Title: Shelary's Serenade
Description: 100% More Insane Comedy
Description: 100% More Insane Comedy
GoldenSama - August 17, 2008 03:03 PM (GMT)
in
Shelary's Serenade
[Sama Says] So, a couple weeks back Cojo sends me an idea for a story. I saw a ton of room for awesomeness and I hope I managed to capture some of that awesomeness here today.
A while back, Cojo & AGOI teamed up for a story called “DR&ES: Family”. This isn't actually a sequel, (there is a sequel already), but that story does have a lot of barring on this one. If you don't completely remember it, most of the relevant information for this story is re-capped during the course of this one.
Though if for some reason you didn't read it, then you really should! Not only was it good, but it also shined some lights on the pasts of The Professor and Darth Rowen. You can find it here.
Well, I've rambled on – as usual – but now I really will shut up and let you enjoy Shelary's Serenade.
It began like any other day at the K Tower; our heroes were vegged out on their couch as cartoons played on the television. Neither of them were really paying too much attention to the TV – Kimi was reading a manga, with a stack of other manga piled up on the floor for easy access. Sama was playing the DS, occasionally shouting “Objection!” or “Take That!” as loudly as he could.
Eventually, Kimi could bite her tongue no longer. “You do realize you're not playing Phoenix Wright, right?”
“... Yeah, I know, but it's become habit.” Sama sweat dropped.
The day probably would have continued this way for the next several hours; most days did whenever there wasn't the threat of super villainy to interrupt. The two whittled away the minutes with their activities of choice until the sound of the doorbell echoed through the living room.
Neither of them moved right away.
“... Uh, Kimi-chan, I'm fighting a boss, do you think you could get that?” Sama asked as his fingers mashed the buttons and swirled the stylus around.
Kimi shook her head. “No can do, buddy. Ichigo's about to fight some Arrancar.”
“But, like, he's about to fight some Arrancar – Link IS fighting a boss. And if you leave the manga for two seconds, the outcome is still the same; if I put down the DS Link'll be torn to shreds and then Tetra will be trapped as stone forever!” Sama replied.
“Ever hear of the pause button?”
“Ever hear of a bookmark?”
It was obvious to them both that neither wanted to stop what they were doing. It might have seemed childish to some – but nobody ever said that either of them had any level of maturity.
Of course, in situations like this, Kimi usually got her way. Not because she was the superhero and Sama just the sidekick, and not even because Sama is completely unable to say 'no' to anything girls ask him to do. Nope, it was usually because of the super powers.
“Go get the DOOOOOR!” Kimi yelled, making sure to aim her mouth above the manga pages. The super-sonic-sound waves tore across the room, throwing Sama right off the couch. He managed to keep his DS from crashing into the ground, but in the confusion Link was killed by the boss.
“Noooooo!” Sama cried out, way too dramatically for the situation. He glanced over to Kimi and glared. “I hope you can sleep at night knowing Tetra's DOOMED now.”
“Eh, I'm sure you'll save her next time. Now get the door, or do I have to drink some soda?”
The threat of flames coming his way was enough motivation to get Sama sprinting out of the room, down the hallway, and towards the elevator. When he finally reached the first floor, and then the front door, he swung it open to reveal a girl.
Sama blinked. “Uh... hi.”
The girl looked to be closer in age to Kimi than Sama and had medium length brown hair. She was much shorter than Sama, only around 5'5”. She wore a white skirt with yellow trim and a matching cloak. She had a brown leather belt with several small pouches all over it.
What really caught Sama's attention, though, was the girl's eyes. They were a comfortable shade of green, with an obvious kindness in them. Yet behind the kindness, Sama caught hint of a very different emotion; sadness. The kind of deep sadness that came only from losing something precious to oneself.
“... Are you Super Kimi?” She asked, tilting her head as if she was very confused. Sama sweat dropped in response, instantly realizing this girl wasn't from the neighborhood.
“Eh? Nope. Kimi's a lot more female and a little more main character-ish. Come on, she's upstairs...” Sama's voice trailed off as he noticed something on the girl's belt. Apart from the small pouches there was a sheathe on either side of her belt; from the length and also from the hilts that stuck out, she was carrying two daggers.
The girl noticed Sama's stare and quickly scratched the back of her head, smiling sheepishly. “Oh, don't worry, I'm not an assassin or ninja or anything. I'm just looking for Super Kimi and Wonder Sama.”
Sama blinked. “Well, we do get a lot of assassins and ninjas looking for us... but knives or no knives, you don't really remind me of either of those things, so... Welcome to the K Tower. I'm Wonder Sama, and I'll introduce you to Kimi when we get upstairs.”
He paused. “Unless she's still reading manga, in which case you'll probably have to wait.”
While Sama had ushered the mysterious girl inside the Tower without much hesitation, someone else had been sneaking around. That person was also wearing white – at least, to the extent of a long lab coat.
Over his eyes he wore a pair of yellow goggles, which normally had a clear blue screen. Today, though, the screen was glowing with a infrared scanner, watching the people inside the tower move about as shimmering blotches of heat.
“Wonder who the new girl is...” Professor Spork muttered to himself as he crept about in the shadows, heading towards the K Tower. “Doesn't matter, if she gets in my way, I'll treat her the same as them.”
Kimi looked up from her manga as Sama re-entered the room before quickly looking back down. Unfortunately, for her and her curiosity to finish Bleach, the sight of the unfamiliar girl was a little too weird for her to leave it at once fleeting glance. Doing a double take, Kimi sat up on the couch and (reluctantly) put the manga down.
“So, what's the story with her?” Kimi asked, arching one of her eyebrows.
“Dunno. She's here to see you. Figured you'd have some idea.” Sama shrugged.
“So, you're Super Kimi?” The brown-haired girl asked, running over to Kimi and stopping right in front of the couch.
Kimi smirked and crossed her arms. “That's me! Let me guess – you're one of my fans, come for an autograph! Well, I can never say no to my adoring public... although, you could be a little more adoring.”
Sama shook his head. He had no clue why the girl was here, but he doubted very much that Kimi's reasoning was right.
“A-Actually, no... that's not why I'm here.” The girl blinked, seemingly a little surprised by Kimi. “The truth is, I've been searching for the two of you for a long time. Almost a year, to be precise.”
Sama's jaw dropped and Kimi whistled. “A year? Alright, now you've got my interest.” Kimi floated up off the couch and stood in front of the girl. Of course, she hovered a couple inches off the ground, as per usual.
The girl scratched her head. “It was a pretty long journey, to be honest. I knew I was looking for a crime-fighting duo consisting of a girl and a guy. Unfortunately...” She sighed a bit. “... That's all I knew for a long time. You wouldn't believe how many places I had to check.”
Kimi blinked twice after that little revelation. “No kidding? You mean to say you spent a year looking for us, and all you knew about us was our genders?”
“Yeah, it wasn't exactly fun... but finally I found some people who led me in your direction... Although that nice boy in the bad tights and cape didn't seem too excited when he gave me your names.” The girl mused.
“Did they live in a giant letter, too?” Sama asked on a hunch.
“Yes! How'd you know?” The girl asked, smiling.
“Figures.”
While Sama was now thinking about his rival, Kimi was wondering why this girl who neither of them had ever met would spend a whole year looking for them when she didn't even know their names.
“So, what's the deal? Got a dragon you need us to slay? Aliens steal your favorite prize-winning cow? Parents eaten by a giant octopus that came out of your toilet?” Kimi's theories for her presence seemed to get crazier with each new one. By the time she got to 'Your piggy bank was stolen by Canadian Maple Pirates and you need me to become a Pirate to go and stop them!', the mysterious girl was holding back laughter.
“A-Actually...” She said between snickers. “I was only looking for the two of you because I heard you know the person I'm really looking for.”
Kimi opened her mouth to ask a question, and Sama opened his mouth to cut her question off (fearing more silliness) with the obvious 'who are you really looking for', but before either of them could speak the girl's stomach gave a loud, low rumbling.
“Eh... hehehehehe, s-sorry, I ran out of money in Middleton and haven't really eaten in a week or so.” The mysterious girl blushed.
Sama jumped up, whipping a chef's hat and apron out of his pockets and putting them on. Somehow, he also was able to fit a spatula and giant butcher's cleaver in his pockets too. (It pays to be a cartoon character, ya?) He jumped into the air, imitating a dramatic anime scene.
“ALRIGHT! Then I'll cook us all a lunch fit for ROYALTY!” Sama yelled.
“AW, YEAH!” Kimi shouted in response, excited.
Sama turned towards the kitchen, which as has been implied to previously is visible from the living room. In fact, the only thing separating the two rooms is a small counter. On the living room side are several bar stools, while on the kitchen side there are no seats. Who sits down when they cook?
Sama jumped over the counter, trying to reach the kitchen. For reasons no one really knows, Sama only seems to land his jumps when fighting or running for his life; since this time was neither he slammed his foot into the counter and wound up hitting the floor face-first.
The mysterious girl sweat dropped. “Oh no, is he dead?”
A second later, Sama jumped up, ignoring the fresh blood dripping above his eyebrow. “HAMBURGER TIME!” He jumped to the fridge, threw a package of hamburger meat in the air, and started slashing it with the cleaver.
While Sama jumped around, swinging a cleaver around wildly and eventually getting the meat onto the grill. (Why do they have a grill in the kitchen? Despite having food-themed archenemies, our heroes like to have a variety of grub available.)
A few minutes passed by until Sama reappeared from the kitchen (this time using the walkway) and sat a platter of hamburgers down on the table. On one side of the table was Kimi, who instantly jumped forward to grab the top burger on the pile. The mystery girl was quicker, grabbing that one, and another with her free hand. She alternated bites on both of them, munching away.
“Well, I guess she really hasn't eaten in a week.” Sama sweat dropped. Kimi didn't respond – she had dug into the burgers too and now had her mouth full. Shrugging, the sidekick channeled his own inner Maya and started chewing.
“So, you never did mention who you are, or who it is you're hoping we can help you find.” Kimi mentioned in-between burgers.
“Oh! Sorry, I forgot. My name is Shelary. The person I'm looking for... well, h-he used to be my boyfriend... sort of... anyway, the rumor is you two know him.”
Kimi and Sama exchanged glances. “Wait, you spent a year trying to find us so you could find your lost lover? Aww...”
“Cool! We get to play matchmaker!” Sama grinned, and then sweat dropped. “... Last time I did that I almost got eaten by a rabid, hundred-foot-tall termite.”
Shelary blinked. She certainly had found a pair of weirdo ones this time, but they seemed friendly enough.
“So,” Kimi asked while she resumed the burger eating. “Whose the fella, anyway?”
Shelary's face had turned almost as red as Sama's jacket. The super hero was sure their mystery guest had tried to object to her classifying the object of her search as her 'lost lover', but Kimi had ignored it. That's when Shelary looked up and smiled.
“He was a childhood friend of mine. His name is Cojo, I heard you know him.” She beamed.
There was a pause, the sound of jaw's dropping and half-chewed burgers falling back to the table, and then:
“Whaaaaaaaaat?”
“Aww, Potatoes.”
The two exchanged glances, and then Sama stood up. “Er, Kimi, how about helping me clean the dishes in the kitchen?”
Kimi raised an eyebrow. “After three years of living together, have you ever once seen me help clean the dishes?”
Sama ignored her, grabbing the superhero by the hand and pulling her out of the room. Unfortunately...
“Um... it's none of my business, but, you forgot the dishes... and went the complete opposite direction of the kitchen.” Shelary said, although Sama had hurried Kimi upstairs before either of them could hear her.
She sighed. “I hoped that when I found the heroes I was looking for, the weird adventures would end...”
Upstairs, Kimi was grinning. There was something just a little evil about the smirk on her lips. “This is going to be so much fun! All we've got to do is get Shelary to drop one embarrassing story about Coojie and BAM! Oh, next time he tries to kill us is going to be great!”
Sama sighed, shaking his head. “Yeah, the whole 'tries to kill us' part is the problem.”
Kimi blinked. “What do you mean?”
“Yeah, she called him Cojo, describes him as a friend... I don't think she knows about the whole 'Dark Lord of the Sith' thing.” Sama replied, crossing his arms.
“Oh.” Kimi nodded, and the excitement left her face. It was true; all indications were that Shelary had no clue what had happened to her former boyfriend. Which brought on an even darker realization – who was going to tell her about 'Darth Rowen'?
Sama heaved a sigh and scratched his neck awkwardly. “I guess I'll tell her. Wonder how to start THAT conversation. 'Hey, guess whose evil now?'”
“No,” Kimi shook her head, her voice now serious. “We shouldn't tell her.”
Sama raised an eyebrow. “Hey, I realize it won't be fun, but don't you think she'll figure it out when we take her to LASOOF and he starts lobbing Chaos Spears at our heads?”
“That's not what I mean.” Kimi corrected. “Neither of us knew Coojie before he went all crazy kung-fu guy. How can we explain it to her? Nuh-uh, we're not qualified to explain this in the delicate way needed.”
Sama paused and scratched his neck. “Good point . . . but we do know someone who can. I'll go get Crystal.”
The two hurried back downstairs, both preoccupied in thought. Sama was wondering what to tell Crystal, while Kimi was worried about keeping the truth about Rowen a secret for a little while longer. It was a problem made worse by the suspicious behavior she and Sama had exhibited a moment ago.
“Is everything okay?” Shelary asked, a skeptic eyebrow raised high on her forehead.
“Oh yeah, sure, everything is awesome.” Sama lied through his teeth. “I have to go to the store real quick. We're out of, uh... gingerbread men. Gotta have some more. You understand, ya?”
Shelary blinked. “Do they even sell Gingerbread men this far away from Christmas?”
“Hmm? Oh, well... er, I know a guy who bakes them. He'll bake me some. Anyway, see you later!” With that hurried excuse, Sama high-tailed it out of the K Tower's door and took off in the direction of the Flan-I Temple.
Kimi sighed. “Well... want to play video games?”
“Actually...” Shelary began. “I'm getting the feeling that there's something you aren't telling me.”
Kimi laughed and shook her head; although she was becoming somewhat pale. “What? Don't be silly. Now come on, let's play some video games.”
“I had hoped to see Cojo pretty soon, though...” Shelary interrupted again.
“VIDEO GAMES!” Kimi shouted quite loudly, knocking Shelary onto the couch with the sound wave.
“Video games sound fun.” Shelary sweat dropped. 'These two are the weirdest people I've met yet...'
Kimi and Shelary were playing video games, Sama was on his way across town to find Crystal Rose, when suddenly our author (that's me) realized this would be a good time to throw in a couple of extra scenes.
Which is why we suddenly find ourselves interested in a small, turnip farm in Teh Country. A rural area of Rapid Island where nothing important has happened since Tazzy had amnesia a long time ago. Here, a lonely turnip farmed was sitting on his back porch, ready to eat some of his favorites foods.
The farmer was on a old swing on his porch, a small table in front of him held a glass and two bowls.
“Alright! I got my soda, in a big frosty glass... some flan, with extra syrup on top... some custard, lemon of course... and some pudd... HEY!?” The farmed looked for his third foodstuff. It was gone!
“Where's my pudding!?” He shouted.
“Uh oh!” An older man in a multicolored, fluffy sweater started to run – a pudding pack in his hand.
“D'oh! Cosby, give me back my pudding!” The farmer jumped up to give chase, but as he did so he knocked over the table. “Oh man! My other stuff!” He groaned.
He sighed and ran off, determined to get the pudding back. He thought nothing of the fact that his soda, flan and custard had just spilled into a big pile on the ground in front of his porch.
And neither should you. Seriously, this is in no way foreshadowing anything... although, deep within the core of Rapid Island, something stirred to life. Something very evil.
... But, it totally has no barring on the story. So just forget it, okay?
The door of the Flan-I Temple opened up as Sama ran inside, looking around for his friends. What he saw was a strange sight – even by his standards.
HA and Tazzy were sitting on one side of the room; each of them in-cased in their own giant, plastic bubble. The sidekick blinked twice and then approached – slowly.
“So... what's going on?” Sama asked.
“Oi!” HA groaned.
“Hi Sama!” Tazzy smiled and waved. Then she sneezed. “... Long story short, one of HA's experiments went berserk and now we've both come down with a severe case of the sneezes.”
Sama blinked once more. “Are you gonna be okay?” He asked, concerned.
“Oh, we'll be fine.” HA shrugged, leaning back. “Buuut, it's been two days, and it'll be another two before we can leave the bubbles.”
Sama tilted his head. “If all that's wrong is sneezing, why are you in bubbles?”
Tazzy pouted. “It's because SOMEONE was experimenting with extra-strong sneezing powder. We have to be in atmospheric controlled bubbles or else we'd be sneezing our head's off every few seconds.”
The sidekick sweat dropped. “Whoa. Well, at least you aren't sneezing while you're in the bubbles, right?”
“Right.” HA nodded, a coy smirk on his face. “So what brings you by? Kimi kick you out?”
Sama crossed his arms. “Ha, ha, bubble-boy.”
HA's face soured quickly. His eyes narrowed and he made a throaty, growling noise. “Call me that again and I'll disembowel you.”
Sama paled and took a step back. “Erm, I mean... I'm looking for Crystal. She's not in a bubble too, is she?”
Tazzy started to answer, but HA – suddenly wanting revenge – beat her to the punch. “Nope! She's perfectly normal and upstairs.”
The sidekick nodded. “Thanks man! I got to go find her, there's this whole crazy thing with Cojo's ex at the Tower and we need her help.” Sama hurried up the stairs without a second thought.
HA was grinning evilly.
“You could have warned him that she hasn't hugged anybody in two days...”
“I could have. And he could have decided not to make jokes.”
A few seconds passed, and then, from upstairs:
“Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama!”
“Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
This was followed by the sound of a crash, and what may have been the sound of a spine breaking under intense hugging.
GoldenSama - August 17, 2008 03:04 PM (GMT)
Back on the couch, Kimi and Shelary were bonding through video games. As lightning flew and explosions went off on the screen, the two girls had been chatting for some time. Kimi was still doing her best to dance around the one thing Shelary was most interested in – but not entirely.
She had decided to tell Shelary all about her and Sama's adventures. She'd gone down the list, recounting the stories of flansaber battles, mid-air mortal combat, giant robots, invasions from space, evil clones, armies of robots, lying buffets, time travel and the occasional (and by 'occasional', I mean 'constant') alternate dimensions they visited.
“And lately there's been this jerk in a red mask and cape who keeps harassing us with gnomes and crap. Oh, and it turns out CHoW is totally not dyed-red anymore under that mask. But so far neither of those issues have really been explained. It's starting to piss me off.” Kimi recounted events to their current point.
“Oh... wow.” Shelary blinked, having heard all of the adventures condensed into about forty-five minutes worth of story-telling time. “That sure is crazy... but those two food guys sound like the worst! That CHoW and Rowen. They sound like complete jerks.”
Kimi sweat dropped. She had, had to include Rowen in the stories – he was one of their most persistent foes. Luckily, she had called him 'Rowen' the entire time – remembering not to accidentally call him 'Coojie'.
Suddenly, just as Kimi was about to finish the level, the window to the side of the room shattered as a lab-coat clad villain jumped into the room! The Professor quickly stood up, aiming his keyblade at the two girls on the couch.
Shelary sweat dropped. “Another friend of your's?”
“Naw. He's just a lab geek who tries to kill us sometimes.”
The Professor's eye twitched behind his goggles. “Do you always have to make fun of the villains? Villains have feelings too...”
Kimi jumped off the couch, paused in mid-air for affect, and then floated over to the Professor. “Aw, shuddap key-boy. What do you want?”
Spork blinked behind his goggles. “I'm here to defeat you! What do you think I want?”
Kimi raised an eyebrow. “I don't know... usually you've got Tweedledee and Tweedledum with you when you try this stuff. Or at least some robot.”
The Professor looked like he was starting to get annoyed – which wasn't unusual. Kimi always found it easier to defeat villains if she bothered them beforehand – plus it was fun to do. “I gave the clones the day off... and I don't need a robot to beat you, today! I've been working on my magic and I've perfected my Blizzaga Technique. Prepare yourself, Super Kimi, to be frozen forever!”
Kimi yawned. Shelary was on the couch, looking nervous.
“Alright, then. Go on and dazzle me with your frost.” Kimi taunted him.
The Professor held up his Keyblade, which began to glow with a blue light, white mist rising from it. The temperature around the blade began to drop severely – and then a blast of white-and-blue light shot forth, aiming right at Kimi.
Her plan was simple; she'd already drank two cans of soda today, and she could easily spit a fireball strong enough to melt his blizzaga and cover his lab coat in suit, thus forcing him to retreat to the dry cleaners and allowing her to get back to her game.
She never got a chance to test the plan. In a flash, Shelary had jumped from the couch and thrown herself between Kimi and the Professor. There was a tremendous silver flash and when her eyes adjusted, the super hero saw a odd sight.
Shelary was standing in front of her, holding the two large, silver daggers which glimmered with a bluish-white mist. The Spork was standing in front of Shelary, his jaw now on level with his knees.
“What just happened?” The Professor blinked.
Shelary didn't look nervous at all, anymore. Her eyes were burning with determination and a warrior's spirit. She smirked and held up one of her daggers so the Spork could see. “They're special, these blades... they can absorb most anything – and then pay it back in triplicate!”
“Oh crap.” Spork sighed. He moved quickly, trying to cast a reflect – but it was too late. Shelary flicked her wrist and the dagger shot a blast of bluish-white light right into the Professor's chest, knocking him backwards – right back out the window.
“WHOA!” Kimi flew through the window, hoping to catch the Professor before he smacked into the ground below. She liked to beat the villains down, but she always made sure they were never in any mortal danger.
Luckily, as she quickly found out, the Professor was perfectly alive – and perfectly preserved. He had not hit the ground; he had froze completely long before he reached it. Instead, a giant iceberg was now sitting in front of the K-Tower. Deep inside the center was the cryogenically frozen mad scientist.
“That was SO awesome.” Kimi grinned, turning to Shelary.
“Thanks! I have been training as a warrior my entire life.” Shelary smiled sheepishly.
Meanwhile, back on the Turnip Farm...
The farmer had given up on his quest to recover his pudding. Muttering to himself, he returned to his porch to clean up the mess from before. When he got there, his eyes widened to the size of grapefruits and he gasped.
“What's all this, then?” He stammered.
The ground in front of his porch was torn open, as if something had tunneled through the earth and exploded out right at the spot where he'd spilled his foot earlier. That food had also changed; it was now a gigantic blob of custard and flan, that resembled some kind of cocoon.
The farmer rubbed his head in confusion; and then he saw something stir in the bushes. He quickly put on his scariest face and stepped forward.
“Alright! Whose there? Come on out and show yourself!”
A very odd creature emerged from the bushes. It looked like a human, but he was incredibly thin, and his skin was pale blue, as if he'd been in the snow for a long time. He was also completely devoid of hair on his head or face – and also naked.
“AH! Get back in the bush, get back in the bush!” The farmer shuddered, covering his eyes.
The creature hid back in the bush, though he did poke his head out. He opened his mouth and started to sputter a few words. “Where... Am... I?”
The farmer blinked, kept his distance, and answered: “Teh Country. About eighty miles from Teh City.”
The creature paused, as if something had jogged his memory. “... Sami... Kima...”
The farmer scratched his head. “Erm... you mean the guys on TV? Kimi and Sama?”
“Kimi...? Sama...? AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGH!” The creature seemed to be filled with hatred when he pronounced those names, throwing his arms up in the air and shooting lightning from his fingertips into the skies.
“... You, uh, okay, Mister?” The farmer blinked.
“... You ... give me ... food!” The creature demanded.
“Yeah, yeah, alright. I got some food. And I'll give you some pants too, for all our sakes.”
“Food... Pants... and... and something else...” The creature looked as if it was trying to find the right word, like his mind was still being formed.
The farmer raised an eyebrow. “What else?”
“... ... ... Soda.” The creature finally found the word.
An ominous bolt of lightning flashed overhead. But, you totally shouldn't think about that stuff right now. Since it has nothing to do with the current storyline.
While you were playing around on a farm with Bill Cosby, a turnip farmer and a unrelated storyline, lots of things happened. Sama had broke free of Crystal's pent-up huggles and explained the current situation – and the two had hurried back to the K-Tower.
After a quick introduction, Crystal took Shelary aside and explained everything to her. Naturally, you already know the story of Cojo's past, so there's not a lot of reason for me to re-tell it. HENCE THE FARM. (Now it makes sense, huh?)
“Man... she doesn't look happy.” Sama sighed, glancing towards the other room where Crystal was trying to comfort a very miserable looking Shelary.
“That stupid Wenny.” Kimi grumbled, kicking the counter (and destroying it) out of frustration. “I say we go to that stinking forest of their's and kick his ass.”
Sama shook his head. “Whoa, now. How about we wait and find out what Shelary wants to do before we kick any asses?”
Kimi muttered a response, but before Sama had time to reply back, the door opened and out walked Crystal, followed by Shelary. For someone who had just spent a year looking for someone only to discovery they had turned into a evil ninja, she looked surprisingly well.
“You want I should bash in Coojie's face with a rock?” Kimi asked, perhaps too enthusiastically.
“N-No, that won't be necessary.” Shelary replied, sweat dropping.
“She just wants to talk to him!” Crystal added; although from her tone of voice and the expression on her face, she was also dismayed by this whole situation.
Sama rubbed his chin, as if thinking. Then, he actually had a few thoughts, and shared them: “I... think I have a plan. Yeah, yeah I do. And it could work.”
Kimi raised an eyebrow. “Does it end with Rowen owing a large hospital bill?”
“Not exactly, Miss Violence. But if it doesn't work how I foresee it, then you can pound him. Anyway... I'll be back in a bit!”
Sama jumped up and, once again, cryptically left. The main difference was this time, it wasn't just Shelary who had no idea what he was really up to. She did, however, have a question.
“Do his plan's usually work?”
Kimi and Crystal remained silent, prompting a sweat drop from Shelary.
Foodstuff Forest, a place where all the trees grow a different foodstuff. There's a marshmallow tree, a chocolate tree, a peanut-butter tree, a toffee tree and a coffee tree; there's a tree that grows every kind of foodstuff imaginable. It defies the laws of nature, but it is still there. And in the midst of this law-defying forest is the fortress of a bunch of law-breaking criminals.
The Legion of Abused and Starving Obsessors Over Foodstuffs – LASOOF. Founded by The Burger King, previously led by Ronald McDonald and Aunt Jemima respectively, LASOOF was now in the control of Darth CHoW and Darth Rowen; who had earned their archenemy status through years of evil schemes.
Sneaking through the forest, wearing a cheap, plastic ninja headband, was Sama. He repeatedly muttered “nin-nin-nin” as he sneaked around the outside of LASOOF's fortress. Why? Because he'd heard a video game character do it, and he liked it. (He's a dork)
After a few minutes of sneaking about, he arrived at the edge of the Fortress, where a small bird was sitting in front of a large, red button clearly labeled 'alarm'.
“Whoa, who's there?” Toucan Sam demanded, glaring at Sama as he approached.
“Hey! You're that Toucan! ... Man, you haven't been around since the pilot episode. What have you been up to, man?” Sama asked.
“Oh, not much. I was stuck in your freezer for two years.” Toucan Sam growled, recognizing Sama and getting irritated.
“... O.” Sama blinked. “Wait, our house burnt down a bunch of times, how did you survive if you were in the freezer?”
Toucan Sam shrugged. “If a refrigerator can protect an archaeologist from a nuke, I think a freezer can protect a evil tropical bird from a fire.”
Sama blinked. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
There was an awkward pause. “Sooo... you still working with that super hero girl?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah.”
Toucan paused. “I see. Well, then I'm going to push the alarm button so Rowen and CHoW come and kill you. Sound good?”
“... Not really. Being killed would ruin my day, man.” Sama sweat dropped.
“Oh. Well, since you never locked me in a freezer for two years I guess I can do you a favor; OH WAIT YOU TOTALLY DID THAT.” Toucan Sam growled, clenching his wings tightly like fists.
Sama blinked. “Technically it was Kimi who locked you in the freezer, dude.”
“SHUT UP!” Toucan Sam shouted loudly; prompting Sama to karate chop him. Unfortunately, Sama karate chopped him and his unconscious body fell into the alarm button, activating it and causing a large cage to fall, trapping Sama.
“... I imagined that ending differently in my head.” Sama sighed.
A second later, two new figures had appeared from inside the fortress. There was a mutual sigh from both of them when they saw their new captive. The first wore a Hawaiian shirt and a Vader-ish helmet; the other was dressed in a Kung Fu Gi and a red cape.
“What are you doing here?” CHoW sighed, feeling a headache coming on suddenly.
“Whoa! CHoW, hold on.” Rowen interrupted before Sama could reply. “We always do the same dance with the heroes. We talk to them. And then they say stupid things, we get distracted by the idiocy, and then they kick our asses.”
CHoW blinked. “You know what? You're right. Well, in that case, just blast him.”
“WAIT!” Sama yelled, surprised by the villain's newfound excellent idea.
“Nope.” Rowen smirked, powering up a chaos spear in his hand. A few more seconds and he could have impaled Sama, finished him off and been done with it. Unfortunately, just as he was ready to strike, the sidekick said something that made Rowen feel like all of his bones had just turned to jelly.
“That's too bad... Shelary will be disappointed if I don't report back to her.”
Rowen's chaos spear disappeared from his hand, his face turned as pale as a sheet and for a moment CHoW moved forward to catch his friend, afraid he might pass out. Seconds later, Rowen did not pass out – instead a dark aura spread over his body, his eyes narrowing into slits and his teeth gritted.
“How do you know Shelary!?” Rowen demanded, his voice full of a kind of anger that Sama had never before heard.
A smirk crossed Sama's face. “You DO still care about her!”
Rowen paled up again. “W-W-W-W-What!? I never said that!”
Sama was grinning like a Cheshire cat, or an insane clown killer (you choose your scary-smile metaphor today) and said: “You didn't have to, buddy. Anyway... she showed up at the Tower today. I gotta say, she's pretty nice... and kind of cute.”
He had to duck to avoid the Chaos Spear that almost took his head off. That, however, only encouraged him to push more buttons. “So, like, she's at home with Kimi now. I gotta say, those two really hit it off. They're becoming fast friends.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Rowen fell-over, a look of sheer horror on his face. “No, no, no, no! My ex cannot be friends with the person I'm trying to kill! That's... That's... That's way too mean, man!”
CHoW quickly jumped to his friend's aide. “Hey, come on man... it's not THAT bad.”
Rowen glared.
The Sith Lord sweat dropped (which is hard to tell, what with the helmet) and said: “Okay... it is bad, but, it could be worse. I mean, at least it isn't Rose whose hanging out with her. You know how much she loves to tell embarrassing stories about her former pupils.”
“Actually...” Sama coughed. “Crystal, um, is there too...”
“OH COME ON, THAT'S TOO MUCH!” Rowen was on the verge of breaking down. That could mean he'd start to tear up; or perhaps he'd destroy half a continent. It's one of those things that you just don't know till it happens.
Rowen groaned. “That's it, man. Game over. I'm going to have to change my name. Move to Mexico. I'll be Juan Pablo. I can get a job as a Luchadore.”
“Look, nobody is moving to Mexico!” CHoW shook his head. “Rowen, snap out of it! This is just another annoying thing. We'll just hang out in the forest for a few days, wait for the dimension to be torn apart or something, and then everybody will forget about this.”
Sama put a hand on Rowen's shoulder to comfort him. “Hey, man. Come on. It'll be alright. Tell you what? I know Shelary is confused and upset because of the whole 'Dark Lord of the Sith' deal. How about I make you guys reservations at the nicest restaurant in town and you two can sit and talk. Clear the air, and all.”
“How'd you get out of the cage!?” CHoW blinked, but he was ignored.
“... I... That... Fine.” Rowen agreed; to the surprise of both CHoW and Sama. “Make the reservations – but make it for the most EXPENSIVE restaurant in town. I don't want Kimi OR Crystal to be able to afford to show up and spy on me.”
Sama crossed his arms. “Come on, you really think either of them would want to spy on you? . . . I'll use CHoW's credit card to make the reservations.”
CHoW glared at him. “Like I'd give my card to yo-- HEY! Where's my wallet!?”
“GottagoI'lltellShelarythegoodnews!” Sama called as he ran, ducking from the lightning bolts CHoW was shooting at him.
Rowen sunk down against a tree, hugging his knees to his chest. Everyone else might be having a good time, or at least trying to kill thieving heroes with electricity.
Rowen, however, could not think about that. All his mind could think of was . . . the past. The days of his life before he became a Flan-I. The days before he lived at the Temple. The time when he was part of an elite group of children who were trained to be the greatest warriors in the world.
The faces of his 'family' flashed through his mind. A few months ago, he had been forced to face his past. He and the Professor had wound up in another world, where the Professor's Sister had orchestrated a plot. There, Rowen had faced memories of many of his 'family'.
Saven... Taya... Cate... he'd seen so many of them, then. It had been a horrible experience for Rowen, who was intent on putting the past behind him. He had chosen, after all, to be the one who brought destruction to Super Kimi and Wonder Sama.
Now, though, it was not a matter of his old family. It was not his old friends and rivals who were haunting him.
It was Shelary. The person he used to...
“NO!” Rowen growled in anger, slamming his fist into a nearby tree. Lightning from his Chidori knocked the tree to the ground, burning it up in flames afterwards.
He sighed. “This can't be happening.”
The mood in the K-Tower was glum, to say the least. Shelary was still in disbelief about Cojo, and had asked Kimi and Crystal both if 'they were sure'. Luckily, she'd only asked them a few hundred times.
The three were on the couch now. Shelary in the middle, her chin in her hands and her elbows resting on her legs. To her left was Kimi, who was using the back of the couch like a pillow, but actually lying in mid-air. On her right was Crystal, who looked downtrodden by the whole thing.
“I just can't believe it.” Shelary repeated, shaking her head. “At least not until I hear it from him.”
“And what then?” Kimi asked quietly.
“Excuse me?” Shelary wasn't sure what she meant, raising an eyebrow.
“What will you do if he really is the way we describe?” Kimi asked once more, turning around so she was right-side up and meeting Shelary's gaze. As the two peered into each other's eyes, Kimi saw something else. She could see Shelary's sadness, but she also saw a new emotion.
A kind of... conviction. Something she was clearly passionate about.
“... If he's really gone to evil... then --”
“I'm back!” The door opened and Sama came in, clearly showing up at this moment only as a way of distracting the reader from Shelary's answer. Yep, this time he's distracting YOU. Ironic, isn't it?
“... Worse. Timing. Ever.” Kimi growled, glaring at her Sidekick.
“Geez, you girl's look pretty down. Luckily, I took care of it.” Sama nodded. “Rowen – um, Cojo – agreed to meet you tonight at Mr. Fancy's Restaurant. So you can discuss everything in a neutral environment.”
“... He asked her out?” Kimi blinked.
“You completely ignored most of what I just said, didn't you?” Sama blinked.
“I usually do.” Kimi admitted.
Shelary paused for a moment, and then she stood up. She didn't sound particularly happy, nor did she sound as miserable as one might expect. She merely had a monotone voice, as if what was going on what something she did not expect. “I'll go get ready, then.”
With that, she hurried out of the room, towards the front door. She paused and turned around to look at them. “Thank you... all of you. It was nice meeting you. I'm sure we'll see each other again.” She bowed, and then left.
Instantly, both Crystal and Kimi stood up. “Sama!” They said in unison, then paused.
Crystal continued. “You made reservations at that restaurant for all of us too, right? So we can go and spy on them?”
“He better have.” Kimi said, in a more threatening tone. “Otherwise, I'm breaking his face.”
Sama shook his head. “Break away, Kimi-chan! But as a matter of principal, I can't very well let you two snoop. And don't think about making reservations, because they're super expensive. You'd have to be leader of an evil empire, or mayor of a city to afford a table there.”
It took him a second to realize the flaw in what he'd just said, but he eventually did.
“Aw, Potatoes...”
Mr. Fancy's Restaurant is the most prestigious, glamorous, high-class restaurant in all of Teh City. So fancy, is this one place, that it's fancier than Teh Fancy Place, and usually places called 'Teh' are the top in Teh City.
The dining room is on top of a giant tower; the top floor is completely circular. The building looks like an ordinary skyscraper, with a UFO parked on top. The top floor is not actually a UFO, just very round and very large.
Getting inside is difficult. There's always a huge waiting list and usually over a hundred people crowd the narrow hallway outside the elevator to get in. A very snooty host stands at a small podium and allows a fair few to get inside.
Rowen had already come and, thanks to the reservation, was at his table. Shelary had not yet shown up.
On the ground, Super Kimi was trying her best to get to the top.
“Hi! I'm Super Kimi. You know, the person who saves your life on a routine basis. How about letting me up?”
“No.”
“Did I mention I'm famous and beloved by everyone in Teh City?”
“Did I mention I don't care?”
“... You realize I could pick you up, fly you into space, and toss you into the sun, right?”
“Go ahead. I've got sunblock.”
Kimi had eventually given up – on her idea of getting in as 'herself'. Luckily, she had a plan B – and it meant a brilliant disguise.
Ten minutes later, the owner – Mr. Fancy himself – was sitting a couple down at a table.
“We're SO happy to have you here, Mr. Mayor.”
“Yep, that's me, the Mayor.” It was not Spoony, but Sama who said these words. “And this... well, this is my girlfriend Winry.”
It was not Winry who sat across from him, but Kimi. Although she was holding a wrench. She'd threatened to embed it in Sama's skull if he didn't help her get into the dining room somehow.
So, one (more) stolen wallet, a set of disguises (which consisted of a wrench for Kimi and a fake pony-tail for Sama) and one fake-date later and our heroes were now in the dining room.
“You know, it's possible that instead of talking about stuff with Shelary, Rowen will take one look our direction and start lobbing explosive energy around the room.” Sama pointed out, still against the spying idea.
“We're in disguise, remember?” Kimi reminded him; she was being sarcastic, of course.
Sama sighed. “At least only one of you could sneak in this way.”
“Hi! I'll be your waitress for today, can I take your order?”
The waitress had arrived, and just as Sama turned to give her his order, he sweat dropped. As you've probably guessed, the waitress was Crystal, smiling at the two and giving them a wink.
“Y-You got a job here?” Sama stammered.
“Yep! Turns out the usual waitress got into a crazy accident on the way to work. She said some girl in a bubble threw a mattress at her car! Can you believe that?” Crystal grinned.
“Oh! So Tazzy finally mastered mattressbending? Cool!” Kimi chimed in, also smirking.
“... What the heck is Mattressbending?”
The two chatting girls and the guy who's plans were foiled all looked up; suddenly pale and wide-eyed. Kimi and Sama were sitting a booth on one side of the room, and in the booth next to them the occupants had just turned around to look at them.
There were two of them. A girl with blond pig-tails and: CHoW.
“What are you doing here?” Kimi demanded at once, cracking her knuckles.
CHoW shrugged. “Don't know what you mean. I'm just here on a date. I'm not spying or anything.”
“Hello! I'm Heidi.” The girl nodded.
“... Aren't you the girl from the Hot Chocolate box?” Sama blinked, recognizing CHoW's date.
“Why yes, I am!” Heidi nodded.
CHoW blinked as the three heroes gave him funny looks. “What? WHAT? I'm not allowed to have a girlfriend? Oh, just because I'm a criminally-insane super villain? Bite my shiny metal hat!”
“HEY! Don't infringe on my copyright!”
Heads turned once again, this time to the booth on the other side of Kimi and Sama's. A large blue robot was sitting there – and next to him was a humanoid woman. The next sound that was heard was of a jaw dropping and smacking into the table.
“What... What are you two doing here?” Sama stammered.
Bender and Blackfire were sitting at the table beside them.
“... Well, this is kind of awkward.” Blackfire coughed.
Sama's eye twitched. “Oh come on! That's... That's so messed up.”
“Yep.” Bender agreed, taking a puff of his cigar and then blowing a smoke ring in the sidekick's face. “Sucks to be you.”
Sama growled. “Bender, you... and... I... You guys are --”
On the floor, there was a very small table. At that table were two blue figures were eating when one of them – who wore glasses – pointed up at the table containing the heroes.
“Papa Smurf! Papa Smurf! That boy said a bad word!”
“... Brainy, stop being a tattle-tale.” Papa Smurf shook his head.
“Yo! Dumbasses – they're here!” CHoW called towards the two tables behind him. Kimi, Sama, Crystal, Bender and Blackfire all paused and looked to the right. In the middle of the room (of course) was a specially-reserved table.
Rowen and Shelary had just shown up, and each were sitting at the table; staring at one another.
[.....]
For a full two minutes, they just sat there. Staring at one another. Neither of them speaking, neither one moving. Perhaps, they had both froze up from seeing each other for the first time after so long. Maybe they were both thinking, trying to find the exactly perfect words. Or maybe it was just because six people and a robot were all staring at them intently from across the room.
“... Could you all just turn around and eat your food?” Rowen asked irritably, glaring at the group.
“Nope. You're interesting.” Kimi replied back.
Rowen's hand flashed with lightning for a split-second before he remembered why he was here and dissipated it. It was too late, though, because Shelary had seen it. Her face fell and she looked down at the fancy tablecloth in front of her.
“... It's true, isn't it Cojo?” She asked.
“...”
“... You... You're part of LASOOF, aren't you?”
“...”
“Why!?” Shelary suddenly yelled, and for a second her voice cracked. “What would make you betray everything your family like that!?”
“... It's not as black and white as you make it sound.” Rowen hissed in response, and his voice was as cold as ice and as sharp as venom. It was such a change from the voice Shelary had remembered, and it took her by surprise.
“How could you, Cojo?” Shelary asked once more, and her vast eyes seemed to teer up. “You... you were the best out of all of us! You were supposed to become a Flan-I! You were supposed to be the greatest success story of the whole group!”
“I'm not that person anymore. Those things don't matter to me anymore.” Rowen replied, still as cold as before.
“'Those things'? You mean, your vows? Your principals? Your morals? Do you mean your family--”
“THEY AREN'T MY FAMILY!” Rowen shouted, clenching his fists. “None of them are! Not the Flan-I, not our group – NOT YOU!”
“Cojo, I know you don't mean that!” Shelary roared back, tears quite visible on her cheeks now.
“Don't call me Cojo! Cojo is dead! I am Rowen – I AM DARTH ROWEN!” He stood up and yelled at full volume. After a second, he paused. His anger was coursing through his veins like a river, but something else had just bubbled to the surface. A kind of feeling he did not fully understand.
Shelary had fallen completely silent. She leaned back in her chair, hair covering her eyes. The tears had stopped dripping down her cheeks, and rather than sadness, there was a new aura surrounding her.
“... Then, you are lost.”
Rowen's face changed once more. He was halfway between confusion and halfway amusement. “Shel, don't. You don't want to open that door.”
“What choice do I have? ... It's true. You're a traitor. You've betrayed everything you were taught.” Shelary looked up at him, locking eyes one more time. “I... I don't want to... but...”
What happened next, happened in the blink of an eye. Rowen jumped back as the chair he had been in was sliced in half – Shelary had jumped from her chair and one of her silver dagger's ripped the chair apart.
Rowen spun around and aimed a kick at her; but she avoided it and slashed her daggers at him; almost taking a chunk of flesh from his arm in the process. Rowen jumped and threw a chaos spear at her; which she absorbed into her dagger.
Rowen flushed. He jumped away, but she threw the Chaos Spear back at him – which hit the ninja dead on in the chest; consuming his body in green light and knocking him to the ground. He groaned as Shelary jumped over him – but he quickly disappeared before she could attack again.
By now, the room was in chaos. Tables had been overturned and everyone (aside from the super-powered people) had fled. When Rowen reappeared, he was above her. A bright light consumed his hand and it formed into a massive blast.
Shelary realized that her dagger might not be able to block it. She jumped away and avoided the blast – and when she did, Kimi and Sama exchanged glances.
“Did she just dodge that?” Sama asked.
“... Yeah. ... He's not even really trying!” Kimi grinned. “Aww, he likes her too much to kill her!”
“So, we should probably...”
“YEP!”
Kimi shot forward like a bullet, crashed into Rowen and sent him flying into a wall. Normally he'd have used Chaos Control to escape – but he did not. Sama zapped him with emerald lightning and Rowen passed out.
He'd thrown the fight.
CHoW had stepped in once Rowen was unconscious; the Hot Chocolate Girl threw some exploding marshmallows and they had escaped, getting Rowen out with them as well. Afterwards, eventually Kimi and Sama convinced Shelary to come back with them to the Tower.
They explained their theory to her. Her answer was something that shocked them.
“Yeah, I know he wasn't really trying.” Shelary grinned. “I trained with him, remember?”
“Awesome.” Kimi smirked. “So... this means...”
“Part of Cojo totally still likes Shelary.” Sama confirmed, nodding his head.
“Well, thanks!” Shelary smiled at them both. “I'll be going now.” She turned towards the door, but they both jumped in front of her.
“HOLD ON!” Kimi yelled, blocking the way.
“Yeah, where you going?” Sama raised an eyebrow.
Shelary blinked. “... What's up?”
“I figured you'd be living here. With us.” Kimi blinked. “We have over two hundred rooms and only, like, five people live here.”
Shelary paused for a long second, thinking about everything that had happened. All the wacky, weird and heart-wrenching things that she'd been a part of over the last day. Living with Kimi and Sama was sure to bring on even more insanity.
... but, it might be her only chance to figure out what was really going on in Rowen's mind.
“... I'll do it!” She smiled.
Sama coughed. “I like that idea, but... maybe Shelary should come back in a few days or something.”
Kimi raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“... Well, I mean... obviously this story takes place before 'Clowns Will Eat Me'.”
Kimi paused. “How come?”
“... Because at the end of that, we were blasted to a different world by that weirdo in the Crimson Cape. So this HAS to come first, you know?” Sama raised an eyebrow.
Kimi tilted her head for a moment. “That makes sense... and I guess if Shelary moved in now, it would make it weird as to why she wasn't mentioned at all in that story.”
“Right! So now we have a solution that prevents plot holes and makes everyone happy.” Sama nodded.
“I don't want to interrupt, again... but...” Shelary got their attention; as did the breeze. Kimi and Sama looked to her, and then each of them sweatdropped. The wall behind Shelary had just fallen out of the building. You can guess which wall it was.
[END]
“HOLD IT!”
Back on the farm, the creature (who had borrowed some pants from the farmer and was now sitting on his porch with him) suddenly yelled out.
“You can't just bring me back to life and then forget about me!” The creature demanded. “When do I show up again?”
The answer? Later. So don't worry about that. Oh; and eventually Avenger came by, defrosted the Professor, and he's now back at the lab recovering with some soup. So don't worry, he'll be fine.
Oh, and Tazzy and HA are fine too. They're out of the bubbles. Yay!
... Of course, Kimi and Sama were eventually attacked by Ronald McDonald and some Phantom Clowns things. But more on the set-up of that, the creature and the future in the next story which also takes place before the current arc: Joha's B-Day gift!
See ya, Space Cowboy.
She had decided to tell Shelary all about her and Sama's adventures. She'd gone down the list, recounting the stories of flansaber battles, mid-air mortal combat, giant robots, invasions from space, evil clones, armies of robots, lying buffets, time travel and the occasional (and by 'occasional', I mean 'constant') alternate dimensions they visited.
“And lately there's been this jerk in a red mask and cape who keeps harassing us with gnomes and crap. Oh, and it turns out CHoW is totally not dyed-red anymore under that mask. But so far neither of those issues have really been explained. It's starting to piss me off.” Kimi recounted events to their current point.
“Oh... wow.” Shelary blinked, having heard all of the adventures condensed into about forty-five minutes worth of story-telling time. “That sure is crazy... but those two food guys sound like the worst! That CHoW and Rowen. They sound like complete jerks.”
Kimi sweat dropped. She had, had to include Rowen in the stories – he was one of their most persistent foes. Luckily, she had called him 'Rowen' the entire time – remembering not to accidentally call him 'Coojie'.
Suddenly, just as Kimi was about to finish the level, the window to the side of the room shattered as a lab-coat clad villain jumped into the room! The Professor quickly stood up, aiming his keyblade at the two girls on the couch.
Shelary sweat dropped. “Another friend of your's?”
“Naw. He's just a lab geek who tries to kill us sometimes.”
The Professor's eye twitched behind his goggles. “Do you always have to make fun of the villains? Villains have feelings too...”
Kimi jumped off the couch, paused in mid-air for affect, and then floated over to the Professor. “Aw, shuddap key-boy. What do you want?”
Spork blinked behind his goggles. “I'm here to defeat you! What do you think I want?”
Kimi raised an eyebrow. “I don't know... usually you've got Tweedledee and Tweedledum with you when you try this stuff. Or at least some robot.”
The Professor looked like he was starting to get annoyed – which wasn't unusual. Kimi always found it easier to defeat villains if she bothered them beforehand – plus it was fun to do. “I gave the clones the day off... and I don't need a robot to beat you, today! I've been working on my magic and I've perfected my Blizzaga Technique. Prepare yourself, Super Kimi, to be frozen forever!”
Kimi yawned. Shelary was on the couch, looking nervous.
“Alright, then. Go on and dazzle me with your frost.” Kimi taunted him.
The Professor held up his Keyblade, which began to glow with a blue light, white mist rising from it. The temperature around the blade began to drop severely – and then a blast of white-and-blue light shot forth, aiming right at Kimi.
Her plan was simple; she'd already drank two cans of soda today, and she could easily spit a fireball strong enough to melt his blizzaga and cover his lab coat in suit, thus forcing him to retreat to the dry cleaners and allowing her to get back to her game.
She never got a chance to test the plan. In a flash, Shelary had jumped from the couch and thrown herself between Kimi and the Professor. There was a tremendous silver flash and when her eyes adjusted, the super hero saw a odd sight.
Shelary was standing in front of her, holding the two large, silver daggers which glimmered with a bluish-white mist. The Spork was standing in front of Shelary, his jaw now on level with his knees.
“What just happened?” The Professor blinked.
Shelary didn't look nervous at all, anymore. Her eyes were burning with determination and a warrior's spirit. She smirked and held up one of her daggers so the Spork could see. “They're special, these blades... they can absorb most anything – and then pay it back in triplicate!”
“Oh crap.” Spork sighed. He moved quickly, trying to cast a reflect – but it was too late. Shelary flicked her wrist and the dagger shot a blast of bluish-white light right into the Professor's chest, knocking him backwards – right back out the window.
“WHOA!” Kimi flew through the window, hoping to catch the Professor before he smacked into the ground below. She liked to beat the villains down, but she always made sure they were never in any mortal danger.
Luckily, as she quickly found out, the Professor was perfectly alive – and perfectly preserved. He had not hit the ground; he had froze completely long before he reached it. Instead, a giant iceberg was now sitting in front of the K-Tower. Deep inside the center was the cryogenically frozen mad scientist.
“That was SO awesome.” Kimi grinned, turning to Shelary.
“Thanks! I have been training as a warrior my entire life.” Shelary smiled sheepishly.
Meanwhile, back on the Turnip Farm...
The farmer had given up on his quest to recover his pudding. Muttering to himself, he returned to his porch to clean up the mess from before. When he got there, his eyes widened to the size of grapefruits and he gasped.
“What's all this, then?” He stammered.
The ground in front of his porch was torn open, as if something had tunneled through the earth and exploded out right at the spot where he'd spilled his foot earlier. That food had also changed; it was now a gigantic blob of custard and flan, that resembled some kind of cocoon.
The farmer rubbed his head in confusion; and then he saw something stir in the bushes. He quickly put on his scariest face and stepped forward.
“Alright! Whose there? Come on out and show yourself!”
A very odd creature emerged from the bushes. It looked like a human, but he was incredibly thin, and his skin was pale blue, as if he'd been in the snow for a long time. He was also completely devoid of hair on his head or face – and also naked.
“AH! Get back in the bush, get back in the bush!” The farmer shuddered, covering his eyes.
The creature hid back in the bush, though he did poke his head out. He opened his mouth and started to sputter a few words. “Where... Am... I?”
The farmer blinked, kept his distance, and answered: “Teh Country. About eighty miles from Teh City.”
The creature paused, as if something had jogged his memory. “... Sami... Kima...”
The farmer scratched his head. “Erm... you mean the guys on TV? Kimi and Sama?”
“Kimi...? Sama...? AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGH!” The creature seemed to be filled with hatred when he pronounced those names, throwing his arms up in the air and shooting lightning from his fingertips into the skies.
“... You, uh, okay, Mister?” The farmer blinked.
“... You ... give me ... food!” The creature demanded.
“Yeah, yeah, alright. I got some food. And I'll give you some pants too, for all our sakes.”
“Food... Pants... and... and something else...” The creature looked as if it was trying to find the right word, like his mind was still being formed.
The farmer raised an eyebrow. “What else?”
“... ... ... Soda.” The creature finally found the word.
An ominous bolt of lightning flashed overhead. But, you totally shouldn't think about that stuff right now. Since it has nothing to do with the current storyline.
While you were playing around on a farm with Bill Cosby, a turnip farmer and a unrelated storyline, lots of things happened. Sama had broke free of Crystal's pent-up huggles and explained the current situation – and the two had hurried back to the K-Tower.
After a quick introduction, Crystal took Shelary aside and explained everything to her. Naturally, you already know the story of Cojo's past, so there's not a lot of reason for me to re-tell it. HENCE THE FARM. (Now it makes sense, huh?)
“Man... she doesn't look happy.” Sama sighed, glancing towards the other room where Crystal was trying to comfort a very miserable looking Shelary.
“That stupid Wenny.” Kimi grumbled, kicking the counter (and destroying it) out of frustration. “I say we go to that stinking forest of their's and kick his ass.”
Sama shook his head. “Whoa, now. How about we wait and find out what Shelary wants to do before we kick any asses?”
Kimi muttered a response, but before Sama had time to reply back, the door opened and out walked Crystal, followed by Shelary. For someone who had just spent a year looking for someone only to discovery they had turned into a evil ninja, she looked surprisingly well.
“You want I should bash in Coojie's face with a rock?” Kimi asked, perhaps too enthusiastically.
“N-No, that won't be necessary.” Shelary replied, sweat dropping.
“She just wants to talk to him!” Crystal added; although from her tone of voice and the expression on her face, she was also dismayed by this whole situation.
Sama rubbed his chin, as if thinking. Then, he actually had a few thoughts, and shared them: “I... think I have a plan. Yeah, yeah I do. And it could work.”
Kimi raised an eyebrow. “Does it end with Rowen owing a large hospital bill?”
“Not exactly, Miss Violence. But if it doesn't work how I foresee it, then you can pound him. Anyway... I'll be back in a bit!”
Sama jumped up and, once again, cryptically left. The main difference was this time, it wasn't just Shelary who had no idea what he was really up to. She did, however, have a question.
“Do his plan's usually work?”
Kimi and Crystal remained silent, prompting a sweat drop from Shelary.
Foodstuff Forest, a place where all the trees grow a different foodstuff. There's a marshmallow tree, a chocolate tree, a peanut-butter tree, a toffee tree and a coffee tree; there's a tree that grows every kind of foodstuff imaginable. It defies the laws of nature, but it is still there. And in the midst of this law-defying forest is the fortress of a bunch of law-breaking criminals.
The Legion of Abused and Starving Obsessors Over Foodstuffs – LASOOF. Founded by The Burger King, previously led by Ronald McDonald and Aunt Jemima respectively, LASOOF was now in the control of Darth CHoW and Darth Rowen; who had earned their archenemy status through years of evil schemes.
Sneaking through the forest, wearing a cheap, plastic ninja headband, was Sama. He repeatedly muttered “nin-nin-nin” as he sneaked around the outside of LASOOF's fortress. Why? Because he'd heard a video game character do it, and he liked it. (He's a dork)
After a few minutes of sneaking about, he arrived at the edge of the Fortress, where a small bird was sitting in front of a large, red button clearly labeled 'alarm'.
“Whoa, who's there?” Toucan Sam demanded, glaring at Sama as he approached.
“Hey! You're that Toucan! ... Man, you haven't been around since the pilot episode. What have you been up to, man?” Sama asked.
“Oh, not much. I was stuck in your freezer for two years.” Toucan Sam growled, recognizing Sama and getting irritated.
“... O.” Sama blinked. “Wait, our house burnt down a bunch of times, how did you survive if you were in the freezer?”
Toucan Sam shrugged. “If a refrigerator can protect an archaeologist from a nuke, I think a freezer can protect a evil tropical bird from a fire.”
Sama blinked. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
There was an awkward pause. “Sooo... you still working with that super hero girl?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah.”
Toucan paused. “I see. Well, then I'm going to push the alarm button so Rowen and CHoW come and kill you. Sound good?”
“... Not really. Being killed would ruin my day, man.” Sama sweat dropped.
“Oh. Well, since you never locked me in a freezer for two years I guess I can do you a favor; OH WAIT YOU TOTALLY DID THAT.” Toucan Sam growled, clenching his wings tightly like fists.
Sama blinked. “Technically it was Kimi who locked you in the freezer, dude.”
“SHUT UP!” Toucan Sam shouted loudly; prompting Sama to karate chop him. Unfortunately, Sama karate chopped him and his unconscious body fell into the alarm button, activating it and causing a large cage to fall, trapping Sama.
“... I imagined that ending differently in my head.” Sama sighed.
A second later, two new figures had appeared from inside the fortress. There was a mutual sigh from both of them when they saw their new captive. The first wore a Hawaiian shirt and a Vader-ish helmet; the other was dressed in a Kung Fu Gi and a red cape.
“What are you doing here?” CHoW sighed, feeling a headache coming on suddenly.
“Whoa! CHoW, hold on.” Rowen interrupted before Sama could reply. “We always do the same dance with the heroes. We talk to them. And then they say stupid things, we get distracted by the idiocy, and then they kick our asses.”
CHoW blinked. “You know what? You're right. Well, in that case, just blast him.”
“WAIT!” Sama yelled, surprised by the villain's newfound excellent idea.
“Nope.” Rowen smirked, powering up a chaos spear in his hand. A few more seconds and he could have impaled Sama, finished him off and been done with it. Unfortunately, just as he was ready to strike, the sidekick said something that made Rowen feel like all of his bones had just turned to jelly.
“That's too bad... Shelary will be disappointed if I don't report back to her.”
Rowen's chaos spear disappeared from his hand, his face turned as pale as a sheet and for a moment CHoW moved forward to catch his friend, afraid he might pass out. Seconds later, Rowen did not pass out – instead a dark aura spread over his body, his eyes narrowing into slits and his teeth gritted.
“How do you know Shelary!?” Rowen demanded, his voice full of a kind of anger that Sama had never before heard.
A smirk crossed Sama's face. “You DO still care about her!”
Rowen paled up again. “W-W-W-W-What!? I never said that!”
Sama was grinning like a Cheshire cat, or an insane clown killer (you choose your scary-smile metaphor today) and said: “You didn't have to, buddy. Anyway... she showed up at the Tower today. I gotta say, she's pretty nice... and kind of cute.”
He had to duck to avoid the Chaos Spear that almost took his head off. That, however, only encouraged him to push more buttons. “So, like, she's at home with Kimi now. I gotta say, those two really hit it off. They're becoming fast friends.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Rowen fell-over, a look of sheer horror on his face. “No, no, no, no! My ex cannot be friends with the person I'm trying to kill! That's... That's... That's way too mean, man!”
CHoW quickly jumped to his friend's aide. “Hey, come on man... it's not THAT bad.”
Rowen glared.
The Sith Lord sweat dropped (which is hard to tell, what with the helmet) and said: “Okay... it is bad, but, it could be worse. I mean, at least it isn't Rose whose hanging out with her. You know how much she loves to tell embarrassing stories about her former pupils.”
“Actually...” Sama coughed. “Crystal, um, is there too...”
“OH COME ON, THAT'S TOO MUCH!” Rowen was on the verge of breaking down. That could mean he'd start to tear up; or perhaps he'd destroy half a continent. It's one of those things that you just don't know till it happens.
Rowen groaned. “That's it, man. Game over. I'm going to have to change my name. Move to Mexico. I'll be Juan Pablo. I can get a job as a Luchadore.”
“Look, nobody is moving to Mexico!” CHoW shook his head. “Rowen, snap out of it! This is just another annoying thing. We'll just hang out in the forest for a few days, wait for the dimension to be torn apart or something, and then everybody will forget about this.”
Sama put a hand on Rowen's shoulder to comfort him. “Hey, man. Come on. It'll be alright. Tell you what? I know Shelary is confused and upset because of the whole 'Dark Lord of the Sith' deal. How about I make you guys reservations at the nicest restaurant in town and you two can sit and talk. Clear the air, and all.”
“How'd you get out of the cage!?” CHoW blinked, but he was ignored.
“... I... That... Fine.” Rowen agreed; to the surprise of both CHoW and Sama. “Make the reservations – but make it for the most EXPENSIVE restaurant in town. I don't want Kimi OR Crystal to be able to afford to show up and spy on me.”
Sama crossed his arms. “Come on, you really think either of them would want to spy on you? . . . I'll use CHoW's credit card to make the reservations.”
CHoW glared at him. “Like I'd give my card to yo-- HEY! Where's my wallet!?”
“GottagoI'lltellShelarythegoodnews!” Sama called as he ran, ducking from the lightning bolts CHoW was shooting at him.
Rowen sunk down against a tree, hugging his knees to his chest. Everyone else might be having a good time, or at least trying to kill thieving heroes with electricity.
Rowen, however, could not think about that. All his mind could think of was . . . the past. The days of his life before he became a Flan-I. The days before he lived at the Temple. The time when he was part of an elite group of children who were trained to be the greatest warriors in the world.
The faces of his 'family' flashed through his mind. A few months ago, he had been forced to face his past. He and the Professor had wound up in another world, where the Professor's Sister had orchestrated a plot. There, Rowen had faced memories of many of his 'family'.
Saven... Taya... Cate... he'd seen so many of them, then. It had been a horrible experience for Rowen, who was intent on putting the past behind him. He had chosen, after all, to be the one who brought destruction to Super Kimi and Wonder Sama.
Now, though, it was not a matter of his old family. It was not his old friends and rivals who were haunting him.
It was Shelary. The person he used to...
“NO!” Rowen growled in anger, slamming his fist into a nearby tree. Lightning from his Chidori knocked the tree to the ground, burning it up in flames afterwards.
He sighed. “This can't be happening.”
The mood in the K-Tower was glum, to say the least. Shelary was still in disbelief about Cojo, and had asked Kimi and Crystal both if 'they were sure'. Luckily, she'd only asked them a few hundred times.
The three were on the couch now. Shelary in the middle, her chin in her hands and her elbows resting on her legs. To her left was Kimi, who was using the back of the couch like a pillow, but actually lying in mid-air. On her right was Crystal, who looked downtrodden by the whole thing.
“I just can't believe it.” Shelary repeated, shaking her head. “At least not until I hear it from him.”
“And what then?” Kimi asked quietly.
“Excuse me?” Shelary wasn't sure what she meant, raising an eyebrow.
“What will you do if he really is the way we describe?” Kimi asked once more, turning around so she was right-side up and meeting Shelary's gaze. As the two peered into each other's eyes, Kimi saw something else. She could see Shelary's sadness, but she also saw a new emotion.
A kind of... conviction. Something she was clearly passionate about.
“... If he's really gone to evil... then --”
“I'm back!” The door opened and Sama came in, clearly showing up at this moment only as a way of distracting the reader from Shelary's answer. Yep, this time he's distracting YOU. Ironic, isn't it?
“... Worse. Timing. Ever.” Kimi growled, glaring at her Sidekick.
“Geez, you girl's look pretty down. Luckily, I took care of it.” Sama nodded. “Rowen – um, Cojo – agreed to meet you tonight at Mr. Fancy's Restaurant. So you can discuss everything in a neutral environment.”
“... He asked her out?” Kimi blinked.
“You completely ignored most of what I just said, didn't you?” Sama blinked.
“I usually do.” Kimi admitted.
Shelary paused for a moment, and then she stood up. She didn't sound particularly happy, nor did she sound as miserable as one might expect. She merely had a monotone voice, as if what was going on what something she did not expect. “I'll go get ready, then.”
With that, she hurried out of the room, towards the front door. She paused and turned around to look at them. “Thank you... all of you. It was nice meeting you. I'm sure we'll see each other again.” She bowed, and then left.
Instantly, both Crystal and Kimi stood up. “Sama!” They said in unison, then paused.
Crystal continued. “You made reservations at that restaurant for all of us too, right? So we can go and spy on them?”
“He better have.” Kimi said, in a more threatening tone. “Otherwise, I'm breaking his face.”
Sama shook his head. “Break away, Kimi-chan! But as a matter of principal, I can't very well let you two snoop. And don't think about making reservations, because they're super expensive. You'd have to be leader of an evil empire, or mayor of a city to afford a table there.”
It took him a second to realize the flaw in what he'd just said, but he eventually did.
“Aw, Potatoes...”
Mr. Fancy's Restaurant is the most prestigious, glamorous, high-class restaurant in all of Teh City. So fancy, is this one place, that it's fancier than Teh Fancy Place, and usually places called 'Teh' are the top in Teh City.
The dining room is on top of a giant tower; the top floor is completely circular. The building looks like an ordinary skyscraper, with a UFO parked on top. The top floor is not actually a UFO, just very round and very large.
Getting inside is difficult. There's always a huge waiting list and usually over a hundred people crowd the narrow hallway outside the elevator to get in. A very snooty host stands at a small podium and allows a fair few to get inside.
Rowen had already come and, thanks to the reservation, was at his table. Shelary had not yet shown up.
On the ground, Super Kimi was trying her best to get to the top.
“Hi! I'm Super Kimi. You know, the person who saves your life on a routine basis. How about letting me up?”
“No.”
“Did I mention I'm famous and beloved by everyone in Teh City?”
“Did I mention I don't care?”
“... You realize I could pick you up, fly you into space, and toss you into the sun, right?”
“Go ahead. I've got sunblock.”
Kimi had eventually given up – on her idea of getting in as 'herself'. Luckily, she had a plan B – and it meant a brilliant disguise.
Ten minutes later, the owner – Mr. Fancy himself – was sitting a couple down at a table.
“We're SO happy to have you here, Mr. Mayor.”
“Yep, that's me, the Mayor.” It was not Spoony, but Sama who said these words. “And this... well, this is my girlfriend Winry.”
It was not Winry who sat across from him, but Kimi. Although she was holding a wrench. She'd threatened to embed it in Sama's skull if he didn't help her get into the dining room somehow.
So, one (more) stolen wallet, a set of disguises (which consisted of a wrench for Kimi and a fake pony-tail for Sama) and one fake-date later and our heroes were now in the dining room.
“You know, it's possible that instead of talking about stuff with Shelary, Rowen will take one look our direction and start lobbing explosive energy around the room.” Sama pointed out, still against the spying idea.
“We're in disguise, remember?” Kimi reminded him; she was being sarcastic, of course.
Sama sighed. “At least only one of you could sneak in this way.”
“Hi! I'll be your waitress for today, can I take your order?”
The waitress had arrived, and just as Sama turned to give her his order, he sweat dropped. As you've probably guessed, the waitress was Crystal, smiling at the two and giving them a wink.
“Y-You got a job here?” Sama stammered.
“Yep! Turns out the usual waitress got into a crazy accident on the way to work. She said some girl in a bubble threw a mattress at her car! Can you believe that?” Crystal grinned.
“Oh! So Tazzy finally mastered mattressbending? Cool!” Kimi chimed in, also smirking.
“... What the heck is Mattressbending?”
The two chatting girls and the guy who's plans were foiled all looked up; suddenly pale and wide-eyed. Kimi and Sama were sitting a booth on one side of the room, and in the booth next to them the occupants had just turned around to look at them.
There were two of them. A girl with blond pig-tails and: CHoW.
“What are you doing here?” Kimi demanded at once, cracking her knuckles.
CHoW shrugged. “Don't know what you mean. I'm just here on a date. I'm not spying or anything.”
“Hello! I'm Heidi.” The girl nodded.
“... Aren't you the girl from the Hot Chocolate box?” Sama blinked, recognizing CHoW's date.
“Why yes, I am!” Heidi nodded.
CHoW blinked as the three heroes gave him funny looks. “What? WHAT? I'm not allowed to have a girlfriend? Oh, just because I'm a criminally-insane super villain? Bite my shiny metal hat!”
“HEY! Don't infringe on my copyright!”
Heads turned once again, this time to the booth on the other side of Kimi and Sama's. A large blue robot was sitting there – and next to him was a humanoid woman. The next sound that was heard was of a jaw dropping and smacking into the table.
“What... What are you two doing here?” Sama stammered.
Bender and Blackfire were sitting at the table beside them.
“... Well, this is kind of awkward.” Blackfire coughed.
Sama's eye twitched. “Oh come on! That's... That's so messed up.”
“Yep.” Bender agreed, taking a puff of his cigar and then blowing a smoke ring in the sidekick's face. “Sucks to be you.”
Sama growled. “Bender, you... and... I... You guys are --”
On the floor, there was a very small table. At that table were two blue figures were eating when one of them – who wore glasses – pointed up at the table containing the heroes.
“Papa Smurf! Papa Smurf! That boy said a bad word!”
“... Brainy, stop being a tattle-tale.” Papa Smurf shook his head.
“Yo! Dumbasses – they're here!” CHoW called towards the two tables behind him. Kimi, Sama, Crystal, Bender and Blackfire all paused and looked to the right. In the middle of the room (of course) was a specially-reserved table.
Rowen and Shelary had just shown up, and each were sitting at the table; staring at one another.
[.....]
For a full two minutes, they just sat there. Staring at one another. Neither of them speaking, neither one moving. Perhaps, they had both froze up from seeing each other for the first time after so long. Maybe they were both thinking, trying to find the exactly perfect words. Or maybe it was just because six people and a robot were all staring at them intently from across the room.
“... Could you all just turn around and eat your food?” Rowen asked irritably, glaring at the group.
“Nope. You're interesting.” Kimi replied back.
Rowen's hand flashed with lightning for a split-second before he remembered why he was here and dissipated it. It was too late, though, because Shelary had seen it. Her face fell and she looked down at the fancy tablecloth in front of her.
“... It's true, isn't it Cojo?” She asked.
“...”
“... You... You're part of LASOOF, aren't you?”
“...”
“Why!?” Shelary suddenly yelled, and for a second her voice cracked. “What would make you betray everything your family like that!?”
“... It's not as black and white as you make it sound.” Rowen hissed in response, and his voice was as cold as ice and as sharp as venom. It was such a change from the voice Shelary had remembered, and it took her by surprise.
“How could you, Cojo?” Shelary asked once more, and her vast eyes seemed to teer up. “You... you were the best out of all of us! You were supposed to become a Flan-I! You were supposed to be the greatest success story of the whole group!”
“I'm not that person anymore. Those things don't matter to me anymore.” Rowen replied, still as cold as before.
“'Those things'? You mean, your vows? Your principals? Your morals? Do you mean your family--”
“THEY AREN'T MY FAMILY!” Rowen shouted, clenching his fists. “None of them are! Not the Flan-I, not our group – NOT YOU!”
“Cojo, I know you don't mean that!” Shelary roared back, tears quite visible on her cheeks now.
“Don't call me Cojo! Cojo is dead! I am Rowen – I AM DARTH ROWEN!” He stood up and yelled at full volume. After a second, he paused. His anger was coursing through his veins like a river, but something else had just bubbled to the surface. A kind of feeling he did not fully understand.
Shelary had fallen completely silent. She leaned back in her chair, hair covering her eyes. The tears had stopped dripping down her cheeks, and rather than sadness, there was a new aura surrounding her.
“... Then, you are lost.”
Rowen's face changed once more. He was halfway between confusion and halfway amusement. “Shel, don't. You don't want to open that door.”
“What choice do I have? ... It's true. You're a traitor. You've betrayed everything you were taught.” Shelary looked up at him, locking eyes one more time. “I... I don't want to... but...”
What happened next, happened in the blink of an eye. Rowen jumped back as the chair he had been in was sliced in half – Shelary had jumped from her chair and one of her silver dagger's ripped the chair apart.
Rowen spun around and aimed a kick at her; but she avoided it and slashed her daggers at him; almost taking a chunk of flesh from his arm in the process. Rowen jumped and threw a chaos spear at her; which she absorbed into her dagger.
Rowen flushed. He jumped away, but she threw the Chaos Spear back at him – which hit the ninja dead on in the chest; consuming his body in green light and knocking him to the ground. He groaned as Shelary jumped over him – but he quickly disappeared before she could attack again.
By now, the room was in chaos. Tables had been overturned and everyone (aside from the super-powered people) had fled. When Rowen reappeared, he was above her. A bright light consumed his hand and it formed into a massive blast.
Shelary realized that her dagger might not be able to block it. She jumped away and avoided the blast – and when she did, Kimi and Sama exchanged glances.
“Did she just dodge that?” Sama asked.
“... Yeah. ... He's not even really trying!” Kimi grinned. “Aww, he likes her too much to kill her!”
“So, we should probably...”
“YEP!”
Kimi shot forward like a bullet, crashed into Rowen and sent him flying into a wall. Normally he'd have used Chaos Control to escape – but he did not. Sama zapped him with emerald lightning and Rowen passed out.
He'd thrown the fight.
CHoW had stepped in once Rowen was unconscious; the Hot Chocolate Girl threw some exploding marshmallows and they had escaped, getting Rowen out with them as well. Afterwards, eventually Kimi and Sama convinced Shelary to come back with them to the Tower.
They explained their theory to her. Her answer was something that shocked them.
“Yeah, I know he wasn't really trying.” Shelary grinned. “I trained with him, remember?”
“Awesome.” Kimi smirked. “So... this means...”
“Part of Cojo totally still likes Shelary.” Sama confirmed, nodding his head.
“Well, thanks!” Shelary smiled at them both. “I'll be going now.” She turned towards the door, but they both jumped in front of her.
“HOLD ON!” Kimi yelled, blocking the way.
“Yeah, where you going?” Sama raised an eyebrow.
Shelary blinked. “... What's up?”
“I figured you'd be living here. With us.” Kimi blinked. “We have over two hundred rooms and only, like, five people live here.”
Shelary paused for a long second, thinking about everything that had happened. All the wacky, weird and heart-wrenching things that she'd been a part of over the last day. Living with Kimi and Sama was sure to bring on even more insanity.
... but, it might be her only chance to figure out what was really going on in Rowen's mind.
“... I'll do it!” She smiled.
Sama coughed. “I like that idea, but... maybe Shelary should come back in a few days or something.”
Kimi raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“... Well, I mean... obviously this story takes place before 'Clowns Will Eat Me'.”
Kimi paused. “How come?”
“... Because at the end of that, we were blasted to a different world by that weirdo in the Crimson Cape. So this HAS to come first, you know?” Sama raised an eyebrow.
Kimi tilted her head for a moment. “That makes sense... and I guess if Shelary moved in now, it would make it weird as to why she wasn't mentioned at all in that story.”
“Right! So now we have a solution that prevents plot holes and makes everyone happy.” Sama nodded.
“I don't want to interrupt, again... but...” Shelary got their attention; as did the breeze. Kimi and Sama looked to her, and then each of them sweatdropped. The wall behind Shelary had just fallen out of the building. You can guess which wall it was.
[END]
“HOLD IT!”
Back on the farm, the creature (who had borrowed some pants from the farmer and was now sitting on his porch with him) suddenly yelled out.
“You can't just bring me back to life and then forget about me!” The creature demanded. “When do I show up again?”
The answer? Later. So don't worry about that. Oh; and eventually Avenger came by, defrosted the Professor, and he's now back at the lab recovering with some soup. So don't worry, he'll be fine.
Oh, and Tazzy and HA are fine too. They're out of the bubbles. Yay!
... Of course, Kimi and Sama were eventually attacked by Ronald McDonald and some Phantom Clowns things. But more on the set-up of that, the creature and the future in the next story which also takes place before the current arc: Joha's B-Day gift!
See ya, Space Cowboy.
Kimiko - August 17, 2008 03:54 PM (GMT)
XD Posting stories out of chronological order? It's THoS-esque!
Brilliant, Sama. And CLASSY. XP Very, very fancy.
And ooooh! Bender should know the rules about dating his friend's ex! XD He wouldn't follow them anyway. And LULZ at Kimi and Sama sneaking in IN-COG-NEE-TOE.
Mattress-bending... Toucan Sam... Breaking the Forth Wall... GREAT! :D Awesome, Sama.
Brilliant, Sama. And CLASSY. XP Very, very fancy.
And ooooh! Bender should know the rules about dating his friend's ex! XD He wouldn't follow them anyway. And LULZ at Kimi and Sama sneaking in IN-COG-NEE-TOE.
Mattress-bending... Toucan Sam... Breaking the Forth Wall... GREAT! :D Awesome, Sama.
AGodofIrony - August 17, 2008 08:01 PM (GMT)
Ah man, where do I begin?
Haven't I been frozen before? XD
I think my favorite part was at the restaurant where everyone seemed to be showing up. I kept wondering just who else was in there!
Man, that must be one ponytail if Sama was able to get away being The Spoon. Height differences alone.
Just hilarious, and this extra plot thing that has no real part to this story...Oooooh! Evil stuff planned.
Poor Rowen...He doesn't need to deal with this emotional stuff! Oh noes!
Haven't I been frozen before? XD
I think my favorite part was at the restaurant where everyone seemed to be showing up. I kept wondering just who else was in there!
Man, that must be one ponytail if Sama was able to get away being The Spoon. Height differences alone.
Just hilarious, and this extra plot thing that has no real part to this story...Oooooh! Evil stuff planned.
Poor Rowen...He doesn't need to deal with this emotional stuff! Oh noes!
Kimiko - August 17, 2008 08:09 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (AGodofIrony @ Aug 17 2008, 08:01 PM) |
| Man, that must be one ponytail if Sama was able to get away being The Spoon. Height differences alone. |
Yea! When I first read the line about the mayor, I thought Kimi was gonna go as Spoony and Sama was gonna go as Winry because of the height difference thing. XD I guess Mr. Fancy doesn't get out much.
Tazzy Porqupine - August 17, 2008 10:50 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Kimiko @ Aug 17 2008, 04:09 PM) | ||
Yea! When I first read the line about the mayor, I thought Kimi was gonna go as Spoony and Sama was gonna go as Winry because of the height difference thing. XD I guess Mr. Fancy doesn't get out much. |
Well, I doubt Spoony appears to teh citizens in person, he probably uses some sort of television screen like he does with Kimi and Sama. Though, Kimi dressing as the Spoon woulda been pretty cool, too. XD
Anyways, freaken' awesome job AGAIN, Sama!!! 8D Man, I never knew mattressbending would ever make its way into SK&WS! XD And all the people in the restaurant... pure lol. AND! The poor fourth wall!! I was wondering when it would finally destroy itself. That thing takes a lot of heat for SK&WS.
As always, Sama, great wonderful awesome job!!! 8D
Knucxsonia - August 17, 2008 10:54 PM (GMT)
XD This story pwns!
Awsomeness, GS! Awsomeness!
Awsomeness, GS! Awsomeness!
Dark Phazon - August 17, 2008 11:45 PM (GMT)
Crystal Rose - August 18, 2008 12:58 AM (GMT)
You brightened my day Sama XD Amazingly funny fic full of amazing funniness!!
You gotta feel for Wen-Wen, that must suck D:
You gotta feel for Wen-Wen, that must suck D:
| QUOTE |
| Bender and Blackfire were sitting at the table beside them. |
And poor Sama!
MATTRESSBENDING :3
GoldenSama - August 18, 2008 02:17 AM (GMT)
Kimi: Yeah, Chronological Order has been shattered! XD
Well, Bender already dated Lucy Liu after Fry did (sorta) so I doubt he really cares about his friend's feelings.
Kimi and Sama are totally spies. Spies with mad skillz. XD
I did contemplate having Kimi be the false-Spoon, but I thought it would be funnier if it was as absurd as possible. ;p
AGOI: Yeah, you probably have. XD And knowing the insanity of this show, anyone is liable to be frozen at any minute.
Originally, I actually planned on having Spoony and Winry show up at the restaurant and get turned away because Spoony couldn't find his credit card, but I forgot to include it when I actually wrote that part. XD
Tazzy: I think Mr. Fancy knew they were fake 'cause Kimi already tried to get in a few minutes earlier, but they had a credit card so he let them in anyway. XD On our next episode, Spoony gets his credit card bill and head's will roll!
:p O'course Mattressbending was destined to make it's way into SK&WS. It's hilarious, and I love to include the hilarious stuff that everybody comes up with into the stories. =3
KxS: Thanks! ^^
DP:
C_R: Always happy to brighten a day.
Yeah, Rowen had it bad in this one... but it does just go to show that even with all the evil ninja sith lord stuff, Cojo's still in there somewhere.
XD Sama was having too much fun taunting Rowen, and life always has a way of repaying debts like that.
[...]
To all of you, I thank you very much for reading and am very pleased that you enjoyed it! ^____^
Joha's birthday story is the next one to look forward to this month, and after that I'm totally getting busy and finishing Lords Of The Skies -- which will be really freakin' long, but totally awesome. =3
Bye! Thanks again!
Well, Bender already dated Lucy Liu after Fry did (sorta) so I doubt he really cares about his friend's feelings.
Kimi and Sama are totally spies. Spies with mad skillz. XD
I did contemplate having Kimi be the false-Spoon, but I thought it would be funnier if it was as absurd as possible. ;p
AGOI: Yeah, you probably have. XD And knowing the insanity of this show, anyone is liable to be frozen at any minute.
Originally, I actually planned on having Spoony and Winry show up at the restaurant and get turned away because Spoony couldn't find his credit card, but I forgot to include it when I actually wrote that part. XD
Tazzy: I think Mr. Fancy knew they were fake 'cause Kimi already tried to get in a few minutes earlier, but they had a credit card so he let them in anyway. XD On our next episode, Spoony gets his credit card bill and head's will roll!
:p O'course Mattressbending was destined to make it's way into SK&WS. It's hilarious, and I love to include the hilarious stuff that everybody comes up with into the stories. =3
KxS: Thanks! ^^
DP:
C_R: Always happy to brighten a day.
Yeah, Rowen had it bad in this one... but it does just go to show that even with all the evil ninja sith lord stuff, Cojo's still in there somewhere.
XD Sama was having too much fun taunting Rowen, and life always has a way of repaying debts like that.
[...]
To all of you, I thank you very much for reading and am very pleased that you enjoyed it! ^____^
Joha's birthday story is the next one to look forward to this month, and after that I'm totally getting busy and finishing Lords Of The Skies -- which will be really freakin' long, but totally awesome. =3
Bye! Thanks again!
The Vidit of Light - August 18, 2008 04:54 AM (GMT)
Heads will roll in the next one? Besides Mustang's? :LOL:
Spoony getting his credit card bill?
Anyway, yes, good, crazy story as usual (even though I kind of, well, skimmed through it :heh:). And wait, Blackfire's supposed to be in prison on the moon!
Isee Vidit's next assignment is in the works...and Sama and he (or Bender and he) have a conflict of interests! :D
Spoony getting his credit card bill?
Anyway, yes, good, crazy story as usual (even though I kind of, well, skimmed through it :heh:). And wait, Blackfire's supposed to be in prison on the moon!
Isee Vidit's next assignment is in the works...and Sama and he (or Bender and he) have a conflict of interests! :D