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[Sama Says] I heard the Alice Cooper song used for the title of this one, and then I watched Hellsing. All I could think about was a way to combine those two things with SK&WS – and this is the result. Enjoy. =3
[Sama Adds] After Kimi's story in Chatty Chat about the Hard Rock Park, I had to add something to the story. Thanks Kimi-chan, inspiration is always good!

---

It had been a relatively peaceful day in Teh City. In fact, it seemed like nothing had happened at all in a long time. That was all about to change, though. A foul wind swept through the grand city that stood as a shining beacon to everything Rapid Island could be. It went unnoticed, for night had already taken hold and it seemed that everybody who was anybody was already in bed for the night.

A shadow moved in the blackness of night, bouncing from rooftop to rooftop with the speed and agility usually reserved for the Flan-I and their ilk. Finally, the figure shrouded in darkness came to a stop – crouching down on the roof of a giant K shaped building near Teh Bay.

“Ha ha ha ha ha! At last! I'll finally bring about what I've dreamed of... At last, at glorious, long last, I will build my OWN empire...”

The figure snapped his fingers and a horrible, monolithic shape took form next to him. It shone with an unnatural bluish-green shimmer; the shape of a enormous, round creature with a balding head sandwiches between wild puffs of hair. A round, bulbous nose and rows of razor sharp teeth.

“What's up, boss-maaaaaaan?” The shining beast growled.

“Inside this tower is your target... a girl of enormous power... you know what to do.” The original figure hissed.

“Gotcha. I'll take care of it, boss-maaaaaaan.”

---

Kimi was asleep. That didn't last long – a feeling of being watched suddenly woke her up, making her sit up in bed. As she wiped the sleep from her eyes, she saw a small, furry bunny sitting on the foot of her bed. Kimi blinked and tilted her head to the side.

“... Great, now I'm being woken up by a floppy-eared rabbit. And I thought my life had reached the height of weirdness.” Kimi sighed, and was about to shoo it away when she noticed the rabbit stand on its hind legs and open its mouth. Suddenly a shape shot forth from its mouth, as it did the bunny vanished.

In its place was being of eight-feet in height, and a weight to rival a sumo. Skin as white as snow, hair as red as blood and teeth that were yellow, jagged and sharp. It wore a circus performer's uniform and a thick, dark liquid that looked suspiciously like blood dribbled down from the corner of its cheek.

Partially because she'd just woken up, and partly because a giant, demonic clown had jumped out of a fluffy bunny's mouth and was now floating in the space above her bed; Kimi screamed. Naturally, a super-sonic sound wave exploded forward and the second it connected with the clown it vanished in a puff of smoke.

A few cracks appeared in the wall and ceiling from the impact of the sound waves, but no real damage. A second later, hurried footsteps echoed in the hall and then the door burst open. A half-awake Sama flailed his flansabers around wildly, expecting CHoW or Rowen.

“Alright you midnight-foody assassins, feel the wrath of my bla...” Sama trailed off as he noticed that Kimi was alone. “Oh.”

Kimi folded her arms with a huff. “Sama, did you happen to see a giant, demonic clown around here anywhere?”

One of Sama's brown brows raised. “No...”

Kimi shrugged. “A-Alright then. Maybe I should lay off the caffeine...”

With a shrug, Sama deactivated his sabers. He turned towards the door to leave, but it was suddenly opened again, smashing him against the wall. Mojohanna had appeared, apparently having also heard the scream. She carried her usual giant purple chopsticks – although they now had a rope linking them together.

“Kimi! You okay?” Joha asked, flicking her nunchuck-chopsticks around with the expertise of a pizza-loving sewer mutant ninja.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.” Kimi reassured her friend. “... Although I think you killed Sama with the door.”

“Eh?” Joha blinked and moved the door, revealing a half-conscious Sama.

“My face hurts.” Sama complained, just before he collapsed on the floor.

Joha cocked her head and turned to Kimi, now completely confused. “What happened? I thought I heard screaming.”

Kimi shook her head. “It was nothing. Just a bad dream.”

Skeptically-raised eyebrow not lowered, Joha decided she was too sleepy to argue and left to her back to her room. Sama shakily climbed back to his feet, making his own way back to the hall and closing the door behind him.

With a shrug, Kimi wrote the whole 'dream' off as the product of too much caffeine, and decided to go back to sleep.

[...]

Unfortunately, she'd been asleep no more than five minutes when her eyes opened again. She sat up, and this time she found a fish swimming around the edge of her room.

“Oh great, this should be fun-”

Before she could finish that thought, the fish began to flop around; then it vanished in a puff of smoke and the gigantic, toothy, clown of doom appeared once again. This time it was chewing the head off a child's doll and growling in a wolf-like tone.

“Just what the heck are you?” Kimi demanded.

Instead of an answer, the clown opened its mouth and roared loudly enough to rival one of Kimi's sonic-screams. The walls got a few more cracks, and Kimi was thrown into the headboard of her bed. The clown floated over, opening its fanged mouth wide enough that it looked as if it was going to try to devour her.

Footsteps echoed again, and the clown vanished just as the door opened. Sama flashed a menacing bolt of emerald lightning into the air. “Alright you restaurant-mascot-wannabes, let's get bus...” Sama paused once again, looking a bit more annoyed than last time.

“Don't ask.” Kimi muttered as she sat up and rubbed her now-sore forehead.

“What was all that about?” Sama questioned, despite her telling him not to. He was answered by having a pillow thrown in his face – not normally a painful act, but when the thrower has super-strength it can have a much more significant impact. After picking himself up off the floor, Sama muttered and once again headed back to the hallway – only to, for the second time tonight, have the door smash him into the wall.

“Kimi! What's going on!? This is getting weird!” Joha demanded as she burst in, chopsticks in hand.

The green-themed super hero shook her head. “N-Nothing. Go back to bed.”

Joha looked extra suspicious, but decided that dreams of pyromaniac colonels was more compelling than investigating the mystery, so she headed out. Sama crawled out from behind the door, looking as if he was only a few injuries away from tearing up, and headed back towards his room.

By now, Kimi was sure this wasn't all just caffeine-caused hallucinations. She sat back down and placed her hands behind her head. “Geez, why does this crap always happen to me?” As she stared up at the roof of her room, she noticed a small bluebird flying above her head.

“Now I'm just getting pi--”

The bluebird morphed into a bat, and the bat melted into the gigantic monster-clown once again. Drool fell from its jaws and splashed Kimi, which was enough to get her anger boiling over. She shot up like a bullet and tried to smash the clown-creature with her fists – but it vanished the very second before impact. Instead, Kimi connected full-force with the ceiling; finally breaking it in twain.

The roof collapsed, sending debris all over Kimi's bedroom. It also sent the room above her's – which belonged to Joha – crashing down into her room. A very sleepy Joha looked angry enough to beat the first person she saw with her chopsticks. Unfortunately, at that very moment the door burst open to reveal Sama.

“What happ—KA BIBBLE!” Joha vented her anger, and the sidekick hit the floor with what he suspected was a broken nose. Ignoring that for the moment, Joha spun around to Kimi. “Okay, time for some explaining! What's with all the screaming?”

As Joha glared at Kimi and awaited an answer, the teenage hero turned as white as a sheet, gulped, and pointed just behind Joha's shoulder. “That.”

A small kitten was sitting on one of the shelves behind Joha. She blinked and tilted her head. “A... cat? ... Girl, you've got some weird fears.”

The kitten suddenly turned into smoke; and that smoke transformed into the monstrous clown-creature, his teeth clenched together.

The Guardian blinked. “I take that back.”

Sama stood up and blinked. “Is there a giant evil clown floating in front of us?”

“Yes.” Joha nodded.

“Good,” He noticed the angry glare that statement got him and added, “I'm just glad I don't have a concussion, okay? I get more head trauma than Cosmo.”

The clown roared, shot past both of them and stabbed a long claw into Kimi. Both the guardian and the flan-I had their jaws drop. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! What just happened?”

The clown flicked his claw and withdrew it; amazingly there was no visible damage to Kimi. Unfortunately, there was now a eerie, ghostly version of Kimi hanging off the claw.

“A LITTLE HELP, HERE!” The ghostly Kimi roared loudly as the clown brought its claw up to its mouth. Sama activated his sabers and jumped forward, suddenly serious – but the clown's free hand flashed and knocked him across the room and into the wall.

Joha's chopsticks, now linked by rope, had become Nunchopsticks – a new variety of painful head bashing was now at her fingertips. That's exactly what she intended to do; slamming the chopsticks at the clown – but it dodged to the side, kicked her with one of it's floppy-shoe wearing feet and then, to the horror of both the sidekick and the guardian, it ate the Ghostly Kimi.

Then, in the blink of an eye, the monster-clown vanished.

“... Aww, potatoes.” Sama dropped to his knees. “Did Kimi just get eaten by a clown?”

“Looks that way.” Joha nodded, a sadness in her voice. “B-But, I think I know someone who can help with this kind of thing...”

---

About thirty minutes had passed since a monstrous clown had devoured a ghostly-form of Kimi, leaving the actual Kimi unconscious and unresponsive. Worried about what had happened, Sama and Joha had headed across town to the Flan-I Temple, waking up the Council.

In particular, they were looking for one man who seemed to be the expert on the weird, unusual and unexplained. After all, he did have a sea-monster for a friend, bought a birthday gnome, and owned a pet giant Peruvian leech.

“... So... a giant clown stabbed Kimi, ripped out her spirit, and then ate it?” HA was leaning against the wall in the Flan-I situation room. Crystal and Tazzy sat at the desk, across from Sama and Joha, and both looked worried.

“Yep. Figured this was the kind of thing you could explain.” Joha noted. “So... what WAS it? And how do we help her?”

HA sighed and put his hands in his pockets. “Sounds like a Phantom Clown from Barbarois...”

Sama blinked. “And for those of us who only speak English...?”

HA shrugged. “Barbarois, it's an island shrouded in mist. Like Rapid Island, it floats... but unlike Rapid Island, it's not actually a part of our world. Apparently, there's a race of monster-clowns who can turn people into ghosts and then eat those ghosts for power. I thought they were all extinct, but apparently not.”

Joha crossed her arms and slumped back into the couch. “Great. Wonderful. We know what it is. How do we save Kimi, and how do we kill it?”

A curious kind of smile crossed HA's face. “The answer to your first question IS your second question: we can only get Kimi back if we kill the Phantom Clown. As to how we do that... I've got a plan.”

Sama, Joha, Crystal and Tazzy took turns exchanging worried looks. There was a certain level of uneasiness that accompanied any of his plans.

“... Yeah, I think it could work... I've got all the stuff I'd need... Oh, YEAH! This'll be fun!” HA was practically giddy – an highly unusual sight that left his companions all looking a disheveled and downright dreading what could happen next.

“ALRIGHT! It's simple! We just need to get to Barbarois, kill that Phantom Clown, and get ourselves back! Sama, you'll be coming with me. If there's too many clowns, I'll need something they can chew on while I reload.” HA nodded, stating all of this as simply as if he were announcing his grocery list.

The sidekick paled. “CHEW ON?”

Joha smacked him on the back of the head, though only using her open-palm and not the unbreakable magic chopsticks. “Sama! This is to help Kimi!”

“Yeah, but... CHEW ON?” Sama whimpered, like a sad puppy.

“What? You act like you've never been chewed on before.” HA crossed his arms. As if on cue, a long, black shape slithered across the floor, crawled up Sama's leg, over his back and attached herself to the back of his head.

HA insisted it was just Shannon's way of expressing approval and affect (“They're love bites!”), but something about having the back of his head bitten open and his blood drained always put Sama in a foul mood.

The sidekick's arms were crossed and he looked annoyed. “Let's just go.”

HA shook his head. “Not yet.” A half-sinister smirk spread across his face. “I've got to go change. I'll tell you when I'm ready to go.” With that, he swept himself out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Crystal blinked and turned to Tazzy. “Is it just me, or is he acting weird?”

“But isn't weird normal for him?” Tazzy pondered, somewhat philosophically.

“Weirder than normal, I mean.” The Pink Flan-I replied.

“Well, this whole episode seems weirder than normal.” Joha added, leaning back and putting her hands behind her head.

“Really? How can you tell?” The Purple Flan-I asked, tilting her head.

“Dial M for Monkey!” Sama exclaimed, now hallucinating from blood loss, just before he fell off the couch and onto the floor, unconscious.

---

Barbarois, the floating island of Mist, is said to appear only on specific nights when the moon is full. It is here that a thousand Ghost Clowns call their home. Bound forever to throw pies, squirt seltzer water, make balloon animals and drive around in really tiny cars high above the rest of the world, for none to see.

The vile Ghost Clowns had long wanted to move out and conqueror the world below, but it was a impossible dream. That is, until they had gotten a new leader. He had shown up in their world with a smile like venom. He was hungry for revenge, and he planned to use the inhabitants of Barbarois to help his plan.

Now that new Master was waiting... watching. He knew that the others would come after Kimi's spirit – and when they did, that is when he'd go after his real target.

---

The door HA disappeared through finally reopened, and once again the former Flantom strolled into the room. This time, his appearance was very different than usual. His green cape discarded and his Flan-I garb replaced with a black suit. A red trench coat and matching fedora decorated him and he sported an grin of sheer happiness and insanity.

“... Am I still hallucinating?” Sama groaned.

“Nope. This one's real.” Joha sighed, placing her head on her hand.

“Aw, stuff it. You want to fight supernatural clowns, you have to FEEL it. Anyway, while Sama and I take out the clowns, you three should probably keep an eye on Kimi, make sure she doesn't cause trouble.” HA advised, but as he saw the puzzled looks on the faces of the Flan-I girls, the Guardian and the Sidekick, he let out a sigh.

“... Joha, you DID tie up Kimi, or lock her in a closet or something, right?” HA asked.

Joha blinked. “Why would we do that? She's completely out of it. 'It' being her body, since she's basically a ghost.”

HA slapped his forehead. “Come on! Doesn't anybody else know that once a Phantom Clown takes your spirit, your body idles for a hour and then becomes a Were-Clown?”

Crystal narrowed her eyes. “How are any of us supposed to know stuff like that!?”
“Yeah, that's your territory!” Tazzy crossed her arms.

HA muttered something and sighed. “Fine, fine. You three head back to the Tower and get Kimi contained. Otherwise she'll escape and turn everyone in Teh City into clowns.”

The three ladies exchanged glances, but all of them had gone through too much weird stuff to really be surprised by this kind of thing anymore. They shrugged, bid their farewells to the guys, and headed out of the Flan-I Temple hoping beyond hope that they'd reach Kimi before she became a Were-Clown.

Sama sighed, wondering what kind of headaches faced them when they got there. Then he remembered that he was going to be bait for the bite of Phantom Clowns, and had to wonder what his own headache would be like. “So, how do we get to Barbarois, Mr. Fedora-head.”

HA raised an eyebrow. “Mister ... never mind. Getting there is easy! We just need to open a portal there.”

Sama nodded, crossed his arms, and waited. “Okay. Do it!”

The expression on HA's face was a dead giveaway that what was going on was of the utmost seriousness. Unfortunately, between the half-mask, the cosplay sunglasses and the shadow of the fedora, his face was almost completely invisible.

Not seeing the serious scowl, Sama was absently walking in a circle. Finally the Flan-I with the mask growled and got his companion's attention.

“We can't go yet.” HA announced.
“What? How come?” Sama asked, raising a brown brow.

“Because I need to teach you about the Phantom Clowns! Their powers, strengths, weaknesses, their history, the basic principals of their economy, their views on important political positions, a brief lecture of their greatest rock stars, a seminar about their vacation habits, and --”

“HEY!” Sama interrupted. Apparently, he'd tried to interject sooner, but his previous remarks had been ignored. “We don't have time for a history class, we need to get moving! Kimi's in trouble!”

“Aww, that's sweet. Not knowing what to do will probably get you disemboweled by a Phantom Clown, but that's still a sweet thought.” HA's sarcasm was unrivaled in Teh City – and there's a lot of sarcasm in Teh City.

“Let's just go.” Sama complained.

---

Will be right back, after this commercial break!

---

We find our hero, Super Kimi, standing in front of a billboard. “Hiya folks, I'm the local celebrity who saves your asses from certain doom! Today I'm here to tell you to buy something! No, not some cheap crap or soda, like those other 'so-called' celebrities.”

The camera pans out and we find a group of people tied up a few feet away from Kimi. Each of the people have a mosaic over their face to blur it out and avoid legal action. A man in a hockey mask is standing next to the tied-up people.

“I'm here, asking you to demand that Nintendo make a 'Whack-A-Boy-Band' for the Wii. Because, come on, how cool would that be? AND to answer that very question, we've kidnapped a boy band and are going to beat them senseless to show you just how fun it could be!” Kimi proclaimed in a sing-song voice.

“Mr. Sama, whenever you're ready.” Kimi nodded. The masked-man, who was actually just Sama in a cheap Jason costume, picked up a baseball bat and started randomly thrashing the boy band.

“AH!”
“Hey!”
“That hurts!”
“My six thousand dollar nose!”

Kimi, still in a chipper tone, continued her sales pitch. “See, we think this classic amusement park game could be even more fun on the Wii! We could include multiple whacking devices. Such as a shovel,--”

Sama dropped the bat, picked up a shovel, and continued.

“A hammer,”

Sama traded the shovel for a over-sized hammer, probably taken from a female anime character.

“A tire iron,”

Again, Sama switched to the said device.

“And so much more!” Kimi grinned.

Sama cycled through various things, a tennis racket, a plunger, a shoe and whatever else you can imagine.

“SO, in closing, we're asking YOU, Nintendo, to take the initiative and make this game. Why? 'cause there's only like five good titles for the Wii and it was way too expensive for you to not make some good stuff. Plus, beating boy bands is fun, but we can't all get to theme parks – and doing it in real life can bring on legal action, unless you're super heroes, like me an' Sama, 'cause we can do whatever we want.”

Sama took a break from breaking the boy bands to address the audience, removing his Jason mask. “Not that we condone kidnapping or senseless acts of violence.” He put the mask back in place and picked up a medieval mace.

“Right!” Kimi nodded. “We're against that. Boy bands just happen to be the exception. ANYWAY, we've taken enough of your time for a commercial, so we'll let you get back to our show now. Bye!” She grabbed the hammer from the ground and rounded on the boy-band with a crazed look in her eye.

(This commercial paid for by Spoony, The Great Spoon, although he doesn't know we borrowed his credit card so don't tell him.)

---

is now back!

---

Joha, Crystal and Tazzy hurried to the K-Tower, but when they arrived in Kimi's half-destroyed bedroom, they found her body had disappeared.

“Where do you supposed she went?” Tazzy pondered, looking around the room.

“I dunno. HA didn't exactly tell us what Were-Clowns do, other than some stuff about total destruction and ruin.” Crystal shrugged.

“Wherever she is, we need to find her! It won't matter if HA and Sama save her spirit if her body isn't here.” Joha sighed, looking out of the hold in the wall. She stared at the moon, visible just above the tree line. Suddenly, something blotted out of the moonlight – it was Kimi!

Well, sort of. Her face was now white as paper, and her hair and nose had both turned red. She also had rows of razor sharp teeth and a vicious scowl. She leaped at Joha and tried to bite her; but the Guardian jumped aside and instead Kimi got a mouthful of dresser.

“I honestly didn't think a 'Were-Clown' would be this violent.” Joha gulped.

“Hate to say it, but we better subdue her. For her own good!” Crystal said just as she dodged from Kimi's dive attack. She avoided the bite, but the closet door now had a hole in it. While the Were-Clown Kimi spat out wooden shards, Crystal moved her arms and suddenly a torrent of water shot from the wall, pushing Were-Kimi across the room and out of the hole in the other wall, knocking her into the trees below.

“... Glad you saved us from being eaten, but bursting a water pipe might not have been a great idea.” Joha sweat dropped.

---

The entire Island of Barbarois is covered in circus tents and giant balloons; the two bright contrasts to the landscape, which is mostly bleak. Dead trees, rotten grass and tombstones scatter the ground all around the orange, red, yellow and white striped tents. Beneath the animal balloons are skeletons and spiders.

“Well, this is the freakiest place we've seen in a while.” Sama commented as he and HAlucard walked down the single path that led to the biggest tent of them all.

“S'long as we avoid the Phantom Clowns, we should be okay.” HA replied smoothly. Before Sama could even utter a sigh, they heard what the eerie wail of a clown barking at the moon, and seconds later they were surrounded by several large, ghostly clowns.

“Why? WHY does this always happen!?” Sama growled.

“For the record, I fully expected them to surround us as soon as I said that.” HA flashed a wily grin.

“Then, if I may ask, WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY!?” Sama shouted, the vein in his head now visible.

“This way is more fun.” HA shrugged.

Sama muttered some very unkind things as he held up his hand and unleashed a blast of green lightning on the nearest clown. Much to his surprise, when the lightning was done, the clown looked completely unharmed. It snarled at him, in fact, and didn't so much as flinch.

“... Buh?” Sama blinked. He activated his blue flansaber and slashed at the clown – the saber cut right through, but the clown's body healed as quickly as the saber exited the flesh and once again there wasn't even the slightest hint of injury. “Um... wait... this isn't right...”

The Phantom Clown roared at him, making Sama quiver from the beast's breath, and then it jumped in ready to deliver a bite worse than anything Shannon could pull off. A loud bang like thunder went off and when Sama opened his eyes the clown had disintegrated into dust.

He looked over to see HA standing as cool as ice, holding a over sized black gun that was a near-perfect match for Alucard's. “Yeah, part of that history class we didn't have time for was explaining that Phantom Clowns can only be stopped with silver.”

Sama's eye twitched. “THAT you could have told me!”

“I just did.” HA grinned in response. The rest of the clowns charged forward; HA jumped towards Sama, kicked him down and whipped out a second gun – this one silver. He spun around in a circle, shooting each of the clowns just as they got close enough to bite. The ground was soon covered in dust; as was Sama.

When the sidekick got up and brushed the clown-dust off his clothes, he heard the words 'Heads up!' and moved just in time to catch the silver gun as HA threw it at him. He looked uncomfortable.

“Yeeah, I'm not really a gunman. I mean, I never shot one of these before...”

HA shrugged. “It's easy. Aim, squeeze the trigger, don't hit me.”

Sama shrugged. “It's kind of heavy...”

“You complain SO much! It's really irritating. No wonder Kimi's always throwing stuff at you.” HA grumbled. He floated over to Sama and flashed him a dark smile. “You want to save her, right? Well, then shuddap and follow my led.”

The sidekick sighed. “Alrighty.”

---

“This sucks.” Kimi the Ghost crossed her arms. She was currently trapped in the over-sized stomach of the Phantom Clown who'd eaten her earlier. With the clown being see-through, she was able to view the world of Barbarois, but there wasn't much to do.

“Silence lunch! Wait for the boss-maaaaaan.” The Giant Phantom Clown demanded.

“Boss-man? And who do YOU work for? I swear if it's CHoW I'm going to rip that helmet off his head and shove it down his throat.” Kimi growled, clearly in a bad moon from all this.

“CHoW? Don't ever compare me to him.”

Kimi's eyes widened to the size of grapefruit. “Y-You!”

“Sorry I can't stay and play, but I have to go see the man who killed me. Revenge, you know. Don't worry, though – some of your friends are outside, attempting a rescue. You'll get to watch them die, so things won't be boring.”

Kimi banged her fists into the clown's stomach, trying desperately to get free. “I'm breaking your face when I get my body back!”

“Wrong. You're going to stay in my friend's belly, letting him use all of your super powers against HA and Sama. Then, after you watch them die, you'll get the privilege of riding the Crazy Train that will destroy Rapid Island. So... have fun with that.”

---

Meanwhile, not aware of the situation involving disembodied ghosts, evil clowns and cosplaying Flan-I, three well known citizens had come together for burritos, board games and maybe a bit of evil planning.

“Yahtzee! Woo!” CHoW yelled in victory as he rolled five fives, prompting a victory dance. From the other side of the table the Professor groaned and tore up his score card. Rowen tossed his own dice onto the floor, where they were swept up by a grumpy looking Jimi.

“Alright, you won... at last.” The Professor smirked as he crossed his hands in front of his face.

“And what are you implying?” CHoW demanded angrily.

“Well, I won at Monopoly, Clue and Go Fish...” The Professor reminded him.

“I wiped the floor with you in Smash Bros, Poker and Battleship...” Rowen grinned as he leaned back, his feet on the table and his hands behind his head.

“I whipped you in Life, Chutes and Ladders and Charades...” Avenger bragged from his seat at the fourth corner of the table.

“And I beat you in Connect Four!” Hammah grinned. Probably because the clones always reminded him of another duo he found especially annoying, CHoW was always shooting dark glances at them. This time was no different.

“Oh shuddap! All of you!” CHoW groaned, crossing his arms. “I don't get it... Villains Game Night... I'm the main villain, I should be pwning!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Since when are YOU the main villain?” Avenger raised an eyebrow.

“Since Day One, buddy!” CHoW snapped back. “Besides, you guys hardly qualify as villains. You're more like morally ambiguous. Rowen and I are the only real villains!”

The Professor tilted his head to the side. “I'd argue with you on that point... but instead I think I'll just crush you at the next board game. Stratego, anyone?”

Rowen was about to boast about his awesome Stratego strategy that had never failed when he suddenly froze in place. His eyes became serious and he jerked his head towards the nearest window. “...”

The others seemed to notice this. “What's up, man? You went from friendly-face to psycho-glare quicker than I thought possible.” Avenger noted.

“...” Rowen didn't answer. Instead he reached to his belt, grabbed the double-ended flansaber and stood up, looking at the door with a feverish ferocity.

“Rowen, what is it?” CHoW asked, sitting up. “Don't tell me Annoy-Girl and The Idiot are here--”

“No,” Rowen said, his voice as stern as a hurricane forecast. “I smell something from outside.”

Jimi grinned and nodded. “Oh yeah! Me too! Great smell! Making me hungry, though...”

CHoW blinked. “I don't smell anything.”

“I wonder why, lead-head?” Avenger smirked, proving he too was a master of sarcasm. “What's the big deal? I smell it too; who cares? It's just somebody eating French Fries...”

CHoW's eyes widened. “Oh sh—”

His thoughts were drowned out by the sound of the wall exploding.

---

Back at the K Tower, there was a search underway for the missing Clownified Kimi. While Joha had flown overhead on her chopstick-surfboard, Tazzy had dug up the ground with her earthbending and Crystal had shaken loose several squirrels, apples and various other things from the trees thanks to airbending, they had not found the clown.

“It's six am,” A very sleepy Tazzy complained, leaning against the wall of the Tower. “We've been out here for hours looking for that Kimi Clown...”

“We have to keep looking, she has to be somewhere.” Crystal remained committed, despite the dark circles forming under her eyes.

“HERE CLOWN, CLOWN, CLOWN!” Joha shouted. “Come oooooon! We just want to tie you up!”

“I don't think that's offering a lot of incentive.” Tazzy sighed. She had stepped forward, watching Joha fly by overhead, and as she'd gone back to leaning she found the wall was suddenly much softer. Almost like she was leaning on a person. “... Am I in trouble?” She asked.

Crystal, who stood a little ways in front of her, nodded slowly. “Walk forward... slowly.”

Tazzy took a couple of tentative steps and looked over her shoulder to see the Clown Kimi. “Heh... Heh... Hiya.”

Unleashing a piercing roar, Clown Kimi jumped forward savagely, trying to take a bite out of Tazzy. Luckily the Flan-I was quicker and avoided the new clown fangs Kimi was sporting. As she dodged, she also kicked her foot into the ground, unleashing a wave of dirt from the ground which pushed Clown Kimi back.

The Were-Clown stumbled, but quickly found a new target; Crystal! She dove madly, leaping like a wild dog and snapping her teeth; but Crystal conjured up a miniature tornado that sucked up the Were-Clown, spun her around and tossed her into the K-Tower's wall.

She quickly jumped back up, ready to make another wild attack; but Joha's surfboard landed on her head – hard. Hard enough to knock her unconscious.

“Whew,” Crystal sighed. “I like it better when she's on our side.”

---

The flap-door of the Circus Tent remained closed. Inside, the Giant Phantom Clown who'd swallowed Kimi was waiting, surrounded by some of his toughest minions. He tapped his arm impatiently with his claws, expecting HA and Sama to burst in at any moment.

“Grrr... where are those punks!?” GPC complained.

“You're in trouble, y'know!” Kimi snapped from inside his stomach. “The people coming to save me are incredibly craft and creative; they'll probably have you dead before you even know what happened.”

“... Riiiiiiiight. And I'm the King of Mesopotamia.” GPC grinned. “We did our homework, girl. We know HA's crazy and Sama's ridiculous. We're prepared! We're reaaaaaaaaaady!” Giant Phantom Clown laughed, reveling in the apparent victory.

Suddenly a mysterious black mist covered a circular area of ground in front of GPC, ending his laughter and focusing his attention. He smirked, showing off his fangs. “Pathetic! That's so obvious!”

GPC lifted a giant foot, ready to crush the patch of mist. He was interrupted, however, when the tent flap finally burst open and Sama came running inside, waving his arms and screeching at the top of his lungs.

“I'm Snakebiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite!” He yelled, dancing around in an absurd manner.

GPC blinked, completely forgetting the black mist. His clowny minions all stared wide-eyed, as if they couldn't believe the bizarre scene unfolding in front of them. Two of them exchanged wayward glances, and GPC scratched his head in confusion.

Sama then stopped suddenly, pulled out the giant silver gun he'd been given, and aimed it right at GPC. “And now that you're confused, it's time for you to eat cold silver!” He squeezed the trigger, but his shot was way off, sailing harmlessly over their heads. Worse still, he wasn't used to the incredible kickback from using a gun and he flew backwards, hitting the ground pretty hard.

“Ka bibble...”

GPC blinked. “That... That was just weird.”

Kimi, however, was grinning. “I assume that now is when--” There was a second gunshot, and one of the Phantom Clown Minions turned to dust. GPC looked around for the second shooter, but he didn't see him.

“Yo.”

GPC and his minions looked down – from out of the mist patch on the floor, a arm had risen up, holding a black gun. HA's fedora and masked face had also risen to the surface, and he had his usual grin of insanity.

“Yeah, yeah, YEAH! This should be fun!” HA beamed. “Let's do it!”

He jumped back, now fully risen from his portal, and opened fire. Silver bullets streamed forward, turning his minions into powder. Once they were gone, though, he rounded on GPC himself. “Shoddy bunch of minions you've got.”

Giant Phantom Clown smirked. “Think I'll be as easy?”

HA aimed the gun. “Unfortunately... yeah.” He fired off another bullet, but the second his finger squeezed down GPC opened his mouth and screamed – and super sonic sound waves filled the tent; breaking the bullet in mid-air and throwing HA across the big top like he was a scarecrow in a tornado.

“I've got all of the girl's powers –- plus my own; I'm invincible!” He roared, and once again sound waves ripped through the area. The ground was torn to shreds, and the big top itself was blown down. Sama was buried beneath the velvet tent and fought to free himself; HA on the other hand seemed to have vanished, all that remained was his fedora and sunglasses.

GPC stepped on the glasses, and spat on the hat. “Some cosplaying freak thinks he can beat ME? The chosen second in command? HAH!”

Kimi yawned. “Dude, it's rare that I think someone could give a worse beating than what I can do; but in HA's case...”

GPC scoffed again, unimpressed. “I'm not worried. Besides, it's time to get to the train.” He snapped his fingers and two new clowns appeared, saluting him. “Boys, take the bad-hair kid to the train. He'll make a good snack for later.”

As the clowns captured the still dizzy Sama, GPC turned and started floating towards a shadowy building in the distance. There weren't any street lights on Barbarois; only silvery fog and sinister darkness. As they got close enough, though, Kimi could see where they were heading.

“... A train station?” She asked.

“Yes! The Doom Train Station!” GPC laughed. “It's a infernal train that we're going to ride on fiery floating tracks... until we crash it into Teh City, punching a hole in Rapid Island! Teh City will be destroyed and the whole island will plummet to the ground below! It'll be cool.” He grinned.

“Well, at least that's something different... but why does your boss want to drop our island?” Kimi questioned.

“Duh. Once Rapid Island falls, the impact will destroy The World Below and we'll be able to repopulate the world with Ghost Clowns... It'll be a much better place.” GPC nodded.

“Sounds... stupid.” Kimi sighed, leaning back.

---

The table was overturned, the yahtzee supplies scattered over the ground. Flames licked at the walls as he walked into the Professor's Lab. His skin white as paper, his hair red as a tomato, wearing a yellow samurai robe and carrying a large sword encased in a French fry.

“It's been too long.” Ronald McDonald hissed as he stepped inside.

“Welcome back!” Rowen grinned as he gripped his saber tight. Instantly McDonald turned his attention to the Fallen Flan-I whom he considered his worst enemy of all. His eyes narrowed dangerously and he flexed the fingers that held the hilt of his sword.

“We meet again... I'm glad. You were the first one to ever defeat me... I cannot forgive that.” McDonald growled.

“Aw, boo-hoo. If it's any consolation, you'll be dead pretty soon.” Rowen grinned; then he vanished from where he stood with a Chaos Control, reappearing above McDonald and slashing with his flansaber. The red flan zapped with a crimson light as it struck Ronald's robe and he fell backwards; but as McDonald fell he also transformed.

When he landed, he looked very different. His face was far more sinister than before, and his clothing had changed as well. His hair was wild and he held a over sized scythe.

“The French Fry Samurai is dead! I, however, was born anew – I am The French Fry Shinigami!”



“Whoa.” CHoW blinked. “That's... that's just not right.”
“You kidding? That's awesome!” Avenger grinned. “This should be the fight of a lifetime! Aw, yeah, I'm ready--”

The Professor put a hand on his fellow Custard-I's shoulder. “No. This fight's... personal for Rowen.”

“And I should care because...?” Avenger quirked his brow again.

“Because if anyone interferes, I'll Chaos Control 'em to the Arctic Circle.” Rowen shouted over his shoulder.

Avenger shrugged. “That's a pretty good reason.”

McDonald flashed forward, moving so quickly it was impossible for ordinary eyes to see. The scythe would have cleaved Rowen in two; but his eyes weren't ordinary. He dodged it with Chaos Control, grabbed onto McDonald's back and unleashed the full force of his Flan Lightning.

The smell of burnt French fries filled the laboratory; but quickly Ronald jabbed the pole end of his scythe into Rowen's gut and knocked him back. He twisted around and brought the blade down, but Rowen rolled to the side and swiped with his flansaber. With a hissing fizz, the saber severed McDonald's leg and sent him sprawling backwards.

“You're not so tough!” Rowen taunted.

The leg floated up, flew back to the body and reattached. “You were saying?” McDonald didn't want for a reply – instead he shot forward and slashed his scythe three times in rapid succession. Rowen dodged each one expertly, but the floor was cut up badly.

“My lab's being broke.” Spork complained. “I'm tempted to just zap this guy with my Keyblade...”

“ARCTIC CIRCLE!” Rowen yelled back as he slashed viciously. He grabbed Ronald's face and unleashed a close-range Chaos Spear; and before McDonald could even fall down Rowen had slashed him into thirds using his flansaber.

“Whoa.” CHoW blinked. “Seriously man, getting kind of brutal.”

Rowen jumped back from the chopped up clown. “Just wait... I have a feeling that – yep!”

Before he could finish his original thought, Ronald's body had floated back together, healed up as if nothing had happened, and the Clown Master picked up his scythe with a laugh. “You can't kill me. Not this time.”

Rowen shrugged. “Maybe, but I'm not done trying! Got a few tricks left... CHoW, you and the others might want to hit the dirt.”

CHoW gulped. “You're not going to...”

“Chaos...” Rowen started.

“CRAP! He is! Bomb shelter, you have one, let's use it!” CHoW pointed at the Professor, who quickly obliged by hitting a button on his watch, sending a signal to Eddie. The A.I activated a program in the floor that dropped the others into a bomb shelter beneath the ground.

“BLAST!” Rowen finished, just as McDonald was coming in for a terrible attack. Red lights engulfed his body and then shot out in every direction, decimating the lab and ripping Ronald into bits so tiny they were nearly invisible.

---

The Doom Train: a gargantuan scarlet locomotive that runs along rails made of fire.



That is the horrific sight that awaited Kimi as GPC and his minions boarded the evil train. Sama, now tied up with silly string, was thrown into the corner of the locomotive. GPC stood right at the control panel, while his minions started shoveling coals onto the flames.

“Ha, ha, ha! Master McDonald will be pleased when your world is razed!” Giant Phantom Clown growled, laughing himself silly. He turned to look at Sama, deciding to taunt the sidekick. Unfortunately, as he turned around he spotted something on the floor.

“You've got to be kidding me...” He growled.

It was a patch of blast mist. Slowly, HA glided out of it, grinning from ear to ear. “You know what? I didn't expect to have to do this, but it looks like you're determined to be a pain in the ass.”

His eyes narrowed and he reached his right hand up to his face. Very gently he touched his fingertips against his mask; and the mask turned red. It became liquid-like and oozed onto his hand, forming large spikes over his fingers. Instantly the red liquidly spike hardened back to white and HA had himself a vicious claw. His mask seemed to have grown a bit on his face, now covering more than it previously had.

“Hahahahahahah! Let's DO it! Make it worth my while!” HA demanded; and he jumped forward and slashed his arm. GPC dodged it, but one of his minions wasn't as lucky. The claw sliced through the clown easily, causing the clown to glow red and then melt into a puddle.

“Whoa.” Kimi blinked.

GPC didn't seem happy. “You damn... I'll take you out!” The Giant Phantom Clown jumped forward and threw a super-powered punch into HA's stomach, sending him flying. Two Ghost Clowns tried to jump him as he hit the ground, but the former Flantom slashed with his claw and they too were reduced to mush.

GPC took to the air, using his newfound flight abilities, and then dove right at HA trying to slam him into the wall with a massive fist. The Flan-I held superior agility and avoided the punch, whipping around GPC and slashing at his backside with his claws. A portion of the giant ghostly clown fizzled, burnt and melted into red mush – but unlike the minions he wasn't totally destroyed.

“Raragh!” Giant Phantom Clown roared out in pain, spun around and charged at HA again. It looked like the Flan-I would repeat the maneuver – dodge and slash – but this time there was a major different. As he dodged pasted GPC's claws and went in to stab with his own, GPC spun around so that HA's claw would have hit him in the stomach – meaning Kimi's ghost would have felt the fury.

“WHOA!” Ghost Kimi dove back as the claws ate away at GPC's stomach. HA withdrew them quick, not wanting to destroy the very person they'd come to save. He had, however, melted away a large portion of GPC's stomach – and Kimi very quickly flew out.

As she did, however, GPC's stomach morphed into a toothy mouth and extended forward, swallowing her up again.

“Oh come on!” Kimi complained. “That's... that's just wrong!”

HA jumped up, and he was met with a triumphant laugh from GPC. “I see... you can't stay like this much longer, can you?”

Kimi looked over at HA and suddenly realized what the Phantom Clown meant. The mask that usually covered only a small area of his face had grown in size, it had almost eclipsed his entire visage.

“Feh, I guess you're smarter than you look.” HA scoffed. “Right... since I died and came back, I have access to dangerous powers, but only for so long. If the mask consumes my entire face, I'll become a mindless killing machine – and not the good kind. Still, I've got enough time to finish you off!”

GPC smirked. “Don't think so, pally. Master McDonald can regenerate now... those powers of your's could cut off that power... but judging by the size of your mask, you'd have to leave right now to make it in time. So you get to make a choice; kill me, save the girl, and then let my master destroy you... or go after my master.”

HA narrowed his eyes, both of which were now hidden behind his mask. “... I get it, you've got Kimi's powers, you want to be in charge of the Ghost Clowns... make me kill McDonald, and you get to drive this train into the island and kill us all... but if I stay and beat you, McDonald destroys all my friend's back in Teh City. Man, you freaks LOVE these supposed tough choices, don'tcha?”

He smirked: “Alright, Bozo, I'll call your bluff!” HA grinned like a madman, took a step back, and opened a blast mist portal on the wall. “Yo, Sama! He's weak, don't let his big talk fool ya. You handle this freak of nature, I'm going after Fry-boy.”

Sama blinked. “Love to, but I'm still tied up.” He coughed, phantom chains were still wrapped around his arms and legs.

HA shook his head. “... Maybe leaving IS a bad idea...” He shot forward, avoided a bite from the GPC as he flew by, and slashed away Sama's chains. As he cut the chains, he winked to the sidekick. “Trust me, I've got a plan.”

“Aww, Potatoes... that scares me more than the clowns!”

HA slipped into the floor, melted away into a portal, and was gone. GPC spun around and looked at the sidekick, who was still slumped against the wall, though now freed from his chains.

“Whatever he's up to, it won't work... you're all doomed!” GPC announced.

Sama rolled his eyes. “Just once I'd like to fight an enemy whose actually read the Evil Overlord List. I mean, come on! 'You're all doomed'... cliché doesn't even begin to; AHHH!” While he was ranting, GPC dove at him with a super-powered punch. The sidekick dodged it, narrowly, and rolled across the floor.

---

“... I'm really glad I keep the real lab underground.” Professor Spork sweat dropped as he and the others watched the continuing battle between Rowen and Ronald over close-circuit cameras. Avenger was munching on some popcorn, while CHoW was busy plotting.

Above them, where the laboratory used to stand, there was now a massive war-zone of destruction. Charred metal and crushed earth littered the entire area, as Rowen used every trick in the book and a few he'd just made up in his attempt to take down McDonald. So far, it wasn't going well.

Rowen was covered in small cuts and bruises, but he didn't stop his assault. He slashed and hacked with his flansabers, fired Chaos Spears, punched with Chidori-powered fists, unleashed Chaos Blast at least three times and had even tried biting McDonald. No matter what he seemed to do, though, McDonald somehow revived himself.

“You... are... annoying!” Rowen yelled loudly, as he tried to catch his breath. Ronald dove at him, slashing wildly with his scythe. Despite his injuries and pure exhaustion, Rowen still dodged and avoided the bulk of the attacks coming at him.

“Give it up, boy! You can't defeat me.” Ronald hissed.

“I'll figure something out!” Rowen snapped back, jumping at McDonald, Chaos Controlling away from his latest scythe-slash, and then unleashing a close-range Chidori to the back of the Clown's head. Unfortunately, the head quickly regrew and Ronald kicked Rowen down to the ground.

“YO!” A black patch of mist appeared on the ground and HA appeared out of it.

“STAY OUT OF THIS!” Rowen yelled at once. “This is MY fight!”

HA shrugged. “Yeah, yeah, relax... I won't do anything. I just had to come watch Ronald get his butt whooped.”

McDonald raised an evil eyebrow, looking in HA's direction. “Do you think I'll actually lose? Don't make me laugh. I can recover from any attack, how do you propose he beat me?”

The former Flantom shrugged his shoulders once again, but the smirk on his lips was a clear giveaway that he was up to something. “I dunno, you seem pretty... plain. I mean, a scythe? That's SO original.”

McDonald scoffed. “Hah! Don't condescend me, fool! This Scythe can destroy anything! Really, nothing can survive being stabbed by it!”

HA raised an eyebrow. “Really... so you're saying that anything that is stabbed with your scythe...”

“Is destroyed!” Ronald yelled happily. “Yes, that's right! No one could ever survive a strike from-- ... Wait...” A idea had suddenly dawned on the French Fry Shinigami's mind, but it was too late, because the same idea had stricken Rowen seconds earlier.

Rowen flashed one last Chaos Control, popped up behind McDonald and with a slash of his flansaber separated his arm from his body – and even as the arm regrew, Rowen grabbed up the scythe that had fallen away from Ronald during the attack.

The Fallen Flan-I slashed with the stolen scythe; instantaneously there was a flash of light when the blade passed through McDonald. Seconds later, McDonald let out a howl as his body shriveled and browned, like a French Fry left in the oil vat for too long.

“OH YEAH!” Rowen yelled, pumping his fists in the air in victory. Instantly, a hatch opened in the floor and CHoW ran forward, grinning from ear to ear. (Although, who'd know, given the helmet and all.)

“Dude!” CHoW laughed. “Do you know what you just did?”

“I know, I took him out!” Rowen beamed, happy as a clam.

“No, that's not what I mean,” CHoW shook his head. “You just got a weapon that can beat ANYONE in one hit! ANYONE! ... I hope you see where I'm going with this.”

Rowen blinked. “Beat Kimi and Sama?”

“BINGO!” CHoW nodded his head furiously.

A second later, HA's clawed fingertip punctured the blade of the scythe, turning it red and melting it away into a puddle even as Rowen clutched it in his hand. “I love Bingo! You guys getting a game together?”

CHoW made a whimpering sound, but Rowen didn't seem to care too much. (“Hey, I wiped the floor with McDonald – I'm happy.”)

HA laughed to himself, feeling pleased, but then he noticed a shadow cast over them. He turned his head, looking up at the skies, and spotted the Doom Train heading right at Teh City. It was still a ways out, but it was coming their way.

“Oh yeah, I thought something else was going on...” HA coughed. He placed his clawed-hand back onto the edge of his mask, and once again his hand and the mask turned red. This time, the claw was absorbed back into the mask – and the mask shrunk back to where it had originally been. “Hey! Professor!”

A rather-grumpy Spork crawled out of the bomb shelter and threw a nasty look in the former Flantom's direction. “What? I have a mess to clean up...”

HA shook his head. “Yeah, yeah, worry about that later. I don't suppose you have a giant cannon, do you?”

Spork blinked. “Well... what kind of Mad Scientist would I be if I didn't?”

HA flashed that grin that always filled other's with fear. “Greeeeeat! Get it ready, okay? I have to go get a phone call made...”

---

“Hello?” Agent Vidit picked up the phone in his new Teh City office, expecting it to be one of his overseers from the Country Below. Instead, it was HA.

“Yeah, hey, what's new?” HA didn't wait for a response. “Listen, need a favor. You guys at S.A.I.N.T have a silver reserve, right?”

Vidit blinked. “Well... yeah. Why?” He raised an eyebrow, a little suspicious over what this call was all about.

The reply from over the phone didn't exactly fill him with confidence. “Think I could borrow a giant silver bullet? Like the kind of thing that could be launched out of some sort of doomsday weapon?”

The SAINT Agent wasn't sure how to respond to that, at first. “Erm... You know, we have stuff like that... but it's not usually the kind of thing our agency just... lends out. We're in the business of preventing doomsday weaponry, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah, but we have to shoot down a evil clown train.” HA replied.

Vidit paused for a moment. “... You know, they warned me this town was weird... anyway, I'll see what I can do.”

“Great! Thanks buddy! Oh, and could you have that ready to go in... four minutes, or so?”

The Agent's jaw dropped. “F-Four minutes? That's kind of short notice!”

“Well, we are all about to die. But, you know, take your time if you have to.”

“Okay! Okay! I'll see what I can do... Sheesh.” The Agent hung up the phone, shaking his head. This new job had gotten pretty weird so far, and every time he thought it had reached it's weirdest something like this happened.

---

“KA BIBBLE!”

Back on the Doom Train, the fight was still going on. Ghost Kimi had escaped from GPC's stomach, once again, after Sama shot the Clowny-Foe with the gun given to him earlier. Unfortunately, his arm was still terrible and the kickback still sent him flying. While Kimi's spirit had escaped, she couldn't fight back – and Sama had kicked his own ass just by shooting at the Clown.

“I'm going to enjoy destroying the two of you!” Giant Phantom Clown hissed. He had been hit twice by Sama, but unlike his lesser minions he had not yet turned to dust.

“Yeah, I've been eaten twice – it ain't happening again.” Kimi's Spirit crossed her arms, defiant of the evil Clown's wishes.

“And I... think I need a doctor.” Sama whimpered, rubbing his sore shoulder.

“Enough of this! I'm devouring you both!” GPC cried, and he floated forward, his jaws open – and his second stomach mouth also drooling and ready for a meal. He charged at them, Sama raised the gun once more – but when he squeezed the trigger, expecting to be thrown into the wall, he instead heard a clicking sound.

“... Craaaaap.” Sama complained. The Ghostly Kimi shook her head, but just as the mouth's of the Giant Phantom Clown were within swallowing distance, a flash of red light struck the monster clown through the head; and it dissolved away into dust.

Blinking, Kimi looked up – and then her jaw dropped. Sama sweatdropped himself.

Standing in front of them was the Man in the Crimson Cape. “We meet again... for the last time!”

“Oxymoron!” Sama shouted.

Crimson Cape ignored Sama, unsure if he was talking about what had been said, or just trying to insult him. Instead, he reached into the folds of his cape and withdrew the small padlock he had stolen from the underseas laboratory months earlier.

“You two can't possibly understand what's going on... which is why I'm going to have to get rid of you – permanently.” Crimson Cape snapped his fingers and suddenly Kimi flashed with light; a second later, her spirit and body had been rejoined – Cape had teleported her body from the ground below and healed the super hero.

“... Seems odd that if you're going to try to kill us, you'd give me back the ability to beat people senseless, but whatever.” Kimi shrugged.

“I won't kill you... just get rid of you!” Crimson Cape grabbed the top of the padlock, snapped it open, and red light engulfed the train...

---

“Come on! We need that giant silver bullet!” HA yelled into the phone. He had already gotten the Spork to retrieve one of his doomsday cannons capable of firing a giant bullet at a haunted flying train, but SAINT had refused Vidit's request.

“I told you, I can't get my hands on one for another six hours!” Vidit complained back.

“Great... except we only have about six minutes till we all die!” HA bickered. He looked up at the Doom Train and gritted his teeth... this was bad.

“YOU GUYS!” A female voice carried over the wind – it was Crystal. She, Tazzy and Joha were flying in on the Chopstick Surfboard, coming their way fast. “BIG PROBLEM!”

“We captured Kimi's body, but it suddenly disappeared a few minutes ago!” Tazzy yelled down as they landed.

“... Doesn't matter,” HA shook his head. “A ghost clown train is about to destroy the entire Island... somebody probably should wake up Spoony...”

Joha blinked. “What ghost clown train?”

HA raised an eyebrow. Surely they had seen the giant, haunted train floating on flaming rails. HA looked up, ready to point at it and make (what could be his last) sarcastic comment. Instead, he almost fainted.

The Train was gone. Vanished into the night sky in a flash of red light.

Also gone, vanished without a trace, were Super Kimi and Wonder Sama.

---

---

---

Heh... Avenger isn't a villain really. He just chills with them so he can have a place to stay. An anti-hero, of sorts. If my memory serves me correctly, I don't think Hammah really is, either. He's more of a good guy who's pretty much stuck with the baddies and the anti-hero...

But, either way, AWESOMENESS ABOUND! I smell a sequel... And it smells damn good.

'Venger and Hammah are usually on the side of good, I think I just used the word "villains" when I was referring to them in the basement because the group overall is comprised of more villains than neutral/good. Spork, Jimi and CHoW all qualify -- although interestingly, all of the "villains" based on members here have done good at some point.

^^ Glad you liked it. Yeah, this is leading somewhere: Lords of the Skies and it's two sequels. I've been planning that storyline since January, it's just been a matter of setting things up. =3

Thanks for reading!

Hilariously awesome and scary at the same time. XD

And for some reason, HA as Alucard just makes all the sense in the world. :LOL:

Awesome story (especially with the commercial break XD )!!

That is one messed up picture....I don't think i'll be eating McDonalds any time soon....XD

Anyways, awesometasticness as usual Sama, totally hilarious! That commercial break makes me want to contact Ninteno...

Coolness and a thumbs up!

Wow...just...wow...and yes, our supplies of silver bullets, blessed water, etc., are in high demand (even if they aren't necessary). Do you REALLY think that Teh City is the only place with paranormal threats to deal with? :LOL:

Still, the man in the crimson cape...the same guy who hired Blackfire to steal S.A.I.N.T.'s top-secret helmet...

...crazy, suspenseful, and with a cliffhanger ending leading to a sequel! Nice job, Sama!

I thought things kept quiet in Teh Town. :heh: Seems as though I was wrong!

Darn it, now I have to rebuild the lab. I need to update the defenses too. Jimi, Hammah, come on, get to work! You too Avenger, Tinman, and KxS! If you’re staying here, you got to help!

Anyways…That was…awesome!

The second return of Ronald, these weird ghost clowns, and this strange man in the red cape, and the disappearance of Super Kimi and Wonder Sama…This does not bode well for Rapid Island. And poor Spoon hasn't been told anything.

I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen next, and this definitely inspired me to work on the one story staring Jimi I’ve been planning off and on.

Best quote: “Dial M for Monkey!”
XD I was laughing so hard

I love the concept of whack-a-boy band! That could be a lot of fun! Baseball bats, shovels, vacuums...so much fun. That entire part kept me laughing XD

*reads the part about not approving of kidnapping* Aww...

HA. As Alucard. With what is basically a Hollow mask.

...

Why do I find that just so ridiculously AWESOME???

You are awesome, GS. Plain awesome. Well, maybe not so plain. You are also sprinkled with a lot of spice called "badass". The images this story created were just awe-inspiring. And, like DP said, HA as Alucard makes all the sense in the world. :p

Awesome work, GS. Keep it up. I'm rootin' for ya.

Now, I must go laugh more at the "Dial M for Monkey" part, so excuse me.

DP: ^^ Heh, thanks! I have no idea who made that McDonald picture, but when I saw it I knew I had to use it somehow. =3 Doesn't HA as Alucard make sense?

C_R: Glad you liked it! ^^ Yeah, McDonalds is now on my "do not eat" list. I want to print that picture and take it to the McDonalds where my friend works...

TVoL: Oh, I'm assuming the Land Below where Vidit hails from has it's share of threats. I think for the next major story arc I'll do some exploring of what that place is like...
Yes, Mr. Crimson Cape... the Trilogy that begins in the next story will explain who he is, and what his true motives are. I think people will be shocked. ^^

AGOI: Always happy to inspire! Teh Town IS quieter than Teh City, but even so, every now and then something crazy happens. Oh, I hate to say it, but pretty soon Mr. Spork and everyone else on Rapid Island will have much bigger concerns than a gap in Lab Defenses... MWahahahahah!

TS: XD "Dial M For Monkey!" I'm about 80% sure that was the name of one of the Monkey episodes of Dexter's Lab, but I can't remember...
Whack-A-Boy-Band would be so awesome on the Wii. Seriously, I hope Mr. Miyamoto got my email...

HA: XD I was hoping you'd enjoy that!

I'm telling you, when I first watched Hellsing, I started laughing because of how much Alucard reminded me of your characters. I do hope you'll like the next story too!

MONKEY!

I bet that costume was made by a Death Note fan in Japan (because it seems Ryuk Ronald McDonald is quite a popular meme in Japan).

And for your viewing pleasure:




^this supposedly has to do with Gantz (which I guess would explain why this parody has Freeza and the hologram machine-like thing), but it also has three food company mascots (that red haired girl is for a Japanese company), the Vocaloid girl, and Sentokun (whom I don't know anything about at all) :LOL:

^Hokuto no Ken style XD

Nooooo! KFC GOOOD!

Anyway, great story, GS! My only problem now is I woun't be able to sleep tonight O_o.