[Dilemmas], Bets! Airships! Cameos!

The tension in the air was palpable. Nervous sweat fell from foreheads, and eyes darted around the room out of paranoia. Muscles twitched as every movement, every sound, and even every breath taken was being watched and analyzed. The group had gathered and all eyes watched the two in the center of the room, studied them as intensely as a group of scientists on the verge of a major breakthrough.

It was the moment of truth. It was the instant that everyone had waited for, for several months. Pain, sweat and tears had all been sacrificed in the lead up to this moment.

“Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadies and dudes, welcome to the moment we have all been waiting months to see… the conclusion of the stupid bet!” Kimi flew out into the middle of the room as the lights all around suddenly dimmed and a spotlight hit her. Confetti fell from the ceiling and lights flashed like a gameshow.

“We know our contestants – Spoony and Crystal Rose – so there’s no point in introducing them.” Kimi said with a laugh into the nearby television set. She was using it to broadcast to TV’s all over Teh City, using the same type of broadcasting the Spoon did for his ‘TV traveling’.

“Now a bet this big can only be decided by a crack team of judges, and we’ve assembled three judges with unparalleled wisdom, incomparable intelligence and absolutely no trace of bias on their part.” Kimi expounded for the cameras (which were a TV set).

“First up is the Spoon’s longtime best friend and close confidante, Phaaaaaaazon!” Kimi introduced the first judge who had ‘no trace of bias’, and Phazon stepped out into the middle of the K Tower’s living room, waving for the TV and sitting on the couch.

“And since the only thing less-biased than a best friend is a boytoy, let’s welcome judge number two, Wonder Saaaaaaama!” Kimi announced once more, and her sidekick appeared in his own living room, also waving to the camera as he sat down.

Kimi then gave a small chuckle. “And since any decision made exclusively by dudes is a decision made wrong, let’s welcome judge number three, Mojohannaaaaaaaaa!” Kimi grinned as the Guardian appeared from the doorway and sat down at the last remaining spot on the couch.

The super hero-turned-game show-host gave a grin to the cameras and then waved her finger. “Now before we get to the shocking and totally unpredictable vote from our totally unbiased judges, let’s go to our roaming Ronin reporter; Rowen! To get some opinions from ordinary citizens.”

Kimi turned to the television, where the picture had just changed to Super Rowen, who stood out on the streets of Teh City holding a microphone in his hand.

“Thanks Kimi! I’m standing here with an ordinary Joe, a regular guy… Colonel Roy Mustang!” The camera panned to the right, revealing the smug army officer standing at Rowen’s right.

“Now, Roy, you’ve been the commander of a wacky group of military officers – similar to the Flan-I in some respects… and you’ve also briefly served as Mayor of Teh City! So, with all that first-hand knowledge and years of political and military experience, who do you think should win this bet?” Rowen asked.

Roy cleared his throat and put on his best ladykiller face for the camera. “Without any doubt in my mind, I’d say Crystal Rose deserves to win the bet.”

Rowen nodded. “Okay, alright… and why do you think that? Is it your dogged experienced as a military officer? Your time spent as Mayor?”

Roy blinked. “Huh? No, none of that crap… it’s simple. She looks good in a skirt and he wouldn’t.”

Rowen sweat dropped, having (for some reason) not expected that answer (although he probably should have). Suddenly, a giant magical purple chopstick flew through the television and struck Roy right in the face, blooding his nose.

“HEY YOU TWO-TIMING, MAN-smurf! Don’t forget you belong to me, now!” Mojohanna roared from her seat at the judges table. She had broken the laws of physics and science (as well as the law against assault and battery) with her chopstick. Luckily they were magical, so it was okay.

“I’m sorry master, forgive me!” Roy cried on the television screen, before Rowen readjusted the camera so it was once again focused only on him.

“Sooo, let’s talk to another ordinary citizen of Teh City.” The camera panned once more, this time to the left. Avatar was standing next to Rowen.

“So, Avatar! You’re an ordinary… um… well, you’re a citizen anyway. So who do you think deserves to win this bet?” Rowen asked with a sweat drop.

Avatar gave a small laugh and crossed his arms. “OBVIOUSLY the only choice is The Spoon.”

The roaming Ronin reporter nodded. “I see, and why did you choose Spoony?”

In an instant, Avatar’s half-masked face was pressed against the television screen and he was growling and barring his teeth. “It is because the pro-huggle legislation coming out of the Crystal Administration is simply unacceptable! DO YOU HEAR ME, PINK ONE!? I WILL NOT BE HUGGLED ANY LONGER, FOUL DEMON OF AFFECTION! … Oh, and didn’t she try to kill most of us in the last episode?”

Rowen sweat dropped and focused the camera/television set on himself once more. “Well, there you have it… two very different opinions from two very different citizens… both of whom, technically, are not citizens since Avatar is legally still listed as deceased and Roy is actually still a citizen of another country.”

Avatar paused. “Oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to tell the DMV that I’m alive again.”

Kimi, resuming her duties as host of the show, turned her eyes to the three judges. “Alright losers – I mean, esteemed judges! In front of you, you’ll find a plastic spoon and a big pink bow! If you vote for Spoony to win, put the spoon in your mouth… if you vote for Crystal, put the bow on your head! NOW! Phazon, I command you to vote this instant!”

Flying up to Phazon, Kimi angled her microphone at him. Phazon raised an eyebrow.

“Can’t I just tell you my vote? With words?” Phazon asked.

“NO! You’ll obey me and use the props or I’ll shove them both up your –”

With a large bead of sweat, Phazon stuck the plastic spoon in his mouth.

Kimi nodded, satisfied with her bullying and then turned her eyes on the second judge. “Alright, O’ butler of mine, time to vote!”

Sama frowned a bit. “Call me a butler again and you can make your own dinner. Also, this is emasculating.” The sidekick, as expected, now had a large pink bow in his hair.

“Shut up, Jeeves.” Kimi ignored him completely as she flew to the final judge, the one who actually got to make a decision. “Alright Mojo Jojo… hanna. What’s, um, your vote?”

Mojohanna paused, looking down at the plastic spoon and the pink bow. Then she quickly plopped the spoon in her mouth.

There was a small theme song played and Crystal gave a sigh, while Kimi flew over to talk to the winner.

“Yeah, you won Spoony!” Kimi congratulated the Mayor. “You proved that you, as Mayor, have the most-annoying, worst headache-inducing job in town!”

“Yeah!” Spoony cheered, but he paused after a moment.

“And now, because you proved that, you get to go back to running the inner-workings of Teh City and dealing with the shenanigans of Sama and I on a daily basis!” Kimi continued her congratulations to him.

Spoony opened his mouth, but when no sound came out he closed it again. It seemed that it was only now that he realized by winning and proving that his job was harder, he would now have to return to it after months of being away from it.

“. . . I’ve made a huge mistake.” Spoony sighed in true Bluth fashion.


In
Dilemmas

It was August; mere days after Coke Killa and his followers had broken into a top secret pocket dimension populated by people in bunny suits. While inside the Destiny Management Bureau, Killa had finally discovered the location of his prize.

Shortly afterwards, Killa, CHoW and Halberd ended up in the midst of a lush, tropical rainforest on the World Below. Behind the vines and beyond the trees the trio had discovered something that seemed out of place for a rainforest: a pyramid.

“… Did we make a wrong turn at Albuquerque?” CHoW asked in sarcastic manner, crossing his gloved arms.

“Shut it, you pathetic Dark Helmet wannabe.” Killa snapped back. The villainous leader of the pack took another step forward and peered up at the temple, where slowly a smile spread across his face.

“Ha… Ha hahah… Ahahahahahah! This is it! THIS IS IT! This is the Pyramid! You hid it well, brother, but I’ve found it!” Killa laughed out loud, throwing his head back and his hands up in the air.

Killa walked up to the front of the pyramid and placed his hands on one of the gigantic stones that made up the base. Closing his eyes, the composite villain focused all the energies of the two inside into the stone. There was a brilliant glow and the rainforest was illuminated for several miles with a harsh light.

After several seconds, there was a clicking noise… and then nothing else happened. Killa blinked several times, staring at the rock in front of him. After more seconds had passed, Killa roared out in anger and slammed his fists against the wall.

“DAMN IT! Why won’t it open!? It’s here, I know it’s here!” Killa, under the voice of Pepper, shouted out in fury.

“… Pibb.” Pepsi’s sleek, feminine voice hissed with venom as she spoke the name of her former lover.

Killa stood up, and their face fell considerably. Killa clenched and unclenched his fists as thoughts raced through her mind. “… You’re right. Pibb would have taken precautions… and unlike us, he hasn’t been dead… if he’s been continually strengthening this pyramid over the years… damn it; I won’t be able to open this with my current powers.”

Pepper’s voice actually seemed full of genuine sadness and disappointment. He was always a terrible mess whenever he was unable to commit genocide. It bummed him out.

“How many others are there, Pepper?” Pepsi’s voice demanded from within their shared body.

“… Well, there’s two active for certain… but one of them is in another dimension, and getting there would be no simple task. I’m not even sure if he’s aware of what he truly is… the other is here, but there’s no way we could reach that one right now. Secluded and sealed away until a certain date…”

Pepper sighed, racking his mind to see if he could think of any other choices, any other possibilities…

And then a realization struck him. “There is… Yes! Him! Of course!”

“Who?” Pepsi demanded.

“Wonder Sama.” Pepper spat the name like he was spitting out a bad bite of fish. “When I first met him, I was creating another one, and that idiot wound up drinking it! It’s possible that fool still has a portion of my powers in him.”

CHoW was completely lost and confused by Pepper and Pepsi’s conversation, since the two were referring to events that had yet to be disclosed to either him or the reader. Still, at the mention of one of his most hated foes, CHoW soured.

“Whatchoo talkin’ ‘bout, Peppar?” CHoW asked, crossing his arms.

“First of all that was the worst Gary Coleman impression I’ve ever heard… and secondly, what I’m talking about is none of your damned business.” Pepper shot back, his irritated mood growing.

“He’s talking about the fact that he blatantly ripped off Pein and Voldemort in that he –” Pepsi began.

“SHUT IT.” Pepper demanded, his anger giving him enough power to push away the Pepsi personality of their current form. “Look, all that’s important is that we HAVE to open this Pyramid and retrieve the armor, but Pibb clearly put a shield on the Pyramid to keep me out. If I can reclaim the powers Sama stole from me, I can probably break the shield.”

Halberd shrugged. “So, let’s go beat Sama with tennis rackets.”

CHoW, however, darted forward. “Who cares about that stupid armor, anyway? As soon as MY city is finished, we’ll be able to crush them all without having to worry!”

Halberd flinched and took a step away from Killa as his face began to twist into a look of horrible rage. In an instantly, Coke KIlla grabbed CHoW by the scruff of his neck and lifted him off the ground, his nose now pressed against CHoW’s helmet.

“Listen to me you sniveling, incompetent excuse for a villain! Your toys are a part of this plan, but that armor is the key! Without IT, there IS NO plan! Do I make myself CLEAR?”

Pepper’s anger boiled over, and Killa threw CHoW to the ground. The helmeted-harbinger of hate shook his head and sighed in silence. Killa turned from CHoW and started walking away from the pyramid in the rainforest. His plans were put on hold, and he was far from happy about it…

Months passed, and finally Pepper managed to steal back the powers Sama had taken from him so long ago. The composite villain of soda returned to the Pyramid, and this time Pibb’s protection fell…

---

“… Quiet again.”

On one of the rooftops bathed in moonlight, Rowen peered out over Teh City. The young ninja gave a small sigh of relief and then reached down to his belt, taking out his cell phone. In a matter of seconds, he heard a click on the other end.

“Shelary? It’s me. I’m almost done with my patrol. It’s quiet; worse crime I’ve seen tonight is Kimi and Sama spraying graffiti on the side of a bakery.” Rowen explained with a little smirk.

“So you’re on your way back to the Tower?” A hopeful Shelary asked.

“Not yet… there’s still a couple of places I need to check out. I’ll be back in an hour or so.” Rowen replied, his eyes darting around the darkness of the night. The Flan-I could not explain it, but he had a feeling that something was happening.

“Ah… okay. Well, I’ll see you then…” Shelary’s sigh was noticeable over the phone as she hung up. Kimi, Sama and Shelary had all retired from patrolling the city from crime nearly two hours earlier.

Rowen, having not shared his feelings with the others, had elected to stay out. He wanted to be wrong… he hoped that his feelings were just empty suspicion. Yet, something inside him told the ninja that storm clouds were building and Rapid Island would soon be swept up in something big.

The ninja gave sighed himself. He knew Shelary worried about him, especially when he became obsessive. He climbed up on the edge of the roof, preparing to jump across to the next building.

Then he felt something heavy and metal slam into his back. The ninja sprawled forward, falling off the roof down into a cramped ally. He shook his head even as he fell, grabbing onto a hanging cable wire that was strung between the two buildings.

“I’m disappointed, Cojo. There was a time when you would have dodged that.”

Rowen looked down at the ally below him, where Darth CHoW stood next to a large, blue dumpster with peeling paint.

“Is this your new house, CHoW?” Rowen asked back instantly, supplying a smirk he knew would have annoyed his former best-friend to no end.

“Screw you, traitor!” CHoW shouted so loudly it was clear his blood pressure had just skyrocketed. The fallen Flan-I was undoubtedly unhinged by the loss of his former partner-in-crime.

“Nice comeback.” Rowen sneered. A moment later, Halberd jumped down from the rooftops holding a large metal pipe – the same one he had beaten Rowen with earlier.

As Halberd fell, he prepared to smash Rowen in the face; but with a flash of blue light Rowen vanished from where he hung and Halberd ended up merely smashing the cable lines.

CHoW spun around, expecting Rowen to appear behind him. When he saw no Rowen, he activated his saber and spun in a circle, slashing in every direction he could think of. He could sense Rowen was close, but he could not pinpoint him – instead he just hoped to score a hit.

After several seconds, CHoW realized Rowen was not attacking him at the moment. He looked around, but could not find the ninja.

“Running away? Learning how to be a coward from your new buddies Kimi and the buffoon? Or maybe Shelary taught you that? Hmm? Is that what you learned from the bit—”

CHoW had hoped that insulting Shelary would bring Rowen out into the open. Unfortunately, it had done just that. The paint-peeling dumpster next to him exploded from the force of a Chaos Blast, and CHoW was thrown against a wall and then smashed with a broken piece of garbage dumpster, and a big bag of trash.

“CHoW, I still think of you as a brother… but you will leave her alone, or I will HURT you.” Rowen promised through gritted teeth.

CHoW pushed the broken dumpster away, and tossed a banana peel from off of his helmet. “You’ve already hurt me, you traitor… and as for her, I’ll make her pay for destroying our friendship.”

“YOU LEAVE HER ALONE!” Rowen roared, and this time it was the ninja who was overcome with emotion. He jumped towards CHoW in a rage, his hand blazing with a forming ball of lightning.

Suddenly, Rowen felt a sharp pain on the back of his neck. It was Halberd’s boot as he kicked him with all of his might. Rowen fell into the ground with a grunt, and as he looked up CHoW fired a barrage of lightning from his fingertips.

As the electricity rocketed through his body, Rowen yelled out in pain and then finally blacked out.

---

Although the bet had been resolved, and the nightly patrols looking for any sign of Coke Killa or his followers had turned up with nothing, one of Teh City’s heroes still had an errand to run. One that had to be done in the cover of night to avoid the embarrassment that company would have brought.

“Ah! Sama, welcome to Uncle Avatar’s Emporium Of Dangerous Sheeet.”

Avatar’s room was located in the deep, dark basement of the Flan-I Temple, but just like Teh City’s other residential mad scientist, he had an elaborate underground bunker.

Sama was now standing in that bunker, in a cold, metal room. Black shelves flanked him on the left and right, and all of them were lined with unspeakable weapons – most highly illegal – and a variety of gadgets, gizmos and complex electronics.

“Hey…” A downtrodden Sama sighed. Normally seeing a room that contained enough firepower to wage seven world wars would have scared him beyond all sanity; but at the moment he was too depressed to be scared.

“So, I take it your powers are still in the crapper, as the saying goes?” Avatar seemed delighted to have some company in his armory. He was so excited to be showing off his various goodies, he had even left Shannon in his bedroom so as to spare Sama the leech-related injuries.

“Yeah.” Sama nodded sadly. “My strength and speed are both down, and I can’t jump to save my life anymore… instead of lightning, I usually just shoot sparks… and worst of all, I can barely even sense the Flan anymore… and the Flan is in my attic.”

Sama sighed and ran a hand through his always-messy hair.

“Ha ha, relax mi amigo! Your condition is temporary… your powers SHOULD return in time; and even if they never do, I have enough gadgets here to pimp you out enough that James Bond would be jealous!” Avatar promised in a bolstering voice.

The sidekick seemed skeptical, and at long last, a little frightened. “Riiiiiiight. Listen, Kimi expects me to be able to kick a certain amount of ass, and if I can’t do that I’m a danger to her and the people we try to save. So I just need a few weapons to keep me effective until my powers do recover.”

Avatar grinned like a madman, and Sama got a little more afraid. “No problem-o! How about a Gatling Gun?”

Sama blinked. “… I was hoping for something I could, you know, lift.”

The former Flantom frowned. “Ah… well, how about a Mini-Nuke Launcher?”

Sama’s eyes widened. “That sounds like dangerous overkill, and I would hope and pray such a thing would be illegal.”

Avatar shook his head, clearly annoyed and disappointed in Sama’s attitude. “You’re a pain in the ass, boy. Fine, how about a Rubik’s Cube that shoots lasers, a grappling hook, some explosive pellets and a boomerang?”

Sama blinked, and then he gave a grin. “Yeah, okay, that stuff all sounds good.”

Finally a smile returned to Avatar’s face. “Huzzah! I knew I’d have something you’d want. OH! While we’re at it, how about taking a Torture-Me Elmo? I still have some left over from Christmas.”

“… Please tell me that’s something you made up.” Sama whimpered.

“What? Torture-Me Elmo? Naw. It comes with bamboo chutes and genital cuffs. I tried to market them as toys for Christmas, but it didn’t catch on as well as I had hoped.”

Sama opened his mouth, but then closed it and shook his head. “Um… I’ll just take the other stuff…”

Avatar nodded. “Yeah, I figured you’d say that. I’ll never sell these things…”

As Sama hurried towards the stairs for his escape, the sound of loud arguing drifted down from the ceiling. The two Flan-I were both curious by the sounds, and each decided to go and investigate.

They arrived in the main room of the Temple just in time to see Green slam the front door as she stormed out. Tazzy, a mixture of fury and sadness in her eyes, sighed and collapsed into one of the large armchairs in the living room.

“Everything okay?” Avatar asked.

“…” Tazzy glared at him.

“Ack! I guess you’re not in the mood for stupid questions.” Avatar coughed, rubbing the back of his neck. He had a habit of irritating the girls, but he could usually tell when he was in danger of crossing a line and getting himself in trouble.

With a sigh, Tazzy’s face turned from anger to worry. “I’m worried about her… she’s becoming really concerned about Halberd. She keeps talking about finding him and talking sense into him.”

Avatar shrugged. “Maybe she should.”

Tazzy shook her head furiously. “No, no, NO! She’s not ready, yet! If she confronts Halberd now, it will make more problems than it solves. If she learns to blame herself for what happened to him…”

“Seems to always be the way,” Sama sighed, rubbing his neck in apprehension. “Somehow, friends always end up fighting one another…”

He could not help but think of Kimi, Rush and the nearly-irreconcilable conflict between the two of them. Did all friends eventually end up fighting one another?

Leaf Green was upset. The young girl whose hair matched her name was very upset that night. She had, for over a week now, been asking, begging and arguing with her teacher Tazzy.

Green was worried about her old friend, Halberd. The two had been enemies now for nearly an entire year. Lately, Green had been experiencing a horrible feeling in the depths of her bones and the pit of her stomach. She felt like Halberd was drifting further and further from the person she knew, and that he may end up as an enemy forever more.

The young Flan-I gave a sigh. She had come down to Teh Harbor, and sat on one of the docks, her feet dangling just above the water as she skipped stones across towards the boats.

“Man… when did everything get so complicated?” Green sighed, leaning back on her elbows. Of course, she already knew that answer.

Chaos Man. The man she now knew to be Coke Killa, who was really a composite of Pepper and Pepsi, had started as an influential internet celebrity named Chaos Man. Chaos Man had encouraged acts of youthful rebellion and mostly-harmless pranks.

She and Halberd had been fans of the show… but things had grown more complex when Chaos Man’s message became darker and darker, and Halberd had become more obsessed with it. In the end, it had resulted in her losing her friend.

“Man, it’s just not fair.” Green sighed, putting her head in one hand. “I mean, I have lots of new friends and these cool powers… but I didn’t want to lose my old friends… this whole thing just plain sucks…”

“It’s never too late to fix a dumb mistake.”

Green’s head shot up as she looked out across at the opposite dock. On one of the boated docking at the harbor, Chaos Halberd stood on the edge of the railing. His arms were crossed, and he had a look of superiority on his face.

“Halberd! What do you mean…?” Green was confused by his sudden appearance, but even moreso by his words. “Are you saying you’re ready to come back to the Flan-I?”

Halberd raised an eyebrow, and then shook his head. “Man… when did you get so dense? I was talking about YOU coming over to the dark side. Greeny, I promise it’s more fun.”

Green’s face fell. Her hopes had shot up so fast that when they came crashing back down it was painful. “… I can’t do that. I don’t want to do that, and I don’t know why YOU want to, or why you’d even think I’d want to.”

With a shrug of his shoulders, Halberd turned his back on her. “I’m sorry that it’s come to this, then…”

Green was confused, which is exactly what Halberd had wanted. She did not have time to sense the movement beneath her until it was too late. A giant creature jumped up from out of the harbor and slammed her in the back of the head with enough force to send her sprawling into unconsciousness.

On the boat where Halberd stood, CHoW quickly approached from below deck.

“It’s always sad when an old friend leaves you no choice but to kidnap them. Oh well! Soon enough, Rowen and Green will see things our way… or they’ll be dead.”

CHoW hesitated at the prospect, but moved forward as planned.

---

The blackened night was starting to give way to a splash of fiery red and fierce orange. As the sun began its climb, a group of teenagers and young adults stood at the top of a tall, green hill just outside of Teh Town.

“… This is so exciting. I’m genuinely glad you woke us all up so early for this.” Avenger’s sarcasm was thick enough to surpass the early morning fog.

“I’ll remind you it wasn’t my idea.” The Professor seemed equally annoyed. The two were joined by Jimi, Hammah, KxS and Tinman. The team of six stood on the hillside just in front of a gigantic, circular device.

Two hand-shape pads extended from each side of the device, and in the back was a fifth pad, connected to a sophisticated control panel. In the front of the device a cannon-like turret protruded.

“Well, Pibb did seem pretty adamant that we be here, in this exact spot. Though I’ll admit it would be nice to know what we’re doing here.” Tinman frowned a bit.

A little more than two hours earlier the Custard-I’s founder had stormed into the lab and woken everyone inside, demanding that they all prepare for battle and head to a certain hill just outside of Teh Town. There had been more than a few protests, but Pibb had made it perfectly clear that none of them had a choice.

Even Spork, who was not a part of the order, and Jimi who was not a Custard-I had been commanded in no uncertain terms. Pibb had insisted that Spork bring his most powerful weapon along with him.

The Spork had flat-out refused to do that, but he did bring the gigantic cannon. He intended to assure Pibb that it was a sufficiently powerful weapon to handle whatever had the Custard-I so spooked. The cannon absorbed power from the Custard-I and channeled it into a powerful beam of concentrated energy.

However, after nearly half an hour of standing around, Pibb was nowhere to be found. The group was growing increasingly worried, but also increasingly annoyed. Avenger speculated it was all some sadistic training regiment, though Tinman tried to assure the others that Pibb had a good reason for what was going on.

KxS had been very excited when she first got the prospect of an exciting mission before the sun was even up. Now, though, she looked to be only a few minutes away from falling asleep. Hammah too seemed tired and unusually cranky, while Jimi had a scowl on his face so intense he could have rivaled even the worst of Kimi’s annoyed glares.

“… That’s it. We’re going home.” Avenger insisted with a growl.

“Yeah, but… what if Pibb IS testing us?” KxS asked, sounding a bit worried. She did not want to anger her own teacher, but she didn’t like the idea of disappointing the Custard’s leader.

“… He’s not, and we’re not leaving.” The Spork’s voice suddenly changed from a tone of boredom to a serious pitch. He was gazing up at the sky as light began to tear away the curtain of night. What he saw was both amazing and horrible at once.

A shape appeared on the horizon. At first it was merely a black blur, but as it drew closer it began to resemble a city – a city that was flying through the air on the back of a gargantuan battleship. None of them had seen a vehicle so large, not even the Flan Star.

“… What is that thing?” Tinman asked, astonished by the sight of a flying city.

“There’s two logical conclusions that come to mind.” The Spork announced as his brain whizzed to think of all the possibilities before the flying city got too close to them. “It’s something that Pibb found, creator or is in control of to provide some kind of training to us, and his behavior earlier was part of a ruse… or, more likely…”

“Killa’s back, and its epic final battle time.” Avenger finished for the Professor, with a grin on his face at the prospect.

“We have to fight THAT?” KxS panicked as the flying city drew closer. It appeared to be roughly the same size as Teh City, which meant that the ‘vehicle’ was several times larger than the entire Town where the Custard-I lived.

Tinman allowed himself a nervous gulp, followed by a sigh. “As much as I’d hope this was just training, we all know that’s not the case. I’d say we’re in for a fight, mates.”

Hammah hesitated and cast a glance to the Professor. “… Dad? Can this cannon shoot that thing down?”

The Spork crossed his arms and closed his eyes, already pondering that very question. “… To be honest, I don’t know. This cannon can absorb the Custard power from our bodies and use it as a solidified beam – meaning it can combine whatever powers we give it and magnify them. In theory, that would be strong enough to destroy most things… but considering the sheer size of that ship, hitting the wrong area, even with intense powers, might do nothing; and we don’t have any clue on what IT can do.”

Jimi shrugged. “So… how about we just attack it and find out what it can do? We can always use the cannon later if we need to…”

“Head-on attack? You know I’m usually down with that, short-stuff, but in a case like THIS… some tact might be better.” Avenger admitted, though his hand was twitching very close to the hilt of his gunblade and he clearly was tempted by Jimi’s idea.

After several seconds, the Professor shook his head. “No. We’ll use the cannon… it IS a risk, considering it saps some of our powers to fire it, but just rushing into battle against an completely unknown enemy is ridiculous.”

Without missing a beat, the Professor turned to his right, where his right-hand robot was floating. “That said, Eddie I want you scanning that thing every second you can… Any information on what its capable of, or possible weaknesses is to be reported immediately.”

“You’ve got it!” Eddie responded, and the robot set to work.

The flying city was getting closer by the second. The Spork ran behind the device, pressing his hand down on the main pad. On the right, Tinman and KxS put their hands onto their pads, while on the left Hammah and Avenger did the same.

There Spork nodded and then flipped a switch. With an electrical hum, the machine jolted to life. All five Custard-I let out audible gasps as an intense pressure filled their chests.

“That’s normal, just don’t let go of the pad!” Spork yelled quickly.

A yellow glow illuminated the hand pads, and a portion of energy from each of the five was drained into the machine. It was as if in an instant they had used an equivalent to how much power they normally would have used in two sparring battles.

It was a hefty price to pay for a single cannon blast; but it also resulted in an incredibly powerful beam. Still, even with the weapon charged and ready to go, the Spork did not move towards the trigger switch.

“Eddie, I need to know if there’s any specific weak points, and if there’s any type of defenses that could block or intercept this beam!” Spork demanded, his patience were wearing thin and it showed in his tone of voice.

Though, it was no surprise he was becoming frustrated. The ship was moving fast, and the longer he waited the more limited his choices of shots became – and the lower the odds he could hit the ship in a vital area.

“… There are life readings from all over the ship… it does appear to be an actual city. There are also electrical readings, coming from everything from weapons systems to a working utility grid and wifi connection… everything one would expect from both a city and a battleship… and it is incredibly difficult to differentiate between the two.” Eddie explained.

“So… it IS a city?” KxS could hardly believe it.

“Probably not… if I had to guess, I’d say they’ve built a functional city on top of that ship specifically TO confuse radar and scanners. It’s tricky, and brilliant.” Tinman whistled.

The Spork agreed with a nod. “Fine, we’ll just fire at its center and try to spread the damage as much as possible… Eddie, what about a shield?”

“… There does not appear to be any type of force field or shield.” Eddie replied after a moment.

“That doesn’t make any sense… who would build something THAT big and complicated and not defend it?” KxS asked, shaking her head.

Avenger scoffed. “Only a complete idiot… so, CHoW.”
“True.” Tinman nodded.
“Oh, yeah, didn’t think of that.” KxS grinned.
“He does have the brain of a dead flea.” Jimi agreed.

The Professor was unsure if he agreed or not, but decided it did not matter. The city above them was moving too fast, and it was now or never. Aside from the fact they would be out of range, he also knew that the flying city had to be shot down before it was above Teh Town, or it would be too risky.

He flipped the red switch on the panel and suddenly the cannon shot forth a glowing beam of spiraling yellow light that rippled through the morning skies on a deadly-accurate path towards the center of the flying city.

Mere seconds before it would have impacted, a force field suddenly popped up around the flying city. The Custard Cannon Beam impacted against the field and there was an explosion of glowing lights and a massive snap sound.

The force field was perfectly intact when the beam disappeared. None of the Custard-I seemed to have any idea what to say.

“Eddie…” Spork growled between his teeth, glaring at the robot.

“That force field was not there when I scanned, I assure you.” Eddie replied.

“You could have pointed out they HAD one and it just wasn’t active.” Tinman criticized the machine.

Eddie, however, protested that. “No, you do not understand… there was no shield at all when I scanned. Active or inactive, I would have scanned it… there is no shield-producing equipment on that ship.”

“Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. And I’m Mary Poppins.” Avenger rolled his eyes.

“Chim chim cher-ee.” The cold, mocking voice of Pepper floated into the midst of the Custard-I; and despite them all wildly looking around, he was nowhere to be found. “Sorry, O’ useless ilk of my even-more useless brother; I don’t have time to make a personal appearance. I have to kill the Spoon first; but don’t worry, I’ll be sure to kill you soon enough, Spork.”

“… Aw, who am I kidding? I’ve been doing this long enough to know you’ll just follow me and cause problems. Play nice, custard kiddos!” Pepper added with a devious laugh.

Then, all around the group and their cannon, the ground filled with black smoke. The Spork’s eyes widened in genuine surprise and horror as several groups of the Heartless rose from the ground. They were a different variety of heartless than anything Spork had ever seen before.

These heartless all held miniature saber-like weapons that glowed with dull gray beams, but otherwise looked very much like Flan or Custardsabers. Aside from these new heartless, Shadow Men had appeared as well – several of them.

“I’m going after them!” Jimi decided suddenly, and he bolted into the skies after the gargantuan ship even as the Spork and Hammah both yelled their objections.

The saber-wielding heartless attacked; three jumping towards each of the Custard-I. Seven Shadow Men also moved towards each Custard-I, and they all seemed to have axe-heads for hands.

The Professor slammed his Keyblade into one of the Saber Heartless, while stabbing his own saber into one of the Shadow Men. Still, another Shadow Man jumped towards his feet and bit one of his legs.

With a mighty slash of his Gunblade, Avenger cut one of the Shadow Men clean in half; but one of the Saber Heartless slashed at his back. He avoided the blade itself, but ended up with a burn from how close it passed to him.

Hammah’s dual-sabers flashed and spun in a barrage of colors as he cut down one of the Saber Heartless on his right and two of the Shadow Men on his left. However, a third Shadow Man jumped right on his back and knocked him off his feet.

KxS impaled a Saber Heartless on her saber, and jumped away in time to avoid a Shadow Man. She spun around and cut a different Shadow Man down with a precise slash; but the one she had dodged before kicked out its foot and hit her in the small of her back.

Getting creative, Tinman blocked one of the gray sabers with his own blade and used his free hand – and his saucepan hat – to deliver a crippling blow to the head of a nearby Shadow Man.

It was clear the Custard-I had better skills and more experience; being main characters that was no surprise. The nameless minions, however, had one major advantage in their sheer numbers.

[…]

In the skies above, Jimi was hot on the tail of the gargantuan flying city. Now being behind it, he had a view of the ships thrusters. There were three gigantic thrusters that propelled the gigantic city forward.

‘I’ve got to disable those, somehow…’ Jimi realized. Another system entirely kept the city in the air, but if he could destroy the thrusters than the city should be stationary… and as Spork had explained, the city had to be stopped before it was over a populated area.

Jimi racked his brain trying to find a way to stop the thrusters. He shot off to the side and ripped up a large chunk of rock and earth from a nearby hillside, mashed it together into a ball with his strength and tossed it straight at the flying city’s thrusters.

The force field blinked to life instantaneously and the ball of dirt, rock and mud was destroyed on impact with the shield. Jimi frowned at the sight; even if he found something better to throw, that shield was a way of stopping it.

The clone thought for a moment. What possible weapon in his arsenal of powers could stop the ship? It seemed like he had none. His eyes narrowed as one possibility struck him. It was a completely irrational and stupid idea.

Somehow, he knew Kimi would have done it. That fact compelled him to prove he would too.

Jimi shot the one weapon he had that he was sure could make it through the shield; his own body. He flew towards the ship with his fists outstretched, but much to his surprise the shield did not raise!

Instead, Jimi slammed fist-first into the center thruster. Like a green blurry bullet he struck the thruster and tore right through. He felt a great heat sting his body and he could feel electricity whipping through. Jimi fell away from the broken thruster, feeling bruised, battered and bloodied.

He fell towards the ground, but just before he passed out he could see the center thruster explode, severely damaging the other two when it did. Jimi hit the hillside, and was out of the fight for the moment.

The city-sized ship was not immobile as Jimi had hopped; but it did slow considerably. It had already passed Teh Town and was going towards Teh City at the time Jimi impacted it, leaving the city sized danger floating above the empty wilderness.

The danger was not eliminated; but all-important time had just been purchased.

---

Green let out a long sigh as she sat up, rubbing her aching head. A few hours had passed since her ordeal at the harbor, and she had no idea where she was or how she had gotten there. As her vision refocused, she realized she was in a metal room, bare of even the most basic of furnishings.

She also had a roommate, in the form of Rowen. The ninja was slumped against the wall on the other side of the all-metal room, his arms crossed and his eyes closed. He was not the definition of happiness at the moment.

“R-Rowen? Are you okay?” Green asked, as she looked around. “Where are we?”

Rowen nodded slowly. “I’m fine, and we’ve been captured. I don’t know where we are exactly… it has to be Killa’s lair, though. There’s something preventing me from being able to Chaos Control, so before you ask I can’t get us back that way.”

Leaf Green gave a nod, and winced from her still-aching head. “Yeah, I kind of figured there was a reason you didn’t just warp us back to the Temple…” Her voice trailed off as she remembered her argument with her teacher, Tazzy, and her storming away in the night.

She wondered what Tazzy was thinking now.

“… Haven’t seen anyone else. When I woke up, I was here. You were too, unconscious. I’ve been trying to sense and see if anyone is around, but…” Rowen shook his head. “I keep sensing a lot of life… and a lot of evil intentions. I don’t know where we are, but there’s not much good around us.”

“Greeeeeat.” Green sighed, dropping her hands to her sides. She felt something on her belt, and much to her surprised realized she still had her saber. She looked up at Rowen excitedly to tell him, but Rowen still seemed melancholy.

“I’ve got mine, too. They didn’t bother to disarm us… which either means CHoW’s gotten lazier since I last worked with him, or he knows something we don’t. Either way, I’ve been waiting for you to wake up before I tried escaping.” Rowen stood up and stretched his arms out.

The younger Flan-I was still apprehensive. “Do you think it’s possible this is a trap?”

Rowen nodded instantly. “I’m sure of it. Only real question is who the trap is for… could be CHoW and Halberd really are after us… or maybe we’re just bait so they can lure the others into a trap. I really couldn’t say.”

Green gave a shrug, and activated her saber with the click of her thumb. “Whatever the case, I say we don’t hang around to find out!”

The ninja agreed and he moved quickly to the furthest wall of the room. In the blink of an eye, his saber flashed to life and cut through the steel wall as easily as a hammer crushing a glass doll. When a sufficient-sized hole was made, the two climbed out of the prison and got a surprise.

They were on a narrow ledge, on the side of a tall tower. In all directions they could see other buildings of every shape and size. The two were imprisoned in the middle of the robotic city atop the flying battleship. Green whistled and Rowen narrowed his eyes.

From atop the tower, Rowen could look down on the ‘city’ and see what it truly was. The buildings were all inter connected by tall, white walls. It was a maze of buildings and streets that only seemed to dead end. This place was a trap for anyone who wandered into it.

“You won’t find your way out.”

Across the way from the tower where Rowen and Green found themselves was another building, this one had a gigantic television screen on the side. CHoW’s helmeted visage appeared on the screen.

“What do you want?” Rowen demanded, clearly unhappy.

CHoW shrugged casually. “I’d say I want you, but the immature people would giggle. What I want is for you to give up this stupid, pointless charade!”

Then, Rowen clenched his fist. The ninja suddenly let loose an anger that had been building for a long time. “Damn it, CHoW, just stop! I’m not interesting in being a part of LASOOF, I don’t WANT to be evil… I like the life I have now, so just stay out of my business!”

The Dark Lord seemed unimpressed by Rowen’s sincerity. He shrugged once more, as if someone had just told him they had eaten the last slice of pizza. “Rowen… I really hope you change your mind… How about YOU, Green? Feel like joining the dark side? Halberd would be happy.”

Leaf Green stomped her foot down hard, taking CHoW by surprise. “Is that bucket on your face so tight it cuts off blood to your brain? I’m not interesting in joining you, Rowen isn’t interested… NOBODY is interested; so how about putting on some music videos instead of your ugly metal mug?”

With a scowl, CHoW shrugged one final time. “… Wow, a girl who wears primarily green treating me like crap. That’s new and inventive. Well, whatever… you WILL join me, Rowen! It is your destiny!”

The screen turned black. For several seconds, Leaf looked to the ninja beside her, trying to gauge his reaction. Finally, Rowen shook his head.

“We’d better start looking for a way out.”

“Three hours, kids.”

At the edge of Teh City, a small group was building of heroes and warriors. The titular heroes, the Flan-I Order, the newly-restored Mayor and both of the major military ambassadors had gathered in the streets. In the distance, a small black dot was moving towards Teh City.

Avatar was facing the others, while a small computer floated next to him, projecting several numbers in front of his face. “From what I can gather, that… THING took some kind of damage and its moving pretty slow… it should take about three hours for them to get over Teh City.”

The hero herself, Super Kimi, gave a bored yawn. “Mmhmm. So, why the hell are we standing around here instead of going to it and blowing stuff up? I thought you LIKED blowing stuff up.”

Avatar nodded. “I’d marry an explosion if it was possible, but it’s not… also, while going after that thing IS possible, it’s stupid. That thing is huge, and in all likelihood armed to the teeth. We’d need a giant robot or something.”

“Aww, potatoes.” Sama sighed, rubbing his neck. He recalled that at one point, he and Kimi had piloted Gurren Lagann, a giant robot with several drills and other fancy weapons… unfortunately, neither of the two could remember where they had parked the giant robot.

TS shook his head at the entire sight. “Okay, so we can’t just run up and attack it, but there’s got to be some option!”

“I agree… do you have one, Avatar?” Phazon asked his former apprentice on behalf of his new one.

“Well… no. … Oh, and did I mention it gets worse?” Avatar asked suddenly, adding such a statement as if it were an afterthought. When he received several death glares, he sweat dropped. “Riiiiiight, well, if that thing DOES have long-range laser weapons… we’d be in range in about an hour and a half.”

Phazon sweat dropped and shook his head; while Kimi punched the pavement to vent some frustration. The Spoon sighed, both from the bad news and because he would have to remember to repave that street later.

“Thank you, Avatar.” Spoony stepped forward, speaking in a calm, collective tone. “Vidit, Roy, for a long time now your nations have been allied with Teh City, what support can you offer?”

Mustang shrugged his shoulders. “I can’t promise anything more than what I have here now.” He noticed the sudden anger that flared through the Spoon’s face, and quickly launched into an explanation. “We don’t have airships in my country; it would take at least a day to get any support from Amestris to Teh City, and if Avatar is correct…”

The Spoon sighed. “Is that the real reason, or is it because Bradley wouldn’t shed a tear over our destruction?”

Mustang averted his eyes, but much to his immense relief, Vidit stepped in at that moment.

“SAINT has an armada of battleships. There’s nothing nearly as big as THAT thing, but all are immensely powerful.” The ambassador/secret agent pressed a few buttons on his glove, and a holographic A.I. called Cortana appeared.

TS grinned; Avatar started salivating at the idea of an airship armada. Tazzy and Shelary, though, were neither paying attention. Both were looking around, wondering why their group was missing two of its members.

“Contact SAINT immediately; tell Admiral Gibbs we need the Airship Armada deployed to Teh City at once.” Vidit ordered the AI. He was simply doing his duty… though it did feel good to be able to one-up Roy Mustang while doing so.

Unfortunately, Cortana shook her head a few seconds later. “… I am unable to reach any of the active SAINT com-channels.”

A feeling of confusion struck Vidit like a sack of bricks. “There’s over a hundred com-channels, Cortana, they can’t all possibly be busy…”

“… SAINT is in a state of emergency lockdown. All transmissions not rated at priority one are not being accepted.” Cortana explained, and the secret agent nearly fell to his face.

“Lockdown? That’s… that would mean…” Vidit’s voice trailed off.

Avatar, not known for his sensitivity in bad situations, nodded. “That’d make sense… Killa knows we have allies, might even know about SAINT’s airships… the smart move would be to attack them and keep them too busy to help us.”

“I… I’m sorry, I have to return to SAINT’s Headquarters.” Vidit blurted out, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t think of abandoning Teh City at a time like this, but… listen, as soon as I find out what’s going on, I’ll come back with a battleship… if I can.”

“… Seems like one of those ships is the best, and maybe only, chance of saving Teh City in time.” Phazon noted, casting a glance at the Spoon. “I think I’ll tag along with the secret agent man, see if I can help.”

Vidit paused. Taking non-SAINT personnel into their HQ was forbidden without permission from the Council. He started to protest, but before he even could his entourage grew.

“… I think I’ll come too.” Sama volunteered; he felt like there was nothing he could do against a flying city with his powers a no-show. International politics and a military base in lockdown did not sound much better, but he was willing to try it.

“Can I go?” Amelie spoke up, looking to Spoony. She gave a large grin. “I just know we’ll be back right in the nick of time… real old school ‘hero’ing… it’ll be so cool!”

“If three Flan-I are going, I’d better go too, since you’re my responsibility again.” Crystal said with a small smile.

“Whoever is going better go soon.” Kimi yawned, her hands behind her head as she lay lazily in the air. “Cause once that ship gets here I’m sure it’ll all be ‘boom’ ‘boom’ ‘scream’ ‘epic fight scene’ crap.”

Scratching his head, Sama thought of something. “How do we get there? Isn’t it miles away? And we have to go there and back in less than an hour an a half?”

Vidit pressed a few buttons on his glove. “I have an automatic return on the glove… it’s one-way, though. It will take us there, but if for whatever reason we can’t get an airship, I can’t promise I can return any of you back here before that ship arrives…”

Despite the bet’s outcome, Crystal was as optimistic as ever. “Don’t talk like that! Everything will be just fine; we’ll hop down to SAINT, get a ship and then make the bad guys blow up!”

“Ah, it does my heart good every time someone besides me talks about blowing up the bad guys.” Kimi grinned.

Vidit coughed; not in the mood for the usual insanity of the group. “We need to get going, right now.”

A glance at the horizon revealed the flying battleship coming towards them, and no one disagreed. The others who were going gathered around Vidit as he pressed a button on his glove; floating blue lights surrounded them and the group disappeared entirely.

After they vanished, Spoony stepped into the center of the group. “Okay. We need to prepare… I hope they’ll be back in time, but if not, we need to be ready.”

---

“Do you think they followed us?”

Rowen and Green were running through the city-shaped maze. The city was full of mechanical terrors, automatic laser turrets, saber-wielding heartless, gaggles of Shadow Men and something far worse than anything else.

“I don’t know… I couldn’t sense them coming at all… just stay on your toes.” Rowen was looking around, wondering if the two were safe. The Flan-I duo currently stood in a darkened ally between two large, empty skyscrapers. It was a dead end, but one they had ducked into to catch their breath.

The two had been doing well enough, dispatching robots and heartless alike without too many problems. They had been outnumbered, but the two kept moving, kept dodging and only attacked when the enemies were singled out from the rest of their groups.

Then it happened. The two had run into a creature larger and more terrifying than anything else they had seen. It was a muscular beast with an exoskeleton of scarlet bones protruding from its back. A Deathclaw.

“This maze goes on forever…” Green commented as she pressed her back against one of the eerie, solid-white steel skyscrapers behind her.

“Yeah… as a matter of fact…” Rowen’s voice trailed off as a realization sparked in his mind. The city on the ship did seem to stretch on and on, with no sign of the enemies he knew to be piloting it.

“Green, we’ve been looking for an exit in the wrong places! Look around for a manhole, or some kind of hatch!” Rowen exclaimed as his eyes shot to the ground.

Green raised an eyebrow. “Does this thing even HAVE sewers?”

“No, and that’s the idea!” Rowen grinned. “I don’t know what this city-maze is supposed to be for, but the actual ship is underneath it… so what looks like a manhole—”

Leaf Green got it and grinned: “—Would actually be some kind of access tunnel that would take us to those jerks!”

“Exactly!” Rowen snapped his fingers. The ninja paused, hoping to find something. Then, he spotted the outline of a square door out in the nearby street. There was just one problem; the hatch was sitting out in the open.

“… We could run for it.” Green suggested.

Rowen rubbed his neck, and frowned at the idea. If they went out in the open again, they would surely drawn attention… even if they made it into the access tunnels, the monsters and machines would know where they had gone.

“We don’t have a choice.” Noticing his hesitation, Green pointed out the obvious, yet painful decision was not really a decision at all. “If we stay in this ally, they’ll just find us… and I don’t think we could take on a whole army of those big things.”

Rowen would never have admitted it, even if he was on his deathbed, but he was not sure he could take on even one of the giant beasts. “… On three, we run out there. I’ll attract the attention of anything around here and you get that hatch open.”

The Flan-I in training nodded. Rowen darted out into the street first, flailing his arms around and shouting. He ran a few feet down the road, while Green darted out immediately towards the hatch on the ground.

With a horrible shriek, a Deathclaw came bounding down the street. For such a bulky creature, it was surprisingly spry and light on its feet. The vicious beast came right towards Rowen, slashing at him with three-foot claws as sharp as razors and as strong as swords.

Rowen jumped back, avoiding the swipe but missing his Chaos Controlling powers severely at the moment. He ducked and dodged to avoid two more swipes of the creature’s namesake claw before he was able to swing his saber in an upward arc, slashing through the monster’s belly and sending it stumbling away from him.

Briefly, the ninja hesitated. Then, the vicious Deathclaw bounded back to its feet and once again swiped at Rowen with its massive claws. The Deathclaw had a body as hard as a rock and a bony exoskeleton on its back; all of which made it very difficult to kill.

Rowen dipped and weaved, but his shoulder caught a claw that carved a deep cut along the length of his upper arm. The ninja winced and cried out, but also threw his opposite hand forward and sent a bolt of Flan Lightning into the creature’s face. Whatever had caused his chaos powers to falter had not affected his other abilities.

The lightning arced from the Deathclaw’s horns onto the red spikes protruding from its back and down to the creature’s tail. Rowen was amazed; the Deathclaw’s body seemed to channel the lightning through its horns and bones and away from any vital organs; leaving it largely undamaged.

Rowen might have sworn if he had a chance. Instead, he found himself dodging yet again as the Deathclaw jumped at him. The creature was insanely fast for something of its size, and Rowen was running out of ideas on how to kill it.

He still had one, though. As the monster charged at him yet again, he slashed with his saber and cut the creature’s horn off its head. He ended up taking a nasty blow from the Deathclaw’s shoulder, but even as he was thrown back violently, he unleashed another bolt of lightning.

Without the horn, the lightning was not channeled away but absorbed right into the Deathclaw’s face. With a massive roar, the creature slumped over and finally ceased its assault.

Rowen let out a relieved sigh, and then turned in time to see Green working on the hatch. He ran over, eager to see if she was making any progress.

“Can we get in through here?” Rowen asked, worried further enemies would find them if they did not move fast.

Green, however, cringed and shook her head. “N-No… we can’t… there are tunnels under the hatch, but… there’s a laser grid. We’d have to be the size of mice to make it through safely…”

The ninja shook his head. They had taken a big gamble going out into the open, and it was one that had failed. As he heard a roar nearby, he motioned to Green to forget about the tunnel. It was time to run and look for a new plan.

With a flash of blue light and the popping of several bubbles, five of Teh City’s heroes appeared on the World Below. Vidit, Crystal, Phazon, Amelie and Sama had materialized in front of SAINT HQ; a square, white building surrounded by seven tall pillars.

It became immediately clear why no one had answered Cortana’s call. They had just teleported into the middle of a fierce battle. Several people wearing high-tech suits of armor ran back and forth around the SAINT Building, blasting away using laser rifles.

All around the building were hordes of horrible things; Floating Robots, Heartless, Shadow Men and massive Deathclaws attacked from every direction. The SAINT Operatives in full-armor were holding the monsters at bay, but it was apparent that things were not going well.

“This… this can’t be…” Vidit was shocked at the sight. SAINT’s Headquarters was a heavily defended building full of highly-trained military operatives. Attacking the place was unheard of; and yet an army of darkness was descending on them.

Amelie gasped at the sight. This was a genuine battle between good and evil, complete with giant monsters and evil robots… and it was horrible. The good guys were not riding triumphantly, crushing their foes as she always wanted them to. Instead, they seemed to be doing all they could just to keep the enemy at bay.

“Who goes there?” Despite all the chaos, one of the heavily-armored SAINT agents had noticed the group that had just arrived, and quickly pointed a large, intimidating rifle at them.

“I’m Agent Light; stand down!” Vidit snapped out of his horror-induced mini-trance and put himself between the Flan-I and the SAINT agent. “I need to see the Council immediately!”

The armored agent did lower his gun, but shook his helmeted head. “Most of the Council Members are aboard airships, leading the defense… Admiral Gibbs is inside the Command Room; but he’s coordinating the battle and can’t be disturbed.”

“… We’re going to have to disturb him. It’s important.” Phazon interjected himself into the conversation. Even without being able to see the agent’s face, he could feel the glare he had just earned himself.

“Non-SAINT Personnel is strictly forbidden from entering the Command Center during a crisis.” The agent was speaking to Vidit, and from his tone it was clear he did not like having to remind him of that fact.

Vidit nodded. “I understand that, but –”

“We are Champions of JUSTICE!” Amelie interjected loudly, as if simply stating that was all the explanation they could ever need.

The SAINT soldier was about to speak again, but Sama stepped forward and put an arm around the man’s shoulders. “Listen buddy, you guys seem busy with the big battle and everything and we’re on a deadline ourselves, so how about we fast-track this thing?”

The soldier pushed him away and shook his head to Vidit. “Do what you want; but you know what the Admiral’s like.” He turned and ran off towards the left, re-joining a nearby battle.

Vidit uttered a little sigh.

“… So, did we need this?” Sama asked, holding up a keycard he had pick-pocketed from the guard moments ago. Vidit shot him a dark glare that forced the sidekick to wince before he brushed past him, hurrying the Flan-I into the square building.

Vidit led them up a winding staircase, moving towards a pair of massive doors at the top. When they were feet from their destination Vidit stopped and turned to the others. “Listen, Admiral Gibbs has no tolerance for nonsense in the middle of a battle, so Sama, you wait outside.”

The sidekick crossed his arms. “I’d be offended by that, but it’s probably a really good idea.”

While Sama leaned against the wall, the others headed into the giant doors. Inside the Command Room was gigantic, one wall was made up of a collection of enormous television screens. Each screen displayed a view of the battle raging outside, as well as similar battles being fought in other locations.

In the center of the room was a tall man with graying hair who watched the screens. He wore a uniform and had a headset over one ear. Even when the doors opened, he did not seem to respond.

“Admiral, I need a word.” Vidit said, stepping forward.

“I don’t recall recalling you, Agent.” Gibbs said immediately, never once tearing his eyes away from the screens.

“There’s an emergency on Rapid Island. Teh City could be destroyed; I need an airship to make sure that does not happen.” Vidit explained as precisely and quickly as he could.

Gibbs finally turned to acknowledge him; and he did not seem amused. “There’s an emergency here, too, Agent.”

Phazon decided to interject himself in the conversation; although he was unsure if it would help or hinder their cause. “The person responsible for what’s happening here is there; and this is the best chance we have to stop him.”

Gibbs turned to look at Phazon for a moment, giving an intense stare. Phazon stood his ground, though. Gibbs was an intimidating man, but Phazon had died twice, an act that made him much harder to frighten.

“There’s a lot of lives on the line, and we just need one ship.” Crystal added with a nervous smile.

“We promise to bring it back!” Amelie chimed in, causing Crystal and Phazon to wince in unison.

Gibbs looked at the three of them for a moment and his eyes seemed to study their faces intently. Then he moved forward and smacked Vidit in the back of the head. “Next time you let non-agency personnel in this room, there will be consequences.”

The Councilman reached into his pocket and tossed a key ring to Vidit. “There’s a ship in Hangar 14 we haven’t deployed yet. Take it and put an end to this.”

After reclaiming Sama from the hallway, the group hurried on their way. Hangar 14 was outside, in an area where the battle was raging fiercely. In a cruel twist for the five heroes, they found that the SAINT Agents were having luck in pressing back a vicious group of monsters.

Unfortunately, those monsters were being pushed right in the direction of Hangar 14.

“We’ll have to go right through them to get inside…” Crystal frowned. They were severely outnumbered. The group could have fought their way through, but they were quickly running out of time and could not waste long fighting.

“Oh! I think I actually brought something for this.” Sama exclaimed, sounding a bit too pleased for such a bad situation. He knew how horrible things were, but he suddenly felt useful for the first time since losing his powers.

He grabbed the Rubik’s Cube Avatar had given him and twisted it; then he tossed it like a grenade. Vidit simply stared at him in disbelief, but Crystal and Phazon recognized the device as one of Avatar’s gadgets and hit the deck.

When the cube landed each individual square started shooting powerful lasers in every direction. The area near the hangar was where the monsters were gathering to regroup and so there were no SAINT personnel in danger. After a few seconds, the Cube had exhausted itself, but reduced the monster’s numbers by a fair amount.

“Now or never, then!” Phazon called and he jumped up, charging at the hangar. He was one of the fastest Flan-I in the order and mere seconds after he jumped up, he was at the group of monsters.

Many of the beasts were confused by what had just happened, and Phazon threw up his hands and leveled a lightning blast at the group as a whole. Several of the smaller Shadow Men and Saber Heartless were taken down, but the much larger Deathclaws resisted it the lightning completely.

Two of them advanced on Phazon and the Flan-I jumped back. As he did, the Deathclaw on his right was struck by one of Vidit’s super-heated lasers directly in the face. The Deathclaw on the left was swept up in a sudden tornado and throw into it’s now-burning brother.

The group hurried past the half-defeated and utterly-confused monsters, into the hangar. A gigantic ship stood before them. All of them hoped it would be as impressive in battle as it was to look at.

“ALRIGHT!” Amelie cheered. “We’re on our way! Let’s go crush that evil ship with ours!”

She ran towards the SAINT Battleship, but from beneath the ship a wounded Deathclaw charged at her. A few of the monsters had entered the hangar to nurse their injuries before the Flan-I team arrived. Amelie narrowly dodged the Deathclaw’s massive arm; she activated her bright orange saber and thrust back at the creature.

The Deathclaw roared out in pain as its arm was pierced, but it shot forward throwing Amelie back. The young Flan-I hit the ground, but refused to be defeated. She jumped back to her feet and tossed her saber at the monster’s face even as it descended on it. The moment the saber’s blade struck it in the head, the Deathclaw reared up and roared out in fierce pain.

Sama ran ahead, getting behind the Deathclaw before he grabbed a few of the explosive pellets from his belt and tossed them at it. The pellets exploded with more firepower than their small-size would have let on and the beast tumbled onto its side, bloodied and beaten.

“We have to go, now!” Vidit yelled to the others. He pressed several buttons on his glove and the SAINT Battleship roared to life. Lights blinked on and the cargo hold opened, extending a ramp for them to board. “We are almost out of time!”

He frowned heavily. He did not like leaving while his fellow agents and the organization he served so proudly was embroiled in such a battle. Still, Coke Killa was the one responsible for everything that had happened and he had to be held accountable.

The Flan-I ran up the ramp and Vidit joined them, casting one last glance towards the square SAINT building before shutting the doors and running for the control room.

None of them said it aloud, but they were all thinking it: A question that twisted and wriggled inside their stomachs and made them all uneasy. Would they make it in time?

---

The city-sized flying battleship was drawing ever closer to Teh City. It would be mere minutes before the ship would be within firing range. The remaining defenders of Teh City had done their best to prepare and coordinate an evacuation – but given their limited time, they were unsure how effective either effort would be.

“… Kimi? I’m starting to get really worried.”

The super-hero was floating near the city limits, watching the ship as it drew closer to them. She knew she had the best chance of anyone to stop CHoW and was, for once, completely serious about her duties. Shelary approached her with a concerned look, and even a momentary sideways glance told Kimi her friend was distressed.

“Relax, would ya? If Secret Agent Man and the Flanny-Four don’t get back in time, I’ll just open up some classic Kimi whoop-ass on that thing. It’s not really as suspenseful as you’d think.” Despite her usual sarcastic words, Kimi was far more worried than she allowed herself to let on.

“Actually…” Shelary hesitated, a feeling of immense selfishness washing over her. “I was talking about Rowen… I’ve been calling him, but he doesn’t answer his phone.”

One of Kimi’s eyebrows arched. “… He still hasn’t shown up? Ahh…”

Kimi frowned and closed her eyes. She had never been described as the most sensitive person in Teh City. He usual advice was ‘shut up’ or ‘stop your bitching’; but the look of pain in Shelary’s eyes was intense enough that Kimi knew she was really worried.

“… Like I said, relax. I’m sure Rowen’s hiding around here somewhere, wanting to jump out at the last second and try to be all heroic. He’s trying to overshadow me, but can’t compete in general coolness or he has to take all the ‘nick-of-time-save’ opportunities he can get.” Kimi tried her best to destroy Shelary’s worries.

Shelary gave a small nod, though her eyes remained fixated on her own shoes. “You’re probably right.”

“I’m always right. The sooner everyone else learns that the sooner we can have world peace.” Kimi expounded.

Shelary usually found comments like that amusing, but her mind was preoccupied with a very different scenario. Cautiously, she looked to Kimi and asked it. “What if he’s having second thoughts about fighting CHoW?”

For a moment, Kimi felt a sharp sardonic stab in her side. “… Eh, knock off the worried crap. He’ll do what’s right.”

However odd it might have been for Kimi to be standing up for Rowen’s morals, neither of the two had time to reflect on it. Shelary only managed a small smile from Kimi’s words before the first sphere hit the ground.

The ship, still a bit away, started launching several spheres towards Teh City. The round and metallic spheres hit the ground hard, and slowly opened. Inside some were groups of Heartless, others contained Shadow Men and a few held Deathclaws inside.

“Well… that sucks.” Avatar coughed, watching as metal eggs plummeting just outside of Teh City and the horrible beasts inside started charging towards them.


The monsters arrived and started attacking indiscriminately. They targeted the buildings, the cars and anyone they could get close enough to. The Shadow Men hacked and slashed with arms that transformed into blades. Saber Heartless destroyed anything around them like short, faceless Flan-I. Deathclaws were the worst, ripping apart whatever they could touch.


Tazzy was still worried about her apprentice, and her concern had grown as time passed without any word from her. At this moment, though, Tazzy had to push all of those thoughts away and attack.

She charged at a group of Shadow Men who were cutting a utility line down. Using her earthbending, she propelled a stone out of the concrete beneath her feet, launching her towards the group. She came down on them with her saber blazing, cutting one of the Shadow Men apart.

The other two attacked her from either side. For the one on the left, Tazzy slammed her foot into the pavement and a concrete slab shot up, knocking the creature back and crushing it. The one on the right ended up with a fireball scorching its face.


Not far away, TS was trying his best against a group of the Saber Heartless. The faceless fiends were all around him, attacking at every opportunity they got. Unlike many of the henchmen of the past, the Saber Heartless never let up for even a second.

TS was able to disarm one of them using his own saber, but the others became too aggressive and he had to jump away before he could finish the fallen Heartless off.

He growled to himself, looking around wildly for any chance to take the group down. They continued their fierce assault, but TS caught sight of a nearby hydrant and moved to it. He slashed the front of the hydrant open and sent a torrent of water spraying against the Heartless who chased him.

The high-pressured water knocked them all down, and when they had fallen TS charged and took them down.


Mojohanna flew above the battle on her twin purple chopsticks. Every now and then, she tapped her foot and a bolt of lightning fired from at one of the monstrous invaders.

She noticed a Deathclaw larger than most of the others; it had just tossed a small car through a store window. She flew right at it, filled with a sudden idea. Just seconds before she would have crashed, Joha jumped from her chopsticks and let them impale the creature’s shoulders.

She landed a few feet away, and noticed the Deathclaw was on its knees. Suddenly, the monster stood back up with a roar and came charging at her. Joha’s swear was lost over the noise of the battle, but her actions came through loud and clear. She preformed a back flip, kicking the chopstick in the Deathclaw’s left shoulder as it approached her.

The Deathclaw reared back from pain and the chopstick flew into the air, spinning and spiraling on its way back down. Mojohanna jumped, caught the chopstick and brought it down with a demanding ‘THWACK’ on the Deathclaw’s head.


Avatar had vanished briefly at the beginning of the battle, but suddenly returned. In his hands he held a new invention, and on his face he wore a demented grin.

“Alright ya bunch of ugly freaks, I’ve got two words for ya!” Avatar bellowed. “FLAN CHAINSAW!”

He held an oval shaped device that resembled an oversized Flansaber. Once he pulled a cord on the opposite end, though, it roared to life mimicking a chainsaw. With a laugh that would have made even a horror movie star go cold to the bone, Avatar charged at a group of Deathclaws.

He was smiling.


Kimi always preferred the most simplistic approach. She had picked up a pick-up truck and was using it as a hammer to beat a Deathclaw senseless. It had worked on the first three Deathclaws she tried the plan out on, and she was only on her second pick-up truck!

Kimi grinned to herself as she broke the front end of the truck on the Deathclaw’s head. Luckily the monster’s skull was broken from the same impact.


Shelary was an experienced warrior, with an unrivaled proficiency with daggers. She could even absorb nearly anything into her blades and repay it twice over. Beneath her sweet demeanor was a true warrior.

Usually.

Today, Shelary was preoccupied. Kimi’s words had helped, but as more time passed she started to worry about Rowen more and more. She had heard of Tazzy’s missing apprentice as well, and feared that the two of them had fallen victim to a nefarious scheme.

In her confusion over Rowen’s whereabouts, she was far from top of her game. When the Saber Heartless charged at her from behind, she never noticed until it was too late. The Heartless had an open shot and could have easily cut her down.

It would have too, if a giant wave of ice had not covered its face.


“… Perhaps that will improve your image of me.”

Shelary looked up to see the Professor; a man she had never much cared for because of his connections to Rowen during the ninja’s ‘Dark Times’.


The Custard-I had just arrived. They each sported bruises and cuts, and Jimi looked like he could hardly stand. Despite the injuries, they quickly joined the battle against the monsters.

With the arrival of the Custard-I, the forces defending Teh City would have their best chance yet at defeating the swarms of monsters. There was little chance that even the mighty Deathclaws could overcome the combined strength of the two Orders.


Unfortunately, the Custard-I were not alone in their arrival. The Battleship had just moved into firing range…

---

To Be Continued…

---

---

I'll get to work on part 2 on Monday or Tuesday... for the next couple of days, I'm playing ketchup with RP's and comics and whatnot.

Hope everyone enjoys this!

Love it!!!

And so the bed concludes! Well I must say after all that's in this chapter being the major really IS the harder job! Have fun cleaning up after this Spoon....

LOL. That sounds like a magically horrible place to be.

Heck, EVERYTHING in this part was hilarious and oh so wrong.

Guilty.

ANYWAYS! Great first half! I'm left in suspense for what will happen next! SUSPENSE.

Can't wait

Awesome as usual! Good work, Sama!

Crystal: Huzzah! Glad to hear it!

It's okay, I think the Spoon gets a discount on construction costs. At least I hope he does.

Yes! Avatar's got some... unique... items for sale. As long as it was hilarious, then a little 'oh so wrong' is okay. :3

Well, the next half shouldn't take too long to write! Thanks for reading. :3

KxS: Thank you! :3 I'm glad you thought so.