The Great Egg Concertby
Brandon Rice (G-Sama)
Sama Says: I am SO sorry I haven’t been on to RP and stuff today! On days when I have to work, I won’t be on as much as I usually am. >_> HOWEVA! I don’t work every day. :p To make it up to you, here’s another wacky Sonic story, just like the Christmas one. MERRY CHRISTMAS (eve)!
The hustle and bustle of Station Square was increased tenfold because the city was preparing for a big concert. – starring Mina Mongoose, the biggest music act in the country. Posters were plastered all over the city, and a pair of young adventurers had found those posters.
Sonic and Tails were hanging out in Station Square when suddenly Sonic found the poster. “Hey, hey! A big concert! That’s better than sitting around and doing nothing!” Sonic grinned, ripping a poster off the wall.
“Sonic, tickets have been on sale all day, and with pre-orders . . .” Tails shook his head. “No way we can get in!”
Sonic smirked and shook his head. “Psh, we KNOW Mina, remember? We’ll get front row tickets!”
Tails raised a skeptic eyebrow. “Sonic, I get this feeling that things won’t go well. It’s the same feeling I had at the
Christmas Party.”
Sonic shivered. “DON’T remind me. Anyway, this is completely different – and I want to hear some tunes! So let’s get going Tails!”
Sonic took off towards the ticket office, ands Tails shrugged his shoulders and followed behind his friends, using his twin tails as a helicopter.
Deep in the heart of Eggman’s secret lair were seated two individuals. One of them was the always-scheming Rouge the Bat. She was dressed in her ordinary attire, sitting on a chair with her wings folded behind her back and a yawn on her face. The other was Shadow the Hedgehog, who sat in the Chao Garden at the rear of the room, playing with his red-and-black chao.
All of the sudden the door burst open and Doctor Eggman came running in the room. He looked the same as usual, with one astounding different: he was wearing large pink boxers instead of his usual black trousers.
“Rouge! Just the person I wanted to see!” Eggman grinned. “Have you got any leather pants?”
Rouge raised an eyebrow, a look of horror and confusion on her face. “I have no idea which direction this conversation is about to go to next, so I’m just going to leave.” Rouge started to get up, but Eggman quickly shoved himself in front of her and shook his head.
“I need to borrow some leather pants!” Eggman explained. “I’m having a rock concert at Station Square tomorrow!”
Rouge blinked. “You want to borrow some leather pants... from me? Whatever kind of fumes you’ve been breathing in while in that lab or yours, I think you had too much.” Rouge’s colorful insult seemed ignored by the pantless man.
“Rouge, enough with your mouth – let me borrow some leather pants! I need tight ones too!” Eggman set himself up for that one.
“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” Rouge shook her head. “Okay, I guess I can’t get out of this conversation . . . what rock concert?”
Eggman grinned and got the look of a happy child. “Rouge, ever since I was a wee lad in Scottland, I’ve wanted to be a Rock Star!”
“That’s bull.” Rouge crossed her arms.
“How dare you say that!” Eggman growled.
“Because you’re not Scottish.” Rouge pointed out, her eyebrow raised in a skeptic look.
“I am too!” Eggman roared.
“You spelled Scotland wrong, doc.” Rouge sighed.
“Oh.” Eggman paused, unsure of what to say next. “Well . . . regardless of my lies, I am your boss and I DEMAND a pair of leather pants!”
Rouge let out a final, defeated sighed. “Okay, okay, I’ll give you a pair of leather pants.”
“I only need them for the night!” Eggman insisted. “I’ll return them!”
“No, no, please, I’d rather you keep them.” Rouge looked like she was growing ill at the very thought.
Shadow looked up from his chao and shivered all over. “This may kill the music industry.”
Sonic and Tails arrived at the Ticket Office. That had been a quick journey. Unfortunately – especially so for the hedgehog who hates to wait – the line was horrible. Sonic crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently. Finally, he yelled loudly.
“Come on, while I’m still young! This is taking forever!” Sonic complained.
“Sonic, we’ve been in line for two minutes.” Tails reminded his friend.
“GEEZ!? It’s been that long?” Sonic smacked his forehead. “Forget this, I know Mina personally, I shouldn’t have to stand in some stupid line! Come on Tails!”
Sonic grabbed his companion by the hand and took off before the fox could protest. Sonic zipped away from the line and up to the large doors in front of the stadium where the concert was to be held.
While this was happening, Eggman was still at his evil lair, getting ready for the concert. Eggman was in his room, leaving Shadow alone in the main hall of the Egg Carrier. Well, Shadow wasn’t truly alone. He had his black-and-red chao with him. The one who had an appearance very similar to Shadow’s and usually followed the chao with the black helmet around.
“SHADOW!” Eggman’s voice boomed over the speaker system. “Get the butter out of the fridge, I need you to butter my buns for me!”
Shadow raised an eyebrow. “Make your own sandwich! I’m not your sidekick!”
“Sandwich? No you stupid hog, I can’t fit my buns in the leather pants, I need some butter!”
Shadow grabbed his mouth as if trying to stop himself from throwing up. He shivered several times and his eyes spun around in his head. “GEEZ DOC! I was gonna say ‘no’ when I thought you wanted a sandwich, now I have to go gouge out my eyes!”
Just as he was approaching the concert room doors, a security guard got in front of Sonic and stopped him.
“Not so fast!”
Sonic’s jaw dropped. “
Knuckles? What are YOU doing here?”
In front of Sonic was none other than his original-rival, Knuckles the Echidna. Knuckles was dressed in a security guard’s uniform – completely with dark blue slacks, a light blue shirt and a dark blue hat on his head. Knuckles also had a flashlight.
“I guard things,” Knuckles shrugged. “It’s habit. Besides, Mina’s letting me see the show for free for doing this. I’m not exactly rich, you know.”
“You have a Emerald that’s bigger than most people, how can you not be rich?” Tails inquired.
“. . . Shuddap and go take your seats!” Knuckles replied, unable to think of a quick answer. “Oh, but I’ll need your tickets first.”
Sonic smirked, apparently he had an idea. “We already gave them to you.”
“No you didn’t.” Knuckles scoffed, crossing his arms.
“Sure we did pal!”
“No you didn’t.”
“Yes we did.”
“No, you did not.”
“Yes, huh.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.” Knuckles replied.
“No.” Sonic turned the tables.
“Yes.” Knuckles appeared to have been tricked.
Sonic snickered and stepped forward, but Knuckles punched him back. “Give me some credit, I’m not Elmer Fudd! Now hand over the ticket or I’ll beat every last ring outta ya and then shove ‘em up your–”
“We’re going, we’re going!” Sonic sighed in defeat. He looked at Tails with large, puppy dog eyes. “Tails, old buddy, old pal, old chum, my amigo, my sidekick . . . how’d you like to buy the tickets?”
Tails sighed. “Knuckles, can’t you please just let us in this once?”
Across the street was
another concert hall. This was less of a super stadium; in fact it was an old Junior High School that had been converted into a concert hall for the day. Eggman was standing at the front of his pathetic concert hall, staring at the huge neon signs and flashing lights for Mina’s concert across the street with envy in his eyes.
“This sucks!” Eggman put it as elegantly as he could while he slammed his fist into the wall. He then spent a good minute in a half jumping around and yelling about the pain in his fist.
Rouge had long-since taken off, deciding that she wanted no part in anything involving too-tight pants, large amounts of butter and Eggman’s rear end. Shadow, unfortunately, was still here. He had no idea why he was still here, except for two conversations he had in his life before.
The first had been with Maria. She made him promise to never break a promise.
The second was with Eggman, when he’d promised to help him take over the world.
Shadow didn’t know what this rock concert had to do with taking over the world, but he had promised he wouldn’t leave Eggman’s side until Eggman ruled the world. If he broke that promise, he’d be in-turn letting down Maria, and Shadow couldn’t do that . . .
Even if it meant hearing Eggman sing.
“Shadow!” Eggman spoke up. “We have to attract people to MY concert! You go out there and campaign for me!”
Shadow shook his head. “Forget it, doc. Mina’s a celebrity and a professional singer, and she has big, glowing neon signs. You’re only famous because you keep trying to take over the world and then you get the beat down from Sonic. You can’t compete with Mina.”
Eggman’s eye was twitching behind his sunglasses. He was visibly upset, and his shoulders trembled with fury. He pummeled his left fist into the palm of his right hand, and then an idea struck him.
“I’ll send my robots to pass out fliers! Nobody can resist my robots!”
Shadow shook his head. “You’re an idiot.”
Eggman muttered a few choice words and went backstage to get ready.
Shadow let out a small sigh. Wordlessly, he entered the concert hall and took his seat in the third row. He sat, and beside him sat the red-and-black chao he had been playing with at Eggman’s Chao Garden. Shadow leaned back and kicked up his feet on the chair in front of him.
A few minutes later, just as Shadow was drifting off into a happy dream about Maria, a speaker buzzed to life with Eggman’s angry cries.
“SHADOW? What is this!?”
Shadow opened one eye and looked up at the evil doctor on the stage. He was in a horrible rock-star outfit, comprised of the borrowed pants and a top that resembled something out of
KISS . Shadow shrugged.
“Whatcha mean?” Shadow asked lazily.
“What do I . . . WHAT DO I MEAN!? YOU AND THAT STUPID CHAO ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE HERE!”
It was true. The entire audience was completely empty. Chairs were bare as far as the eye could see with the exception of Shadow and his chao.
“Doc! We’ve discussed the chao and I am ready to kick your ass . . . while my shoes are spitting out fire.” Shadow crossed his arms, and then he shut his eye again. He wasn’t interested in Eggman’s concert.
“Brrrrrrrrrrrgggghhh! Curse that Mongoose! I’m going to get her!” Eggman vowed. “I’ll take the Eggpod over to her concert and destroy her, and then everyone has to stay and watch me!”
Eggman sprinted off the stage to reach his Eggpod. Shadow shrugged and closed his eyes again, deciding to drift off into sleep. He had no reservations about missing Eggman’s concert debut.
“I don’t believe that lousy Knuckles!” Sonic complained. He was now dressed in the security guard uniform Knuckles had been wearing a few minutes ago.
“The only way he’d agree to let us in is if you took over his job for him.” Tails reminded the hedgehog. “At least you get to see the show.”
“Yeah, while you and red sit front row and chill I’m going to have to walk around and shine my flashlight at people.
“Oh well, it could be worse.” Tails reassured him, meaning it was bound to become bad at that moment.
Instead of some horrible thing happening, it was quite the contrary. It was at this moment that Mina walked out on stage to thunderous applause. The crowd was really revved up and excited! Just as she was getting ready to sing the first song, a dark shape floated overhead and Eggman dropped down from his Eggpod.
He landed on the stage next to Mina, and while it made a horrible creaking noise it did not break. Eggman grabbed the microphone away from the Mongoose and turned to the audience.
“Now you’ll all listen to ME!” Eggman grinned.
Sonic shook his head. “Man, I should’a just stayed home.”
Music started to play, and Eggman started bending his knees and waving his free arm. Then, to the horror of everyone, he started to sing.
“
Eggy-Eggy-Eggman, Eggy-Eggy-Eggman, I’m the Eggy-Egg-Eggman! Eggy-Eggy-Eggy-Eggman! You gotta love the Eggy-Eggy-Eggman!”
Sonic grabbed his ears, as did just about everyone in the Concert Hall. Knuckles burrowed underground, Tails stuffed a tail in each ear and the rest of the audience started to scream and yell and run around.
“
I’m Eggman and this is my master plan, you all can’t touch me cause I’m the best, and if you go against me you’ll fall like the rest, I’m the Eggman, the amazing Eggman, I’m much better than Spiderman because I’m the Eggman!”
Sonic shuddered and he looked up at Eggman. That was a mistake, because now Eggman had turned around and started shaking his groove-thang, which was enough to make several people in the audience suddenly go blind.
Sonic couldn’t stand this any longer. He curled into a ball, revved up and shot at Eggman like a missile. Unfortunately, Sonic bounced harmlessly off Eggman’s backside and flew into the crowd.
Eggman was still singing, and people were screaming.
Sonic got back up onto his feet. Eggman’s booty gyrations were the most awful thing he’d ever seen. The blue hedgehog had to find a way to stop him, but he was out of ideas.
“Sonic!” Mina came running over to him, covering her ears to block out the sound of Eggman’s voice. “Do something!”
Sonic shook his head. “Those pants have compressed the fat in his bum into a giant, impenetrable shield!”
“That’s . . . I don’t even know what that is.” Mina shook her head.
Sonic shivered. “That does it! We have to find SOME way to defeat Eggman!”
Suddenly, a helicopter flew overhead, the loud nosie of the blades drowning out Eggman’s singing. There was great cheering at this, but only for a moment. The helicopter door swung open and Commander Braxton hung out of the side, holding a large hose.
Braxton looked down at the Concert Hall. “I’m going to show this whole area in napalm! You won’t escape this time Shadow!”
The pilot of the helicopter looked down and noticed that Shadow wasn’t here, and the people were no longer screaming and bleeding from the ears. “Sir! I don’t think Shadow’s here, we don’t need to burn this place down!”
“Silence!” Braxton shook his head. “I see a hedgehog!”
“Sir, that’s SONIC. He’s the hero!” The pilot begged his boss.
“Nonsense! There’s no such thing as Sonic! He’s just a myth! NOW TURN ON THE NAPALM!”
The pilot sighed and flipped the napalm switch. Braxton started spraying napalm at the concert hall, and people started running out of the stadium. Sonic shook his head, the whole idea of a concert was suddenly a very bad one.
“Sonic, I’ve got an idea!” Suddenly, between Sonic and Mina, the ground popped open and Knuckles stuck his head up. “Here!”
Knuckles tossed a large spring out of the ground, and then he went back under. He wasn’t afraid of the napalm or GUN, but he didn’t want to hear Eggman’s singing. That was too much, even for him.
Sonic grinned and jumped onto the spring, rolling up and bouncing straight off. He flew, not at Braxton, but towards Eggman. He hit Eggman and bounced right off again; but he flew backwards into the spring and shot right back to Eggman. He flew back and forth between Eggman and the spring. After three or four bounces, he hit Eggman with enough speed to knock him right off the stage and into the air.
Eggman flew threw the air and smashed into the GUN ship. Braxton yelped loudly and dropped the napalm hose, which began to fill the helicopter with napalm. Braxton, Eggman and the pilot all screamed. The helicopter became so hot the fuel ignited and the helicopter exploded, sending all three flying through the air.
As they disappeared into the darkness of the sky, they crashed right into a another pair of people flying in the sky. One was a young woman with long red hair and one was a young man with blue hair. They also had a cat with them.
“Hey, who are you guys?” The cat asked.
Fortunately for them all, Eggman’s pants finally gave way, and when they ripped they formed a handy parachute to gently touch them all down . . . into the middle of the dark bay.
Back at the empty Stadium, the concert was over. Eggman and GUN had ruined it. Sonic and Tails were chased away by Ash, Mina’s overly-jealous boyfriend who blamed Sonic for the entire incident.
“Man, what a waste of a night.” Sonic put his hands behind his head.
“Yeah . . . we heard some AWFUL singing, saw things that cause temporary blindness, and were almost cooked.” Tails recounted the night’s events.
“Well . . . at least we didn’t run into –”
All of the sudden Sonic was ripped right off the ground and found himself hanging from a street light. There was a rope around his foot; he’d stepped into a trap. From behind a trash can, Amy jumped out with a smirk on her face.
“Gotcha! Didn’t think I’d show up in the last paragraph, did you?” Amy grinned and wrung her hands like an evil genius. She cut down the rope and skipped off down the street, dragging Sonic behind her despite his protest.
Tails shrugged. “Maybe I’ll catch a movie.”