Okay, since I'm waiting for stuff to happen, this idea just came to me. It may not be funny, definently not as funny as Sama's material, but if nothing else it will help explain Vidit's "base" in Teh City, and perhaps get into his background (if GS is okay with it).


Somewhere on Rapid Island, there is a high-tech building equipped with highly advanced security systems. It's an outpost, complete with motor pool, planning center, chapel, decent, at least, living quarters, an office, and even an AI! No, it isn't Sporky's lab, nor is it Spoony's headquarters. It is the office and base of operations for the local agent in the Society for the Abolition or Incarceration of Nefarious Tyrants (S.A.I.N.T.), code named "Vidit Light".

Vidit is sitting at a desk, looking through some papers. He makes a mark on one, and puts it down. Done with his work, he leans back, and sighs.

"Sir, it isn't healthy for you to just brood in here." a female voice sounds out.

"Perhaps not, Cortana, but it may be for the best."

A hologram looking like this:



appears on the desk Vidit is at.

"I know you. Your past. Your future." she says.

"What?" Vidit asks, shooting his AI's hologram (which is, in fact, standing about a foot tall on his desk) a puzzled look.

"Sorry, that just slipped out." Cortana replied. "But I do know you, and I've been given plenty of knoweldge about human phycology. It isn't healthy for you to just sit here brooding about how lonely you are. You need interaction with peers."

"Are you suggesting that I should go out into Teh City?" Vidit replies. "Besides, what makes you think I'm lonely?"

"Perhaps you aren't, sir, but the you haven't gone far from this base since it was constructed, and the way you keep sighing like that seems to imply a sense of social isolation. Sir, shouldn't you go out to prevent negative psychological effects from setting in?"

"Perhaps," Vidit says, "but...things don't make

sense out there. It's kind of unnerving. And I'm alright for now, aren't I?" he says.

"All the more reason for you to go out, sir." Cortana insists. "You will build up your nerves. Besides, certain negative effects of your situation as it is could result in developing an unhealthy attraction to-"

Vidit already has his coat on. "Point taken." he says.

"Very well." he says. "See you...sometime. And I'm taking the glove with me, just in case."

"Have a nice evening, sir." Cortana says.
---

Teh City, as the sun sets. People bustling about, night bars lighting up their signs, and nocturnal characters beginning to come out. Vidit stands amidst it, thinking.

"Where should I go?" he says to himself. Hmmm...

Now's the part where the rest of you come in. What happens next?


A. Crystal_Rose comes running up, calling out for Hammah.
B. Tazzy comes running by, yelling for people to run for their lives.
C. There's an explosion at the Spoon Building!
D.Someone who thinks he's Vladimir Lenin attacks Vidit.
E.A sign marked "Tifa's Bar" loses some sparks.
F.Sama walks by with Riza Hawkeye.
G.Sporky comes by poring over a "grocery list".

Eddie vs. Cortana...FIGHT!

Wait, no, that's not right.

Anyways Vidit, this looks like it'll be pretty darn funny. Maybe not the random, zany funny, but the whole "are you people crazy?!" funny, which reminds me some of Monty Python.

Anyways, I got to go for G, since I am The Spork, though A is a close second.

A! =0 A, A, A! Ooooh, hey; A! A! A! A! A!

Oh, and um, A. :D

The final fantasy fan in me demands I vote for E. =3

Vidit stood there, wondering what to do next, when suddenly, he heard a female voice calling out.

“HAMMAH!!!!HAMMAH!!!HAMMAH, WHERE ARE YOU!!!”

Turing his head, Vidit noticed that the voice came from a girl wearing a pink cloak with a heart pin, and recognized her as C_R.

“Hammah! Oh, where could he be?” C_R said, looking around with concern. She didn’t see Hammah, but she DID see Vidit.

”YOU!” she said, pointing at him.

You see, it was summertime, and while it wasn’t particularly hot, most people weren’t wearing coats. The fact that Vidit was made him stand out.

C_R ran up to Vidit.

”Please, have you seen my boy?” she asked, holding out a picture of Hammah.


Now, Vidit was well aware of faces and names around Rapid Island, from Ataru to Kimi to Spork to Spoon, so he knew both C_R and Hammah. The fact that C_R was addressing Hammah as “my boy” caused a certain reaction in Vidit.

He stood there shocked for a moment, before speaking up again.

“Pardon?!” he said.

“My boy!” C_R said. “I was walking with him in the crowd, when he suddenly got lost! Ohhhhh…I hope he’s okay! These big crowds can be so cruel to a mother and her children!”

Vidit just stood there, shocked, for a moment, before speaking up.

“Miss Rose…” he said. “…are you quite alright?”

C_R turned on Vidit very slowly.

“NO!” she yelled. “I’m NOT alright! I won’t be until my Hammah is back safe and sound! And wait-a-minute…” she eyed Vidit.

“Tendency to speak formally…your physical description…and that glove! You’re that “Vidit”, aren’t you?! You work for that one organization, S.A.I.N.T.? You’re good guys, right? Please, help me find my boy!” she pleaded.

“Uhhh…” Vidit replied, as C_R gave him a pleading “puppy dog eyes” look. “How is Hammah your son?” he asked.

“I adopted him!” C_R exclaimed. “He needs a good mother who’ll turn him away from the evil influence of Sporky! Please, help me find him before it’s too late!”

Confusing as it was, Vidit decided to help.

“Very well.” he said. Too late, he realized what kind of thanks agreeing to help C_R would entail, and his eyes somewhat widened as suddenly C_R threw her arms around him and squeezed hard. Now, S.A.I.N.T. agents like Vidit are strong and well-conditioned, but so are elite Flan-I like C_R. As such, as C_R squeezed Vidit, her cry of “YOU WILL?! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!” was more or less drowned out by the “cry” of his rib cage begging for relief. He maneuvered the glove to try to pry C_R off, but before he could begin to do so, she released him from her huggle, leaving him both blushing and gasping for air.

However, who should walk by just then but Hammah’s “father”, Professor Sporky himself. He had a small list in his hands, and was reading out loud from it.

“Hmm…Avenger wants me to pick up…sulfur? What the? Oh well, must be a demon thing. For Hammah, chicken feed, dog food, cat food, carrots, gallons of water, hay, newspapers…and a mop and 52 canisters of heavy-duty soap? Oh dear. That had BETTER not mean what I think it means.”

”SPORKY!” C_R yelled, causing Sporky to look up.

“Hammah is missing! He was here with me one moment, then he was gone the next! Help me find him! You’re obligated to as his dad, especially if you Vidit’s going to help, which he is!”

Sporky, however, saw an opportunity to turn his adversaries against each other there.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Crystal_Rose.” he said. “Vidit works for a secret organization, doesn’t he? Secret organizations, even so-called “good” ones, do all kinds of shady things that they don’t want people knowing about for the “greater good”. What if S.A.I.N.T. had Vidit kidnap Hammah for some weapons test or indoctrination program? What if he’s going to double-cross you and lead you into a trap? What if he himself has just…”silenced” Hammah because he stumbled on a secret of his organization. Oh no, I think Vidit shouldn’t be helping.”

C_R may not have been a stranger to head games with Sporky, but her overprotective maternal instincts turned on Vidit. She glared at him menacingly, and he spoke up.

“What the heck!!??? Come on, Sporky’s clearly trying to trick you here, C_R! I mean, I just got here! How long has Hammah been gone?”

”Two minutes. And he went missing over there.” C_R said, pointing.

“I haven’t even been there yet tonight!” Vidit said. “You saw me walk in from a different direction! Could I have gone over there, done something to Hammah, then went around the city blocks, and walked in over the course of two minutes?!”

“Uh-oh.” Sporky said. “Sounds like you’ve put quite a bit of thought into how you could have done something to Hammah.”

C_R got a look in her eye that sent a chill down Vidit’s spine.

“C_R, listen!” he said, utterly shocked and appaled that that argument actually worked on C_R. “That argument made no sense! He didn’t even address my point!”-Vidit was yelling and practically raving in frustration by now-“Don’t let him do this to you! HE’S a villain, remember?!?!”

Sporky is grinning from ear to ear, when suddenly, Hammah’s voice reaches them.

“MOM! DAD!” he says, getting their attention.

“Hammah!” C_R cries, and embraces him. “Where were you?”

“I saw this poor little rat!” Hammah says, lifting up a red-eyed sewer rat into C_R’s face. ”Isn’t he cute?” Hammah asks. The rat snarls at C_R.

”Can I keep him, mom?” Hammah asks.

C_R doesn’t like the looks of the vicious rat.

“No.” she says.

”Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeese?”

“No.” C_R maintains. “He’s vicious. He’s probably got rabies, and he stinks. Put him back.”

”Dad?” Hammah asks, turning toward Sporky.

“For once, I agree with Crystal.” Sporky says.

”Awwwwwwww….” Hammah says and puts the rat down. It squeaks and runs off.

“Come on, back to the Flan-I temple.” C_R says, “it’s already past 8:30, you need to get back home and to bed, my little Hammah-wammah!”

”8:30! Bedtime?! You can’t do that to one of my creations!” Sporky shouts. “It’s cruel! I may be evil, but I don’t force my own children to go to bed, especially not at 8:30!”

“Little boys need their sleep!” C_R says.

Their argument continues, when suddenly, out of a bar in the area comes Tifa Lockhart, scrubbing a mug with a rag and eyeing the crowd, preparing for the evening influx of customers that drinking establishments such as hers usually receive. Suddenly, the neon sign saying “Tifa’s Bar” next to the door crackles, and part of it sends out some sparks and fizzes out. Tifa moans.

Vidit approaches and eyes the sign.

”Can I help you, ma’am?” he asks.

”Sure, if you know what you’re doing.” Tifa replies.

“Stand back.” he says. With that, he examines the broken part of the sign, holds up his glove, and snaps his fingers, at which point a blue welding flame comes out of it. He welds the sign a bit, and the broken part of it lights back up again. The flame goes out, and Vidit stands there as Tifa has suddenly a concerned look on her face and points behind Vidit, who has by this time begun to hear a light rumbling sound. Vidit rolls to the side, and sees Mojohanna sprint right by where he was standing, wrapping her arms around the area he was in. She turns to him, and yells out “ROY!”

About to glomp him, she looks closer, and actually says:

”Wait…you’re not Roy Mustang…you’re just an imposter!” she draws her chopsticks.

“Feces.” Vidit says.

The next five minutes are spent with Joha trying to whap Vidit with her chopsticks, Vidit frantically trying to block the attacks, and Tifa trying to break them up. Finally, with Vidit panting and Joha having (somewhat) gotten over the fact that Vidit ISN’T Roy Mustang, Joha speaks again.

“I’ll let you off easy this time, imposter, but the next time you try to trick me like that, I’ll show you that I only give Potatoes a light brush with these things when he annoys me!”

With that, Joha stomps off.

Tifa looks at Vidit.

”Come on in.” she says, gesturing at her bar.

”Have a round or two on the house. It’s the least I can do for someone who gets attacked by that love-crazy guardian for helping me.”

“I don’t drink al-“

“I’ve got plenty of non-alcholic drinks. A lot of Teh City’s population is teenage, you know, so it’s just better to have plenty of soda and stuff.”

”Well then, I suppose I could use a drink after that.” Vidit says. With that, he and Tifa enter the bar. Vidit takes a stool, orders a coke, and waits while Tifa gets an ice cold one.

As he sits…

A. Roy Mustang sits at a stool next to him.
B. Chris Thorndyke sits at a stool next to him.
C. Sama sits at a stool next to him.
D. Samus Aran sits at a stool next to him.
E. “What’s your story?” Tifa asks him.
F. Someone comes in demanding to know why he can’t take the ears off.

Not all those jokes are mine. Do I have any (excessive) OOC-ness?

You know...These sorta remind me of those choose your own adventure books I used to read when I was little XD Awesome!

Everything looks good to me, since I don't consider writing fiction one of my tallents I can't correct XD

Hmmmm as for what I choose:
C! About time Sama is added to the mix!

Entertaining (and probably moreso if I was more awake :heh: ). The only part that seemed kinda out-of-character was some of the interaction with CR and AGoI. I can't explain it, but something just felt a little off there? I dunno...

Anyway, as a person whose current avatar is of a character with mechanical ears, I choose F. XD

And maybe C too. :LOL:

Good story, Vidit!

I vote for.......B.

Funny things happen when bad things happen :shifty:

Mind games! Muhahaha.

"He's taller then you! How is he little?" would be my next counter!

Anyways, more hilarity, and I like how you combined everything.

C, let us see Sama!

I also vote for C. =0

I want to see B!!! XD Chris in a bar. It's funny. ...yes it is...what do you mean I've been brainwashed into unseeing the entire Sonic X series?

C is a close second however. Nice work on these XD

As Vidit sat, Tifa eventually pushed an ice cold coke (in one of those fancy glasses) in front of him. With a "Thank you.", he lifted it, and, smiling in anticipation of drinking the sweet, cold soda, brought it to his mouth, tilted the glass back, and took a drink.

Sighing with pleasure, he put it down, only to hear another sigh come from next to him.

"The usual, Sama?" Tifa asked. "You're looking low tonight. Something special, maybe?"

Indeed, Sama has taken a seat next to Vidit, and is looking depressed.

"Nah." he says. "Just a usual cake soda for now."

"Coming up." Tifa says. "So what's bothering you, anyway?" she asks, as she gets to work blending a piece of cake-flavored cake and putting it into a glass of soda.

Sama sighs.

"It's nice out this evening, Kimi gave me the night off, and Spoony's doing something with Winry. It makes me wish Blackfire was still around." he says.

Vidit gulps, and tries to drink discreetly.

"But she's NOT!" Sama says. "She's LOCKED UP! JAILED!"

"Isn't Blackfire usually out of any jail Spoon puts her in within days?" Tifa asks.

"Spoon didn't put her there!" Sama says. "Vidit did. He arrested her, and I don't know where she's gone! Why, if Vidit were here I'd...I'd...I'd ask him where she is."

"Classified information." Vidit says.

"KA BIBBLE!" Sama shouts, seeing him.

"Am I really that ugly?" Vidit asks with a grin.

"Yes! I mean no! I mean...wait, what?" Sama asks.

"Relax, Sama, I was only joking. Anyway, though, yeah, I can't tell you where Blackfire is. It's classified."

"Aw, potatoes!" Sama said. "You took her from me...and now you won't even tell me where she is? It's YOUR fault she's gone! My night is bad because of YOU!"

"Sama!" Tifa says sternly. "No fighting in MY bar!"

"Fine." Sama says. "I still blame him" he points at Vidit. "for my depression. Even though I'm actually here to find a replacement for her."

Tifa hands him his drink, and he begins to drink it, when Vidit speaks.

"Sama, I understand that you may be mad at me for what happened, but I was doing my duty. Besides, maybe it's for the best. I mean, Blackfire wasn't really-"

Sama fingers his flansaber.

"DARE YOU INSULT MISS BLACKFIRE?!" he roars.

"NO FIGHTING IN MY BAR!" Tifa yells, banging her fist onto the table and getting into a fighting stance herself.

Sama, seeing this, backs off.

"Fine, fine, I'll just ambush you as you leave." he says.

"Uhhh...Sama?" Vidit asks. "What's that stone hanging around your neck, and why is it glowing whenever you threaten me?"

"Blackfire's parting gift!" Sama says. "She told me to wear it at all times, and she'd be with me!"

"Sama?" Vidit says, eying it. "That's a Tamaranian mind/emotion stone. It enhances the rage of the wearer and provides Tamarainians with the ability to speak in the mind of the wearer. Have you considered the prospect that Blackfire may be controlling you through it?"

Sama pauses.

"Maybe you're right..." he says. "Ever since I put this on, I've been getting angrier, and been ruder to people, and...what's that, stoney?" he looks at the glowing stone. "He's lying? Okay, I won't listen to him. Why do you sound like Blackfire, stoney?... Never mind that? Just attack him? Okay!"

Vidit stood there with a look of immense frustration on his face, and readied himself to fight. Was the entirity of Teh City working to destroy his grip on sanity?

The answer to that question, in fact, was no, as Tifa snatched the stone from Sama, causing him to calm down.

"Thanks." Vidit said.

"Stoney!" Sama said. "Wait...I'm not so mad anymore...and that voice is gone...you WERE right, Vidit! But how did you know?"

"That is also classified, Sama." Vidit says. "But enough about me. How did you get here? I mean, according to the report released from Spoon's office, didn't you and Kimi disappear with that weird ghost clown...train...thing?"

They sit down and Sama puts an arm around Vidit's shoulders.

"You're getting the hang of this, my friend." he says.

"What?!" Vidit asks.

"Plot holes are a vital part of many SK&WS stories, my friend. Your ability to work with them shows how far you've come."

"Hoo boy..." says Vidit. "Well, um...thanks, but won't that remark-"

Suddenly, a wall twitches, shakes, and cries out in an extremely loud roar.

"THAT'S IT!!!!" the fourth wall shouts.

"MY DRINKS!!!!" Tifa shouts.

The wall that moved also happened to be the one with the shelves on which Tifa kept her bar's finest beers and wines, which, due to the noise and shacking, are dislodged from their shelves and shatter on the floor.

Both the fourth wall and Tifa are looking around with very angry looks.

"Aw, potatoes!" Sama says.

"Excrement." Vidit says.

Then...

A. Tifa attacks Vidit.
B.Tifa attacks Sama.
C. Tifa attacks the fourth wall.
D. Tifa breaks into tears.
E. Sama attempts to scatter "amnesia dust" around the bar.
F. The fourth wall runs away crying.

F!!! EFFFFF!! or C. C could be nice.


Cake Soda...I want somma that XD

I vote for C too.

Breaking the fourth is fun.

Yes. We have a betting pool going on too.

I have to vote for E, myself.

C!!!!! GO WITH C!!!!!!!!!!!!!