body ran after it.
“DAMN!” Han yelled. He looked out the window to see TIE Fighters pouring out of the Star Destroyers and heading their way. “Venger, take over! I'm heading down to try to fix the hyperdrive!”
He jumped out of his seat and ran out of the room. Chewvenger shook his head and switched the controls to his panel. He made some quick maneuvers to escape the oncoming lasers. Rose looked around nervously, wondering why every time she flew with the smugglers it turned out like this.
In another portion of the Potato, Han was busy working on fixing a complicated piece of machinery. As he screwed it together, the entire ship gave a violent lurch and he flew forward into the wall.
“That was no laser, something hit us!” He exclaimed.
“Han, get up here!” Rose's voice filled the room over the intercom. The smuggler quickly got off the wall and ran back into the control room. When he glanced out the window, he grinned – which was the opposite as Rose and Chewvenger's horrified reactions.
Han grinned and jumped behind the controls once more.
“... Han, that's an asteroid field.” Rose stated the obvious, wanting to make sure he saw it.
“Yep.” Han replied.
“If you know that... Why are you flying INTO it!?” The Princess asked frantically.
Han smirked. “They'd have to be crazy to follow us, wouldn't they?”
Rose groaned as the ship turned into the asteroid field. “You don't have to do this to impress me.”
The Potato hurries into the storm of floating space rocks, asteroids sailing right by the windows. A much larger stone tumbles away from their path. Multiple sizes of space rocks sail by on all sides as Han and Chewvenger work to avoid them.
Several of the TIE Fighters are pelted with the asteroids and crash into each other, exploding.
The Star Destroyer is now heading into the belt of asteroids, it too being pounded by many of the rocks. The gigantic ship was too big to avoid them.
Unfortunately, the Potato wasn't having much better luck. Smaller asteroids were hitting it and causing lights to flicker and blink all around the control room. Princess Rose sits in her seat, stone-faced and staring at the action.
Han shot her a quick look. “You said you wanted to be around when I screwed up; this could be it, sweetheart.”
“I take it back. We're going to get pulverized if we stay out here much longer.” The Princess replied.
“I'm not going to argue with that.” Han replied. He thought about his options, and then an idea came to him. Perhaps a spark of genius – or maybe it was insanity.
“Venger... get us closer to one of those big ones.”
“Closer?” Chewvenger blinked, making sure he heard right.
“CLOSER!?” The Princess started to panic.
At that moment, Bender, his head reattached, reentered the room. “Ooh! Ooh! Are we committing suicide? Me first!”
Han ignores all of them. He looks around at the giant asteroid in front of them and grins. “Alright, this should do nicely.”
Chevwneger glances out the window and sees they are skimming the surface of a enormous asteroid, nearing a large crater. His eyes light up as he realizes the plan. “You crazy son of a lobster monster, this might actually work!”
“I hope you know what you're doing.” Rose added.
“Yeah, me too.” Han replied, not completely sure of himself.
The Potato floats down into a gigantic crater, safely hiding from the Imperial Star Destroyers that had been chasing it.
In another part of the galaxy, Kimi's X-Wing flies close to a green planet. She glances at her control monitor and sees the computer's readings about the planet.
“Bingo! This is Dagobah.” She grinned.
“I'm not picking up any cities or technology... Massive life-form readings, though. There's something alive down there.” Taz2 informed her over the X-Wing's computer. She paused, and then asked: “Do you think it's safe?”
Kimi paused for a minute. “I don't know...”
The X-Wing started to fly towards the planet, but as it hit the atmosphere something went wrong. A gigantic bird-creature flew by, so close to the ship that its tail hit one of the wings. Kimi suddenly lost control.
Thinking fast, she pulled back on the controls and tried to break the X-Wing out of its dive. She was too late, however, and it spun around and around until it crashed into a murky, green swamp.
The X-Wing is half-way buried in the murky swamp water. The lid opens and Kimi jumps out, standing on the wing. She sighs and a second later, Taz2 pops out of her cubbyhole in the back.
“You stay put,” Kimi said to the droid-girl. “I'll have a look around.”
Taz2, however, had not thought about how slippery the wing would be because of the swamp water. Her wheels slipped and she fell off the side, splashing into the murky water.
“Taz2!” Kimi yelled, looking down for any sign of her friend.
The small droid popped up and the top compartment opened. Taz2 stuck her head out and pinched her nose. “P'ew! This swamp sure is smelly... but I'm okay.” She smiled up to Kimi.
A second later, she was swallowed up by the gigantic jaws of a massive, monstrous fish! Kimi yelled out and reached for her blaster.
The fish disappeared beneath the waters before she got a shot. Kimi looked at the surface of the spooky swamp for several seconds, wondering where her droid could have gone to. After what seemed like an eternity, the fish popped back up and spat the droid shell out, it flew into the opposite shore.
Worried, Kimi jumped from her ship to a log, and then from the log to a rock; and then finally to the shore. She ran to the shell of Taz2, hoping the droid-girl would be inside. As she lifted up the lid, she saw Taz2, safe and sound – if not a bit shaken up.
“That was SCARY!” She shivered.
“Are you all right? Anything broken?” Kimi asked.
Taz2 sits up and rubs her head. “Naw... I'm okay. A little muddy, though...”
Kimi sat down beside the droid-girl and sighed. “You thought coming here was a bad idea... and I'm starting to agree with you.” She sighed and kicked her foot against the soggy shore. “Oh, what are we even doing here? It's like... something out of a dream. ... I don't know, maybe I'm going crazy.”
In space, a massive Star Destroyer floated along. This one was the personal ship of Lord CHoW. Just outside his chambers, Admiral McDonald stood. The redhead paused for a minute, obviously too nervous to just walk inside. After a deep breath, he entered the room – only to stop, paused in horror at the sight before him.
Darth CHoW, his back turned, is silhouetted in the far side of the room. A black, insect-like droid is tending to him. The helmet is missing from his head, and CHoW has several machines all around him. After a moment, the insect-like droid puts the helmet back on his head and CHoW turns to the redheaded officer.
“Yes, Admiral?” CHoW asked.
“Our ships have sighted the Aluminum Potato, lord. But... it has entered a Asteroid field and we cannot risk...”
CHoW cut him off. “Asteroids? Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship – not excuses. Now leave here and don't bother me again until you catch them or the Bounty Hunter arrives!”
In the depths of the crater, the pirate starship Potato rests in a cave. It is so dark it's impossible to tell the details of the cavern.
Inside the ship, Han and Chewvenger busily shut down the engine and all electronic systems.
“I'm going to go shut down the emergency power systems.” Han announces.
“Does that include me?” Bender asked.
“YES!” Chewvenger quickly replied, having had his fill of the Bending robot for the day... hours ago.
Han paused, thinking otherwise. “... No. I need you to talk to the Potato; find out what's wrong with the hyperdrive.”
Suddenly, the ship lurches, causing all loose items in the control room to go flying. “WONDERFUL hiding spot you picked.” Chewvenger exclaimed, more sarcasm in his voice tHan fur on his head.
“You know meatbag, it's possible this entire crater is unstable.” Bender chimed in.
“Unstable? Boy, am I glad you're here to tell us these things.” Sama mocked. “Venger, take the Professor here and plug him into the hyperdrive.”
Chewvenger sighed and stood up. “Alright, come on Mr. Roboto.” He grabbed Bender and pulled him out of the room. As the door closes behind them, the ship lurches violently for a second time.
This time it was powerful enough to throw Rose across the cabin and into Han's arms. The lurching settles down as suddenly as it started. With some surprise, Han and Rose realize they are in each other's arms.
“Let go.” The Princess quickly said.
“Sshh.” Han replied.
“Let go, please.” Rose flushes, averting her eyes. She's not actually fighting to get free; but naturally, Han blows it.
“Don't get excited.” Han said.
The anger rises in Rose. “Captain, being held by you isn't enough to get me excited.”
“Sorry sweetheart, that's all we have time for.” Han grins quickly at the Princess as he turns and exits out the door. Rose crosses her arms and sits down, confused.
GoldenSama - February 2, 2008 03:52 AM (GMT)
On Dagobah, in a gloomy-looking swamp, Kimi is sitting on the shore. She had just finished pulling an equipment box from the shore to the clearing. She opens a small fusion furnace and warms her Hands. Beside her, Taz2 is busy using a towel to clean the mud off her droid shell. Kimi looked over to make sure she was okay, then she opened a small container of food.
“Now all I have to do is find this Sporka... if he even exists.” Kimi sighed. Nervously, she looks around the foreboding jungle. Taking a bite of cake (because, what else would be in her emergency rations box?) she looks around.
“Still... there's something familiar about this place. I feel like... I don't know.” She paused.
“Feel like what?” A strange voice asked.
Kimi spun around, holding up her blaster. Mysteriously standing right in front of her is a man dressed in rags. He motions towards Kimi's blaster.
“Away with your weapon! I mean you no harm.” The mysterious man begs. After some hesitation, Kimi puts away her blaster, although she doesn't fully understand why she chose to do so. Taz2 watches with interest.
“I am wondering, why are you here?” The mystery man asked.
“I'm looking for someone.” Kimi replied.
“Looking? Found someone, you have!” The man responded, then he began to laugh at his own joke.
Kimi tries to keep from smiling. “Right.”
The man looks to her and says: “Help you I can. Yes, mmmm.”
Kimi shook her head. “I don't think so. I'm looking for a great warrior.”
This caused the man to pause. He leaned on his cane and pressed a finger to his lips. “Ahhh! A great warrior...” He shakes his head and laughs. “Wars not make one great.”
With the aid of his walking stick, the stranger moves to one of the cases of supplies. He begins to rummage around. Taz2 hurries over to eye the odd man – watching him very closely/
“Hey! Don't go through our stuff!” She objects.
The man walks away from the trunk, and instead grabs Kimi's container of cake and start munching away. She quickly steps forward.
“Put that down! Hey! That's my dinner!” Kimi complained.
The odd man throws the cake to the side – and into the swamp. Kimi is livid, becoming incredibly angry but biting her tongue.
“Listen, friend, we didn't mean to land in that puddle, and if we could get out ship out we'd leave; but we can't, so why don't you just...” Before she could finish her sentence, the odd man started teasing her.
“Aww, cannot get your ship out?” He grinned, but stopped abruptly as he spotted something of interest from Kimi's case. He dashed over to grab it, but Taz2 got in his way.
“Leave our stuff alone!” She demanded a second time.
“I want stuff! Or I will help you not!” The man replied firmly.
“I don't want your help, unless you can get me out of this slimy mudhole.” Kimi replied, crossing her arms.
“Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is.” The man said, leaning on his staff. He jumps forward suddenly and steals a small lamp from Kimi's trunk. Taz2 grabs it and the two exchange in a brief tug-of-war, until the man pokes her with his walking stick and she lets go.
Kimi is getting fed up. “Fine, take it. Now will you move along. We have a lot of work to do.”
“No! No, no! Stay and help you, I will.” The man laughed. “Find your friend, hmm?”
Kimi, by this time incredibly irritated, snapped back: “I'm not looking for a friend; I'm looking for a Jedi Master.”
The man paused at this, a look of understanding in his eyes. “Oohhh. Sporka. You see Sporka.”
Kimi blinked, completely shocked. “You know him?”
The man nodded. “Mmm! Take you to him I will!” He laughed. “But first, must eat. Come. Good food. Come!” He scurries out into the clearing, laughing happily. Kimi stares after him for a moment before she finally sighs and stands up, following him.
Kimi stopped him. “No, no, no, no, no! No time for food! ...” She paused. “Seriously, we can eat AFTER I find Sporka!”
The man sighed. “I can't train her. She's too impatient.”
“So was I, if you remember.” The voice of Obi-Wan Spoonobi suddenly speaks.
Kimi blinks. “Spoon?”
“... There is much anger in her.” The man replied as he turned to look at Kimi.
“She can accomplish the training. Trust me, old friend.” Spoonobi pleaded from beyond the grave.
“Spoon?” She paused and looked to the odd man. “You're... Sporka?”
Back in the crater, Han and Rose are in a small room working on the repairs, though their styles are quite different. Rose is welding a lever back into place on the wall, while Sama is using duct tape on a pipe that ruptured.
Rose finishes the welding and attempts to reengage the system by pulling the lever. It doesn't budge. Han notices her struggle and moves to help her; but she rebuffs him.
“Hey, Your Worship, I'm only trying to help.” Han said.
Rose, still struggling with the lever, sighs. “Would you please stop calling me that?”
“Sure, Rose.” Han replies casually.
Apparently he wasn't doing much to soothe her irritation with him from before. “Oh, you make it so difficult sometimes.”
“I do. I really do.” Han admitted, apparently fully aware of how annoying he was.
You could be a little nicer, though... Come on, admit it. Sometimes you think I'm all right.”
Rose lets go of the lever and rubs her Hand, which has become sore from trying to move the lever. “Occasionally...” She smiled a little, but stopped. “maybe... when you aren't acting like a scoundrel.”
Sama laughed. “Scoundrel? Scoundrel? . . . I like the sound of that.” He reached out and takes her Hand, massaging the back of it.
“Stop that.” Rose quickly says.
“Stop what?” Han decided to play dumb. At least, we're pretty sure he's playing.
Rose flushes, confused. “Stop that! My Hands are dirty.”
Han looked right into her eyes. “My Hands are dirty, too. What are you afraid of?”
“Afraid?” She repeats, meeting his gaze. Han gives her a piercing look, still holding her Hand.
“You're trembling.” He noted.
“I'm not trembling.” She denied.
Slowly, the space pirate began to draw Rose towards him. “You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life.”
The two are now very close to one another. Rose's voice is quiet as she speaks.
“I happen to like nice men.”
“I'm a nice man.” Han replies.
“No, you're not. You're...”
Rose trailed off as his Hand cupped her cheek and his lips found their way to hers. For a brief moment, the only thing that mattered in the universe was the two of them and their kiss. Then, as always seems to happen at moments such as these, there was an interruption.
“Hey meatbag, I figured out what's wrong with the hyperdri-- Oooh, what's this?” Bender came in through the door and paused.
Sama turns slowly from their embrace, all the heat that had been in his lips now chilled over from the icy glare he gave to Bender. “Thank you. Thank you VERY much.”
Bender laughed. “Hehehehe... you're welcome.”
The moment spoiled, Han marches out of the room to fix the hyperdrive.
Asteroids collide in the belt, creating a fireworks display outside the bridge window of the gigantic Star Destroyer under the command of CHoW. He is standing, staring out the window above the control deck. Slowly, he turns towards the bridge.
In front of him are holograms images of twenty battleship commanders. One of these images, the commander of a ship that has just exploded, is quickly fading away. Another in the center is faded and continually disrupted by static.
However, a different hologram speaks. “... and that, Lord CHoW, was the last time the Potato appeared on any of our scopes. Considering the amount of damage we've sustained so far, they must have been destroyed.”
CHoW shook his head. “No, Captain, they're alive. I want every available ship to sweep the asteroid field until they are found.
The starship captains fade out one by one, then CHoW turns to Admiral McDonald.
“What is it, Admiral?” CHoW demands to know.
The admiral is scared; his face is as white as a sheet, which stands out against his big red nose. “The Emperor commands you make contact with him.”
CHoW sighs. “Very well... move the ship out of the asteroid field so we can send a clear signal.”
A few minutes later, the Dark Lord is alone in his chamber. A strange sound enters his room and a light begins to play across his black figure. He looks up and bows. A twelve-foot high hologram of the Galactic Emperor materializes in front of him. The Emperor's robes are dark and he wears a hood somewhat like Spoonobi's.
“What's up, dude?” CHoW asked casually.
“... There is a great disturbance in the Force.” Emperor Avatar replies.
“I have felt it.” CHoW replies.
“We have a new enemy – Kimi Cakeeater.” Emperor Avatar announces.
“... She's not really new. I mean, she blew up the Death Star last month.” CHoW pointed out.
Emperor Avatar paused and cleared his throat. “T-True... anyway, she could destroy us.”
CHoW shook his helmeted head. “She's just a girl. Spoonobi can no longer help her.”
The Emperor shakes his holographic head. “The Force is strong with her. She cannot be allowed to become a Jedi.”
CHoW paused, and then said: “If she could be turned, she would be a powerful ally.”
The Emperor paused. “Yes... yes, she would be a great asset. Is it possible?”
CHoW knees. “She will join us, or die.”
Standing outside the Potato is Han, alone. That is, until Chewvenger joins him outside.
“What are you doing out here?” He asked, raising a furry brow.
“There was a weird bat on the window.” Han replied, pointing to something on the ground. Chewvenger looked over to see a weird looking bat, dead on the ground.
“That's just... wrong.” Chewvenger blinked.
Han smirked. “Yeah, but I gave him the old blaster.” Just for the heck of it, he fired his blaster into the cavern wall. Suddenly the whole cave shook.
Chewvenger shook his head. “Why do you do things like that?”
Sama flushed. “Uh oh... I don't think... VENGER, get the Potato ready to go!”
The two ran back into the ship and into the control room. They took their seats so fast it made Rose, who had been sitting in the back of this room, dizzy. She looked over to them. “What happened?”
“We have to go.” Han replied. He took off and the Potato started flying down the cavern path. As they neared the exit, Rose gasped as she saw a long row of stalactites and stalagmites both closing in on each other.
“The cave is collapsing!” She exclaimed.
“This is no cave.” Chewvenger replied. She looked confused – until they flew out between the two rows and she looked back to see that the 'cave' had been the mouth of a giant space worm, and the rows of stalagmites had actually been teeth.
With Sporka watching from the ground, Kimi climbs up one of the many thick vines that grow in the swamp. Panting heavily, she continues the course -- climbing, flipping through the air,
jumping over roots, and racing in and out of the heavy ground fog.
Using the Force, Sporka talks to her in her mind. “Run! Yes. A Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger...fear...aggression. The dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Spoonobi's apprentice.”
Kimi knew who Sporka was talking about. “CHoW. Is the dark side stronger?”
Sporka shook his head on the ground, and in Kimi's mind he said: “No...no...no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.”
“But how am I to know the good side from the bad?” Kimi asked as she landed from the trees and stood next to Sporka.
Sporka replied: “You will know. When you are calm, at peace. Passive. A Jedi uses
the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.”
That statement prompted her to ask: “But tell me why I can't...”
He interrupted her. “No, no, there is no why. Nothing more will I
teach you today. Clear your mind of questions. Mmm. Mmmmmm.”
“Hey!” Taz2 yelled to them.
Kimi turns to see a huge, dead, black tree, its base surrounded by a few feet of water. Giant, twisted roots form a dark and sinister cave on one side. Kimi stares at the tree, trembling.
“I can feel it... There's something not right here.” Kimi said.
Sporka sits on a large root, poking his walking stick into the dirt.
Kimi shuddered. “I feel cold, death.”
“That place...is strong with the dark side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. In you must go.” Sporka told her.
“What's in there?” She asked.
Sporka, ever cryptic, replied: “Only what you take with you.”
Kimi looks warily between the tree and Sporka. She starts to strap on her weapon belt.
“Your weapons...you will not need them.” Sporka said just as she approached the cave.
Kimi gives the tree a long look, than shakes her head "no." Sporka shrugs. Kimi reaches up to brush aside some Hanging vines and enters the tree.
Kimi moves into the almost total darkness of the wet and slimy cave. The youth can barely make out the edge of the passage. Holding her lit saber before her, she sees a lizard crawling up the side of the cave and a snake wrapped around the branches of a tree. Kimi draws a deep breath, then pushes deeper into the cave. The space widens around her, but she feels that rather tHan sees it. Her sword casts the only light as she peers into the darkness. It is very quiet here.
Then, a loud hiss! Darth CHoW appears across the blackness, illuminated by his own just-ignited lightsaber.
Immediately, he charges Kimi, saber held high. He is upon the youth in seconds, but Kimi sidesteps perfectly and slashes at CHoW with her own sword.
CHoW is decapitated. His helmet-encased head flies from his shoulders as his body disappears into the darkness. The metallic banging of the helmet fills the cave as CHoW's head spins and bounces, smashes on the floor, and finally stops.
For an instant it rests on the floor, then it cracks vertically. The black helmet and breath mask fall away to reveal...Kimi's head.
Across the space, the standing Kimi gasps at the sight, wide-eyed in terror. The decapitated head fades away, as in a vision.
She stumbles out of the cave, shaking from what just happened. Sporka walks over to her. She, in a very nice way, asked what just happened.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?”
Sporka sighed. “Much training you still have.”
Meanwhile, in the Star Destroyer that belonged to CHoW; a new sight had entered the room. A man dressed in battle-worn armor, with a jet pack on his back and a large rifle in his Hands. He was Cojo Fett; the most feared Bounty Hunter in the galaxy.
“About time I show up.” He muttered.
“YO, FETT!” CHoW grinned as he walked over. “What's up, buddy? As much crazy stuff as happens in this, it's nice to see some things never cHange – we're still the bad guys!”
Fett nodded. “And the fourth wall is still being beaten to a pulp.”
“SIRS!” Admiral McDonald runs up to them. “We've spotted the Aluminum Potato!”
The Aluminum Potato soars out of the asteroid field, making haste away from the giant worm. As it flies, however, there is a sudden beeping on the control panel. The space pirates Han and Chewvenger look down at the controls and both groan at the reading.
“Let me guess; Imperial Star Destroyers?” Princess Rose said from her seat behind them.
Chewvenger blinked. “... Yeah. How'd you know?”
She pointed out the side window, where the massive triangular ship was visible.
“Oh.” Chewvenger sweatdropped. “Nice to see the early warning system we paid for is working.”
Several green blasts of laser explode around the Potato, causing the ship to lurch. A loud, sustained beeping noise comes from the controls. This one is warning them that the shields are now incredibly low. Han groans, but suddenly he stops. A odd look crosses his face, followed by a deranged smile.
“Venger, turn her around.” Sama orders.
“Say WHAT!?” Chewvenger had flown with Han long enough to expect stupid stunts, but this was a new height. “Turn around? As in, go TOWARDS the Star Destroyer?”
“You're going to attack them?” Rose asked, her eyes wide from sheer surprise.
The Potato banks, makes a steep, twisting turn. In the next moment it is racing toward the Star Destroyer, looking very small against the massive surface of the Imperial ship. As it moves across the surface of the Star Destroyer, the Potato bobs and weaves to avoid the numerous flak bursts.
The Potato turns again, this time heading right at the Destroyer's bridge. The Imperials stationed there are stunned to see the small spaceship racing right at them. Alarms go off everywhere. It looked like the Potato was sure to crash into them, but at the last second it veers off course and out of sight.
Back on Dagobah, Kimi's training is continuing. This time, instead of freaky visions in spooky trees, she is standing on the shore – on her head. There is enormous strain on her face as she stands on her Hands, trying to concentrate on the force enough to life two bowling ball sized rocks.
Sporka taps Kimi's leg with his walking staff and she lifts one Hand off the ground. Now a third rock is lifted into the air by her power. She is in total concentration, in need of absolute focus and quiet.
“MASTER KIMI! HUGE PROBLEMS!” Taz2 rolled onto the shore, making a lot of noise.
Naturally, Kimi lost her concentration – and her balance. She fell to the ground and the rocks landed in the mud nearby, causing a great splash of mud to fall on all three of them.
Kimi looks up, wipes some mud off her face, and glances to Taz2. She is about to say something out of anger when she realizes what Taz2 had been so excited about – her X-Wing has sunk into the swamp even further, so much so that only the very tip of one of the wings is visible.
“Oh, no! We'll never get it out now.” Kimi sighs, sitting down. “I'm stuck on this planet forever...”
“So certain, are you? Always with you it cannot be done... have you heard nothing I say?” Sporka walked over and stood between the two of them, leaning on his staff.
“Master, moving stones around is one thing. This is totally different.” Kimi replied.
“No! No different! Only different in your mind. You must use what you have learned.” Sporka demanded, pointing his stick at the bog where the X-Wing has sunk.
Kimi sighs and stands up. “All right. I'll give it a try.”
“No!” Sporka shakes his head. “Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.”
Taking his advice, even if she didn't really believe it, Kimi steps down to the shore. She closes her eyes and focuses on the X-Wing. For a moment, there is nothing – then, slowly, the nose of the ship lifts out of the water.
“Whoa! It's working!” Taz2 exclaimed loudly. Kimi starts to pant, then she falls back and the ship sinks back down to the bottom.
“I can't. It's too big.” Kimi shakes her head. “It's a freaking spaceship!”
Sporka sighs and closes his eyes. “Do it again.” He says.
Kimi shakes her head and stands up. “There's no point.” She starts to walk away. As she does, Sporka puts down his cane and lifts his Hands. All at once, Kimi spins around when she hears Taz2 gasp excitedly.
What she sees makes her mouth drop. The X-Wing rises out of the swamp, moves a few feet, and sits down on the shoreline. Sporka lowers his Hand and picks up his walking stick, turning to Kimi.
“I... I don't believe it.” Kimi gasps.
“That is why you fail.” The Jedi Master replied.
CHoW is standing on the bridge of his mighty Star Destroyer. He is approached by Admiral McDonald, who looks frightened.
“Sire... we have lost the Aluminum Potato.” McDonald managed to sputter.
CHoW sighs. “You know... that doesn't surprise me. Alright. Let's get out of here. I have a bingo game with the Emperor to get to.”
As the Star Destroyer prepares to make the jump into hyperspace, it dumps all of it's trash from a compartment on the side. Attached to the side of the Destroyer, just above the trash shoot, is none other tHan the Aluminum Potato. As the trash is dumped, the Potato releases it's grappling system and floats away with the trash until the Destroyer makes it's jump into Hyperspace.
Inside the control room, Han is leaning back in his chair, while Chewvenger is going over something on the computer.
“We need a safe port to land at.” Chewvenger muttered. “... Anoat System?”
“There's not much there.” Rose commented. “Not sure we could find someplace.”
“Hang on... this is interesting.” Chewvenger spotted something. “Joha.”
Han sat up in his chair. Rose blinked. “The Joha System?”
“Joha's not a system, she's a person. Joha Calrissian. She's a gambler, scoundrel. Old friend of our's.” Chewvenger stated.
Han grinned. “Alright then! I'm sure she'd help us!”
Chewvenger didn't look quite as enthusiastic. “Yeah, why wouldn't she? It's not like one of us 'borrowed' her spaceship four and a half years ago and 'forgot' to return it.”
Rose sighed and looked to the Captain. Sama rubbed the back of his head. “I'm sure she's forgotten all about that.”
“We're IN her ship now.” Chewvenger reminded him. “This is the ship you stol--”
“BORROWED.” Han corrected him loudly. “Anyway, Joha will be so happy to see the ship, she'll forget all about hurting us.”
The Princess leaned her head on one Hand. “I have a feeling that this will end badly.”
In the clearing behind Sporka's house, Kimi is again standing upside down, but her face is less strained now tHan it was before. Not far away, two small boxes lift up into the air with ease, followed by a large rock and then a piece of a tree.
Taz2 claps her Hands excitedly inside her robot shell. A second later, she too is lifted into the air. Out of fear that Kimi will lose concentration again, she sits back inside the droid body and slams the lid shut.
Sporka is standing in the middle of all the floating things (and people), looking amused. “Yes... Good! Feel the Force flowing through you. Things will you see. Other places. The future. Old friends long gone.”
Suddenly, Kimi becomes distressed. “Han! Rose!”
Everything she had lifted falls to the ground with a clank and a thud; Taz2 struggles to get back to a standing position and then opens the lid again, looking disheveled.
“Control. You must learn control.” Sporka tells Kimi.
Kimi shakes her head. “I saw... I saw a city in the clouds.”
Sporka nods. “Mmm. Friends you have there.”
Kimi looks frantic. “They were in pain.”
Sporka nods once more. “It is the future you see.”
Kimi gasped. “Future? ... Will they die?”
The old Jedi pauses and looks down. “Difficult to see. Always in motion the future is.”
Kimi stands up. “I've got to go to them.”
As she makes a move for her X-Wing, Sporka speaks once more. “Decide you must how to serve them best. If you leave now, save them you could... but you would destroy all for which they have fought and suffered.”
Kimi is stopped cold. Gloom shrouds her as she nods her head sadly.
GoldenSama - February 2, 2008 03:52 AM (GMT)
Bespin is a gaseous planet with huge billowing clouds. In the middle of the gases is the floating Cloud City. The Potato is suddenly flanked on both sides by red ships that are two pods connected by a thin wing. The odd pod ships lead the Potato towards a landing pad, where it touches down.
From the opposite end of the landing pad, a door opens and several men come walking out, all well-armed. In the middle is a woman in blue with a cape. She steps forward to the lead, followed closely by her armed escorts.
The Potato's landing ramp opens and slowly Han steps out. Behind him follows Chewvenger and the Princess; with Bender coming out at the rear.
Glancing over at the woman in blue, Han takes notice of the grim look on her face.
“Venger, keep your eyes open, okay?”
Chewvenger shakes his head as Han walks down the ramp. Joha and her guards head across the bridge to meet the space pirate.
“Why you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler! You have a lot of nerve coming here after you stole my ship!” Joha yelled loudly.
“BORROWED!” Han replied at once. “I borrowed your ship. With every intention of bringing it back.”
“But you DIDN'T!” She shouted.
“... It's back now.” Han pointed out.
Joha narrowed her eyes. “So, I can have it back?”
Han laughed. “What? No! No, no, no, nooooo. I'm just saying, it is back.”
There was a pause, and for it minute it seemed like she might strike him with some gigantic eating utensil. Instead, however, she started to laugh. “You're still an idiot you old pirate! Nice to see you again; still flying with old Venger?”
Chewvenger shook his head. “Well, she's not killing us. I guess that's good.” He stepped forward. “Hey Joha! How are you?”
Joha blinked. “Venger? ... You got fuzzy.”
Chewvenger laughed and shook his head. Joha shrugged, decided it was better not to ask. “Well, come on, everyone. You can all come inside and I'll have my men repair the ship.”
Han turned to the others and grinned. “See? What I tell you. My friends always come through.”
Bender rolled his eyes. “Well, she seems nice.”
“Yeah... real nice.” Rose was still a bit wary.
A few minutes later, they were all inside. Walking through a narrow corridor. While the main group walked ahead, Bender was lagging behind, stealing whatever he could off the walls.
“How's the gas mine paying off for you?” Han asked.
“Oh, not as well as I'd like. We're a small outpost and completely self-sufficient. And I've had supply problems of every kind. Labor difficulties and...” Joha looked over at Han to see him grinning. “What's so funny?”
Han shook his head. “Listen to you – you sound like a leader. Who'd have thought that?”
Joha shook her head. “That's the price to pay for being successful.” She paused a moment, as if something was troubling her. “The lives of everyone here are in my Hands. Sometimes it takes ugly things to keep this place running.”
Han nodded. “Yeah, I've heard that lesson before.”
The two old friends laugh as the group moves on. This time, though, Bender doesn't follow. He's just spotted another bending robot walk by.
“Hey... Flexo?” Bender asked.
“E chu ta!” Flexo replied. “Ahahaha. I'm just kidding. You're not a flea on a wookie's backside. How you doing, Bender?”
The two walked into a side room.
“Eh, I'm okay I guess. Stuck with a bunch of humans.” Bender complained. He suddenly looked over to see a man in strange armor standing in the room. “Who the heck are you?”
“... Name's Fett.” Cojo Fett raised his blaster and fired.
Bender's body is blown apart, sending his parts and pieces flying across the room. His hand lands on the floor, mouth open in a grown, and a large, round plate falls right in his teeth.
“Aww, man! I'm biting my shiny metal ass!”
Back on Dagobah, the X-Wing is now loaded with Kimi's supplies and Taz2 is in place in her cubbyhole behind the control's nest. Sporka hobbles up to the ship in time to see Kimi climbing aboard.
“Stop! You must complete the training!” Sporka calls.
“I can't keep the vision out of my head.” Kimi sighs. “They're my friends, I've got to help them.”
Sporka sighs. “You must not go!”
“But Han and Rose will die if I don't!” Kimi replied desperately.
“You don't know that.”
Kimi is shocked and amazed to hear Spoonobi's voice. She spins around to see that Spoonobi is standing not far away.
“Even Sporka cannot see their fate.” Spoonobi said, his arms crossed.
“But I can help them! I can feel it!” Kimi replied. “I can feel the Force!”
“But you cannot control it. This is the time when you will be tempted by evil, by the Dark Side.” Spoonobi warned her.
“Yes, yes, to Obi-Wan you will listen! The cave. Remember the cave!” Sporka warned her.
“But I've learned a lot since then! I will return and finish what I've begun, you have my word!” Kimi begged.
“It is you and your abilities the Emperor wants. That is why your friends are made to suffer.” Spoonobi warned her.
“That's why I have to go.” Kimi turned away from them and into her X-Wing.
“Only a fully trained Jedi Knight can defeat CHoW.” Spoonobi warned her. “If you face CHoW now, you will do it alone. I can't interfere.”
“So what!? I should just stay here and let them die?” She yelled at them.
“... If you honor what they fight for... yes.” Sporka said grimly.
Kimi shook her head and hit a switch on her control panel. The lid closed and she took off, sailing into the skies. As she left, Spoonobi and Sporka sighed and shook their heads.
Within the quarters assigned her on Cloud City, Rose paces in agitation. She has changed from her cold-weather pants and jacket to a lovely dress. Her hair is down, tied back with ribbons. She moves from a large, open window and turns to see Han entering through the doorway.
“The ship is almost finished. Two or three more things and we're in great shape.” The smuggler grinned.
Rose wasn't too happy. “The sooner the better. Something's wrong here. No one has seen or knows anything about Bender. He's been gone too long to have gotten lost.
Han takes Rose by the shoulders and gently kisses her forehead. “Relax. I'll talk to Joha and see what I can find out.”
Rose frowned. “I don't trust Joha.”
Han laughed. “Well, I don't trust her, either. But she is my friend. Besides,
we'll soon be gone.”
“And then you're as good as gone, aren't you?” She asked quizzically.
Not speaking, Han considers her words and gazes at her troubled face.
The Junk Room of Cloud City is a gigantic facility full of various scraps, everything from tin cans to discarded robots. The door of this room swings open and in comes Chewvenger. The reason he left earlier was now clear – he heard something suspicious.
As he steps into the room, he accidentally kicks what feels like an old soup can.
“Ow! Watch your step, mammal!” An angry Bender responds.
“Bender? So this is where you disappeared too...” Chewvenger paused, noticing that only the robot's head was on the ground. “Where's the rest of you?”
“How should I know?” Bender replied rudely.
Chewvenger sighs. “Well, come on, I'll take what I can find of you back to Han and Rose.”
Chewvenger walks back into the living quarters a few minutes later, random pieces of Bender strapped to his back. Han instantly jumps out of his chair.
“What happened?” Rose asked.
“I found him in a junk pile.” Chewvenger replied.
“A Junk pile?” Han blinked.
“Think you can fix him, Venger?” Rose asked, watching as the co-pilot dropped the various pieces of Bender into a pile on the floor. He shrugged to her question.
“Joha's got people who can fix him.” Han suggested.
“No thanks.” Rose replied coolly.
Just then, there is a buzz and the door slides open, revealing Joha. “I'm sorry, am I interrupting anything?”
“Not really.” Rose replied.
Joha nodded. “Well, I just came to invite you all for some refreshments.”
Han raised an suspicious eyebrow. Chewvenger, however, dropped the pieces of Bender he was trying to reassemble and jumped up. “LUNCH! Let's go!”
The group moves towards the dining hall. Rose walks between Han and Joha as Venger follows a short distance behind. Long shafts of light pour across the corridor between tall, pure-white columns.
“We're a small operation. We don't fall under the jurisdiction of the Empire.” Joha explained.
“Then, you're part of the mining guild?” Rose asked.
“Er, no, not actually. Our operation is small enough not to be noticed... which is advantageous for everybody since our customers are anxious to avoid attracting attention to themselves.” Joha replied.
“I knew you were still a crook.” Han grinned.
The group heads into a new corridor and makes tracks for a huge doorway at the far end.
“Aren't you afraid the Empire's going to find out about this little operation and shut you down?” Han asked.
“That's always been a danger, looming like a shadow over everything we've built here. But things have developed that insure security. I've just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of here forever.”
Rose raised a skeptic eyebrow. Han was about to ask what miracle deal she could have made, that's when they arrived at the doors. They swung open to reveal a gigantic dining table – which already had two guests seated at it. One was a man in full battle armor with a jet pack – Cojo Fett.
The other stood as the group entered the room. Han's eyes widen as he recognizes Darth CHoW and quickly pulls his blaster, firing a few shots. CHoW raises his hand and deflects the laser with his glove. Just after Sama's third shot, CHoW pulls the gun to him by way of the Force.
“Well, well, well... the Princess who got away and the cowboy who shot my TIE down.” CHoW grinned. “Join us for lunch, won't you?”
Han rounded on Joha, glaring, looking angry enough to beat a lobster monster with his bare hands.
“I had no choice. They arrived right before you did.” Joha sighed, not looking at any of the group of refugees. “I'm sorry.”
In the skies over Cloud City, a sleek X-Wing flies in. It is piloted by Kimi Cakeeater, who has come to rescue her friends. Her face is filled with worry.
“Do you think they're okay?” Taz2 asked through the comlink.
“I can't tell.” Kimi replied. “But I'm sure they'll be fine.”
Just outside a holding chamber, Darth CHoW, Cojo Fett and Joha stand. Joha is on the outskirts of the group, both from guilt and from fear.
A loud scream echoes through the room – just beyond the door, Han Sama is being tortured by a pair of Stormtroopers.
“You may take Captain Sama to the Hutts as soon as I have Cakeeater.” CHoW told the Bounty Hunter.
“He's not good to me dead.” Cojo Fett replied as another loud scream fills the hall.
“Eh, he won't be permanently damaged.” CHoW shrugged.
“Lord CHoW, what about Rose and Chewvenger?” Joha asked, working up her courage.
CHoW paused. “They must never again leave this city.”
Joha is outraged, she is visibly shaking. “That was never part of our agreement, nor was giving Han to this bounty hunter!”
CHoW rounded on her and crossed his arms. “If you think you're being treated unfairly... perhaps I should have the Empire take a look at this mining operation.”
Joha sighs. Although she wants to help the rebels, her loyalty remains with the people under her charge. “No.”
“Good.” CHoW replies. He turned and heads into an elevator, followed by Cojo Fett. Joha walks down another corridor, muttering to herself.
“This deal's getting worse all the time.” She sighs.
A little while later, in another room, CHoW, Fett and Joha are standing atop a large platform. In the middle is a deep hole filled with pipes and chemical tanks.
“This facility is crude... but it should be adequate to freeze Cakeeater for her journey to the emperor.”
All at once, Admiral McDonald enters the room. “Lord CHoW, a X-Wing has just landed.”
CHoW grins. “Excellent. Monitor Cakeeater. Make sure she finds her way to THIS room.”
Joha shakes her head. “CHoW, we only use this facility for carbon freezing supplies. If you put her in there, it might kill her.”
CHoW pauses and looks to Fett for a moment. “Emperor Avatar would be mad if she died... we will test the freezing process first. On Captain Sama.”
Joha slaps herself in the forehead. “Me and my big mouth...”
On the landing platform, Kimi and Taz2 exit the X-Wing slowly, carefully. The Jedi Apprentice and Droid-Girl look around for any sign of guards or security systems... and find none.
“That's not suspicious.” Kimi sighs sarcastically.
There is great activity on the carbon-freezing platform. A technician is busy preparing a special coffin-like container.
With Cojo Fett standing as their leader, six Stormtroopers are standing around the prisoners. Han, Rose and Chewvenger. On Chewvenger's back, the broken Bender has been repaired so that he is fully built all but his legs; which are still broken and are being kept inside his chest with Harrison Ford's head jar.
Joha walks over to the group and sighs.
“What's going on, buddy?” Han asks, a mixture of sarcasm and anger in his voice.
“They're going to carbon freeze you.” Joha sighs.
Cojo Fett coughs. “What if he dies?”
CHoW walks over and shrugs. “Then I'll pay you instead of the Hutts.”
Realizing what is about to happen, Chewvenger dashes forward and punches out one of the guards. The other stormtroopers surround him and subdue him; Fett raises his rifle.
“Stop it Venger.” Han yells over the commotion, which causes his friend to resist the struggle. “Just knock it off, alright?”
Chewvenger gives him a pleading look. “Yeah, but... come on!”
“Hey. Save your strength. They'll be another time. Besides – Rose. Take care of her. You have to take care of her.” Han flashed a grin to his furry comrade, pretending that he wasn't as worried as he really was.
The guards throw a pair of binders over Chewvenger's hands, just in case he changes his mind. Cojo Fett grabs Han and moves him over to the platform, strapping him onto the lift. Rose steps forward, though the stormtroopers keep her back away from the platform.
“I love you.”
“I know.”
Suddenly there is a loud crack and the platform lowers down into the pit. A fiery liquid pours into the chamber and causes a thick white smoke to rise. Chewvenger grunts in anger and punches the wall hard enough to crack it. Rose turns her teary face away.
“Alright! One last meatbag!” Bender cheers. Chewvenger punches his head, causing it to fly across the room.
A huge mechanical tong lifts a steaming squad of metal out of the pit. The face and hands of the space pirate are visible inside the gigantic block of frozen carbon. It is thrown over on the side, and Joha runs over to the coffin like structure, checking a few blinking lights.
“Well? Did he survive?” CHoW asked, only half-interested.
“Yes. He's alive.” Joha responds.
“Alrighty then! Fett, you can have him. Best of luck to the Hutts. Rest the chamber for Cakeeater, and take the rest of those idiots to my ship.” CHoW ordered.
“What!?” Joha spun around. “You said the Princess and Chewvenger would stay here!”
CHoW laughed. “HA! And you believed me? I'm a evil, cynical, manic-depressed madman. Hahah... you're funny. I might not kill you. MIGHT NOT.”
Joha sighs and shields her head in her hands, realizing this was all a very big mistake.
As Kimi and Taz2 move carefully down a deserted corridor, they hear a group of people coming down a side hallway.
Cojo Fett enters from a side hallway followed by two guards pushing the floating, encased body of Han Sama. Two stormtroopers, who follow, immediately spot Kimi and open fire on her. The youth draws her weapon and blasts the two troopers before they can get off a second shot. The two guards whisk Han into another hallway as Fett lowers his arm and fires a deadly laser at Kimi, which explodes to one side and tears up a huge chunk of wall.
Kimi rushes to a side hallway, but by the time she reaches it, Fett, Han, and the guards are gone. A think metal door blocks the passage. Kimi turns to see Rose, Chewie, Bender, and Joha being herded down a second hallway by several other stormtroopers. Rose turns just in time to see Kimi.
“Kimi! Kimi, don't -- it's a trap! It's a trap!” Rose yelled.
Before she can finish, she is pulled through a doorway and disappears from sight. Kimi races after the group, leaving little Taz2 trailing behind.
Kimi tried valiantly to find her friends, but instead wound up in a different room, having taking a wrong turn. Thick stream fills the air and as she looks around she spots a dark, looming figure standing on a high platform.
“What's up, Cakeeater? Heh... been a while. I almost took you down on the Death Star, but that stupid smuggler got in my way. Well, now he's gone... and this time, you're mine.”
CHoW stepped out of the shadows, his red sword of light ignited and burning in the darkness. Kimi clicks on her blue lightsaber and charges forward. Kimi lunges at him and slashes; but his blade blocks her weapon.
Rose, Joha and Chewvenger, with Bender on his back, march along a corridor still guarded by stormtroopers. Suddenly several of Joha's guards march in and aim their guns at the stormtroopers. They're too shocked to defend themselves, and their guns are taken. The stormtroopers are lead away down an opposite corridor and Joha turns to the rebels.
“Time to get out of here.” Joha said to them with a grin.
Quickly Chewvenger wraps his hands around her throat and starts to squeeze.
“You think we're going to trust you after what you did to Han?” Rose asked, narrowing her eyes.
“I... had... no... choice!” Joha sputters, trying to breathe.
“I say we trust her. Anyone who sells out a old friend isn't half bad in my book.” Bender nodded.
“I'm... just... trying to... help!” Joha gasped.
“We don't need your help.” Rose growled, crossing her arms.
“H-a-a-a...” Joha's having a harder time speaking.
'What?” Rose blinks.
“Sounds like Han.” Chewvenger blinked. He released her throat and she fell to her knees, coughing.
“If you hurry... the platform where the bounty hunter is going... you might be able to save him.” Joha managed to say.
Grabbing guns from Joha's guards, Rose and Chewvenger tear off down the hallway. Joha struggles to her feet, takes a gun for herself, and follows behind them.
As they run into the city, they go right past Taz2. “Whoa! Hey, wait up!” She rolls after them quickly.
The group rushes out a door onto a platform. There they see two stormtroopers tossing the block of ice that is Han into the cargo hold of a tall spaceship. Rose and Chewvenger open fire, killing the two troopers.
Unfortunately, Cojo Fett, from his ship's control room, hits a switch and two laser cannons on the side of the ship blaze out at the platform. There is a bright explosion and in the confusion, Fett jettisons away from Cloud City.
Kimi and CHoW are locked in combat on the platform overlooking the carbon-freezing chamber. Their swords clash, the platform sways. Kimi aggressively drives CHoW back, forcing CHoW to use defensive tactics.
“You've gotten GOOD at this.” CHoW grinned.
“You'll find I'm full of surprises!” Kimi yelled back.
CHoW makes two quick moves, hooking Kimi's sword out of her hand and sending it flying. Another lightning move at Kimi's feet forces the youth to jump back to protect herself. Losing her balance, Kimi rolls down the stairs to the circular carbon-freezing platform. There she sprawls on the floor, surprised and shaken. Just in time she looks up to see CHoW, like a giant black bird, flying right at her. Kimi rolls away as CHoW lands. Crouching, Kimi keeps her gaze steadily on her enemy.
CHoW laughed. “Your destiny lies with me, Cakeeater. Spoonobi knew this to be
true.”
“No!”
Behind Kimi the hydraulic elevator cover has opened noiselessly. All the while, Kimi slowly, cautiously moves back, away from the Dark Lord. Suddenly, CHoW attacks so forcefully that Kimi loses her balance and falls back into the opening. There is a rumble, and in an instant freezing steam rises to obscure ChoW's vision. CHoW turns aside and deactivates his sword.
CHoW did a small victory dance. “WAY too easy. I told Emperor Avatar you were a waste of time.”
Through the steam behind CHoW something blurs upward. Liquid metal begins to pour into the pit.
CHoW turns around -- and then looks up. He sees Kimi, who has leaped fifteen feet straight up and who now hangs from some hoses on the carbonite outlet.
“... That's impressive.”
Kimi jumps down to the platform where she is separated from CHoW by the steaming carbonite pit. She raises her hand. Her sword, which had fallen on another part of the platform, swiftly jumps into her outstretched hand and is instantly ignited. CHoW immediately lights his sword as well.
“Spoonobi has taught you well. You have controlled your fear...now release your anger.” CHoW was getting serious – scarily serious.
Kimi is more cautious, controlling her anger. She begins to retreat as CHoW goads her on. As Kimi takes a defensive position, she realizes she has been foolhardy. A quick sword
exchange and Kimi forces CHoW back. Another exchange and CHoW retreats. Kimi presses forward.
“Only your hatred can destroy me.” CHoW was like a whole other person. He was not casual and relaxed, joking and insulting... instead he was serious, all nonsense filtered out.
Breathing hard, Kimi jumps in the air, turning a somersault over CHoW. She lands on the floor and slashes at CHoW as the room continues to fill up with steam. CHoW retreats before Kimi's skillful sword. CHoW blocks the sword, but looses his balance and falls into the outer rim of pipes. The energy Kimi has used to stop CHoW has brought her to the point of collapse. Kimi moves to the edge and looks down, but sees no sign of CHoW. She then deactivates her sword, hooks it on her belt, and lowers herself into the pit.
Kimi finds herself on a narrow platform over a deep, dark pit. The walls are metal and gray and there is no sign of her enemy. She carefully looks around in every direction to see if she can find CHoW, but there is nothing.
She continues walking down the thin platform until she spots a black figure ahead of her. His cape twirls in the wind gloomily, and then a bright red blade of light shoots from his hand. His lightsaber now active, CHoW turns around to face her.
“You are beaten. It is useless to resist. Don't let yourself be destroyed as Spoonobi did.” CHoW warned her.
Kimi answers by running forward and thrusting her sword so viciously it nicks CHoW in the shoulder. The black armor sparks and smoke and CHoW seems to be hurt, but immediately recovers. He slashes back at her and pushes Kimi back along the narrow end of the gantry.
Their swords clash apart again and the result is a piece of the platform being cut away. The railing falls down into the pit below, billowing in the wind. As Kimi watches it, distracted for a moment, CHoW strikes!
Kimi cries out in pain as her lightsaber – and the hand that had been holding it – tumbles into the darkness of the pit. She huddles against the side of the post and clutches her wrist to her chest. There is no blood thanks to the burn of the lightsaber. She crawls along the other side of the tall pipe, keeping it between her and CHoW.
“There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. You have only begun to discover what powers you have. Join me and I will complete your training. With our combined strength we can end this destructive war and bring order to the galaxy.” CHoW begged.
“I'll never join you!” Kimi spat.
CHoW paused, getting an idea. “... If only you knew the power of the Dark Side... Spoonobi never told you what happened to your father.”
Kimi growled. “He told me enough! He told me you killed him!”
CHoW shakes his head. “No. I am your father.”
Kimi blinked. “What? How is that even possible?”
CHoW shook his head. “Don't argue with your father, young missy! Just for that, no dessert!”
Kimi yelled out. “NOOOOOOO!”
CHoW laughed. “Join me! You can destroy the Emperor, he has foreseen it! Join me and we can rule the galaxy as father and daughter!”
Kimi pauses and a calm comes over her. She realizes there is only one option left for her. So, she stands up and takes a step – right off the ledge of the platform. She falls down into the pit, disappeared from view.
CHoW sighs. “... Huh. She'd rather die than spend time with me... is this because I killed your mother?” He calls after her.
Kimi tumbles down a series of long tubes and pipes until finally she falls out the bottom of Cloud City. She grabs onto a weather vane, but slips down. She can hardly hold on, but struggles to do so.
“Spoon... Spoon! Help me!” She yells.
The Aluminum Potato is flying away from Cloud City, hot on the tail of the bounty hunter. Rose is sitting in the co-pilot chair, her expression troubled. Suddenly she looks up, hearing Kimi's voice in her mind.
“Kimi...? We have to go back!” She yelled.
“What?” Joha, who was sitting behind her, blinked.
“I know where Kimi is.” Rose replied at once.
“What about CHoW? He'll kill us all!” Joha protests.
“You don't get a say till the next sequel.” Chewvenger replied, still bitter. He spun the controls around, and the Potato-shaped ship spun around and flew towards Cloud City once more.
As the Potato flies beneath Cloud City, Joha points out the window. “Look! Someone's there, on the weather vane!”
“It's Kimi!” Rose gasped. “Venger, slow down! We'll get under her and let her in. Joha, go open the top hatch!”
The Potato closes in on Kimi and the hatch opens. Rose helps Kimi into the ship and then it takes off, the hatch closing as they zoom away from the City once more.
Seconds later, TIE Fighters follow after them, firing emerald lasers. They explode on the sides of the ship, but inside the control room Joha takes Han's usual seat and throws a switch.
All at once the ship breaks into lightspeed and leaves Cloud City, the TIEs and CHoW behind.
Two days later, the Aluminum Potato is attached to a gigantic rebel cruiser by a docking tube. Rebel fighters move about the gigantic transport ship as the entire fleet hovers nearby it.
Kimi is sitting in a hospital bed as a droid works to build her a new hand. The door opens and in walks Princess Rose, looking concern.
“How are you holding up?” She asked.
“Eh, I'll be okay.” Kimi replied, watching the robot prod her new fingers with a needle to make sure they have feeling. She looks to the Princess quizzically. “How about you?”
Rose shrugs. “I'm... fine.”
Kimi sits up in the bed. “Did Chewvenger and Joha leave already?”
Rose nodded. “They're about to. Thought you'd want to watch them leave.”
Kimi nods a yes in response and the princess crosses the room and opens the curtains on the enormous window. Outside, in space, the Aluminum Potato breaks away from the docking tube.
Chewvenger's voice echoes through the room from Kimi's comlink, lying on the table by her bed.
“Kimi. Princess. Relax, we'll find Han and get back to you as soon as possible.”
Suddenly the Potato floats up and launches into space – moving into hyperdrive and disappearing before their eyes into the deep, blackness of space.
THE END
From the opposite end of the landing pad, a door opens and several men come walking out, all well-armed. In the middle is a woman in blue with a cape. She steps forward to the lead, followed closely by her armed escorts.
The Potato's landing ramp opens and slowly Han steps out. Behind him follows Chewvenger and the Princess; with Bender coming out at the rear.
Glancing over at the woman in blue, Han takes notice of the grim look on her face.
“Venger, keep your eyes open, okay?”
Chewvenger shakes his head as Han walks down the ramp. Joha and her guards head across the bridge to meet the space pirate.
“Why you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler! You have a lot of nerve coming here after you stole my ship!” Joha yelled loudly.
“BORROWED!” Han replied at once. “I borrowed your ship. With every intention of bringing it back.”
“But you DIDN'T!” She shouted.
“... It's back now.” Han pointed out.
Joha narrowed her eyes. “So, I can have it back?”
Han laughed. “What? No! No, no, no, nooooo. I'm just saying, it is back.”
There was a pause, and for it minute it seemed like she might strike him with some gigantic eating utensil. Instead, however, she started to laugh. “You're still an idiot you old pirate! Nice to see you again; still flying with old Venger?”
Chewvenger shook his head. “Well, she's not killing us. I guess that's good.” He stepped forward. “Hey Joha! How are you?”
Joha blinked. “Venger? ... You got fuzzy.”
Chewvenger laughed and shook his head. Joha shrugged, decided it was better not to ask. “Well, come on, everyone. You can all come inside and I'll have my men repair the ship.”
Han turned to the others and grinned. “See? What I tell you. My friends always come through.”
Bender rolled his eyes. “Well, she seems nice.”
“Yeah... real nice.” Rose was still a bit wary.
A few minutes later, they were all inside. Walking through a narrow corridor. While the main group walked ahead, Bender was lagging behind, stealing whatever he could off the walls.
“How's the gas mine paying off for you?” Han asked.
“Oh, not as well as I'd like. We're a small outpost and completely self-sufficient. And I've had supply problems of every kind. Labor difficulties and...” Joha looked over at Han to see him grinning. “What's so funny?”
Han shook his head. “Listen to you – you sound like a leader. Who'd have thought that?”
Joha shook her head. “That's the price to pay for being successful.” She paused a moment, as if something was troubling her. “The lives of everyone here are in my Hands. Sometimes it takes ugly things to keep this place running.”
Han nodded. “Yeah, I've heard that lesson before.”
The two old friends laugh as the group moves on. This time, though, Bender doesn't follow. He's just spotted another bending robot walk by.
“Hey... Flexo?” Bender asked.
“E chu ta!” Flexo replied. “Ahahaha. I'm just kidding. You're not a flea on a wookie's backside. How you doing, Bender?”
The two walked into a side room.
“Eh, I'm okay I guess. Stuck with a bunch of humans.” Bender complained. He suddenly looked over to see a man in strange armor standing in the room. “Who the heck are you?”
“... Name's Fett.” Cojo Fett raised his blaster and fired.
Bender's body is blown apart, sending his parts and pieces flying across the room. His hand lands on the floor, mouth open in a grown, and a large, round plate falls right in his teeth.
“Aww, man! I'm biting my shiny metal ass!”
Back on Dagobah, the X-Wing is now loaded with Kimi's supplies and Taz2 is in place in her cubbyhole behind the control's nest. Sporka hobbles up to the ship in time to see Kimi climbing aboard.
“Stop! You must complete the training!” Sporka calls.
“I can't keep the vision out of my head.” Kimi sighs. “They're my friends, I've got to help them.”
Sporka sighs. “You must not go!”
“But Han and Rose will die if I don't!” Kimi replied desperately.
“You don't know that.”
Kimi is shocked and amazed to hear Spoonobi's voice. She spins around to see that Spoonobi is standing not far away.
“Even Sporka cannot see their fate.” Spoonobi said, his arms crossed.
“But I can help them! I can feel it!” Kimi replied. “I can feel the Force!”
“But you cannot control it. This is the time when you will be tempted by evil, by the Dark Side.” Spoonobi warned her.
“Yes, yes, to Obi-Wan you will listen! The cave. Remember the cave!” Sporka warned her.
“But I've learned a lot since then! I will return and finish what I've begun, you have my word!” Kimi begged.
“It is you and your abilities the Emperor wants. That is why your friends are made to suffer.” Spoonobi warned her.
“That's why I have to go.” Kimi turned away from them and into her X-Wing.
“Only a fully trained Jedi Knight can defeat CHoW.” Spoonobi warned her. “If you face CHoW now, you will do it alone. I can't interfere.”
“So what!? I should just stay here and let them die?” She yelled at them.
“... If you honor what they fight for... yes.” Sporka said grimly.
Kimi shook her head and hit a switch on her control panel. The lid closed and she took off, sailing into the skies. As she left, Spoonobi and Sporka sighed and shook their heads.
Within the quarters assigned her on Cloud City, Rose paces in agitation. She has changed from her cold-weather pants and jacket to a lovely dress. Her hair is down, tied back with ribbons. She moves from a large, open window and turns to see Han entering through the doorway.
“The ship is almost finished. Two or three more things and we're in great shape.” The smuggler grinned.
Rose wasn't too happy. “The sooner the better. Something's wrong here. No one has seen or knows anything about Bender. He's been gone too long to have gotten lost.
Han takes Rose by the shoulders and gently kisses her forehead. “Relax. I'll talk to Joha and see what I can find out.”
Rose frowned. “I don't trust Joha.”
Han laughed. “Well, I don't trust her, either. But she is my friend. Besides,
we'll soon be gone.”
“And then you're as good as gone, aren't you?” She asked quizzically.
Not speaking, Han considers her words and gazes at her troubled face.
The Junk Room of Cloud City is a gigantic facility full of various scraps, everything from tin cans to discarded robots. The door of this room swings open and in comes Chewvenger. The reason he left earlier was now clear – he heard something suspicious.
As he steps into the room, he accidentally kicks what feels like an old soup can.
“Ow! Watch your step, mammal!” An angry Bender responds.
“Bender? So this is where you disappeared too...” Chewvenger paused, noticing that only the robot's head was on the ground. “Where's the rest of you?”
“How should I know?” Bender replied rudely.
Chewvenger sighs. “Well, come on, I'll take what I can find of you back to Han and Rose.”
Chewvenger walks back into the living quarters a few minutes later, random pieces of Bender strapped to his back. Han instantly jumps out of his chair.
“What happened?” Rose asked.
“I found him in a junk pile.” Chewvenger replied.
“A Junk pile?” Han blinked.
“Think you can fix him, Venger?” Rose asked, watching as the co-pilot dropped the various pieces of Bender into a pile on the floor. He shrugged to her question.
“Joha's got people who can fix him.” Han suggested.
“No thanks.” Rose replied coolly.
Just then, there is a buzz and the door slides open, revealing Joha. “I'm sorry, am I interrupting anything?”
“Not really.” Rose replied.
Joha nodded. “Well, I just came to invite you all for some refreshments.”
Han raised an suspicious eyebrow. Chewvenger, however, dropped the pieces of Bender he was trying to reassemble and jumped up. “LUNCH! Let's go!”
The group moves towards the dining hall. Rose walks between Han and Joha as Venger follows a short distance behind. Long shafts of light pour across the corridor between tall, pure-white columns.
“We're a small operation. We don't fall under the jurisdiction of the Empire.” Joha explained.
“Then, you're part of the mining guild?” Rose asked.
“Er, no, not actually. Our operation is small enough not to be noticed... which is advantageous for everybody since our customers are anxious to avoid attracting attention to themselves.” Joha replied.
“I knew you were still a crook.” Han grinned.
The group heads into a new corridor and makes tracks for a huge doorway at the far end.
“Aren't you afraid the Empire's going to find out about this little operation and shut you down?” Han asked.
“That's always been a danger, looming like a shadow over everything we've built here. But things have developed that insure security. I've just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of here forever.”
Rose raised a skeptic eyebrow. Han was about to ask what miracle deal she could have made, that's when they arrived at the doors. They swung open to reveal a gigantic dining table – which already had two guests seated at it. One was a man in full battle armor with a jet pack – Cojo Fett.
The other stood as the group entered the room. Han's eyes widen as he recognizes Darth CHoW and quickly pulls his blaster, firing a few shots. CHoW raises his hand and deflects the laser with his glove. Just after Sama's third shot, CHoW pulls the gun to him by way of the Force.
“Well, well, well... the Princess who got away and the cowboy who shot my TIE down.” CHoW grinned. “Join us for lunch, won't you?”
Han rounded on Joha, glaring, looking angry enough to beat a lobster monster with his bare hands.
“I had no choice. They arrived right before you did.” Joha sighed, not looking at any of the group of refugees. “I'm sorry.”
In the skies over Cloud City, a sleek X-Wing flies in. It is piloted by Kimi Cakeeater, who has come to rescue her friends. Her face is filled with worry.
“Do you think they're okay?” Taz2 asked through the comlink.
“I can't tell.” Kimi replied. “But I'm sure they'll be fine.”
Just outside a holding chamber, Darth CHoW, Cojo Fett and Joha stand. Joha is on the outskirts of the group, both from guilt and from fear.
A loud scream echoes through the room – just beyond the door, Han Sama is being tortured by a pair of Stormtroopers.
“You may take Captain Sama to the Hutts as soon as I have Cakeeater.” CHoW told the Bounty Hunter.
“He's not good to me dead.” Cojo Fett replied as another loud scream fills the hall.
“Eh, he won't be permanently damaged.” CHoW shrugged.
“Lord CHoW, what about Rose and Chewvenger?” Joha asked, working up her courage.
CHoW paused. “They must never again leave this city.”
Joha is outraged, she is visibly shaking. “That was never part of our agreement, nor was giving Han to this bounty hunter!”
CHoW rounded on her and crossed his arms. “If you think you're being treated unfairly... perhaps I should have the Empire take a look at this mining operation.”
Joha sighs. Although she wants to help the rebels, her loyalty remains with the people under her charge. “No.”
“Good.” CHoW replies. He turned and heads into an elevator, followed by Cojo Fett. Joha walks down another corridor, muttering to herself.
“This deal's getting worse all the time.” She sighs.
A little while later, in another room, CHoW, Fett and Joha are standing atop a large platform. In the middle is a deep hole filled with pipes and chemical tanks.
“This facility is crude... but it should be adequate to freeze Cakeeater for her journey to the emperor.”
All at once, Admiral McDonald enters the room. “Lord CHoW, a X-Wing has just landed.”
CHoW grins. “Excellent. Monitor Cakeeater. Make sure she finds her way to THIS room.”
Joha shakes her head. “CHoW, we only use this facility for carbon freezing supplies. If you put her in there, it might kill her.”
CHoW pauses and looks to Fett for a moment. “Emperor Avatar would be mad if she died... we will test the freezing process first. On Captain Sama.”
Joha slaps herself in the forehead. “Me and my big mouth...”
On the landing platform, Kimi and Taz2 exit the X-Wing slowly, carefully. The Jedi Apprentice and Droid-Girl look around for any sign of guards or security systems... and find none.
“That's not suspicious.” Kimi sighs sarcastically.
There is great activity on the carbon-freezing platform. A technician is busy preparing a special coffin-like container.
With Cojo Fett standing as their leader, six Stormtroopers are standing around the prisoners. Han, Rose and Chewvenger. On Chewvenger's back, the broken Bender has been repaired so that he is fully built all but his legs; which are still broken and are being kept inside his chest with Harrison Ford's head jar.
Joha walks over to the group and sighs.
“What's going on, buddy?” Han asks, a mixture of sarcasm and anger in his voice.
“They're going to carbon freeze you.” Joha sighs.
Cojo Fett coughs. “What if he dies?”
CHoW walks over and shrugs. “Then I'll pay you instead of the Hutts.”
Realizing what is about to happen, Chewvenger dashes forward and punches out one of the guards. The other stormtroopers surround him and subdue him; Fett raises his rifle.
“Stop it Venger.” Han yells over the commotion, which causes his friend to resist the struggle. “Just knock it off, alright?”
Chewvenger gives him a pleading look. “Yeah, but... come on!”
“Hey. Save your strength. They'll be another time. Besides – Rose. Take care of her. You have to take care of her.” Han flashed a grin to his furry comrade, pretending that he wasn't as worried as he really was.
The guards throw a pair of binders over Chewvenger's hands, just in case he changes his mind. Cojo Fett grabs Han and moves him over to the platform, strapping him onto the lift. Rose steps forward, though the stormtroopers keep her back away from the platform.
“I love you.”
“I know.”
Suddenly there is a loud crack and the platform lowers down into the pit. A fiery liquid pours into the chamber and causes a thick white smoke to rise. Chewvenger grunts in anger and punches the wall hard enough to crack it. Rose turns her teary face away.
“Alright! One last meatbag!” Bender cheers. Chewvenger punches his head, causing it to fly across the room.
A huge mechanical tong lifts a steaming squad of metal out of the pit. The face and hands of the space pirate are visible inside the gigantic block of frozen carbon. It is thrown over on the side, and Joha runs over to the coffin like structure, checking a few blinking lights.
“Well? Did he survive?” CHoW asked, only half-interested.
“Yes. He's alive.” Joha responds.
“Alrighty then! Fett, you can have him. Best of luck to the Hutts. Rest the chamber for Cakeeater, and take the rest of those idiots to my ship.” CHoW ordered.
“What!?” Joha spun around. “You said the Princess and Chewvenger would stay here!”
CHoW laughed. “HA! And you believed me? I'm a evil, cynical, manic-depressed madman. Hahah... you're funny. I might not kill you. MIGHT NOT.”
Joha sighs and shields her head in her hands, realizing this was all a very big mistake.
As Kimi and Taz2 move carefully down a deserted corridor, they hear a group of people coming down a side hallway.
Cojo Fett enters from a side hallway followed by two guards pushing the floating, encased body of Han Sama. Two stormtroopers, who follow, immediately spot Kimi and open fire on her. The youth draws her weapon and blasts the two troopers before they can get off a second shot. The two guards whisk Han into another hallway as Fett lowers his arm and fires a deadly laser at Kimi, which explodes to one side and tears up a huge chunk of wall.
Kimi rushes to a side hallway, but by the time she reaches it, Fett, Han, and the guards are gone. A think metal door blocks the passage. Kimi turns to see Rose, Chewie, Bender, and Joha being herded down a second hallway by several other stormtroopers. Rose turns just in time to see Kimi.
“Kimi! Kimi, don't -- it's a trap! It's a trap!” Rose yelled.
Before she can finish, she is pulled through a doorway and disappears from sight. Kimi races after the group, leaving little Taz2 trailing behind.
Kimi tried valiantly to find her friends, but instead wound up in a different room, having taking a wrong turn. Thick stream fills the air and as she looks around she spots a dark, looming figure standing on a high platform.
“What's up, Cakeeater? Heh... been a while. I almost took you down on the Death Star, but that stupid smuggler got in my way. Well, now he's gone... and this time, you're mine.”
CHoW stepped out of the shadows, his red sword of light ignited and burning in the darkness. Kimi clicks on her blue lightsaber and charges forward. Kimi lunges at him and slashes; but his blade blocks her weapon.
Rose, Joha and Chewvenger, with Bender on his back, march along a corridor still guarded by stormtroopers. Suddenly several of Joha's guards march in and aim their guns at the stormtroopers. They're too shocked to defend themselves, and their guns are taken. The stormtroopers are lead away down an opposite corridor and Joha turns to the rebels.
“Time to get out of here.” Joha said to them with a grin.
Quickly Chewvenger wraps his hands around her throat and starts to squeeze.
“You think we're going to trust you after what you did to Han?” Rose asked, narrowing her eyes.
“I... had... no... choice!” Joha sputters, trying to breathe.
“I say we trust her. Anyone who sells out a old friend isn't half bad in my book.” Bender nodded.
“I'm... just... trying to... help!” Joha gasped.
“We don't need your help.” Rose growled, crossing her arms.
“H-a-a-a...” Joha's having a harder time speaking.
'What?” Rose blinks.
“Sounds like Han.” Chewvenger blinked. He released her throat and she fell to her knees, coughing.
“If you hurry... the platform where the bounty hunter is going... you might be able to save him.” Joha managed to say.
Grabbing guns from Joha's guards, Rose and Chewvenger tear off down the hallway. Joha struggles to her feet, takes a gun for herself, and follows behind them.
As they run into the city, they go right past Taz2. “Whoa! Hey, wait up!” She rolls after them quickly.
The group rushes out a door onto a platform. There they see two stormtroopers tossing the block of ice that is Han into the cargo hold of a tall spaceship. Rose and Chewvenger open fire, killing the two troopers.
Unfortunately, Cojo Fett, from his ship's control room, hits a switch and two laser cannons on the side of the ship blaze out at the platform. There is a bright explosion and in the confusion, Fett jettisons away from Cloud City.
Kimi and CHoW are locked in combat on the platform overlooking the carbon-freezing chamber. Their swords clash, the platform sways. Kimi aggressively drives CHoW back, forcing CHoW to use defensive tactics.
“You've gotten GOOD at this.” CHoW grinned.
“You'll find I'm full of surprises!” Kimi yelled back.
CHoW makes two quick moves, hooking Kimi's sword out of her hand and sending it flying. Another lightning move at Kimi's feet forces the youth to jump back to protect herself. Losing her balance, Kimi rolls down the stairs to the circular carbon-freezing platform. There she sprawls on the floor, surprised and shaken. Just in time she looks up to see CHoW, like a giant black bird, flying right at her. Kimi rolls away as CHoW lands. Crouching, Kimi keeps her gaze steadily on her enemy.
CHoW laughed. “Your destiny lies with me, Cakeeater. Spoonobi knew this to be
true.”
“No!”
Behind Kimi the hydraulic elevator cover has opened noiselessly. All the while, Kimi slowly, cautiously moves back, away from the Dark Lord. Suddenly, CHoW attacks so forcefully that Kimi loses her balance and falls back into the opening. There is a rumble, and in an instant freezing steam rises to obscure ChoW's vision. CHoW turns aside and deactivates his sword.
CHoW did a small victory dance. “WAY too easy. I told Emperor Avatar you were a waste of time.”
Through the steam behind CHoW something blurs upward. Liquid metal begins to pour into the pit.
CHoW turns around -- and then looks up. He sees Kimi, who has leaped fifteen feet straight up and who now hangs from some hoses on the carbonite outlet.
“... That's impressive.”
Kimi jumps down to the platform where she is separated from CHoW by the steaming carbonite pit. She raises her hand. Her sword, which had fallen on another part of the platform, swiftly jumps into her outstretched hand and is instantly ignited. CHoW immediately lights his sword as well.
“Spoonobi has taught you well. You have controlled your fear...now release your anger.” CHoW was getting serious – scarily serious.
Kimi is more cautious, controlling her anger. She begins to retreat as CHoW goads her on. As Kimi takes a defensive position, she realizes she has been foolhardy. A quick sword
exchange and Kimi forces CHoW back. Another exchange and CHoW retreats. Kimi presses forward.
“Only your hatred can destroy me.” CHoW was like a whole other person. He was not casual and relaxed, joking and insulting... instead he was serious, all nonsense filtered out.
Breathing hard, Kimi jumps in the air, turning a somersault over CHoW. She lands on the floor and slashes at CHoW as the room continues to fill up with steam. CHoW retreats before Kimi's skillful sword. CHoW blocks the sword, but looses his balance and falls into the outer rim of pipes. The energy Kimi has used to stop CHoW has brought her to the point of collapse. Kimi moves to the edge and looks down, but sees no sign of CHoW. She then deactivates her sword, hooks it on her belt, and lowers herself into the pit.
Kimi finds herself on a narrow platform over a deep, dark pit. The walls are metal and gray and there is no sign of her enemy. She carefully looks around in every direction to see if she can find CHoW, but there is nothing.
She continues walking down the thin platform until she spots a black figure ahead of her. His cape twirls in the wind gloomily, and then a bright red blade of light shoots from his hand. His lightsaber now active, CHoW turns around to face her.
“You are beaten. It is useless to resist. Don't let yourself be destroyed as Spoonobi did.” CHoW warned her.
Kimi answers by running forward and thrusting her sword so viciously it nicks CHoW in the shoulder. The black armor sparks and smoke and CHoW seems to be hurt, but immediately recovers. He slashes back at her and pushes Kimi back along the narrow end of the gantry.
Their swords clash apart again and the result is a piece of the platform being cut away. The railing falls down into the pit below, billowing in the wind. As Kimi watches it, distracted for a moment, CHoW strikes!
Kimi cries out in pain as her lightsaber – and the hand that had been holding it – tumbles into the darkness of the pit. She huddles against the side of the post and clutches her wrist to her chest. There is no blood thanks to the burn of the lightsaber. She crawls along the other side of the tall pipe, keeping it between her and CHoW.
“There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. You have only begun to discover what powers you have. Join me and I will complete your training. With our combined strength we can end this destructive war and bring order to the galaxy.” CHoW begged.
“I'll never join you!” Kimi spat.
CHoW paused, getting an idea. “... If only you knew the power of the Dark Side... Spoonobi never told you what happened to your father.”
Kimi growled. “He told me enough! He told me you killed him!”
CHoW shakes his head. “No. I am your father.”
Kimi blinked. “What? How is that even possible?”
CHoW shook his head. “Don't argue with your father, young missy! Just for that, no dessert!”
Kimi yelled out. “NOOOOOOO!”
CHoW laughed. “Join me! You can destroy the Emperor, he has foreseen it! Join me and we can rule the galaxy as father and daughter!”
Kimi pauses and a calm comes over her. She realizes there is only one option left for her. So, she stands up and takes a step – right off the ledge of the platform. She falls down into the pit, disappeared from view.
CHoW sighs. “... Huh. She'd rather die than spend time with me... is this because I killed your mother?” He calls after her.
Kimi tumbles down a series of long tubes and pipes until finally she falls out the bottom of Cloud City. She grabs onto a weather vane, but slips down. She can hardly hold on, but struggles to do so.
“Spoon... Spoon! Help me!” She yells.
The Aluminum Potato is flying away from Cloud City, hot on the tail of the bounty hunter. Rose is sitting in the co-pilot chair, her expression troubled. Suddenly she looks up, hearing Kimi's voice in her mind.
“Kimi...? We have to go back!” She yelled.
“What?” Joha, who was sitting behind her, blinked.
“I know where Kimi is.” Rose replied at once.
“What about CHoW? He'll kill us all!” Joha protests.
“You don't get a say till the next sequel.” Chewvenger replied, still bitter. He spun the controls around, and the Potato-shaped ship spun around and flew towards Cloud City once more.
As the Potato flies beneath Cloud City, Joha points out the window. “Look! Someone's there, on the weather vane!”
“It's Kimi!” Rose gasped. “Venger, slow down! We'll get under her and let her in. Joha, go open the top hatch!”
The Potato closes in on Kimi and the hatch opens. Rose helps Kimi into the ship and then it takes off, the hatch closing as they zoom away from the City once more.
Seconds later, TIE Fighters follow after them, firing emerald lasers. They explode on the sides of the ship, but inside the control room Joha takes Han's usual seat and throws a switch.
All at once the ship breaks into lightspeed and leaves Cloud City, the TIEs and CHoW behind.
Two days later, the Aluminum Potato is attached to a gigantic rebel cruiser by a docking tube. Rebel fighters move about the gigantic transport ship as the entire fleet hovers nearby it.
Kimi is sitting in a hospital bed as a droid works to build her a new hand. The door opens and in walks Princess Rose, looking concern.
“How are you holding up?” She asked.
“Eh, I'll be okay.” Kimi replied, watching the robot prod her new fingers with a needle to make sure they have feeling. She looks to the Princess quizzically. “How about you?”
Rose shrugs. “I'm... fine.”
Kimi sits up in the bed. “Did Chewvenger and Joha leave already?”
Rose nodded. “They're about to. Thought you'd want to watch them leave.”
Kimi nods a yes in response and the princess crosses the room and opens the curtains on the enormous window. Outside, in space, the Aluminum Potato breaks away from the docking tube.
Chewvenger's voice echoes through the room from Kimi's comlink, lying on the table by her bed.
“Kimi. Princess. Relax, we'll find Han and get back to you as soon as possible.”
Suddenly the Potato floats up and launches into space – moving into hyperdrive and disappearing before their eyes into the deep, blackness of space.
THE END
The Vidit of Light - February 2, 2008 05:06 AM (GMT)
First reply!
:D
Will review after reading the whole thing. :p
:D
Will review after reading the whole thing. :p
Avenger29 - February 2, 2008 05:16 AM (GMT)
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.
Unbelievable.
My fave parts? The bat, and of course, this.
"His feathers weren't the only ones ruffled anymore. She crossed her arms. “I'd just as soon kiss a wookie.”
As Han started to speak, Chewvenger jumped down from the scaffolding around the Potato. “Yo!” He said, with a grin on his face."
Brilliance.
The final sequel is so totally gonna own.
Unbelievable.
My fave parts? The bat, and of course, this.
"His feathers weren't the only ones ruffled anymore. She crossed her arms. “I'd just as soon kiss a wookie.”
As Han started to speak, Chewvenger jumped down from the scaffolding around the Potato. “Yo!” He said, with a grin on his face."
Brilliance.
The final sequel is so totally gonna own.
Dark Phazon - February 2, 2008 06:09 AM (GMT)
Interesting...
Can't wait for the last one, 'cause unlike just about everyone I've heard an opinion from, the third movie always was my favorite.
Oh, and Bender = :LOL:
Can't wait for the last one, 'cause unlike just about everyone I've heard an opinion from, the third movie always was my favorite.
Oh, and Bender = :LOL:
GoldenSama - February 2, 2008 06:14 AM (GMT)
TVoL: haha, when well you review, I'll reply! XD
Avenger: XD Thanks! I'm glad someone noticed the Bat. XD
DP: Bender is the awesomeness. XD Hopefully Jedi will rock! I'm going to try to make it amazing! I just don't know who to cast as the Ewoks...
Avenger: XD Thanks! I'm glad someone noticed the Bat. XD
DP: Bender is the awesomeness. XD Hopefully Jedi will rock! I'm going to try to make it amazing! I just don't know who to cast as the Ewoks...
Dark Phazon - February 2, 2008 06:26 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (GoldenSama @ Feb 2 2008, 01:14 AM) |
| I just don't know who to cast as the Ewoks... |
Grunka Lunkas.
They're good for cheap labor, too, 'cause their union is horrible. XD
GoldenSama - February 2, 2008 06:29 AM (GMT)
XD
Grunka lunka dunkity doo
We've got a friendly warning for you
Grunka lunka dunkity daces
The secrets of Slurm's on a need to know basis
Asking questions in school is a great way to learn
If you try that stuff here you might get your legs broke
We once found a dead guy face down in the Slurm
It could easily happen again to you folks
So keep your head down and keep your mouth shut
Grunka lunka lunka dunkity dot!
Later at the secret door:
Grunka lunka dunkity-gredient
You should not ask about the secret ingredient!
Grunka lunka dunkity doo
We've got a friendly warning for you
Grunka lunka dunkity daces
The secrets of Slurm's on a need to know basis
Asking questions in school is a great way to learn
If you try that stuff here you might get your legs broke
We once found a dead guy face down in the Slurm
It could easily happen again to you folks
So keep your head down and keep your mouth shut
Grunka lunka lunka dunkity dot!
Later at the secret door:
Grunka lunka dunkity-gredient
You should not ask about the secret ingredient!
Crystal Rose - February 2, 2008 06:29 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| CHoW shakes his head. “No. I am your father.” Kimi blinked. “What? How is that even possible?” CHoW shook his head. “Don't argue with your father, young missy! Just for that, no dessert!” Kimi yelled out. “NOOOOOOO!” CHoW laughed. “Join me! You can destroy the Emperor, he has foreseen it! Join me and we can rule the galaxy as father and daughter!” Kimi pauses and a calm comes over her. She realizes there is only one option left for her. So, she stands up and takes a step – right off the ledge of the platform. She falls down into the pit, disappeared from view. CHoW sighs. “... Huh. She'd rather die than spend time with me... is this because I killed your mother?” He calls after her. |
Out of all the spoofs of the one scene of Star Wars I've seen yours has got to be the BEST!!!!
Oh and the bat made me laugh for five minutes straight. Do you know how hard it is to laugh when your roomate's asleep? XD Very.
Major Win.
:D
Along with that AMAZING job with the second part! You know I think i'm gonna hold off on watching the movies just so I can be surprised when things happen! Great job and I cannot wait until next month!!! Gah! So far away!
BTW: Everything that Bender says makes me crack up XD
GoldenSama - February 2, 2008 06:33 AM (GMT)
CR: The best? :o Well that's awesome considering that scene must have been spoofed a hundred times before I was even born. XD Glad you liked it! ^^
You know what's amazing? A month IS far away, but I'll still probably be in a panic at the end of February 'cause it won't be done yet.
You know what's amazing? A month IS far away, but I'll still probably be in a panic at the end of February 'cause it won't be done yet.
Kimiko - February 2, 2008 06:41 AM (GMT)
I half expected Kimi to refuse to be put in the lizard-thing's stomach. I expected her to, like, amazingly wake up and be like 'Ew, no way' even though she was like, dying. XD
I also wasn't sure how you would re-create the "I am your father" reveal, and OMG priceless! XD "Don't argue with your father!" Woo.
I also wasn't sure how you would re-create the "I am your father" reveal, and OMG priceless! XD "Don't argue with your father!" Woo.
Crystal Rose - February 2, 2008 07:13 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| Sama raises an eyebrow. “I don't know. What do you think? Do you think a princess and a guy like me...” “No.” Chewvenger replied. “Not a chance.” Kimi added. “There's no possible way.” Taz2 chimed in. “Ahahahahahahahahahahahahah... oh, you're serious?” Bender grinned. “Not even if you were about to be frozen in carbonite.” Princess Rose stuck her head back in the room to say. “Alright, alright! Just shuddap!” Sama snapped. |
Isn't he now sorta frozen in it?
Just noticed the irony in this XD Yes, I'm slow, It's 2 am and i'm sleepy XD My mind likes to wander slightly
GoldenSama - February 2, 2008 08:02 AM (GMT)
Kimi: XD That would have been hilarious!
Glad you liked it! That was all I could think of when it came time to make a joke for the big reveal. Glad it went over well!
C_Rx2: XD Yeah, that's what that line was in reference too last time! Very long set up on that joke, huh?
Glad you liked it! That was all I could think of when it came time to make a joke for the big reveal. Glad it went over well!
C_Rx2: XD Yeah, that's what that line was in reference too last time! Very long set up on that joke, huh?
The Vidit of Light - February 2, 2008 09:04 AM (GMT)
Hmmm...not as funny as the first one, I thought, but still, congratulations. That spoof of the "I am your father" scene was clever. The reason Kimi screamed out "NOOOO!"...:LOL:
And I'm the (acting, at least) leader of the rebellion? Nice...but that now means you're making me speculate on just which charas I'm supposed to be playing...:LOL:
And user/character pairings? Well, it neither of you seem to be protesting it...
...so, when can we expect a Han SamaXRose Organa stamp? :LOL:
Anyway, again, congrats.
And I'm the (acting, at least) leader of the rebellion? Nice...but that now means you're making me speculate on just which charas I'm supposed to be playing...:LOL:
And user/character pairings? Well, it neither of you seem to be protesting it...
...so, when can we expect a Han SamaXRose Organa stamp? :LOL:
Anyway, again, congrats.
Dark Phazon - February 2, 2008 05:48 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (The Vidit of Light @ Feb 2 2008, 04:04 AM) |
And user/character pairings? Well, it neither of you seem to be protesting it... |
because that was part of the original, so it'd be part of the parody? and all that was already gone over a while ago and allowed in order to fully parodize whatever movie GS was going to parodize (before what movie he was going to parodize was known)? And it doesn't matter anyway because these are characters in a story and NOT the actual people?
And yeah I'm being defensive for GS, but that's 'cause that was one of the big issues GS was conflicted about for even making these parodies, and everyone else decided that didn't matter 'cause this is a fictional parody and GS writes excellently funny parody stories. So yeah, don't be offended over something unimportant or you'll be forced to play ET for the Atari 2600 for 12 straight hours, if not a worse penalty... :LOL:
The Vidit of Light - February 2, 2008 06:44 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Dark Phazon @ Feb 2 2008, 09:48 AM) | ||
because that was part of the original, so it'd be part of the parody? and all that was already gone over a while ago and allowed in order to fully parodize whatever movie GS was going to parodize (before what movie he was going to parodize was known)? And it doesn't matter anyway because these are characters in a story and NOT the actual people? And yeah I'm being defensive for GS, but that's 'cause that was one of the big issues GS was conflicted about for even making these parodies, and everyone else decided that didn't matter 'cause this is a fictional parody and GS writes excellently funny parody stories. So yeah, don't be offended over something unimportant or you'll be forced to play ET for the Atari 2600 for 12 straight hours, if not a worse penalty... :LOL: |
Did I say I was offended? Relax, man. It's fine.
And threatening me with ET? Uh-oh. A method of torture worse than CIA interrogations...my gosh, can't you be even a BIT humane? :LOL:
Crystal Rose - February 2, 2008 07:32 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (The Vidit of Light @ Feb 2 2008, 04:04 AM) |
| And user/character pairings? Well, it neither of you seem to be protesting it... |
I'm totally cool with it :3 I'm a sucker for cuteness
ET for the Atari? O_O *dies* that is pretty inhumane!!!
tailsonic15 - February 3, 2008 07:53 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| Kimi blinked. “What? How is that even possible?” CHoW shook his head. “Don't argue with your father, young missy! Just for that, no dessert!” Kimi yelled out. “NOOOOOOO!” |
XD GS, you are a freakin genius!
This may have yet to be sued...but in my opinion, it'd be worth it! This was an awesome story/movie/pancake! Also, it took up.....all my page....Which kept me reading this for.....2 days.....
That....to make me read for 2 days! That takes skill!
Tazzy Porqupine - February 4, 2008 02:50 AM (GMT)
Sama killed batman?!!! *le gaspeth* :o
This was AWESOME, GS!! Definitely worth the wait. As I'm sure the next one will be too! :D But man... that was really awesome. And of course, the spoof of the father scene: Priceless. XD "Don'tchu talk back to your father, young missy!!! >:C"
But yeah. You continue to amaze us with your endless writing skillz. :3 Definitely looking forward to the next installment!!!
This was AWESOME, GS!! Definitely worth the wait. As I'm sure the next one will be too! :D But man... that was really awesome. And of course, the spoof of the father scene: Priceless. XD "Don'tchu talk back to your father, young missy!!! >:C"
But yeah. You continue to amaze us with your endless writing skillz. :3 Definitely looking forward to the next installment!!!
AGodofIrony - February 4, 2008 11:25 PM (GMT)
Took me long enough to review this, didn't it?
Anyways, more awesome stuff GS, espicially for writing so much of it in so little time!
Bender...Bender is awesome. It's really cool that he's C3PO. It'll make the scenes with Jabba the Hut interesting...I don't think he'll be the best translator...
Sporka...WIN! For once, I am the stronger one! MUHAHAHAHAHA!
GS, this Parody pwns.
Anyways, more awesome stuff GS, espicially for writing so much of it in so little time!
Bender...Bender is awesome. It's really cool that he's C3PO. It'll make the scenes with Jabba the Hut interesting...I don't think he'll be the best translator...
Sporka...WIN! For once, I am the stronger one! MUHAHAHAHAHA!
GS, this Parody pwns.
Amy Rose the Hedgehog - March 29, 2008 06:18 AM (GMT)
You did the laugh wrong..it more like MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhAHAhAhAh!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^