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Use The Fire In Your Heart To Burn A Drill That Will Pierce The Floor! ... Or Something.

[Sama Says] Based on an idea from Vidit, the following is a special episode presented as a present for Joha. Beware, though, Joha, I'll only allow you to read this if you staple yourself to the site and stay here. :p

Like the last one, this story also takes place before “Can't Sleep, Clowns Will Eat Me”. There may be another story set before that one (I need to confer with AGOI some more) but regardless, Lords Of The Skies actually will be posted sometime soon. Perhaps, sooner than you realize. :3

I know the title is long. The ironic thing is that most of it has little to do with the actual story. XD

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOHA!

I hope this birthday finds you happy! Sorry this is late – I tried to have it done on time, but I wasn't home for the majority of yesterday! So I abandoned any intention of sleeping and got it done. =3

---

In a remote region just outside Teh City, the missing super-drill is poised, ready to be used. Standing on top of the gigantic red construction machine were two youths who had become bored a few hours ago. Boredom can always be dangerous – even more so when the bored parties happen to have super powers.

“Alright! Let's drill into the heavens!” Sama, who was now wearing a long red cape in addition to his usual outfit, exclaimed as he jumped and pointed upwards.

“Yeah! ... Except...” Kimi was there too, now wearing a scarf and a puzzled look. “You have the drill pointed at the ground, not the sky.”

It wasn't unusual for Kimi to point out the flaws in Sama's plans. Though instead of the stumped look she was used to seeing, Sama was grinning. “Actually, I thought of that. We're on a flying island, right? So even if we drill down, we'll still be piercing the heavens – 'cause, you know, we're in the sky.”

Kimi blinked. “You know, that actually makes sense.”

“Told you! I thought of everything.” Sama seemed pleased to have, for once, thought ahead in one of his crazy schemes.

The super hero rolled her eyes. “Not so fast. I'm all for stealing drills and emulating anime – but do you even know how to operate this thing?” Kimi asked, crossing her arms.

Her sidekick shook his head. “Of course I don't. I can barely work a hair dryer.”

“That explains a lot.”

“... You've always got a sarcastic comment, don'tcha?” Sama sighed. “Look, I've been developing a new Flan Technique.” He paused, striking a dramatic pose.

“Super Flan Energy Release Voodoo Machine Control Technique!” Sama yelled loudly, getting a blink from a confused Kimi. He put his hands together and an emerald light engulfed his body, and then the drill beneath them.

After about a minute of a lot of glowing and nothing else, Kimi could hold back no longer. “Wooooooooow. Sama, that's so impressive. You've become a flashlight!”

Sama opened his mouth to reply, when suddenly he began to twitch. A second later, as he screamed, he started spinning around like an out-of-control drill, flailing his arms wildly. Kimi shook her head, and then took a jab at both the fourth wall and her sidekick at the same time.

“Seriously, who did NOT see this coming? Show of hands.” Kimi would have continued snickering, but at that moment Sama's arm got caught up in her scarf, pulling her into the spinning vortex that was her sidekick and quickly tying them both up.

It was at that point that Vidit finally showed up, having found the giant drill. He looked downright irritated as he climbed the side of the drill, looking for the thief, ready to attack whomever had taken the drill. Instead of one of the villains he expected, he instead found...

“A scarf mummy?” Vidit blinked. He growled irritatedly, then he charged a bolt of electricity into his power-glove and fired a blast at the mummy. The scarf burnt away and Kimi and Sama plopped down to the ground.

“Urgh.... I'm going to hurl.” Sama groaned, covering his mouth.

Vidit's eyes narrowed as he glared down at the two. He was in disbelief. Sure, on his first meeting with them Vidit had suspected them of stealing from SAINT – but that had been proven false. Now, though, he had actually caught them doing so!

“I don't believe it! What are you two doing!?” He demanded.

“Dude, chill.” Kimi said as she sat up, finally regaining her balance. “We were bored. We're all out of unread manga, unwatched movies and unplayed video games. So, we decided to just try at home the stuff we saw on Gurren Lagann. Is that so wrong?”

Vidit did not seem amused. He was glaring at them so harshly that if looks could kill, even the two super-powered crime-fighters would have shriveled up and died. He tapped his foot on the ground. “You stole a super-powered, SUPER-EXPENSIVE drill from SAINT HQ! That thing isn't even mine – I could get in so much trouble over this!”

“Wow. If you can't even handle these two idiots, I wonder how you ever survived in the World Below?”

A man had approached the drill and the three on top. His hair was dark and he wore a blue uniform. There was a smirk on his face – one that rarely left it. This man was no stranger to Teh City – he had been a player in the insanity since the early days.

“What?” Vidit spun around, not recognizing the man in the uniform. “Just who are you to say things like that!?”

“Roy Mustang. Colonel, Roy Mustang.” The Flame Alchemist rubbed his chin with one of his gloved hands. “I have to say, pretty shoddy administration. I don't see why the Spoon would let an organization like your's have an office here. Then again, I don't understand a lot of what the 'Mayor' does.”

Mustang had long been jealous of the Spoon for being the beloved leader of Teh City – and he had been an ambitious schemer who sought power even longer. Though, this was not part of some scheme – this was just him stirring up trouble for the new military group in town. Naturally, Roy had to test the waters whenever a potential new challenger appeared.

Vidit narrowed his eyes, sensing the challenge in the air. “What makes you so great, anyway?”

Roy's arrogance demanded that he laugh before answering. “How much time do you have? If you have to be somewhere I'll just give you the short list – should only take an hour or two.”

The secret agent rolled his eyes. “Anyone can talk big. Why not put your reputation on the line... err, Horse, was it?”

“I think I could beat someone who makes jokes that lame, so why not?” Mustang replied instantly. He held up his hand, fingers ready to snap. “Bring it on!”

“WHOA.” Kimi flew in-between the two, cracking her own knuckles. “Spoony will blame me if you two make a mess.”

“Since when have you ever cared?” Roy raised an eyebrow.

Kimi crossed her arms. “Like I said, we're out of unread manga, unwatched movies and unplayed games.”

“Yeah, and we can't buy any new ones if Spoony docks our pay to rebuild broken buildings and crap – again.” Sama added.

Vidit, who hadn't really meant that they should have an epic battle this close to town anyway, shook his head. “Maybe we could have a contest instead of some big-scale battle?”

“That sounds like a great idea.”

Vidit's face became as white as a sheet. Roy, Kimi and Sama all just turned their heads quizzically. A man had appeared a few feet away, sneaking up on them without anyone noticing.

He had a thick beard and mustache that covered most of his face. He also wore a hat down low, covering his forehead completely. That hat looked rather official – in fact, the man's clothes were a lot like Vidit's – only with many more metals and awards pinned to them.

“General Bauer! I-I wasn't expecting you...” Vidit gulped. The General was the Head of SAINT, and the boss of the boss of the boss who was Vidit's boss.

“I have an idea. How about, tomorrow afternoon, you all come by the SAINT HQ and have a contest of sorts? I'll devise something that will be fair and impartial. Three events, I think... whoever wins the most will be declared the winner, and the loser will likely be depressed and in need of cheering up somehow.”

Sama blinked. “Wow, that's not foreshadowing at aaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll.”
“Oh no, certainly not.” Kimi agreed.

---

Their day so far had been weird, and the strangeness was about to continue. As Kimi and Sama arrived home at the K-Tower, they instantly went towards the couch. They planned to relax for a while, allowing television to take control of their minds for the next several hours.

Just as they made it to the living room, a voice caught their attention. It was that of their roommate, friend and Guardian of the Master Flan; Mojohanna. She didn't sound very happy, either.

“HEY! There you two are!” She yelled loudly, quickly jumping in front of the duo.

“Aww, Potatoes.”
“Jooooooooooooooooooha. We wanna watch TV.” Kimi complained. “We had a rough day. There was a drill and Vidit yelled at us and I lost my new scarf and your boyfriend was acting like a jerk.”

Joha narrowed her eyes. “YOU had a rough day? That stupid alien tried to broke into my bedroom and tried to steal the Flan!”

Sama instantly crossed his arms. “Y'know what? She dumped me, so I'm not taking crap for what she does anymore.”

“Not that stupid alien. THAT ONE!” Joha yelled, pointing across the room. Kimi and Sama followed her finger and found Zim tied to a chair, several large lumps swollen up on his head, most likely from severe chopstick trauma.

“Release me at ONCE! I've done nothing wrong!” Zim demanded.

“Cheer up, have some ice cream.” Gir was sitting next to him, eating ice cream out of the back of what appeared to be some kind of space-age weapon.

“GIR! How could you fill all my weapons with ice cream!” Zim complained, glaring at his robot companion.

Gir shook his head. “I didn't put ice cream in all of them. There's mashed potatoes in the laser gun, silly.”

“Yo, toss me the laser gun.” Sama piped up – prompting a very painful whack from a giant, magical, purple chopstick.

By now, Kimi was in tears from laughter. Zim's anguish, Gir's silliness and the usual back-and-forth between Sama and Joha that ended up with painful whacks and 'ouch ka bibbles'. When Joha's wrath threatened to turn on her, however, Kimi quickly stopped her snickering and decided she needed to change the subject.

“So, Roy and Vidit are having some big contest tomorrow. Some stupid macho thing. I figured you'd want to know so you could go cheer or something.”

Joha's demeanor changed right away. Her chopsticks disappeared into mid-air (Magic, people! It's MAGIC!) and her face lit up with a smile. “Go watch Roy kick-ass? Sounds fun!”

---

A huge crowd had gathered in the training yard just behind the SAINT building. The three events to settle the dispute between Mustang and Vidit were about to begin. Standing down at the sidelines, near where Roy was getting ready, was his usual peanut gallery.

Havoc was waving a 'Mustang for President' sign, Fury and Breda were both cheering loudly. Roy even had his own cheerleader do a cheer routine – unfortunately, it was Armstrong, using this as an excuse to flex his muscles. Hawkeye and Joha were sitting at opposite ends of the gallery, occasionally shooting very dark looks at one another.

Mustang himself was standing in the dirt, Vidit stood a few feet away. Since most of his organization was still in The Land Below, he didn't have a cheering gallery. Though, much to his appreciation, General Bauer had shown up and was sitting on the opposite end of the field. He was as far away from Teh City's regulars as he could be, but he was still there, offering support to his agent.

Finally, the time came for the events to begin. As the audience cheered loudly, General Bauer stepped to the middle of the field. Vidit and Roy both approached him and when they were in place, he snapped his fingers. As if on cue, two large stone walls shot up from out of the ground.

They were used for training by the SAINT Agents. The walls were gigantic – they rivaled the size of any skyscraper. Completely smooth, aside from about a hundred small openings on both sides. Those openings could be used as hand grips – but they shot out lasers hot enough to burn through human flesh. Climbing the walls was incredibly dangerous.

“Alright. First person to make it to the other side is the winner of the first event.” General Bauer announced. “GO!”

Roy yawned – while he did, Vidit shot from his starting spot like a bullet. He jumped onto the wall and threw himself from opening to opening, barely dodging the laser blasts that his grabbing the hand-ledges triggered. Still, he made it to the other side rather quickly and dropped to the ground. He looked up, expecting to see Mustang struggling – but Mustang wasn't on the wall.

“Yo.” Roy was standing a few feet away from him – having already been on the other side of the wall by the time Vidit made it down.

“W-What? How'd you get here so fast?” Vidit asked, flabbergasted.

“I took the door.” Mustang pointed at an open door in the middle of the wall.

Vidit's jaw dropped. “D-Door? I don't remember any door...”

“I'm an alchemist, remember?” Mustang grinned. “So, how many more of these things till I win?”

While Vidit tried to argue that Mustang had cheated (“I did say the first person to get to the other side.” Bauer shrugged), Joha and the rest of Roy's cheering section erupted. Armstrong did a dance with his biceps, Havoc, Fury and Breda did a jig, while Joha and Hawkeye competed themselves to see who could yell the loudest in happiness.

After a few moments of cheering, the General waved his arms to get quiet. When he finally had it, and once both Mustang and Vidit returned to their marks, he announced the second event.

“That was very entertaining! Creative problem solving... I do enjoy it! For the second event, we have a different kind of contest. We will have a race around the outer perimeter for the training yard! The first person to touch my shirt sleeve will be the winner.” General Bauer announced, lifting his arms in the air.

A second later, a hand was on his shirt sleeve – then a second hand grabbed the other sleeve.

Mustang sweat dropped. “You catch on quick, don't you?” He had been the second hand.

“Creative problem solving.” Vidit smirked; he had been the first one to grab the shirt sleeve. Neither of them had actually raced around the training yard – the General had said 'the first one to touch my shirt sleeve will be the winner', and after Roy's tricky victory in the earlier contest, it was clear there was a very simple way to win.

“Well, that WAS a race of sorts.” General Bauer smirked behind his beard. “Anyway... I suppose we need a tie-breaker. Something that would be completely fair to both parties. The kind of thing that you'd both have an equal chance at winning.”

He turned around, clapped his hands, and a platform raised out of the ground. Two large statues were standing on the platform. Though, there was something odd about them. They were sculptures made from ice.

“You know, even I think this is totally unfair.” Roy smirked. “Though, I'm not complaining.”

The General turned to both of them and narrowed his eyes in a devious way. “You both have just one shot. Whoever melts the most of the statue will be the winner. Vidit, you go first.”

Vidit nodded and approached his mark. He had a heat beam on his glove, but he doubted he could out-burn the Flame Alchemist. Instead, he switched his glove to a powerful sound-wave based beam and fired. It shattered the ice into pieces, causing it to pile up on the ground in small bunches.

There were applause from the audience and the General nodded. Then he turned to Mustang and indicated that it was his turn to try – that solicited a smirk from the Colonel.

Mustang was practically giddy as he strolled up to his mark. Standing where the chalk had colored the grass, he raised his hand, yawned and then snapped his fingers. An explosions rocked the stadium, knocking some people over from the massive shock wave. Flames jumped up and consumed the ice sculpture for several seconds, then thick black smoke veiled it all.

When the smoke cleared, Armstrong fell over, Joha gasped and Roy almost had a heart attack.

The ice was hardly even half-melted.

Between the whispering and murmuring of the crowd, Kimi and Sama exchanged puzzled glances.

“... That seem suspicious to you?” Sama asked.
“Big time. Let's come back tonight, break into their HQ and look for clues.” Kimi smirked.
“Seems like we could just go down there and inspect the ice now... but what you said sounds like more fun.”

---

An hour later, Mustang was lying on a bus stop bench, absently playing with a yo-yo. He had no idea why he was playing with a yo-yo, but he was. The Colonel had been in a funk since earlier that day. Losing the contest was one thing – but actually losing at an ice-melting event was just too much for him to handle.

“There you are.”

Roy looked up at the voice; Mojohanna was standing in front of him. Her arms were crossed and her foot was tapping at a rapid, impatient pace.

“What are you doing here?” Mustang asked, groaning.

“You kidding? You looked so depressed after the events... So I decided to find you and cheer you up.” She smiled.

“I failed. Not only did I not melt the ice faster – I didn't even melt it all the way!” Roy grumbled. He sat up and rubbed the temple of his forehead. “ME! The Flame Alchemist! I've taken out entire armies just by snapping my fingers in tune with my iPod! I once melted a shorty's metal leg into a puddle! And... And I couldn't even melt some ice.”

Roy hung his head in shame. “Maybe I'm washed up.”

“That's not true!” Joha yelled, clenching her fists. “You're the greatest alchemist I've ever seen!”

Mustang shook his head. “Maybe once upon a time I was. Now I'm a hack... Look, I want to be alone for a while, okay?”

Then, something happened that had never happened before. Joha could hardly believe it herself, although she did it. Her chopstick had connected with Roy's head, knocking him clear off the bench and into a puddle on the road.

“...” Mustang was shocked.

“Listen up! You're not a quitter! So what if you lost today? You're a legend! One of the all-time greats – and I'm not about to watch you go emo on me!”

The Colonel stood up, water from the puddle dripping down from his hair. “... I AM all washed up. Literally.”

Joha couldn't seem to decide if she was sad or angry and for a few seconds her emotions changed rapidly. Then, after a brief pause, she came up with an idea. “Give me one day, Mustang! I'll cheer you up!”

“Pfft. An army of women with flamethrowers and mini-skirts couldn't cheer me up right now.” Mustang replied, too dejected to even picture the scene in his mind. Seeing Joha clench her fist around the painful chopstick of doom, he quickly straightened up and added: “B-But, if you want to try, go ahead. I suppose at this point my time's worthless, so you can't really waste it.”

---

“Wow. This makes me feel important.”

Roy Mustang's voice was as flat as soda that had been in a cup, on a windowsill for three weeks in the sun. He did not seem impressed on Joha's attempt at cheering him up so far. Roy was now standing in front of a giant bowl that contained a large, Spanish desert covered in syrup.

The Master Flan – the source of all power for the Flan-I Order, as well as the thing that had turned Kimi from teenage girl to super hero. Joha's job was to guard it, although attacks on it and theft attempts were so rare that she hardly did anything at all these days.

“Roy! You realize that the last time someone destroyed this, the whole Universe got unraveled by a crazy plastic-headed King of Burgers?” Joha crossed her arms, wishing that the man of her dreams would take her job more seriously.

“Yeah. Great. Though, when you said you'd make me feel important again... this is guard duty. You've made me a security guard. I'm about as important as a parachute on a submarine.” Roy rolled his eyes.

A coy smile crossed Joha's face. “You never know. Something could happen!”

As if on cue, something DID happen. The window broke and something jumped into the room, charging right at the Master Flan. Roy did not move, however, since this was the least impressive enemy he'd ever seen.

“Give it to MEEEE!” Zim yelled as he dove at the Master Flan. Mojohanna seemed extra annoyed to see him; she smacked his head like he was a golf ball and sent him flying into the wall.

“Why do you even want it?” Joha demanded, getting fed up with Zim and his recent theft attempts.

Zim stood up and brushed dust off his small, green face. “Foolish human meat creature! I require that Flan to produce a virus capable of infecting a Macintosh Computer. SO HAND IT OVER!!!”

Joha blinked. “... Yeah, it can't make computer viruses.”

Zim paused. “I-It can't?”

“No.”

“... Oh.” Zim coughed. “W-Well then... I-I'm just... going to go. AND PLOT REVENGE!” Zim ran out of the room, tripped on a stray sock, and tumbled out into the hallway. Joha shook her head.

“It's Saturday night and I'm guardian a bowl of desert from aliens who want to smear it on computers. Yeah, I'm important alright.” Mustang sighed.

---

As night fell on Teh City, Kimi and Sama were not at home. Instead, the duo who usually fought to uphold the law was now preparing to break into SAINT's City HQ. They had gone through several different plans – some of which included disguises, rubber chickens, giant lemon wedges and one very angry Basset Hound.

Since those plans had all seemed too strange (even for them), they decided that a much more straightforward approach would work. They casually strolled up to the side of the large building reserved for SAINT at which point Sama aimed his hands at the security camera (and alarm) above the doors.

“Super Flan Energy Release Voodoo Machine Control Technique!” He yelled, sending a blast of green light at the camera.

Kimi raise an eyebrow. “Remind me again; why do we think this has any chance of working after last time?”

“Simple cartoon logic. If somebody fails at doing something at the beginning of an episode, they'll succeed when it's important.” Sama shrugged. A second seconds later, the camera turned off – and so did the alarm.

Kimi blinked. “Right; but won't they notice the camera just stopping for no apparent reason? And didn't they record what you just did?”

“... Well, I guess that means we should hurry up then.” Sama sweat dropped, prompting a sigh from the super hero.

As they proceeded down the hall, a figure stepped out in front of them. They both gasped when they saw General Bauer standing in the middle of the hallway, his eyes dark and narrowed.

“Hey buddy.” Kimi waved, sweat dropping.

“Super Kimi and Wonder Sama... Hah. I assume you've come because you were suspicious of the ice sculptures in the contest?” Bauer asked from behind the beard and mustache that covered his face.

“Pretty much.” Sama nodded.
“And I assume you're here because you are up to something!” Kimi pointed an accusatory finger at him.

“Of course, I am.” Bauer admitted, smiling. “Breaking Roy Mustang's spirit is the next step in my plans.”

“It won't work!” Sama yelled. “Our friend Joha is cheering him up right as we speak!”

“What I don't get...” Kimi asked, while clenching her fists. “Is why the big boss of SAINT would want to mess with Mustang.”

“He wouldn't.” From behind Bauer, Vidit spoke. He appeared from the end of the hallway, aiming his glove right at The General's back. “I just got off the phone with General Bauer – he's back in The World Below. He's never been to Rapid Island in his life.”

The General – or at least, the impostor – smirked. “I see I'm out numbered and surrounded. Very well; I'm not General Bauer. My face is fake, as is the voice I'm using. As fake as the 'ice' Mustang tried to melt. There? Are you satisfied?”

“No.” Kimi cracked her knuckles. “How about telling us who you are, and what you want!”

The impostor shook his head. “You'll know soon enough.” With those words, he vanished completely, leaving the three very confused.

---

As the night dragged on, Joha had tried everything she could think of to cheer the Colonel up. He hadn't responded at all. She'd given him food, put on a puppet show, offered to steal Ed's arm so he could use it as a paper weight, told him several jokes, hired a clown and then fired the clown. Nothing worked.

Finally, she'd given up and sat down. “You know, despite all this, I still believe in you.” She whispered as she hugged her knees and looked out the window.

Mustang still stayed silent. He could see how hard she was trying, but he felt useless. In his mind, he hadn't even been able to melt some ice – a feat that should have been simple to him. He closed his eyes, and as he did, he heard a scream and the sound of shattered glass.

The window exploded and a hideous, grotesque monster with three heads – one of a pig, one of a cicada and one of a platypus – had just burst through the window and grabbed Joha. The monster was roaring and flailing its tail around the room, knocking over stuff.

“I... Eat... Master... Flan!” The monster roared. “But... First... I... Eat... Guardian!” It continued to roar, then the three heads looked hungrily at Joha.

Roy jumped up, slid his glove over his hand and snapped. A bolt of fire shot through the monster's chest, engulfing it in flames. Seconds later, the monster burnt away into dust and Joha fell into a chair, unharmed and grinning.

Mustang blinked a couple of times, and then he started to laugh. “Ha... Hahahahahahah! The Flame Alchemist is back! That felt great!”

Joha jumped up and squealed happily. “See? What I tell you? You had it in you all along!”

Mustang turned to her and his face became serious. “Yeah... Yeah, you did believe in me. That means a lot.”

He took a step forward and smiled. “Thank you.”

For a long moment, the two just stood and stared at one another. Then, they kissed. A second later, just as Joha resisted the urge to scream 'hell ya!' at the top of her lungs, the door burst open.

“Joha! Roy! We've got great news-- OUCH KA BIBBLE!”

Sama had ran into the room, ruined the moment and been pulverized by a chopstick to the face. Kimi floated in a couple seconds later, shaking her head.

“Again, who saw that coming?” She snickered and then turned to Roy. “Turns out Bauer was a fake. So was the ice. Some kind of magic plot-hole non-melting ice.”

Mustang's jaw dropped. “That explains a lot! Hah! Then I didn't really lose! Oh, man! I've got to find Vidit and set up the rematch!” Waving to them, Roy ran out of the room, eager to show Teh City that the Flame Alchemist was back in action.

Joha sighed and leaned against the wall. “... Thanks you two. For figuring out the truth.” She gave a smile to both Kimi and Sama; and then her eyes turned to a glare. “Oh, but learn how to knock. Seriously, if you'd been here a few seconds earlier I'd have to kill you both.”

---

A few hours later, a door opened, flooding a once-dark room with light. Inside the room, a figure stood near a table. He wore a cape, and something covered part of his face. The person who had opened the door approached him, smiled and began to speak.

“Thank you. That monster you sent after the Master Flan was perfect.”

“Well OF COURSE. I made it.” The caped-figure – HA – grinned as he turned around. “Seriously, though, creating haunting beasts is fun, but why have me send it to attack YOU?”

Joha smiled sheepishly. “I needed to cheer Roy up. I knew the best way to do that was to prove he still had skills – and I figured you had some kind of horrible beast sitting around that could prove the danger I needed.”

HA crossed his arms. “You know, that's unfair. How come everyone assumes I have a demonic creature in a cage when they need one?”

Joha raised an eyebrow. “I don't know... how about the Birthday Gnome, or Seymour the Sea-Monster; oh and let's not forget the python-sized leech you call a 'pet'. OR--”

“Okay, okay.” HA shook his head. “I get the point... but Shannon is not a monster! She's a sweet, precious little leech. It's not her fault she lusts to feast on human blood. That's just her nature.”

The Guardian raised an eyebrow, but decided not to press the issue. “Listen, I just came by to thank you. Roy's in high-spirits again. I hear he's already challenged Vidit to a re-match; this time at the Military Embassy. The old Roy is back.”

HA nodded, happy to have helped. “Yo, by the way... did Kimi and Sama every figure out who impersonated that General and use that fake-ice?”

“No... I guess it's one of those mysteries. But I'll promise you this, if I ever DO find out who it was, I'll bash 'em in the head with my chopsticks.” The way Joha made her vow, it was clear she was serious.

Though, finding the fake General would be difficult... after all, who would go through so much trouble when it caused virtually zero actual damage?

---

On one of the monolithically tall buildings in the business district of Teh City, the mysterious “General Bauer” leans against a gargoyle, looking down at the fading lights of the City below. The false face he had used to fool the others was gone now, as was the false voice.

The man looks as if he has gone a few days without shaving, and his eyes hold a certain heaviness as if he's seen many horrible things in his day. His mind had been lost to thought until the sound of soft footfalls behind him cause his head to twist.

“Oh... it's you.”

“Expecting someone else?” A woman was standing behind him, offering him a small grin. Despite the mischievous look on her lips, the woman's eyes told a different story. They had a fire in them – a burning drive and determination. She clearly had a goal that was very important to her.

“Kimi and Sama have been sneaking around. They were suspicious of 'General Bauer'.” The mysterious man mused.

“I know.” She nodded, as she walked over and sat on the railing next to the man. “We have a problem.” She added, and her face fell.

“What else is new?” He sighed. Noticing the serious look on her face, he paused and then asked: “... What is it now?”

“On a Turnip Farm outside of Teh Town...” She paused, as if she could hardly believe what she was about to say next. “... Pepper revived a couple days ago.”

The man paused for a long time, closing his eyes. “It's too soon. He shouldn't have woken up this quickly.”

“Yeah, the schedule is completely different.” The woman sighed. “We don't have as much time as we thought. We need to move soon. We have to conqueror Teh City before Pepper recovers his memories and his full strength.”

The man nodded. “Then we have no choice, do we? We'll have to revive McDonald and send the Phantom Clowns after Kimi sooner than we planned on.”

The woman raised an eyebrow. “Whoa, whoa... hang on. Are the Skies ready? If we banish Kimi and Sama too soon...”

“I know.” He interrupted. “... Though, all thing's considered, we don't have any alternative. We can't take control of Rapid Island with Kimi and Sama in this reality and we both know what'll happen if we fail, and Pepper regains his full strength.”

“... Well, then I'd better get going. I'll be waiting in the Skies for Kimi and Sama...” She paused, as if she was unsure. “Given the changes, are you sure you can handle this reality by yourself?”

The man nodded. “Probably not... but I can convince CHoW and Rowen to serve me. Perhaps the Custard-I as well. I will take over Rapid Island.”

As he said that, he stood and picked up a bag that had been sitting by his feet. Out of the bag, he pulled out a long, crimson cape and put it around his neck. “I suppose it's almost time for it to begin...”

The woman stood as well. “Then, I'm off to The Skies. I'll see you when I've taken care of Kimi and Sama – assuming you don't go and get yourself killed in the meanwhile.”

The two exchanged a smile, and then disappeared into opposite directions. Schemes were being hatched. The mysterious woman was off to 'The Skies'. The man (in the crimson cape) who had impersonated Bauer was leaving as well; he had to revive Ronald McDonald and prepare the Phantom Clowns to attack . . .

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Hope you enjoyed this, Joha! =3 If you're reading this, then you're here and that's awesome too. Happy Birthday! I know I'm late, but not as late as usual.

... That reminds me. Did I post things for C_R and Cojo and Spoony when their birthday's came up? It seems like I didn't. I totally need to do that. Why am I always so disorganized when it comes to birthday's? o.O

Sweet. And we still don't know the results of that "contest"...hmm....that gives me an idea.

And Jack Bauer, general in S.A.I.N.T. Sweet.


And why do I have the feeling that this is the beginning of a "rivalry" between Vidit and Mustang? In quotes because Vidit's may want to try to dispel it.

And yeah, S.A.I.N.T.'s office in Teh City is indeed small. It was built as a base of operations for one person: Vidit. No sprawling complex, just a few quick and to-the-point structures.

Hmm...perhaps I'll start some sort of story.

But wait, the fake general said whoever MELTS most of the statue wins round 3. Vidit shattered it, sure, but not melted it.

Oh well.

And Sama finally broke up with Blackfire!

I'd say condolences, but he's probably better off. :LOL:

Hahahaha! Awesome title; makes me think of both Gurren Lagann and the episode titles of Gintama. XD

Awesome story, once again, GS!

Though now I'm casually wondering, are these people involved with this "Crimson Cape" fellow actual characters from somewhere, or are they original?

Also, I'm completely missing where it said Jack Bauer was in this. :heh:

I shall read it...later today when I wake up @_@ But judging by the comments, it looks awesome ^^

XD

Oooh, very cool GS.

I think I know which Custard-I he means...

And yes, we need to get together for that story! Muhahaha.