Deep space. A ship slowly floats by, with a few fighters flying around in front of it, firing at a few other fighters of appearently alien design.
On the side of the grey ship, with its blue-streamed engines, the words "PILLAR OF AUTUMN" are written.
On the bridge of that ship, a teenage guy in a uniform with a very serious look on his face is pacing about, talking to someone unseen. He paces between the members of the crew at their stations, peering at their screens, one of which displays what looks like a giant, hollow bowl-trimming. The pacing man/boy's voice, earnest and determined, speaks out.
"C_R, I need to know-did we lose them?"
A female voice sounds out from a computer core.
"I think we both know the answer to that, captain."
The captain sighs. "We made a blind jump, how did they-"
"Get here first? The Custard ships have always been faster. As for
tracking us all the way from Reach-for-a-Fork? At light speed my maneuvering options were limited."
"We were running dark, yes?"
"Until we decelerated. No one could have missed the hole we tore in
subspace. They were waiting for us on the far side of the planet."
"So where do we stand?"
"Our fighters are mopping up the last of the recon picket now, nothing
serious. But I've isolated approach signatures from multiple CCS class battle
groups...make it three capital ships per group - and in about ninety seconds
they'll be all over us."
"Well that's it then. Bring the ship back up to combat alert alpha. I
want everyone at their stations."
"Everyone, sir? GASP! You know, for being an alledged military genius, you sure make obvious calls? You know, for being so obsessed with honor and all that, doesn't it bother you that we were the only ship that RETREATED from battle?"
The captain is clearly not amused. "You would have rather we made a suicidal charge at a fleet that would have torn us to pieces in seconds?"
Just then, a 1-foot-tall, pink-colored hologram of a teenage girl appears in front of the captain, glaring at him.
"We seem to be about to do that anyway, sir. What's the difference? Are we just going to let THEM come to US now? Hmm?"
The captain maintains a calm composure. "Don't worry. I have a plan. Now get EVERYONE ready for battle. Let's give our old friends a warm welcome."
C_R shrugs, and says:
"I've already begun."
Meanwhile, aboard the ship, everyone is already getting ready. Marines are setting up baricades, chaplains are making their rounds, fighter craft are getting warmed up, and on the intercom, C_R's voice can be heard broadcasting throughout the entire ship. "Attention all combat personnel! Please
report to your action stations."
A boy/man with a bad haircut and a goofy composure speaks out in the best manner he can: "You heard the lady, move like you got a purpose."
C_R broadcasts again: "This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill. As if you couldn't guess."
Meanwhile, the bad-haired soldier, a sergeant, paces up and down between two lines of marines.
"Well..." he says"uhh...guys..."
Four different speeches go through his head:
"Keep your eyes downrange, fingers on your triggers, and we all go home in
one piece! AmIrightMarines?!?!
Once again, it is our job to finish what the flyboys started. We are leaving
this ship platoon, and engaging the Custard on solid ground. When we meet the
enemy, we will rip their skulls from their spine, and toss 'em away, laughin'! Am I right, marines?
Men, here is where we show those split-chin dessert-head freaks that
they could not have picked a worse enemy than the human race. We are going to
blow the heck out of those dumb desserts until we don't have anything left to shoot
'em with! And then, we are going to strangle them with their own-living-filling!
Am I right, marines?
Men, we led those dumb dessert dishes out to the middle of nowhere to keep 'em from
gettin' their squishy claws on Earth. But, we stumbled onto somethin' they're
so hot for, that they're scramblin' over each other to get it. Well, I don't
care if it's God's own personal anti-fattening machine, or a giant hoola
hoop, we're not gonna let 'em have it! What we will let 'em have is a belly
full of lead, and a pool of their own fillings to drown in! Am I right, marines?
However, none of those things come out of his mouth. Instead, nervous as he is with the eyes of his squad on him, he says: "Well, guys...uhh...we're going to fight now...so...uhh...don't get shot. Uhh...am I right marines?"
The squad stands there, dumbfounded for a moment at the "inspirational speech" they have just been given. Finally, one of them, just one, speaks out:
"Uhh...sir, yes...sir, sergent Sama?"
Sama sweatdrops, and simply dismisses them.
"Now move it out double time."
C_R's voice comes over the intercom again: "Attention all personnel, we are reengaging the enemy. External and internal contact imminent."
Sama, inspiration hitting him, speaks to his squad again: "All you greenhorns who wanted to see Custard up close, this is gonna
be your lucky day."
One of the marines speaks back at him.
"But I want flan instead!"
"Uhhh..." Sama thinks fast. "Double ration of flan for you men tonight if you fight twice as hard!"
They break into cheers, and all resolve to do so. Sama grins to himself.
In a room with a cryro statis pod, two men are viewing its contents.
"Wow! Sir!"
"Right. Let's thaw her out."
"Okay, bringing low level systems online. Cracking the case in thirty
seconds. Body temperature rising. Blowing the pins in five."
The pod opens, and out of it, slowly, steps a person wearing heavy battle armor. However, unlike the protaganist from the series I'm ripping off here, we can see that person's face. Her brown hair flows down in two "quills" to the small of her back. She stretches, yawns, and grabs a helmet.
"Whatdaya want? That nap was nice! Hey, why's the alarm going off?"
she says, looking up.
One of the men faceplants in his right palm.
The girl in armor nods in realization.
"Oh yeah! The war. Surrvival of the human race thingy. All that stuff. I forgot. Say, anyway I can get my shows in my cryro-pod?"
Before one of the men can answer her, another soldier, a marine, rushes in.
"Ma'am!" he says, addressing the girl. "The captain needs you on the bridge ASAP. Better follow me."
The girl shrugs her shoulders. "Sure, whatever, I guess."
When they get to the bridge, admist more marines and other personal preparing for battle, the captain, standing next to C_R's hologram regards the girl in armor, who has put her helmet on by now. Despite this, the captain recognizes her.
"Good to see you, Kimi." he says. "Things aren't going well. C_R did
her best but we didn't shake them."
Kimi, however, is looking unamused. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, captain Vidit, same old, same old. Yeesh, can't you talk about something besides army stuff for five seconds? Did you tape my shows?"
Vidit is unamused. "Kimi, I told you, we don't get them aboard a military vessel. And if you would address me with a bit more respect, that would kind of, you know-"
Kimi is already looking at the screens on the bridge displaying various tactical information.
"These shows are boring!" she says.
Vidit shakes his head.
"Kimi! Please! Pay attention!"
Kimi turns back to him.
"Fine, fine, don't lose yourself."
Vidit sighs in frustration and looks toward C_R, who begins to brief Kimi:
"A dozen Custard superior battle ships against a single Halcyon-Class
Cruiser with those odds I'm content with three...make that four kills. Sleep
well?"
Kimi glances at Vidit. "Yeah, except when Vidit here decided to have you wake me up."
Vidit sighs yet again. Of all the Spartans, why did HE have to be stuck with the one with an attitude?
Suddenly, a large explosion rocks the bridge.
"Report." Vidit says.
C_R speaks up quickly:
"It must have been one of their boarding parties, I guess an antimatter charge."
An officer at a console addresses C_R and Vidit: "Fire control for the main cannon is offline!"
C_R looks worried, and addresses Vidit: "Captain, the cannon was my last offensive option. For dessert, they sure are destructive. They need to cool down! If I had a solid form, I'd give them a huggle."
Vidit sighs again. "Nice as that may be, C_R, I'm afraid that it wouldn't do any good. All right, then, I'm initiating Cole Protocol Article Two. We're
abandoning the Autumn. That means you too, Crystal_Rose."
C_R looks at TVoL with a half-concerned, half-sarcastic expression.
"While you do what, go down with the ship?"
TVoL chuckles.
"In a manner of speaking. The object we found-that dish-rim thing-I'm gonna try and land the Autumn on it. Somehow, it looks like it actually has an atmosphere."
C_R regards Vidit with both concern and earnesty: "With all due respect, sir," she says ,"this war has enough dead heroes. And you kind of already dropped the "death before dishonor" routine when we ran from Reach-out-for-a-Fork.
Vidit gets annoyed.
"What we did was NOT dishonorable. There was nothing more we could have done there! Must you attempt to discredit my honor at every turn!?!?"
By this time, C_R and Kimi are both looking at Vidit with expressions that say both "Wow, that's overreacting" and "chill out" at the same time. Vidit takes a deep breath and calms down.
"I appreciate your concern, C_R," he says, "but its not up to me, protocol is
clear. Destruction or capture of the shipboard AI is absolutely unacceptable,
and that means you're leaving the ship. Lock in a selection of emergency landing
zones, upload them to the main pilot's navicomputer and then sort yourself for hard transfer."
C_R, if for no other reason then to make TVoL feel better, salutes.
"Aye aye, sir."
TVoL tuns to Kimi.
"Which is where you come in, Kimi. Get C_R off this ship. Keep her
safe from the enemy. If they capture her they'll learn everything: force
deployment, weapons research, Earth."
Kimi turns toward C_R.
"AIs can pick up TV signals, right?"
C_R shakes her head. As Kimi begins to protest, C_R simply ignores her and addresses TVoL:
"The Autumn will continue evasive maneuvers until you initiate a
landing sequence. I'd suggest my subroutines handle
the final approach."
"Excellent work, Crystal_Rose. Thank You. Are you ready?" TVoL replies.
C_R sighs, and looks around at the bridge. She had called the Pillar of Autumn her home, not just the ship itself, buts its systems, its circuits, its consoles, since the start of the war.
"Yank me." She finally said.
"Oh, fine." Kimi said, pulling out C_R's computer chip and inserting it into her helmet's disk drive/computer chip slot.
"God be with you, Kimi." Vidit said, looking Kimi right in the eyes, before turning toward the main pilot's chair, walking over to it, and, after the pilot himself got up, sitting down.
Meanwhile, C_R had been getting used to the computer system of Kimi's armor.
"You know." she said. "Your armor's systems aren't too different from the Pillar's."
Kimi quickly spoke up: "Yeah, well, don't mess with them TOO much. Because, you know, I kind of need full control of my armor otherwise I'll not be able to fight at super-Kimi level, and considering the missions I get sent on, that'll probably, you know, get me killed."
C_R, agreeing, simply said "Okay."
Vidit took out his personal sidearm and held it out toward Kimi.
"I don't keep it loaded, you'll have to find ammo as you go." he said.
Kimi looked at the weapon in disgust.
"A gun?" she asked. "You give me super strength, super endurance, super agility, etc., and you expect me to use a GUN?"
Vidit was not amused.
"Yes." he simply said.
"Fine." Kimi said, taking the pistol and holstering it.
"Hey!" she said, as she holstered the gun. "Utility belt!"
TVoL facepalmed.
"Just get going." he said.
"Fine, fine..." Kimi muttered, walking off.
"Alright, Kimi, follow my guidance. To get to the escape pods, you need to-"
"Let's go this way!" Kimi said, and started running.
"Kimi, wait!" C_R said.
"HEY!" Kimi replied. "How come your still so close to me if I have enhanced running speed? You shouldn't be able to keep up with me!"
"I'm in your HELMET, remember?"
"Oh yeah." Kimi said. She was not watching where she was going, however, and was running straight into a firefight...
"Covering Fire!" a marine yelled from behind some crates, firing across the hallway he was in.
The custard soldiers (yes, soldiers made out of and/or somehow physically infused with custard), returned fire in earnest, but suddenly saw Kimi sprinting toward them like an overzealous WoW player who had been AFK as his guild had planned a raid.
"WATCH OUT, KIMI!!!" C_R yelled, but it was too late. Kimi bowled into the crates that the custard troops were hiding behind, sending them flying and scattering custard everywhere.
"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!!!!" Kimi yelled back at the crates.
It's going to be a long mission. C_R mused to herself.
In the meantime, the marines Kimi had just rushed by looked back after her.
"What was that?" one asked.
"I think that was one of those Spartans, you know, those cybernetically enhanced, superstrong, superfast, elite soldiers." said the other.
"THAT kind of behavior was what passes for an elite supersoldier in the United Earth Space Corps., when we're fighting for our very survival?!" the first of the two asked.
"Yep." said the second.
They looked at each other.
"Hold me." they said in unison to each other.
Meanwhile, C_R was trying to get Kimi to be a bit more careful: "Keep your head down, there's two of us in here now, remember?" she asked.
"My armor. My choices. YOU NO ARGUE!" Kimi replied.
Meanwhile, TVoL's voice was head over the intercom: "Attention all hands, this is the captain.
Prepare to abandon ship. Land on that weird thing that looks like the rim of a dessert plate. No, I have not gone totally insane. It has an atmosphere. No, I am not on some sort of mind-blowing substance. If you can make it, you may have a better chance there then aboard the Pillar. Combat team, repel boarders until top personnel are
away. God be with us all! TVoL out."
Finally, Kimi made it to a lifepod.
"One last lifeboat." C_R said. "Quick, get aboard before it launches."
Kimi rushed in, and ran to the front of the escape craft.
"Okay, I'm here, let's go!" she said.
"Aye aye, ma'am." said the pilot. "We're disengaged. Goin' for minimum safe
distance."
Meanwhile, over in another seat, a marine was losing his nerve. "We're gonna make it aren't we, sir? I don't wanna die out here. Are we gonna die, sarge?"
Sama, sitting nearby, was only looking at that marine nervously.
"Umm...of course not, marine. Look! A Spartan's here to help us!"
The marine looked at Kimi.
"You the same girl who ran through those crates?" he asked.
"Mm-hmm." Kimi nodded.
The marine buried his face in his hands and began to sob.
Kimi rolled her eyes. "People just don't understand heroes like me." she whispered.
C_R simply ignored Kimi's remark: "Look." she said, referring to the plate-ring.
"What is that thing, lieutenant? It looks...weird." Sama asked the pilot.
"Dessert if I know," the pilot answered. "but captain said we're landing on it."
"Military genius indeed." C_R remarked. "I knew it!" she continued, noticing something else. "The Autumn is accelerating. Vidit is going in manually. My GOSH, how'd he get to the rank of captain as a TEENAGER, anyway?!"
"Heads up, everyone, this is it." the pilot said. "We're entering the ring's
atmosphere in five."
Sama gulped, and put a cardboard box marked "HAPPY BOX" in crayon on his head.
"Sure you wouldn't rather take a seat?" C_R asked Kimi.
"We'll be fine." Kimi replied with a grin under her helmet that C_R, being inside said helmet's systems, could see.
It's going to be a VERY long mission. C_R thought to herself. At least I'm not stuck with that "HAPPY BOX" guy.
---
It begins. Officially. :D
Expect the next chapter...sometime.
As the Pillar and its escape pods streaked toward the ring, they entered its atmosphere. However, all was not well. It seemed well, but C_R, being a highly intelligent AI, noticed something wrong with the atmospheric entry. Against her better judgment, she spoke up about it:
"We're coming in too fast!" she said to Kimi, however, only Kimi could hear her, as she was inside her helmet.
"We're coming in too fast?!" Kimi replied, out loud.
That was what C_R feared would happen. Suddenly the marines began repeating her cry, and the pilot lost concentration.
"SHUTUP!" she yelled, "I CAN'T TAKE US IN LIKE THIS!"
But was to no avail. They continued to panic, and soon enough, the pilot lost control:
"Airbrake failure!" she yelled. "They blew too early! I'm losin' her...brace for impact!"
Kimi awoke to C_R's voice.
"Kimi! Kimi, can you hear me? At last...are you alright? Can you move?" Kimi slowly got up from the ruined escape craft, rubber her head, and as she stumbled out, C_R spoke again: "The others...the impact."
"There's nothing we can do?" Kimi asked.
"There's nothing we had to to." C_R replied. "Everyone survived the impact, you were the only one to get knocked out-or were you sleeping? I heard you SNORE! Anyway, they tried to wake you up, but gave up after you punched the first guy who shook you. You broke his nose!"
"Sorry." Kimi sheepishly said.
"Never mind that." came the reply. "I've detected multiple Custard dropships on approach. I recommend moving into those hills. If we're lucky, the Custard will believe that everyone aboard this lifeboat died in the crash."
Kimi simply nodded, and took off running. When she reached the relative safety of a nearby hillside arrangement of trees, C_R spoke up again.
"I'm reading thousands of types of flora. The ring's ecosystem is incredibly sophisticated."
Kimi blinked under her helmet.
"In ENGLISH, Poindexter!"
C_R sighed. "There's a lot of life on this ring. Thousands of plant types. It's complex."
"Ohhhhhhh...." Kimi said. Something caught her eye. "Hey, those plants look weird! Let's go study them up close!"
"Kimi, wai-"
But it was too late. Kimi sprinted out of the cave, and into the open field surrounding it.
C_R considered scolding Kimi...for a split second, before deciding that it would be a useless endeavor. Instead, she simply said:
"Alert! Custard dropship inbound! They must be looking for survivors. I recommend immediate evasion."
Kimi and grabbed the plants that had held her interests, and was examining them very intently.
"Mm-hmm." she simply said.
"Warning! They've detected us, hear they come." C_R shouted.
"Mm-hmm."
Meanwhile, the Custard dropship had prepared for unloading its troops...however, when the doors to each Custard soldier's individual pod opened up, as a reflex, they jumped out...100 feet in the air. They landed on the ground with a splat.
The newly-recruited Custard pilot in the dropship's cockpit flew away quickly, before an other Custard had a chance to see what had just happened.
C_R despite her intrigue on what had just happened, namely, how a Custard pilot could be so stupid as to open his drop bay doors 100 feet in the air, decided not to mention it, as it would distract Kimi, who had finally become bored with the plant she was looking at, even more.
"I'm reading a lifeboat beacon over the next hill. We should check to see if there are any survivors." C_R said.
Kimi, seeing nothing else to do, walked off in that direction, but the splats of custard on the ground did interest her...
Soon enough, another marine came up to her.
"Good to see you, ma'am!" he said. "It's a mess. We're scattered all over this valley. We called for evac, but until you showed up, I thought we were cooked."
Kimi was about to ask where they would be evacing to with the Pillar down and everyone scattered about the ring, but C_R spoke first.
"Don't worry Sergeant. We'll stay here until evac arrives."
The sergeant took Kimi to a strange structure where a whole squad of marines was set up in as though it were a bunker, and just a moment after they arrived:
"Heads up! I got a Custard dropship headin' in, over here!"
Although the pilot of that dropship lacked the stupidity of his earlier-mentioned comrade, the marines were quick to set up a field of fire from the structure, and repel the attack.
"Hey!" Kimi said. "I wanted a piece of the actio-"
"Look sharp! Custard dropship on approach! I could use some help over here!"
Kimi scoffed a little at the irony, and ran off.
The Custard advanced, firing off molten-hot bursts of the substance they were made of as they went, and were, in turn, met by a flurry of bullets from the rifles of the marines. Kimi boldly charged out, fists ready.
"Kimi, I think you should take cover!" C_R said.
Kimi laughed as the molten-hot custard collided with her suit, absorbed harmlessly by here personal shields. Suddenly, however, she heard a small alarm going off.
"Hmm?" Kimi asked. "C_R, why did you set an alarm clock-OW!" she yelled, as a molten hot hunk of custard hit her armor in the stomach. Tough as her armor was, she still felt the heat through it.
"KIMI, GET TO COVER!!!!" C_R yelled.
"Fine, fine!" Kimi said, and dived behind a nearby rock. Soon, she heard a charging noise, and a blue meter filled back up again on the top-left side of her heads-up display.
"Kimi, your overshields can only take so much before being knocked down!" C_R scolded.
"Now you tell me." Kimi countered.
With that knoweldge, Kimi took care of the remaining Custard with more care (but still used her fists as opposed to the gun TVoL gave her).
"This is Pelican Echo 419." came a transmission. "Anybody readin' me? Repeat. Any UNSC personnel respond."
"Roger, Echo 419." A marine responded. "This is Fire Team Charlie. We read you 5-by-5. That you, Foe Hammer?"
"Roger, Fire Team Charlie. Good to hear from ya."
"If you're not too busy, Foe Hammer, we could use a lift. We have survivors to transport to the command shuttle."
"Look, more lifeboats!" C_R said, eying them in the sky. "They're coming in fast. If those lifeboats make it down, the Custard are going to be right on top of them.Foe Hammer, we need you to disengage your Warthog. Kimi and I are going to see if we can save some soldiers."
"A WARTHOG!?!?!" Kimi said. "Going to save some soldiers?! Do we have to, and how does a warthog help us save soldiers? Does it eat the Custard?!"
"Yes, we have to," C_R said. "and you'll see."
"I'll see it eat the Custard? Cool! But kind of sick..."
If C_R had a physical form, she would have shaken her head, or hit it.
"Roger, Crystal_Rose." Foehammer said. The human dropship dropped a warthog (http://blog.z1zzy.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/warthog.jpg) "Okay, Charlie Team, Warthog deployed. Saddle up and give 'em-"
TVoL: HOLD IT! NO CUSSING IN MY FIC!!!
Foehammer: FINE! GIVE 'EM A HARD TIME. IS THAT MORE TO YOUR LIKING, YOU OVERSENSITIVE, OVERCONSCIENTIOUS IDIOT!?!?!?!?
TVoL: You know, I AM writing this fic.
Foehammer: Sorry, sir.
"Roger, Foe Hammer." C_R replied, ignoring that obvious breach in the fourth wall. "Stand by to evac survivors and transport them to safety."
"That's affimative. Echo 419 staying on station. Foe Hammer out."
"Can you guys at least help me out?" Kimi asks the marines climbing into the UNSC dropship that has just arrived.
"All right, fine, even though you're supposed to be a supersoldier that can do crud like this single-handedly, fine! Volunteers step up!"
Two marines slowly stepped foreward and climbed into the warthog.
Seeing where they were sitting, Kimi suddenly cheered up.
"I get to drive? SWEET!" she said, climbing into driver's seat of the warthog.
I have a bad feeling about this. C_R thought.
She was not disappointed. Kimi put the pedal to the metal, and the warthog zoomed off, and even Kimi herself had a hard time keeping it driving straight and avoiding crashes and that speed. She was enjoying it. The marines with her were cursing themselves for overestimating Kimi's professional status.
They reached a cave, and C_R slowly spoke up on an observation she had made, despite the danger of doing so and distracting Kimi:
"This cave is not a natural formation. Someone built it, so it must lead somewhere. I've hacked into the Custard battlenet. They're actually broadcasting tactical data on unencrypted channels! And they're THE GUYS WHO HAVE BEEN KICKING US ACROSS THE GALAXY!!!...Wow. How embarrassing. Anyway, we should show them who they're dealing with! Kimi, I'm going to use your suit's transpond system to monitor their chatter."
"Fine, fine, whatever." Kimi said, not really understanding what C_R had just told her.
As they drove through the cavern, they came to a chasm with an energy bridge spanning it.
"Wow..." C_R said. "Now wonder the Custard were eager to get their claws on this place...just look at the tech that's here. If we could reverse-engineer it..." her voice trailed off, as Kimi's expression showed that she appearently wasn't listening. However, as they exited the cavern, C_R picked up more info that she decided to share.
"New traffic on the Custard battlenet" she said."A lot more crew made it off the Autumn than I had expected—TVoL must have really done a number on the Custard from the ship! Distracted 'em or...something." C_R said, but paused, reflecting on what that may have meant.
"What's that, C_R?" Kimi said. "Maybe TVoL is still honorable after all?" she asked, also picking up on what it could mean. She wasn't so tuned out that she couldn't exchange jabs with her friends, despite the fact that keeping from crashing at her high speeds aboard the warthog was demanding quite a bit of her attention.
"Uhh..." C_R said, "Anyway, however, if we can find TVoL, if he survived, and the other survivors, we have a chance to coordinate an effective resistance. Onward!" she said.
"Oh, fine. But do we really have to rescue TVoL?"
"KIMI!"
"Kidding, kidding."
---
There we are. Part 2. If you are reading this, please comment. Good? Bad? Funny? Interesting? Boring?
Thanks!
As Kimi continued driving along the landscape, C_R spoke.
"Lifeboat detected. No sign of survivors."
"Great." Kimi said. "Are they all going to be this way?"
"It's worth looking!" C_R replied.
"True..." Kimi said.
Soon, C_R had picked up the signal of another lifeboat. Kimi drove up to it, but upon her reaching it...
"This lifeboat is trashed, Kimi." Sama, one of the marines who was riding with Kimi spoke up. "There are weapons and supplies, but no bodies."
"Well, DUH." Kimi said, looking over the wrecked lifeboat, complete with supplies strewn about.
"Well, maybe we should take some supp-" Sama started.
"Nah."
"But Kimi, I'm almost out of ammo-"
"Then take some from Custard I kill, I don't care."
"But Kimi, Custard weapons are...well...custardy...and...I like flan..."
Kimi opened her mouth to speak, but paused.
"Good point." she said, eventually.
With that, Sama hopped off their vehicle, and began to collect some supplies.
"Kimi! You want anything?" he called.
"Uhh...yeah, check the rations for cake-flavored cake!"
"Okay!" Sama called back.
"Uhh...Kimi?" C_R said. "I don't think there's going to be cake-flavored cake in military rations..."
"We'll see." Kimi said.
A few minutes later, Sama came back from his search.
"Well?" Kimi said.
"Let's see...honey-glazed ham, brownie sundae, BBQ ribs, pudding, steak, sushi...sorry, no cake." Sama replied slowly.
"That's too bad." Kimi said. "Well, drop that other stuff and let's get out of here."
"Okay." Sama replied. With that, he dropped the food he had found, climbed back into the warthog, and Kimi drove off.
C_R was silent for a while.
"C_R?" Kimi asked. "Do you have any more directions?"
"What?" C_R said. "Oh, sorry. I'm just trying to figure out what's more baffling: you found those food items on a lifeboat from a military vessel, in MILITARY RATIONS, no less, or that you, of all people, actually said that we should LEAVE THEM BEHIND. I can do complex calculus while reciting just about any book known to man and analyzing tactical and strategic military data from across the galaxy, and I STILL can't figure that out. Anyway, though, you remember how the lifeboat was empty, with NO bodies?"
"Yes..." Kimi said.
"What does that tell you?" she asked.
"That they decided that food deserved its own special life pod?" Kimi asked.
"There was ammo and medkits, too!" Sama said. "It means that they decided that SUPPLIES in general needed their own lifeboat!"
"Uhhh...nooooooooo." C_R said. "It means that there MUST HAVE BEEN SURVIVORS!"
"Oh yeah, and that." Kimi said.
"Of course!" Sama said. "It's all so clear now!"
C_R paused after that remark, but proceeded shortly. "Maybe they took cover in those weird buildings over there.
We should search the interior of those structures before we leave." she advised.
Kimi drove up to the structure, dismounted her vehicle, and slowly stepped into the building, Sama following close behind.
"Hey!" a voice sounded out.
Suddenly, somebody grabbed Sama...and started huggling him.
"It's so good to see a familiar face! *sob* I love you, sarge! Just like my pappy!"
Kimi stared at the scene.
Another marine pried Sama loose.
"Sorry about that, sir." he said. "Jenkins here is suffering from a little shell-shock."
"Alright, soldier." C_R transmitted. "I've called for an evac." she said.
"Roger that." the marine responded. "Marines, assemble for evac pronto." he said.
"Evac?" the marine called "Jenkins" said. "We're going home?"
"Uhhh...why, yes, private. We're going home. Now get in the dropship."
"YIPEE! WE'RE GOIN' HOME!" Jenkins shouted, and stepped into the dropship that had just arrived.
As the dropship flew off, it's pilot's voice could be heard in Sama and Kimi's communicators: "I've spotted additional lifeboats in your area - one near a rock
slide...and another near the head of the river."
"Roger that." C_R replied. "Kimi, Sama, let's go check it out."
"Fine." Kimi said.
"Ah, potatoes!" Sama said. "We won't run into any more weirdos like that "Jenkins" guy, will we?"
"It's your duty, soldier." C_R transmitted to him.
"Ah, potatoes! I knew I should have been a flan thief!" Sama said.
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Alright, maybe not a very big update, but an update nonetheless. Anyway, is ANYONE reading this?